(A/N) I'm back, my adoring public 🤧
***
Wait," Dinah repeated for the millionth time. "You're telling me that Lauren did what?!"
Maggie rolled her eyes and poured herself another glass of wine. After Lauren's proposal, Camila had gathered some of her friends and went to discuss what had happened between them.
To spill the Earl Grey and what not.
It wasn't out in the tabloids as yet, but knowing Dinah Jane, Camila was sure, that no later than today, her best friend would tweet something and the world would know.
"She said, you dumb bitch," Maggie took a sip from her glass. "That they're renewing their vows and she's making me the matron of honour."
"Listen here, you little bitch," Dinah began. "I've known the both of them a lot longer than you, therefore if anyone is going to be the maid of honour, that will be me; Dinah Jane Milika Ilaisaane Hansen Amasio Kane. No one else. Period."
Camila laughed to herself and admired her ring. She couldn't believe that this had happened. Even though therapy was over a couple weeks now, and with her album dropping in about two weeks, she was still extremely nervous about having to go back on tour. She and Lauren had been discussing what they were going to do, and they had settled on moving to New York. They weren't too sure about having Izzy on the road with Camila as yet because she did need to be in a stable environment; so that was going to be a major issue.
"Actually guys, I was thinking about having Becky be my maid of honour," at the mention of her name, the teenager began choking hysterically on her drink; causing Maggie to knock her on the back, hoping she doesn't die. "Are you okay?" Camila smirked at her sister.
"I..I what," Becky said in confusion. "You want me, as in ME," she pointed to herself to be your MOH? Are you for real?"
Camila reached across the table and took her sister's hand. "I am. You're my sister Becky, I wouldn't want anyone else to be my maid of honour. Plus, Dinah was it last time, she can't be that greedy."
"Um, yes I can," Dinah rolled her eyes playfully. "But that's a really cute idea, Walz. I can't wait to see you crying as you're walking down the aisle again."
Dinah, Maggie, Becky along with Camila had met up for an impromptu visit. Since everyone was literally busy with their careers and children, it was quite difficult to schedule a group hang with everyone. Lauren, as well couldn't make it because she had some work to do with Natasha.
"I'm really honoured that you chose me, Mila," Becky intertwined their fingers together. "I'm just so happy that things worked out between you and Lauren. The both of you deserve to be happy."
Camila brought their hands to her lips, kissing Becky's softly. "I swear, I wish you were in my life a lot longer. You're honestly the best sister a girl can ask for."
"Speaking of sisters..." Maggie wiggled her eyebrows at her sister in law. "When is my Mini Me going to get a sibling? I believe his name was Chuck."
She and Dinah snickered. Becky was clueless but she joined in the laughter anyway because she didn't want to be left out.
"Not anytime soon," Camila rolled her eyes. "I know she wants a sibling but life is just so busy right now. I don't want to have another kid and make the same mistakes I did with Izzy. When Lauren and I do decide on having another baby, I want to be around for it all; their first word, their first steps, seeing them off on their first day at school."
Dinah and Maggie clutched their chests dramatically. If they weren't always at each other's throats; possibly for the fact that they were exactly the same person, maybe they would've gotten along.
"You're doing parenting right," Becky smiled at her sister. "My mom used to whoop my ass with the chancla every time I disobeyed her. Sometimes she still threatens to use it." She laughed heartedly.
"Oh my god!" Camila joined in the laughter with her sister. "My abuelita used to do same thing. But to be fair, I deserved it."
Becky laughed. "Girl, same. But I would cry my eyes out and my mom would beat me with it again so that I could stop crying."
"My parents would ignore my existence," Maggie added to the conversation. "One time I broke my arm, the butler took me to the hospital and my parents never came."
The table fell silent.
"Jeez, tough crowd," Maggie muttered. "I thought we were laughing at things that were funny."
Dinah casually draped her arm over Maggie's shoulder. "Your parents treating you like shit isn't funny. And even though it's your defence mechanism to use your pain and laugh at it, you didn't deserve that."
The younger Jauregui kinked an eyebrow at Dinah, her mouth hung open and words weren't able to come out.
"You're...being...nice?"
Dinah punched Maggie on the shoulder playfully. "Just because I'm mean to you like all the damn time and I want to murder you at every given moment...it doesn't mean I don't care about you and love you."
"Awww," Maggie wrapped her arms around the woman and placed a wet kiss on her cheek. "Dinah Jane, I love you too. If you weren't such an ass to me, we could've been the best of friends. An unstoppable duo, if you will. The Bonnie to my Clyde. The Pain to my Ass."
