Amaris
I wake up to a continuous soft caress alongside my face. My eyes flutter open and after a few slow blinks, adjust to my surroundings. A young woman sits next to me, humming gently. Her striking blue eyes look so much like Felix's, but they aren't hard and fierce like his. These are kind eyes. If it wasn't for her dark hair and similar facial features, I'd doubt there could be any relation to that asshole and her beautiful eyes were just coincidental in color.
I must have slept through the entire night given the bright rays of sun light streaming in through a window. I try to sit up but my body doesn't want to work. I tighten my eyes and shake my head a couple of times while recalling all the events that happened last night.
The covers shift next to me. "Shhh. Don't try to sit up. You're really weak right now," the girl says. She brings a warm, damp cloth to my face and gently wipes it over the entirety of my face and neck. At least she's a lot more gentle than that evil shit Maye. I wonder if she and Lena made it out of there before Kwa—
My brain stutters momentarily as I get a rush of more shit that went down last night. How could I even forget any of it?!
Kwan... that bastard stabbed me! I immediately try to reach for the wound on my back but I fail miserably. I just don't have the strength to push my body up or even maneuver my limbs around.
"My back," I murmur, "how bad is it?" I look at the girl next to me, hoping she has the answer I want. Even just a tiny bit of hope that there isn't permanent damage would suffice. Instead, she gives me a sad smile. Or is it a pitying one?
The pessimism starts marching a beat through my mind now. How much fucking worse can things get? I'd rather just die if every bad thing keeps getting slung my way.
"The wound is healing nicely..." she trails off. I feel as though there is a 'but' coming, "but," and there it is, "we don't know if you'll be able to walk again. Vlad has had a team of doctors and surgeons here seeing to you every day but they said they'd know more once you woke up." Once I woke up? A team of medical professionals here every day? But this was just last night...right?
The sensible part of my brain tells me more than just one night has passed, but the hopeful part is in denial. I can't be paralyzed. I was moving my legs as Felix dragged me. Wasn't I? I even sunk to my knees to beg for Dominic's life.
Or did Felix let my weight fall? Was he just dragging me without my legs helping keep me up? The more I think about it, the more uncertain I become.
I can't remember actually moving my feet. I do remember someone pressing on my back and I know I felt that.
The possibility that Felix had to drag me because I couldn't walk or run along with him, starts to weigh heavily on my mind. I want to hurt.. no.. kill Kwan. Slowly. No mercy until I'm satisfied with his pain and suffering being greater than mine.
Paralyzed.
It just can't happen to me.
I grind my teeth together so hard that my jaw begins to ache while I stew in silence. All the while, this girl stares at me in pity.
I ought to be ashamed of myself. Here I am worried more about myself when people died trying to come rescue me. The twins' father was murdered while he sat on his knees in surrender. I can't even imagine how many more of their crew died. I can't even believe that Vlad actually let my family and the rest of their crew leave alive.
My mind must be playing tricks on me because I swear I saw Adrian too, with a gun of all things, pointing at Vlad's guys. Whose side is he even on?
Once again, my mind goes back to wallowing in self pity. I'm so incredibly selfish to think of myself and my shitty situation, but I can't help it. I'm alive, for now at least, which is more than I can say for so many since I was dragged away from California.
I can't stand this, any of it. I want to go back to the night of graduation. I never would've gone out to celebrate if I knew my life would become a dumpster fire in a few weeks time, causing so much pain and suffering to others in the process.
A whirlwind of emotions start flowing through me, and as much as I don't want to cry anymore, I can't help the agonized sob that tears through me. As if every painful thought and every painful throb in my body can be expressed in one outcry, that was it. Almost like a primal release, trying to offer my body and mind some sort of brief reprieve.
I jolt, startled and not expecting the girl siting by my side to suddenly embrace me in a soft hug.
"Oh, honey," she says softly, "someone crying makes me want to cry too. I know that what's happened to you is unfair and Vlad has no right to keep you here," she wipes a few of my tears away with her fingertips. "I am going to do everything in my power to try and help you get back into tip top shape... and help you escape," she whispered the last part.
That draws my attention. No way can I trust her though. She spoke about Vlad too casually to be just some prisoner like me. "Who are you?" I hold eye contact with her, silently daring her to lie to me. With my luck, she's been told to try and trick me. Catch me up in another attempt at freedom. Not like I'll be able to do much in an attempt to flee if I am paralyzed.
"Anna," Felix suddenly appears and addresses her, "go on for a bit. I'll watch over the suka for a while." She clamps her lips together then nods once before she's up and scampering from the room, closing the door quietly behind her.
