❝Big girls cry when their heart is breaking❞
- Sia, Big Girls Cry.
When I got home, I couldn't help it and the tears that had been threatening to fall since I saw River kiss another girl, fell and even streamed down my face. Nothing had made me feel so hurt like this before. I threw myself on my bed and cried.
After the sight, I'd walked back to the counter and tried to keep from crying. I couldn't explain how hurt I felt. I thought he felt the same way got me. I could bet he did. What about those kisses? Did they even mean anything to him? Was he just messing with me? Now, I saw Kaleb's point. River had been kissing me, yes. He had spent so much time with me and made me feel like I was the only girl in the world, but he never actually told me how he felt. He could as well have been doing that with other girls, only that with me, it felt so genuine, but something told me the girl he kissed earlier was his girlfriend. I felt the tears rush out even more.
Why hadn't he told me he had someone? Why did he keep spending so much time with me? Why did-
"Renée," I heard Tanner call and a knock follow.
I sniffed and quickly wiped off my tears. He knocked again and I managed to get out a 'come in.'
He opened the door and poked his head in, "Dinner's ready. Come on."
I shook my head, "I... I'm not hungry."
"What? Why?"
He entered the room, closing the door behind him, "Sweetie?"
I turned to look at him but I couldn't.
"Why wouldn't you eat?" He asked. "What's wrong?"
I shook my head again and felt my eyes well up with tears.
"You can't lie to me. I know something's wrong. What is it?"
By this time, he was right in front of me. I opened my mouth to say something but nothing would come out, so I just hugged him and cried while he wrapped his arms around me, patting my back softly.
*****
I felt the sun on my face and heard Kaleb say, "What the... did you forget it is a school day today? How on earth are you still asleep?!"
My eyes fluttered open to see that Kaleb had opened my windows, and I rolled my eyes then closed them back, snuggling into my covers. They weren't closed for long because Kaleb had now placed his hands on my ankles and he started dragging me off the bed.
"Kaleb, stop," I groaned, but he laughed annoyingly. "Kaleb, I said stop it!" I yelled.
He instantly released my ankles and I put my pillow over my face.
"Rae, it's time for school," he pulled the pillow away from my face and I sat up immediately, grabbing my phone, "Kaleb... it's Saturday today."
His eyes went wide, "It is?"
I showed him my phone. "Yes. It is. Now you can leave me alone and let me get back to sleep."
"Don't you have to work today? Besides," he plopped down beside me on the bed, "Why are you so grumpy this morning?"
"Nothing," I answered curtly before laying back down and facing the other side.
He didn't say anything, therefore, making the room so silent. When I was tired of the silence, I sighed before turning to face him.
"Ready to talk now?' He asked me.
I nodded, " Remember how you're helping me get River to notice me?"
"Yeah," his eyebrows furrowed, "There were meant to be two more steps for if he didn't notice you, but since he already did-"
"Yeah, let's just forget about all of it," I said softly, and he looked like he took some time to process what I had said.
"W- What do you mean?" His looked at me intently.
"I- I saw him kiss another girl yesterday."
"No way..." Kaleb said after a while and I nodded, "Now, I see what you were talking about yesterday. I... I just thought you know," I sniffed. "That maybe he felt the same way I felt for him."
"Don't cry," he said, sitting up as he pulled me to sit up too, before giving me a hug.
I shrugged, "I feel so hurt..."
"Yeah, I know you do, but Rae, this is where step two will have to come in."
I shook my head, "No... I'm not doing this anymore."
"Hold on, and listen to me," he took off his jacket, "So, the first step was to be there. The second step is, not be there."
I looked at him, not saying a word.
"He's already used to you. Even if he might have never felt anything for you, he'll actually start to miss you when you're not there."
That made sense.
"Well, how do I not be there?" I tucked my hair behind my ear.
"Good. Its simple. Just don't be there. You used to go meet him after work, don't go. Just come home. You used to get him his usual stuff to drink, don't do it. You could ask someone else to do it."
"Well, what if he comes to meet me? He does that."
"Stay polite. If he comes to you, be civil. Being civil, you'll create distance. Trust me, he'll notice."
"What will I do without you, Kaleb Kaden?"
"A lot," he answered. "Just that you'd miss my presence," he chuckled. "And hey, do you have to be at work today?"
"Nope," I shook my head.
"Great. Hey, how about we go to my house. You know, FIFA?" He wiggled his eyebrows.
I smiled lightly, "Madden, you mean."
*****
Tanner eyed me as Kaleb and I ate French toasts out of a plate. I knew he was worried about me. I'd never told him what was wrong.
"Tanner, you're like the best guy cook I know," Kaleb stated, looking at my brother who playfully bowed, a smile on his face as he said, " Thank you. I take pride in my cooking. Besides, I had to learn to cook. If not, me and Renée would have starved."
Kaleb laughed, "I can imagine a younger Rae," he squished my cheeks. "So cute."
I slapped his hand away, chewing on my toast.
"Kaleb, what's wrong with Renée?" Tanner asked.
Kaleb knew I hadn't told Tanner about River yet, so he said, "I think it's just that time of the month for her. She's emotional and cranky."
Why did guys actually assume that when a girl was angry, she was on her period?
I knew Tanner wasn't buying any of it, not just because of the look on his face, but because, he could just tell. He started to say something, but Kaleb interrupted, because he knew Tanner didn't believe him.
"Don't worry. Rae will be good. We're going to my house to play Madden and I know just how to make her feel better."
*****
"... She used to meet me on the Eastside, in the city where the sun don't set..." Kaleb sang to the blasting music in the car, and I knew exactly what he was doing.
We'd been obsessed with the song, Eastside for weeks. We loved the song and knew the words by heart. I knew he was trying to get me sing along with him. And oh God, I really wanted to.
"... Baby, you know I just wanna leave tonight. We can go anywhere we want. Drive down to the coast, jump in the seat. Just take my hand and come with me, yeah..." He grinned at me and I smiled widely before bursting with excitement as I screamed to the chorus with him,
"We can do anything if we put our minds to it. Take your whole life then you put a line through it. My love is yours if you're willing to take it, give me your heart, 'cause I ain't gonna break it..." We continued singing on top of our lungs and I found myself getting lost in the music as I was gradually starting to feel like myself again.
By the time the song ended, me and Kaleb were smiling like maniacs, and the next song came on. We sang to it, goofy grins on our faces. I could never be grateful enough for a best friend like this idiot beside me. He could make my bad days good, and my good days even better.
Kinda like River always did.
I missed him, and I wondered what he was up to. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and I took it out and was surprised to see he was the one just calling. I waited for the call to slide before putting my phone away.
Kaleb pulled up to his house and we got down.
"I'm so excited about playing Madden," I stated as I started to race into the house. Behind me, Kaleb chuckled and started running too.
I got into the house and Phoebe sat in the living room. She looked surprised when she saw me and I wondered why, but I greeted, "Hi Phoebe! I hope you're fine!" I raced up the stairs, hearing Kaleb greet his mom as well.
His mom started to say something, but Kaleb was long gone.
I opened the door to his room and stopped immediately when I saw Sydney seated cross-legged on Kaleb's bed.
●
Dont forget to vote, comment and follow me!