As weeks pass by, I can feel myself falling for Allie harder and harder. I'm noticing little things. The way her hair smells, how she taps her fingertips together when she's focusing...
Sometimes when she smiles, she scrunches up her nose. It's the cutest thing in the world.
I look at her and suddenly the world seems perfect. She holds my hand and my worries are nowhere to be found.
She's my 'something good' when days are rough and life gets too heavy.
I know it now. And I'm not afraid of telling her. I'm ready...
I run to my room and grab the black velvet jewelry box off of my dresser.
I run back to her to see her with a gift box. The lid is secured by a ribbon tied into a bow around the box.
"Mine first!" She offers it up, smiling big. "I hope you like it."
"Whatever it is, I know I'll love it," I tell her with a chuckle, setting my gift for her on my desk.
Allie watches closely as I undo the ribbon and set it on my desk. I take off the top and pull out a strange contraption. It's three rectangular prisms, two that lay flat on the surface and one that points up and has a corner cut off of it. It's been made out of clay and glazed with a metallic gold glaze. It looks antique because of the finish of the glaze, but I can tell that she handmade it by the 'A' in the side.
I stare at it for a few seconds, not really sure what it is, then Allie speaks up.
"You told me once that when you were eight years old, you tried to build a Penrose triangle," She starts, looking down at the gift. "But you couldn't because it was impossible. Well, I found a way, sort of. It's a Penrose triangle..."
"It is?" I raise an eyebrow at her.
She nods, taking it from my hands. "It's not exact and it's not, y'know, a real Penrose triangle..." She sets it down on my desk. "But it's more of an illusion. If you look at it the right way...it's pretty darn close."
She moves behind me and positions me in front of it. "Look,"
The angle I'm looking at it from makes it look like a real-life Penrose triangle.
"Wow, Allie, this is... this is the best thing anyone's ever given me. You made this?" I turn around to face her.
She blushes. "I wanted to do the impossible for you." She scrunches up her nose right after she says that. A small giggle leaves her lips. "That was really cheesy, forget that I said that! Just, just...forget-"
I smile at her, shaking my head. "I love you," I say through a chuckle. It's then that I realize I said it, and she does, too. Allie looks up at me with wide eyes, biting her lip to keep a smile at bay. The words fell off of my tongue so easily, like I'd never been afraid to say them. "I...love you," I tell her again.
"Really?" She asks me, tears building up in her eyes. "You do?"
I nod, resting my hands on her arms. "I do, Allie. That's not how I wanted to say it, I had this whole thing planned out and I got you this necklace," I gesture toward the box on my desk. "And before I knew you weren't coming over this weekend, I was going to make you dinner and light candles. I just... I wanted it to be perfect. You deserve the best after waiting for so long. I just kind of blurted it and I-"
She cuts me off by pressing her lips to mine. Our mouths move in sync for a few seconds before she pulls away, resting her hands on my chest.
"Spence, it was perfect. It really was," She smiles up at me. The girl brushes my hair back with her fingers. "I love you, Spencer."
I smile at her. "I love you, too." I give her a quick kiss before grabbing her gift off of my desk. "Here, this is for you..."
I spent forever searching for something for her and came across a heart-shaped gold locket. I had an 'A' engraved into the front and put a tiny picture of us kissing in it. Allie loves taking pictures. It means a lot to her because after her parents died, she realized that there were only a few pictures of her and her brother with them.
Penelope took that picture of us. Penelope and Luke came over to have a movie night with Allie and I.
"Spencer, this..." She smiles down at it. "This is gorgeous. Thank you."
Allie takes the necklace out of the box and holds it out to me. "Will you put it on me?"
I give her a tiny smile and nod, taking it from her.
She turns around and holds her hair up for me, letting me put the necklace on her.
After I'm finished, she turns around. It looks gorgeous on her, hanging perfectly off of her neck.
She's so beautiful. Her face is void of makeup, revealing the light freckles that I love so much... and her hair hangs down just past her shoulders in loose waves.
"I love it," Allie wraps her arms around me, giving me a big squeeze. "Thank you."
