I watched in awe as a coffin was brought to rest on the table in front of the congregation. I looked at my siblings but none of them looked back. We were still lost in the magnitude of the event. I looked around me at the women who were crying and the men dabbing their eyes. A particular woman was wailing as shouting to whoever cares to hear how unfair the world is.
"Praise the Lord" the voice of the pastor pulled my attention away from the woman's drama and I listened attentively to his speech. He had a way of convincing people about the positive side of death but it seemed to make the people cry more. A faint sob distracted me and I looked at where it came from. Dara held onto her mum as she sobbed onto her laps.
Her mum seemed to be consoling her as she patted her back and mouthed some words to her. I looked at Martin and tried to capture his gaze to speak with him but he seemed to be lost in his own world. Kingsley also had his attention on the woman from before who had already began pacing. I wanted to know how the situation was affecting either of them but it seemed this isn't the time.
The congregation stood up and began lining up to look into the coffin. I wondered what could be so special that made everyone gasp or sob more the instant they looked into it. The coffin looked beautiful and I wondered. Was it full of treasures ? Why are they crying then ? Is it too beautiful to behold ?
My step-mom jarred me from behind bringing me to my feet. It was our turn. As we walked past, people began to shake their heads and say soothing words.
"God will take care of you". One woman said coming to pull us into a hug. What is she saying ? Of course, God takes care of us before. I wriggled myself out of her lasting embrace as it began to get awkward but she pulled me back in and began praying. I became uncomfortable as I held my breath as my nose was squashed under her armpit. I began to regret pulling away at first. This unpleasant odor is really a punishment.
I gasped for air as my step-mom pulled us away from her. "People are waiting ma".
"oh sorry, sorry" she released us patting our head one more time before leaving. I could so hug my step-mom right now. I thought I was going to die. My other siblings, the other children my dad had joined us in the queue as we proceeded,each child with his or her mother. Like us they were also gloomy and clueless. The crying seemed to dull our spirits, and we could only blend in to the situation.
The closer we got to the coffin, the more beautiful the coffin looked to me. It was made of whit and gold corals and it's beauty captivated me. I'm sure the treasures in it must be as beautiful as its outside. The boys were in the lead and I looked at Martins face to see his expression, maybe he could hint me before it got to my turn. Martin's climbed a stool provided for us and looked into it.
His face seemed to freeze and then he looked frightened as he looked back up at his mum who pulled him away. The same expression was on the rest of my siblings face making me wonder. Dara busted into tears when she looked in and shouted "Daddy !!! ". I became confused. She held on to the coffin as they tried to pry her away from it. As if her tears were a reminder, the whole congregation began to wail again.
Daddy ? Why will my daddy be inside ? They said he has gone to heaven. Why is he inside this beautiful treasure chest ?
My legs became heavy as I moved closer. I wondered what my own expression will be. Will my daddy get up and beat me ? The woman behind me nudged me. "Go on". I looked up at her. She was a church member
Is this woman okay ? Why is she pushing me ? I stepped out of the line for her to move forward but she wasn't having it. She held my shoulder and pulled me back into the line.
"Where do you think you are going ? " she nudged me forward "Move". I dragged my feet slowly till I got to the coffin. I climbed the stool closing my eyes before slowly opening my eyes. My breathe ceased as I looked at my dad's lifeless face. His face was so clean and looked so white. He had cotton stuck into his nostrils. I swallowed as I looked at him. He looked so weak and powerless. I felt my body in the air and didn't know I was carried yet until my feet touched the ground and I staggered to balance myself.
I stood where I was placed until someone came to take my hands and walk me to my seat. My daddy is dead. The words kept ringing in my head like it was being registered. I looked up again and everything began to feel like a haze. I became weak, I didn't know what to feel, I didn't know how to react. I didn't realize everyone was getting up again till my mum came to me and pulled me up.
She noticed how faint I looked and squatted down in front of me holding my face in her hands. "It's going to be okay" she looked at my unresponsive face before shaking me.
"Do you hear me ? ". I nodded slowly, I didn't know what to say.
"Let's go, you have to pour sand into your dads grave".