"Do we need to get the two of you a room?" Becky asked, laughing. "It's an odd sight to see the both of you getting along if I'm being honest. Odd but not unwanted."
Camila shook her head, laughing as well. "Don't get used to it. For years, I've been trying to find a way to make these two get along, but it's simply impossible."
"Oh shut up, Jauregui," Dinah rolled her eyes. "So, anyway, topic change, is baby Jauregui ready for her surprise tonight?"
Maggie looked from Dinah to Camila, then to Becky, because for once, the woman was clueless. "What are we talking about?!"
"You'll see," Camila sent a playful wink her way. "You'll see."
***
"Mummy," Izzy walked towards her mother, and tugged on her jacket. "I want to be out with mama. I wanna see you sing."
Camila stopped talking to Roger for a moment, and turned towards her daughter, stooping to her height. "You know that song you and me were singing that day?"
Izzy furrowed her eyebrows for a moment, until she nodded her head furiously. "Oh yeah! I like that song. It's nice."
"Do you want to sing that with me?"
"On stage?" Camila nodded. "With you?" She nodded again. "Will you hold my hand if I get scared?" Izzy asked, her voice soft.
Camila pulled her daughter into her arms. "Of course, I will baby. I'm always here for you when you're scared. Just look at me, while you're singing okay?" Izzy nodded against her mother's shoulder. "Mama, Dinah, Maggie, Becky and your abuelitas will be there too."
"What about Elena?" The child asked once she pulled away from her mother's embrace. "Is she here too?"
Camila laughed. "Why don't you see for yourself?" She pointed to a little girl in the crowd, who was in Lauren's arms. Once Elena saw her friend from school, she waved wildly at her.
"Yay!" Izzy cheered excitedly. "Hi, Elena!" She waved at her best friend. "I'm excited now."
One of the stage hands got Izzy ready to go out and perform. Meanwhile, Camila brought out one of the microphones that Izzy had gotten her for Christmas. It had instantly became one of her all time favourite gifts from her daughter.
The mother-daughter duo, were dressed in a matching outfit as a means to represent their bond during this performance. Camila and Izzy had come a long way, and though it's still a work in progress, it's getting better one step at a time.
"You ready, baby?" Camila looked down at her daughter who looked extremely giddy. "I'll take that as a yes." She laughed.
Izzy slipped her hand into her mother's as they headed out on the stage; the fans going crazy as Camila surfaced and even crazier as they saw their fave's child with her.
"Good night, Miami!" Camila yelled into the mic. "Before, I start with the actual show, there's something that I want to do first." She glanced at her daughter, who seemed a bit nervous as she was now standing in front of these thousands of people. "I've never formally introduced you guys...but I have someone I want you to meet."
Camila stooped to her daughter's height, wrapped an arm around the child's waist and pulled her close to her chest, before speaking into the microphone again. "This little person right here is the light of my life. She loves me unconditionally even when I find it impossible to love myself, she does." She placed a kiss on her daughter's cheek, the crowd swooning at their interaction. "It's been five years, and I think it's time I introduce her to you...please meet my daughter. My everything. My princess... Emilia Isabella Jauregui."
Camila's fans gave the child a warm welcome, cheering loudly as she blushed and hid her face in her mother's jacket.
"Hi..." the child spoke hesitantly into the microphone. "I like being called Izzy."
Camila giggled and ruffled her daughter's hair. "I also have a special surprise for you guys. My baby and I wrote a song together, and she wanted Miami to hear it first. What do y'all say? You wanna hear it?"
The screams from the fans were enough to know that they definitely did want to hear it.
Before standing, Camila asked her daughter again if she was okay with performing, and though Izzy may have been panicking on the inside, she really wanted to be on stage with her mother. So she pushed aside her fears, because she knew Camila was going to be there for her, and nodded her head.
"I'm ready, mummy!"
The music began softly playing through the speakers as pictures of Camila, Izzy, along with Lauren popped up on screen behind them as they were getting ready to perform.
"Sing to me, sing to me,
Sing to me, sing to me,
Sing to me, sing to me,
Sing to me, sing to me..."
Camila sang to her daughter. A picture of Izzy when she was only a few hours old, appeared onscreen. They were still in the hospital, Camila was looking at her daughter with nothing but love and amazement in her eyes.
She remembered the day she told Lauren that she was pregnant. She remembered just how excited she was and couldn't wait to tell her wife about the good news.
She drove...well sped home after her doctor's appointment and blurted the news out to Lauren.