Felix inhales deeply, his eyes roaming over the equipment surrounding the bed I lie in and making a quick sweep over my still form, settling on my eyes.
If he comes close enough, he's overdue for a big wad of spit plastering his face, consequences be damned.
"I see you've woken up finally," he says, not taking a step toward me yet, "I must say, my little sister has taken a liking to you."
I say nothing to him. I just watch and wait. When will he taunt or attack me? Surely he isn't going to start being civil with me.
He continues, "Don't be foolish enough to think you can persuade her to do you any special favors though. She fears Vlad way too much to cross him. You'd only waste time and piss me off if you think you can manipulate her." He finally closes the distance and takes a seat next to my bed. My mouth pools with saliva, anticipating the opportunity to launch a nice spit rocket in his face.
But the wary look on his face has me swallowing the pool of saliva down. Is he unsure of... me?
I watch as he peruses over my broken body. A line forms between his brows then his hand flies out, lifting the edge of the sheet. My own hand reaches out and slaps his away. I have only a millisecond of relief when I realize I can move my arms before Felix grunts out his disapproval.
"Don't," he warns, "I only want to check your injuries." Felix reaches for the sheet again slowly, pausing to look at me and lifts it up when he's sure I'm not going to swing again. Surprising me, he gently turns me over. I can't stop the groan that escapes, the pain is intense, like searing hot flames. This is a good sign though. I'll take the pain over what being numb would mean.
I bring both hands up to squeeze a pillow as he pulls back on the bandage. I feel like I might piss myself, it hurts that much. His palm is warm against my hip, another good sign. "The wound does look well. No sign of infection," he covers my wound back up and eases my body back to a supine position.
I'm panting, the pain making me sweaty and breathless. No sooner than I'm on my back, Felix stands and rips the sheet off me fully. My eyes bug out and the cool air makes my skin prickle with goosebumps. I'm too stunned to even voice my discomfort. "Come. Let's try to stand."
Felix doesn't give me time to argue. He's grabbed a catheter bag I hadn't noticed yet -at least I won't piss myself- and maneuvers me into a sitting position so fast that the pain nearly makes me vomit. "Wait!" I cry out, "it hurts too much!" He sighs and lets go of me, my body flopping back down, causing more pain to ripple through. "Please stop!" I beg, while trying pathetically to right myself in the bed. I'm too weak to hold myself upright or to scoot around
Felix's frustrated features turn harsh, "You want to be a cripple huh? Is that what you want, suka?" he yells loudly then starts to pace the length of the room. I don't understand why he is so frustrated or mad when it isn't even him in this predicament. He reaches up and tugs his hair between both hands, before slumping his shoulders in defeat and returns to the chair next to my bed. He gazes at me and smiles softly. He's going to give me whiplash with his mood swings.
I didn't even notice the tears at first. Are they because I'm scared or because my back pain is even more excruciating with how I'm crumbled on the edge of the bed? Perhaps they are frustrated tears?
"Please don't cry. I'm not good at being a nice person," he rubs the back of his neck and looks away, "and it is my fault that you landed in Kwan's hands to begin with. Vlad said it is my duty to make sure you recover," he looks down then places his face in his hands. I'd feel bad for him if he wasn't such an asshole. "But I do want you to recover, suka." He leans over and puts my legs back on the bed and hangs the catheter back in place.
We sit in silence for a long while. A television has some rerun marathon going but I have no idea what it even is. I keep glancing sideways at Felix to try and gauge which personality is present but he's as still as stone.
My thoughts return to his sister. Why is she even here with these monsters? I guess it won't hurt if I ask him.
"Why is your sister here? She doesn't seem to be about... your lifestyle," I say, bracing myself for a smack or gun put in my face yet again.
Instead, he turns his face toward me and glares. Well, okay then. Better than being hit so I'll take all the glares. "It isn't any concern of yours. Don't worry about anything but getting back onto your feet suka." His lip twists into a fierce sneer. "Mark my words, if you don't get up and walk, soon at that, some 'accident' will occur," he air quotes, "and you will no longer be a problem I need to fix." He stands up and angrily storms out of the room. Looks like the prick personality was out to play.
I sigh loudly. So I just need to snap my fingers and erase being stabbed. Get up and have a perfect intact body without any sign of abuse or violence. Perfect.
I think of Anna again. Can I trust her? Can she really help me get out of here? Or would she just make everything worse for me if I drop my guard a little around her and see what she can actually do for me?