Then it dawned on me, what happens to people's dead bodies. " where will they put daddy ? "
She looked at me taking my hands in hers as we began walking down with others. "He will be laid to rest in the ground, it is called a grave"
But why can't my daddy sleep in the house with us. They are meant to put him in his room. He would be in pain in the ground.
"Mummy why can't they put daddy In his room ? ". She smiled.
"you can't put a corpse in the room, his body is going to rot and he will smell a lot".
"rot ? You mean decay like spoilt food ? ". She nodded "yes".
I was shaken to my bones, how does it feel like for someone's body to rot ? We got to the grave after sometime and everyone gathered around. The pastor began his admonitions and preaching. I couldn't help but stare into the hole on the ground. The pit looked bottomless and I was scared my dad will keep falling forever like the devil I read in the Bible.
I watched the men tie the coffin to the pole making it hang in the air. The people began to sing hymns as the ropes were untied and the coffin let down slowly into the hole. My heart began to beat as the coffin kept going lower. Eventually, the ropes were removed and my heart sunk. Was the coffin still falling. Why did nobody seem worried ?
One by one, my daddy's wives went to the grave and picked up a shovel, with the shovel they packed a bit of sand and poured it into the hole. With each thud of the pack of sand, my heart thudded.
"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust... " the pastor kept repeating as each person went forward. Eventually the turn of the children came and I was to go first as the eldest. I moved forward and the shovel was placed in my hands. I couldn't do it. I don't know why but my whole body began to shake, my eyes began to water and I began to sob heavily.
As if my siblings were waiting for me to lead them on, they began to cry also. A man came towards me and held my hands assisting me to pack sand into the shovel. I began to resist and cry bitterly. "Nooooo ! N...oo...ooo !!! " Eventually he had his way and pulled me closer to the grave I was scared to go to and I saw my dad's coffin resting safely at the bottom as the sand landed on it.
The waterworks in my eyes began to malfunction as I couldn't control my tears again. The car was filled with mourning as we all cried till we got home with no one consoling us. My step mum and mama also kept dabbing their eyes and wiping their tears. That night could be known as the mourning period because no one thought of food. Even Charles cried himself to sleep. There was no light that night and no one talked about the generator as we all brooded in the corner of our rooms.
The months passed by and gradually we became used to not seeing my dad around, regular activities began and mama took charge of everything including the children of my dad down to the panties we wore. Somehow though, the burden of catering for us began to bug my step-mom as she became harsher and unconcerned at the same time of most of our activities.
We got used to seeing a special man in our house who she went out with always. Most times, this man will bring packages and new clothes for Dara which I wasn't allowed to wear. Other times he takes Dara and Charles out and came back with them later in the night. The rest of us got used to ignoring them and locking ourselves in our playrooms whenever he was around.
Eventually her plans for us came through and mama agreed to her plea for us to move to boarding house. I was excited the day I heard about it and went into my room to thank God in prayers . Finally I was going to leave this house and explore the world. God does answer prayers. I began to pack my favorite things into the box we were given two days later. My Bible was the first thing to go in, followed by my favourite clothes.
The boys were sad about the turn of events as they hadn't finished primary school yet and the school we were going to was an only girls college.
"I am really happy for you, I wish I can follow you".Martin Said as he sat down on the bed watching me pack.
I stopped and looked at him "you don't have to be sad. Dont worry I will come home very soon. And one Day you will also get to leave this place"
"Amen" Kingsley added glumly.
"We aren't going yet anyway, we still have a month to stay at home"
Dara came in then. "Ruth, mummy is calling you".
I followed her out of the room and we went into her mum's room. I smiled as I saw a lot of goodies on the ground. It sure felt good to leave home. There were tons of provisions divided into two places on the ground. Most of what I haven't seen before, giant sized Milo, cornflakes, milk, custard and so on.
"Will you come inside and stop staring". I quickly closed the door and came in. Dara was smiling also, sitting on the bed.
"Both of you will go and meet mama and appreciate her for these provisions. She provided them for your stay at the boarding house. You have everything here, down to tissue papers." go and thank mama first before going to arrange this in your boxes.
My joy knew no bounds that day. I had never seen so much goodies meant for only me before. Finally I was going to be free. I bounded out of the room with Dara to mama's place.
Yes, I am going to be free !!!!