"I'm pregnant!" Camila screamed as soon as the front door to their house opened. Lauren popped her head out of the kitchen, staring at her wife in confusion.
"Pregnant?" Lauren asked. "Like with new music ideas?"
Camila laughed and wrapped her arms around her wife. "No, silly. I'm pregnant...with our baby."
Lauren pulled away from her wife, and held her at arms length, staring at her. "You mean...?" Camila nodded. "Oh...my god." She pulled her wife back into her arms, tears of joy making its way down her cheeks. "When did you find out?"
"Literally an hour ago," Camila laughed through her own happy tears. "I couldn't wait to tell you. You're the first to know the good news."
"I'm glad you didn't wait," Lauren kissed her wife on the lips. "God, I'm so happy. I can't believe this. We're having a baby."
Camila smiled, placing her hand on her stomach. Even though she wasn't showing as yet, she knew that the child she was carrying was in there.
She made a silent vow that she was going to treasure their baby... always.
Their unborn baby was going to be unconditionally happy.
"We're having a baby," Camila smiled, wrapping her arms around Lauren's neck. "We're having a baby."
Camila held onto Izzy's hand as they were dancing. Whatever nervousness the child may have had, was long gone. As she was too entranced with relishing this moment she was sharing with her mother.
Camila beckoned her daughter to begin singing. Izzy took a deep breath, and allowed the words to softly flow throughout the arena.
"Mommy sing to me, sing to me (I love you),
Mommy sing to me, sing to me (I love you),
Mommy sing to me, sing to me (I love you),
Mommy sing to me, sing to me (I love you)..."
The joy and pride that not only Camila felt, but Lauren did too about their daughter performing right now, words couldn't even begin to express it.
Elena was clapping excitedly the moment that her best friend started to sing, because she knew if her friend were to become famous like her parents, that being famous by association was the best kind of fame.
Looking at her daughter perform, it brought Camila to tears on stage. She wiped at her eyes, as she softly sang 'I love you' after each line her daughter sang. It reminded her of when Izzy said her first word. It then brought her back to when she started walking, then to when Izzy had started preschool.
A wave of sadness had hit her because even though she was there for most of Izzy's critical years, she did miss out on other significant things about her daughter.
Things she didn't want to miss if she and Lauren had another child.
Significant events in her daughter's life that she didn't want to continue missing.
"Mummy! Mummy!" Izzy ran up to Camila, a paper in her hand. It was Izzy's second day of preschool, and even though Camila had things to do, she didn't want to miss this part of her daughter's growth. "Look! Look!"
She laughed and took the paper from her child, seeing an 'A' scrawled on top of it. "Princesa! Did you ace your very first exam?!" Camila asked excitedly. "Aw, baby!" She stooped to her daughter's height and wrapped her into a hug. "I am so proud of you! You're so smart!"
Izzy giggled. "Thank you, mummy. Miss Kylie says I am too. Can we go show mama my test?"
Even though Camila and Lauren weren't on the best of terms right now, she complied.
She may not have been the best mother, but Izzy's happiness was always her priority...even though she had a bad way of showing it.
Once Lauren caught Izzy's eyes, she blew a kiss at her, causing the child to smile happily.
"Izzy sing to me, sing to me (I love you),
Izzy sing to me, sing to me (I love you),
Izzy sing to me, sing to me (I love you),
Izzy sing to me..."
Sinu wiped at her eyes. It was as though everyone who came to see Izzy perform, were in tears. Since the beginning of the performance, the child's grandmother had been an emotional wreck. She knew the struggles that Camila and Izzy had and for them to be at this point now, where the only place to go was up?
She was overjoyed.
Sinu knew that her daughter wasn't perfect and that she had made a lot of mistakes, those mistakes hurting her granddaughter, but Camila loved Izzy with every fibre of her being.
Camila didn't want to make the same mistakes her father did. She didn't want to choose someone, people, or whatever the case may be over her family.
What doesn't make sense is our want for things at a certain point in our life, things that we would literally do anything for just to have it. Like a job, a relationship, a friendship, his love or her attention.
You may think that these things are going to fulfil you and make you whole, but when you finally get them, you don't want them anymore.
I can't seem to wrap my head around how you can so desperately want someone's love, and want to love someone, that when you finally get them, get their love, you don't want it anymore. You realise that it's not something you want.
It doesn't make sense that we, as human beings can constantly change our preferences and alter our feelings so much towards people, things and places all the damn time.
Because then...did we ever truly love this person?
What is fake and what is real if we keep altering our feelings?