I squeeze her back, laughing. "You're welcome. I'm glad you like it."
She leaves, even though I really wanted her to stay. I knew that she had to get up early to pick up Rachel from the airport. The truck is going to be coming in at around noon, and they'll unload from there.
Ten minutes after she leaves, I get a text message from her.
Allie: hi, i'm home safe. i love you so much!!
I smile at the message and wonder what her apartment looks like. I hope I'll see it one day.
Me: Good! Sweet dreams, Allie cat. I love you.
She responds within a few seconds.
Allie: 'Allie cat' huh? cute. i like it. sweet dreams, Spence!
The weekend goes by with a few text messages from Allie every here and there. We talk before bed on Saturday. On Sunday night, I get a call from her at ten minutes past midnight.
"Hey," I answer happily.
"Hi," My girlfriend says with a tiny sigh. "This weekend sucked. My body hurts so bad."
"Well, your body still would have been hurting had you been over here," I joke, letting out a small chuckle.
"Oh, my god. I hate you," She laughs. "Anyway, I called to let you know that I have some rehearsals this weekend and Rachel will probably want to do stuff, so... I might not be able to spend the whole weekend with you. However, I did keep Sunday night open for dinner at Rossi's."
"Aw, I'm gonna miss you..." I fake a whine.
Allie just chuckles and I imagine her rolling her eyes. "Oh, poor you! No hot sex for another weekend. Whatever will you do?"
"Waste away, probably," I snicker, running my hand through my hair. "No, that's alright. Jennifer wanted me to watch the boys on Saturday while she and Will have a date night, so I'll get to hang out with them for a little bit."
"Well, that's good!"
"So, rehearsals... Is this for the winter musical you invited me to?"
"Mhm, I find out what role I got tomorrow. And we have our first rehearsal on Saturday." She blows out a small sigh. "I miss you...a lot."
"I miss you, too..."
"Well, back to the grind tomorrow. I'm exhausted, so... I'm gonna go to sleep. I love you, Spence."
My heart flutters every time she says it. She doesn't have to hold back and it just comes naturally from both of us.
"I love you, Allie-cat. I'll see you tomorrow."
"See you tomorrow,"
Monday morning comes quicker than I'd like it to. I set everything up for the lesson and take a seat at my desk. When Allie comes in, I'm thrilled to see her. She's got a black wrap-style skirt on that falls just at her mid-thigh, a 'Girl Power!' shirt and a purple and pink knit cardigan with pink hearts as buttons. The colorful piece I've seen before, she used to wear it before she changed up her style. It's nice to see more of her colorful clothing coming back. Maybe it means she's in a better mindset. Maybe she's happier now that I've told her I love her.
Rachel walks in right behind her and I'm instantly jealous, feeling my stomach do twists and turns.
"Hello," I greet her, trying to be polite. I grab my roster off of my desk. "I wasn't expecting a new student-"
"Oh, I'm not taking this class. I was just gonna ask if you knew where room three hundred is?"
"Head right out of here, staircase E is on the left. Go up those stairs and it'll be the first room on your right,"
"Thanks! Catch you later, Al!" Rachel gives her a playful shove before turning and heading out the door.
I shove my hands in my pockets and look back at Allie.
"You're jealous," She says quietly.
I scoff and pick up the dry erase marker from my desk, turning to the whiteboard to finish writing down the information for today's lesson. "I'm not jealous," I tell her with a shrug.
"Hey," Allie says, getting me to turn around.
When I look at her, she's playing with the locket around her neck. She looks back at me with a reassuring smile. She mouths an 'I love you' before turning and heading to find her seat, just in time for some other students to come in.
I smile to myself and continue writing on the board.
-
"I got it! I got it!" Allie says through happy laughter. It's so loud that I almost have to pull my phone away from my ear. "I got the part of Mimi!"
I smile, looking over at my team. They're sat around Emily's living room, taking a look at yet another case that Barnes wouldn't approve. I stepped into the kitchen, only a few feet away to take Allie's call.
"That's so great, baby," I tell her quietly. "It's Rent, you said? I've never seen it."
