I'm trying to rush but I know it's impossible. I know it's rude to be in the bathroom so long while the rest of them are out there playing host to our wonderful guest Stella, but it's imperative that I look my best.
I try to convince myself that it's not because I feel threatened because someone with really close ties to Wonho has suddenly shown up, but fail.
Damn, you kissed once and you already think you own his ass!
I shoo away the thought away as I finish changing. I had to pick something classy but casual, sophisticated in a 'I didn't have to try' kind of look. Cuter than her in her dainty dress and obviously expensive jewelry.
I settle for the best I can think of in the little time that I have, but also something that cover up the giant eyesore that is the bandage from the Shattered Table Incident; ending up with a blue and white striped T-Shirt tucked into ripped black skinny jeans to accent my long legs, with a formal black suit jacket over my shirt. Upon further inspection in the mirror and a thorough brushing of my teeth, I see my hair is a lost cause and just slide my favorite white hat over the pigsty that is my head.
After giving myself one last onceover in the mirror, I open the door a crack and see what's going on.
Minhyuk and Shownu are sitting at the table with Stella, while Wonho is in the kitchen, looking like he is brewing something to drink, glasses out and ready.
I sigh, taking a deep breath, and exit the bathroom.
Minhyuk smiles at me and Shownu waves as I approach. Stella just stares at me, not breaking the gaze until I reach the kitchen.
What's sad is that she's even more beautiful up close.
Big, beautiful Korean eyes sit on a pretty, clear-skinned face with perfectly proportioned lips. The lips tug at my self-conscience for some reason, showing familiarity to someone else, but I can't figure it out.
She's skinny under her ulzzang style dress, her legs crossed with dainty shoes attached to her feet. I bet she even has a thigh gap.
She stands up when I get to her. I don't know if it's just my suspicious mind, but she seems to be enjoying some private inside joke in her head that I don't know the context to.
"Hi," I say politely. I know it's not necessary to bow, but my Korean habits force me to slightly do so as I shake her hand lightly.
"Hello, I'm Stella." Shit. Even her voice is pretty.
I knew I was no match for her before I even found out that I was in a competition.
"It's nice to meet you," I reply, letting go of her hand.
"I've heard such good things." She smiles as she says this, again, seeming to be enjoying some inside joke about me in her head.
Did... Did I do something wrong? Have we met before? Did you hear about it from Wonho?
I feel myself start to panic... what did Wonho say? I find myself wanting to know how he feels because his behavior has been so back and forth that I have no idea.
"Probably only bad things," I trail off forcing a mile onto my face. "I'm sure you know Wonho likes to joke like that." I want her to know that I know my place and I know hers. If she's really.. Dating him, then I have no place to interrupt that, no matter the wayward feelings I have.
"Oh no," she says, another slick smile on her face, shaking her head.
Now this is just weird. I'm wondering how to respond when Wonho sets down a glass of tea on the table in front of the seats close to us, smiling and gesturing for us to sit down.
Stella and I sit as he goes out to collect the remaining glasses.
I just have a bad feeling about this girl, Stella. I don't want to dislike her, I think, looking at her discreetly and noticing her shy aura. Maybe be she's serious and did hear good things about me! Maybe she's just smiling because she flabbergasted that Wonho even has any real friends... who knows, so I shouldn't be so quick to judge her wrongly just because Wonho has never mentioned her and they're obviously close. Not to mention that she knew where we were staying, so he had to have mentioned it to her.
I think back to earlier. Wonho had opened the door right at that moment and strolled to the door. That probably means that he knew she was coming and was ready. So why would he invite her without telling us? I tell myself that I'm being dramatic, that really he doesn't owe us anywhere near that after this trip, but it keeps sticking into my head. Why would he be so nervous about the appearance of his hair, the room, us?
As much as I hate to admit it, the facts all point to the idea that Stella is his girlfriend.