When will our feelings and wishes become stable?
And what I don't understand is how we can be so obsessed and so in love with someone, to the point that we're constantly thinking about them, and we yearn to be around them...but then at another point, we simply don't feel a thing.
That's what just doesn't make sense to me.
How could Alejandro love his wife, his daughter but still choose to go ahead and have an affair? Though, Camila may never truly understand why he did what he did, she made a promise to herself that she would never hurt her daughter the way her father had torn her heart apart.
"Izzy, baby did you know,
That you used to live in my tummy,
Izzy, did you know,
I'm in love with being your mommy..."
Camila caressed her daughter's face as she sang those words to her.
Lauren may have been Camila's soulmate, but Izzy?
Izzy was her heart.
When Camila found out she was pregnant, every single thing she did, she made sure it wouldn't affect her unborn child negatively.
Everything she does till this day, she does it for Izzy.
"Camila," Roger; her manager entered her hotel room to be met with his client packing her suitcase. "Where are you going?"
Camila sighed heavily. "Roge, as much as I love being a singer, and don't get me wrong, my career means a lot to me, but it's Izzy's birthday in a few days and I can't miss it."
"Camila, listen..." Roger began but the singer cut him off again.
"No, Roger, you listen to me," Camila pinched the bridge of her nose, sighing heavily. "My career is important to me, but my family comes first. Izzy is turning two and she has been asking for me. This is my child we're talking about. A missed interview and a cancelled performance, is not going to end my career." She zipped up her suitcase once she was finished packing. "Whether you like it or not, I'm going home."
Camila's father, before everything had gone down and ruined their family, he had taught her to be nice first, because she could've always been mean after.
The thing is, once you're mean, no one is ever going to believe that you're nice after.
So be nice, until it's time to stop being nice, then you can fuck them over after.
Camila carried that with her throughout her life. When she had her own family, she made sure to put them first, because family first and everything else after. Though, they had their challenges, she always showered them with her 'niceness' that was until Lauren messed up.
"Sing to me, sing to me (I love you),
Izzy sing to me, sing to me (I love you),
Izzy sing to me, sing to me (I love you),
Izzy sing to me, sing to me (I love you).."
It was so easy for Camila to fall in love with Lauren.
But it wasn't always as easy as they had made it seem.
Initially, Lauren was scared of falling for Camila. And who could blame her? Love is a scary thing, especially since all good things seemed to have never even glanced in Lauren's direction.
A part of Lauren was also afraid of Camila because maybe she knew that, her crush at the time, wouldn't break her like the other girls.
Maybe that's exactly why she was terrified of her. Camila could make Lauren happy, and happiness was definitely something that she didn't know.
And Lauren knew, that being happy was the most terrifying thing on this earth.
Once you're happy, it can be taken away from you.
"I know you're scared Lauren," Camila caressed Lauren's cheek. "Hell, I am too, but we can be scared together. We can make this work."
Lauren sighed and shut her eyes for a moment. "And what if we don't work out? What happens then?"
"You'll break my heart, and maybe I'll break yours," Camila shrugged. "But being with you, having my heart broken by you would be an honour."
Maybe the reason it hurts so bad is because of how much you loved the person, how much you loved being with them.
Maybe it's because you've never loved anyone in your life as much as you love this person.
And when it ends, you finally realise exactly how big of a part they are of who you are today.
Having to leave something you poured your heart and soul into... that shit isn't easy and will never be easy.
And then, for the first time ever, you'll finally experience what it's like to have your heart break into a million pieces.
Lauren laughed softly and cupped Camila's cheeks. "I am so damn scared, Camz. You have no idea just how truly terrified I am of being with you...but being without you is even scarier."
"I'm going to be here with you, every step of the way," Camila intertwined their fingers. "I know I'm going to mess up. I am not perfect. I say dumb things at the worst possible moments. But when I tell you, this thing in my chest," she brought Lauren's free hand and placed it over her chest to feel her heartbeat. "This right here...it beats for you and it always will."
Lauren placed a kiss on Camila's cheek, and pulled away, staring into her eyes. "There's no one else in this world that I will ever truly adore the way I adore you."
Maggie Jauregui; Lauren's younger sister stepped out into the backyard and took a seat next to the couple. "I don't mean to be that person, but I'm going to be that person." She sighed dramatically. "I have been rooting for this since the beginning of time, if you don't get together this instant, I will..." Maggie paused for dramatic effect. ".....die."
Camila laughed and playfully punched Maggie in the arm. "Why are you like this?"