"Mhm," My girlfriend hums. "It's great. We can watch the movie together or you can just wait and see."
"I'll wait and see," I chuckle. "I've gotta go. I'll talk to you later, okay?"
"Okay, I love you."
"I love you, too," I say just above a whisper.
We say goodbye and hang up. When I turn back around, I notice everyone staring at me. Luke and Penelope have knowing smiles on their lips, but everyone else just seems confused.
"So, you're seeing someone and you haven't told us about it?" Emily raises an eyebrow at me, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips.
"I...We have some work to get done-" I start, heading to sit back down in my spot on the couch.
"Ah, ah, ah!" Rossi scolds. "We can spare two minutes to hear about it."
"Come on, Spence," JJ gives me a reassuring smile. "I mean, we've all noticed that you're happier lately."
Everyone nods in assent and a blush takes over my cheeks. "I..." I start but end up losing my words before I even have them. My anxiety over this is reeling its ugly head.
What are they gonna think?
I know that I told Allie it didn't matter to me what they thought, but at the same time... I don't wanna be looked at differently by my colleagues.
There's nothing wrong with dating Allie.
Except that she's my student.
Except that she's nearly half my age.
Except that I worked a case involving her five years ago.
Come on, Spencer. You love her. You're in love with her.
"Can we just...can we get on with this case?" I shake my head. "I'll tell you guys later."
Emily nods, handing me a case file.
"Almost six years ago, there was a family annihilator making his way across the Midwest," Emily starts. "Penelope, Rossi, JJ, Reid, you might remember this case."
My heart drops and Penelope and I exchange worried looks.
"He disappeared after killing Maria and Christopher Taylor. Their children, Joshua and Alexandria Taylor managed to hide from him until the BAU and the local P.D. arrived at the scene," Emily continues.
"We're sure it's not a copy cat?" Luke asks, looking up at Emily with concern in his eyes.
She nods. "He removed their eyes. We never released that detail to the public..."
"Where were the last victims?"
"D.C.," JJ says. "And I think I know why. Rossi and I were giving a presentation during Spence's class and we ran into Alexandria. It turns out she and her brother moved in with their closest living relative, their aunt Victoria...who lived here in D.C."
"He's trying to take care of his unfinished business? You think he'll target Alexandria and Joshua?" Tara asks no one in particular.
"This guy is a narcissist. He won't stop trying until they're both dead," Rossi sighs, running a hand through his hair.
Feeling my heart thud in my chest, I hop out of my seat again, pulling my phone from my pocket. I dial Allie's number and press send. It rings out once, then, again and again, making me increasingly frustrated and terrified.
Not again. Not again. I can't lose someone again. I can't lose Allie...
"Spencer, Spencer!" I feel a hand on my shoulder. I'm turned to see Emily. "What's going on?"
"Emily, I..." I sigh, feeling tears building up in my eyes. "I've been seeing Alexandria."
"Reid..."
The tears start falling down my cheeks. "If I lose her... If he gets to her-"
"He won't," Emily puts her hands on my shoulders. "Spencer, we won't let that happen."
"It's just gonna be the same thing that happened with Maeve..." I sob. "I can't do it, Emily. I can't lose Allie, too. I can't I..."
My phone starts ringing in my hand. Allie's photo and her name pop up.
"Allie?" I ask, holding the phone up to my ear.
"Hey, I was in the shower, but you kept calling. What's going on? Are you okay?" Her voice rings through my ear, making me feel a little bit more at ease.
"God, you're okay..." I sigh out.
"Of course I am. Why wouldn't I be okay?"
"Allie, I need you to call your brother and the two of you need to come to the address that I'm gonna text you, okay?"
"Spencer, what's going on?" She asks me, worry lacing her voice. "You're scaring me."
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Everything is gonna be okay, just...follow my instructions, okay?"
"Spencer?" She asks again. "What is it?"
"The person who killed your parents just killed again in D.C.," I run a hand through my hair. "He's going to come after you and your brother and... I need you safe."
"Okay, okay...um, text me the address and I'll leave right away." I can hear some sniffles coming from her end. "And Spencer? In case anything happens-"
"Nothing is going to happen to you, I promise," I say, but it's more to reassure myself that she'll be okay.
