Addys POV
Demi's lips pressed roughly against mine, her tongue sliding against my bottom lip to ask for permission to enter, I giggle softly as I shake my head "no"
She pulls away from me, staring deep into my eyes, her once beautiful brown orbs are now black and full of rage, I bite down on my lip as I look down at my feet, the hair on the back of my neck sticking up as I feel her eyes on me.
"So that's how you want to play huh?" She whispers against my ear, her hot breath sending shivers down my spine, before I know it she has a handful of my hair and she yanks my head back, I whimper softly, my mouth opening a bit, which is exactly what she wanted, she sees her chance and jumps at it.
Resuming to press her lips roughly against mine, her tongue circling around mine, I moan softly as my legs buckle a bit under me
Fuck this woman makes me a hormonal mess
She pulls away staring at me as she giggles softly
"Upstairs to my bedroom, now."
She commands
I nod my head quickly as I run up the steps and into her bedroom, I can hear my heartbeat in my chest as I see the doorknob turn, she walks in with nothing but a silk white robe on, her long messy curls, and lust in her eyes, her sight alone enough to make a soft moan slip from my lips.
She giggles as she stares at me up and down
"What should I do with you?" She questions, but immediately answers herself
"I've got an idea, undress now" she demands as she sits in the edge of the bed, crossing her legs, playing with the robe as she bites her lip, staring at me.
Panic engulfs me as I remember all the scars that cover my body, some from my past, but most from my own blade, some old, but some new
I look down at the ground and pull my long sleeves down to cover my hands as well as my eyes begin to water
She gets up quickly making her way over to me
"Hey.. hey.. shh.. I'm sorry, I'm sorry I asked this of you, it's too much, i understand, don't be scared okay? You don't have to do anything that you're not comfortable with, I'm sorry for scaring you Addy.."
I look up at her, tears slowly slipping down my cheeks as I nod..
"You don't scare me Demi.." I hiccup
"I just... I've been through a lot... I'm not scared of you, this has nothing to do with you okay..? Please don't feel bad.. I'm just not.. comfortable showing my body to anyone..
I'm not ready for this yet... I'm sorry.. if you want me to leave.. then I will.."
I bury my face in her neck, fuck, I just fucked this up, just like I fuck everything else up, she's going to see me as damaged goods now and want absolutely nothing to do with me, why would she want to wait around for me to be ready? Who do I think I am that I'm that special? I'm fucking pathetic..
"Baby.. please stop crying okay? It's okay, we don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with, okay? I would never force you to do anything you don't want. I'll wait for the day that you're ready, want to lay in bed and cuddle? Watch a film? Talk to me more about those house hippos of yours?" She says interrupting my thoughts, I compose myself enough to pull away and look at her, she's giving me the softest smile in the world, I feel so safe with her.
No, you can't feel safe with her Addy, everyone always fucks you over, she just wants something from you, once she has it, she'll walk out of your life like everyone else. Stop getting comfortable with her. Control yourself dammit.
She lifts my chin with her finger and softly kisses my forehead, as if she knew the internal battle I was having with myself.
"It'll be okay babygirl, you're safe here"
I weakly smile at her then she goes into the restroom and comes back out with pjs on, and lays in bed as she pulls me down onto it with her, my back facing her as she pulls me closely against her warm body, pulling the blanket over us and turning on the tv to the ID channel.
I smile to myself, it's been so long since I felt a loving touch.. and not greedy hands.. it's different.. it's nice
I watch tv with her for a little before I remember about the pups and get up to call Anthony just to make sure he was able to go feed them
"Hey hold on, I've gotta make a call okay?" I say to Demi and she nods as she continues to watch tv
I get up and walk towards the counter and grab my phone
Anthony: Hey Addy! What's up?
Me: Hey! Were you able to go over to my place and feed the fatties & let them out to go potty?
Anthony: Duh bitch, I know I may be an asshole but I'm not evil, I wouldn't let those sweet shitheads starve or shit all over your house, although, now that I think of it, might of been kind of funny
Me: *rolls my eyes so far into my head I can practically see my brain* you're an asshole, but I love you, thank you, did you lock my doors?