I swallow back the conversation I had been planning in my head to share with Wonho about...What had happened. What should have never happened.
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"So how did you guys meet anyways?" Stella asks.
It's about a half an hour later, and we're just sitting together at the table drinking tea and talking. Things I've learned in that time: a.) Stella and Wonho have known each other a long time. Like, LONG. Stella has shared stories on stories of childhood Wonho that only firsthand experience could merit, b.) they get along really well, and Wonho must like her because he's touchy feely with her too (I had to force myself to relax my hands after she rubbed his back, touch familiar and possessive, and remind myself that Wonho doesn't belong to me and that he's old enough to make his own choices and let what he wants, happen), and c.) Wonho did and didn't know that she was coming. Stella told him that she was coming and he tried to convince her out of it, in fact, had her convinced. But she changed her mind and came anyways.
"Well," Minhyuk says. "The basics." He laughs nervously and gazes at us three.
Ha. I bet he doesn't want to share the fact that he invited himself on this trip... But if I'm being honest, I don't want to share that I'm accepting the free ride too just because of circumstance.
But Wonho comes to the rescue as always. "Oh, you know. Just mutual friend group. We've been planning this for awhile now."
"That's great! Are you enjoying it?" Stella looks so interested, her voice holding a tenor of something resembling amusement. But why would she be amused?
The rest of the conversation just passes in a blur, my thoughts overcoming all reality.
The only time I even focus once was towards the end. Stella was asking each of us some personal questions, some I really didn't want to answer, but started to anyways so I wouldn't look rude. Before I got the chance to answer, Wonho discreetly slid his hand onto my thigh and squeezed, stopping the words about to come out of my mouth.
He did a suave cover up, asking Stella if it was really necessary to give us the third degree.
My heart thumps as Wonho leaves his hand on my thigh. I gulps as I struggle not to look down at his hand, knowing everyone would notice.
If that's his girlfriend, why is his hand on my thigh and not hers right next to him?
I muster up the courage to tap his hand, detaching it gently from my thigh, and placing it back in his own lap. I feel him look at me, but I ignore his gaze, looking straight ahead at an imaginary point on the back wall.
That's how I stay the remainder of the time that Stella is there. I speak only when spoken to.
It isn't until Stella leaves that I break the trance and finally get up.
MInhyuk gives Stella a hug, sending her away with a wave. Shownu bows slightly, Stella returning it back to him. The two head back the direction of the bedroom, and a moment later, I hear the faint noises of the television.
Stella and I face each other.
"It was very nice to meet you," she says, sounding actually sincere.
"I agree." I respond, and we shake hands.
What are we? Middle aged men? Why couldn't I do a more normal goodbye like Minhyuk and Shownu and just wave or bow or give her a hug?
"Goodbye," I manage to say, and exit the room. Goodbye Stella. I hope to never see you again.
But then I remember that I left my glass of tea in the kitchen and my stomach is starting to feel a bit upset. I start to go get it, and then stop myself.
Are you sure you really want to see what's going on in there?
I shake away the thought. This is my hotel too, and if I want to get my own damn glass of tea off of the table from the same room that my crush and his girlfriend are probably making out in, I will!
As I round the corner to the kitchen, I hear their voices in a heated conversation and I pause. I'm about to duck away because it seems personal, but then I hear: "There's really nothing between us, Stella. Do you really think I'm gay?"
I struggle not to gasp. Is he.. Is he talking about me? I'm hoping and praying that he isn't because then everything has to change. And is he not gay? Then why did he even kiss me in the first place?
As much as I try to stop it, my anger boils up.
"I don't know, Wonho. I just know about your past-"
"That was one time!"
".. and I've heard the way you talk about him. If you don't like him, you're really sending the wrong signals." Stella's voice sounds hard and unmoving, but I actually agree with her.
Is he doing this all as some conquest? As some kind of joke or bet revolving around me?
I turn away and head for the bedroom, ready to pack my stuff.