"In case," Allie says again. "I love you so much, okay?"
"I love you, I love you. I'll see you when you get here."
When we hang up, I text her Emily's address. When I turn around, all eyes are on me.
"Alright, Spencer. Tell us everything," Rossi gestures to my seat.
I let out a tiny sigh and head for it, sitting down and staring at my phone. "What do you wanna know?"
"She's your student, Spence," JJ looks at me in disbelief. I look down at my lap, listening to her. "Do you know how much trouble both of you could get in if you're caught?" She asks. "And...how do you know she's not doing this so you'll bump her grades up?"
I scoff and roll my eyes at her, getting up out of my chair. "Bump her grades? I...I can't believe you'd even say that, Jennifer. Allie has never asked about her grades. She doesn't even talk about class when we're together."
"Spencer, she's what? Sixteen years younger than you?" Matt looks up at me. "I mean-"
"It doesn't matter-"
He starts up again, cutting me off. "It just seems a little bit-"
"Whatever it 'seems like', it's not. Alright?" I cross my arms, pacing the floor. "It's not taboo, it's not for her to boost her grades. She...she loves me, you guys. She told me she did and... I couldn't even say it back to her."
"You couldn't?" Emily asks, taking a seat on the arm of the couch.
"No, not at first. Because of Maeve, because of everything that happened. I was...I was terrified. She got upset when I didn't say it back, but... that was before she knew why. And after she knew why, she understood. She never pushed me to say it to her. I said it for the first time on Friday..."
"You said it!?" Penelope asks happily, knowing that I'd been struggling with it. "Spencer, you said it!"
We exchange a smile and I nod.
"You knew?" JJ asks her, looking a little bit upset.
"I mean, I found out by accident... Luke and I went over to Spencer's for a movie night and Allie was there."
"Luke knew, too?" The blonde looks over at me.
"And Derek sort of found out by accident, too," Garcia adds.
"Derek isn't even on the team anymore and he knows! Spence," JJ sighs, running a hand through her hair. "Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you tell us?"
I roll my eyes and shake my head. She really doesn't see it? The way she just reacted when I told her?
This is what I was worried about.
"Come on, guys, chill-" Luke starts, but I cut him off.
"JJ, would you think about how you just reacted to me telling you? Don't you understand that I was avoiding a response like that? That is why I didn't tell you!" I shout at her.
Her expression sinks and I immediately feel bad for raising my voice.
Emily walks off, leaving the rest of us alone.
"Spence...I didn't mean-" Jennifer starts again.
"No, of course you didn't," I tell her, shaking my head. "The one time that I'm finally happy, you find something wrong with it. You find something to criticize about it. You know what? It doesn't matter what you think or what anyone thinks. I'm happy with Allie and I love her, alright?"
It's then that I feel a hand touch mine and look behind me to see Allie. She stares up at me with her big brown eyes. They're bloodshot and her cheeks are stained with tears. She's been crying for a while, probably since I called her.
"Hi," I breathe out, pulling her into a hug.
"Josh won't answer his phone," She says into my shoulder. "He won't answer, Spence. What if-"
"We'll find him, Allie. We will," I assure her.
"What's his number? I can ping it," Penelope chimes in.
Allie pulls away from me and gets her phone out, reading off the number to Penelope.
-
"So, what now?" Allie asks me when we sit down, waiting for Emily to call about if she found Josh. "I can't go to work, I can't go to school, I can't stay at my own apartment because he probably knows I'll be there. I...I can't take off work until you guys find this guy. I have bills to pay, I can't-"
"Hey, shh..." I rest my hands on her shoulders. "It'll be okay. You can stay with me until we find him. I'll take care of you until we find him."
My cell phone rings just as Allie is about to protest and I pull it out of my pocket. Emily.
"Hello?" I answer. Allie watches my expression closely.
"We found him, he's alright. He was just at work away from his phone-"
"He's okay, Allie," I tell her and she gives me a half smile, then wraps her arms around me.
"Thank you," She says into my chest.