Anthony: Yeah I locked everything up after I left, hey, you did receive a couple of packages though and...
Me: And??? Who are they from?
Anthony: *stays silent*
Me: Anthony Thompson, answer my fucking question, who are they from?
Anthony: Gabriella...
Me: *stays quiet*
Anthony: Addy? You there?
Me: Yeah.. I've gotta go okay, I love you, thank you for going over to feed the pups .. *click*
Of all the names that could've come out of Anthony's mouth, it had to be hers.. Gabriella.. the 35 year old woman I "dated" for 5 years.. the woman that abused me and used me whatever way she wanted. The woman my "mother" accepted 35,000 dollars from in order for me to be her "property" when I was only 14. The woman I had to escape on my own, with the help of no one. Flashbacks of my 20th birthday, the night I escaped, are flooding my mind right now.
I set down my phone and stare emotionless at the wall. How the fuck did she find me? How does she know where I live? I moved across the fucking country for gods sake. How the fuck did this happen?
I start pulling my hair out as I slide down on the wall, my piercing sobs echoing in the room.
"Baby.. baby.. what happened? Are you okay? Don't pull your hair.. it's okay. Talk to me, what happened?!" Demi's voice cracked and was full of worry as she scooped me up and held me in her arms, slowly walking us over to the bed
I cling onto her shirt as my sobs continued to flow out of me, no end in sight
Full blown panic attack in 3...2...1
Show time
I scream louder as my sobs bounce off the walls, I can feel Demi playing with my hair softly and rocking us back and forth trying desperately to calm me down
"I....I....n..need... my pills!" I grip onto my chest as I struggle to breathe, leaving claw marks that soon start to drip blood, it feels as though a fucking elephant is sitting on me
Demi runs towards my bag and brings it to me, her eyes full of tears as she's desperately trying to keep her composure
I open my bag and throw everything out, finally finding the bottle of Klonopin & the bottle of Ativan & the Benadryl, a cocktail that had been given to me many times while being in patient in a psych hospital or rehab, the only things that were able to calm me down.
I quickly take all three pills and lay on my side as I continue to try to control my breathing, Demi is holding onto me for dear life as she softly cries into my back, rubbing it softly
"You're okay.. you're here with me okay? Nothings going to happen to you here, I'm going to keep you safe, I'm here, breathe honey, tell me three things in my room that you can see right now" she whispers as I open my tear filled eyes, they dart around the room,
"I....i can see your guitar, I can.. see a picture with you and your family, and I can see your perfume bottles" I let out a deep breath, by the end of that I was completely calm, how tf did she do that? No ones been able to calm me down from a panic attack before.. I mean, no one has ever even stayed by my side as I had one, she's amazing.. fuck, I probably scared the shit out of her.
I turn around to face her, her eyes are glossy, and her cheeks are tear stained, she flashes a soft but genuine smile, and I do the same as I pull her closer against me
"You didn't have to do that... but.. thank you so much.. thank you for being here, I'm sorry if I scared you.." I look down
She quickly lifts my face with her finger under my chin
"Don't you dare apologize for something you can't control beautiful girl, and no need to thank me, I'm here, and I will always be here. Don't ever doubt that" she presses her lips to my forehead as I smile, my cheeks a bright red
She notices and giggles softly then stops
"Whenever you feel ready to talk to me about what happened just now, just know that I'm here okay? Whenever you feel comfortable and you're ready, I'll be here to listen"
I smile softly as I pull her closer against me
What are these feelings? Is this love? Is this what love feels like? I've never felt this before, it's as though with every interaction I get more and more intoxicated by her. No alcohol, no drugs, just her..
I cling onto her as I begin to drift off, she kisses my forehead one last time as she starts to fall asleep as well
This was a long ass day, hopefully I haven't scared her of, hopefully she stays, because this, I can honestly get used to this.
I smile to myself as I drift off.
Hey guys, sorry for the boring ass chapter, I've been pretty sick lately, and feeling like shit, your comments mean the world to me, comment, vote, anything! Let me know what you like, and don't like, or what you'd like me to add or see happen!!