The teenager at the time, shrugged her shoulders. "I get asked that a lot and I have never came up with an answer. But don't beat around the bush! Are you two together or not?!"
Camila looked at Lauren, who looked at Maggie, who looked back at Camila.
"I'm taking that as a yes," Maggie squealed. "Mark my words, you two are going to get married, have beautiful babies and be a power couple! I'm calling it from now."
Izzy and Camila had stopped dancing on the stage. The child tugged on her mother's jacket, so that she could stoop to her height, Camila obliged.
Izzy placed a hand on her mother's cheek as she sang the last few lines of the song, staring deeply into the woman's brown eyes.
"Mommy sing to me, sing to me (I love you),
Mommy sing to me, sing to me (I love you),
Mommy sing to me, sing to me (I love you),
Mommy sing to me, sing to me (I love you)..."
Camila wiped at her eyes and pulled her daughter into a hug, squeezing the child tightly. "I love you, princesa. I love you so so much."
Izzy kissed her mother's cheek. "I love you too, mummy. You're the best mummy in the whole world!"
Camila placed the microphone in her back pocket, and cupped her daughter's cheeks. "Baby, I need you to know just how special you are to me. I know sometimes I'm not the best mummy, and I know I make you cry. I'm so sorry for ever doing that to you."
"It's okay, mummy. I know you don't mean it," Izzy gave her mother a small smile. "I love you."
All the while, Camila's fans were looking on at the interaction between the mother and daughter, with their hearts being warmed at such an intimate moment. Camila wasn't worried about doing this in front of her fans, she needed her daughter to know just how much she means to her, and this seemed like the right moment to do just that.
Camila kissed the child's forehead. "I love you too, estrella. I don't know what I did to be blessed with an amazing daughter like you."
Izzy shrugged and smiled sweetly at her mother. "That's simple, mummy. You married, mama." She looked across the stage at her mother who was apparently bickering with her younger sister, who now had Elena in her arms.
Camila glanced at her wife, shaking her head with a smile on her lips. "You're absolutely right, princesa."
"Can I have the vows?" The minister asked the couple.
Lauren along with Camila we're both emotional messes at the moment, but they had to push through their tears of joy to recite their vows to each other.
"I," Lauren began and paused. "I love you," she brought Camila's hand to her lips, kissing it softly. "I think that's all I need to say, because if I go on to talk about the way you make me feel, we'll be standing here all day." The crowd laughed, along with Camila; she wiped at her eyes. "You make me unbelievably happy and I, in all my years of living, never thought that I would ever be this happy. You drive my heart wild, and you drive me crazy, a perfect combination. When I first saw you that day in that crowded hall, something in me knew that we would've been forever. I'm just glad you gave me that chance."
Camila squeezed Lauren's hand. "I'd give you that chance all again in a heartbeat, my love."
"I'm shy, and I'm quiet but when I'm around you, you bring out the best in me. You bring out a part of me that I didn't know existed. When I'm around you, I can't imagine not being around you. I've never wanted a casual type of love. I've always wanted someone to lean on and someone to love. I've always wanted someone to live with, rather than exist with," Lauren inhaled deeply, she was trying her best to not cry, but that was physically impossible when she was about to marry the woman she always wanted. "I need commitment, consistency, intimacy and connection, and I am so utterly blessed to have found that in you, Camila Cabello. You are the love that came without warning, you had my heart before I could say no. I want to spend the rest of my life loving you. I want you, all of you for the rest of forever. I love you, for all that you are and for all that you will be. You are my happy ever after."
She slipped the ring on Camila's finger and brought it to her lips kissing it gently. "I'm glad I'm the person that you love."
***
"Izzy! Izzy! Izzy" Elena ran towards her best friend, and wrapped her in a hug. "Hi!"
Izzy giggled and hugged her friend back. "Hi. I didn't know you were coming."
"Your mummy said to keep it a secret, and I was going to tell you, but your tía said she was going to beat me up." Elena pouted.
Maggie laughed as she heard what Elena just said. "I didn't say no such thing," she lifted her niece into her arms, hugging her tightly. "I said, I would want to beat you up. Not that I was going to." She playfully rolled her eyes. "But ugh, Mini Me, you are a star! I'm so proud of you. You're a better singer than your mummy that's for sure."
Izzy blushed. "Thank you, tía." She kissed Maggie's cheek.
"Go play with your demon friend," Maggie placed her back on the ground, as the two ran off with Sinu and Valentina. "Your performance was amazing, Camzii. I'm so proud. I might've shed a tear or two."
Lauren laughed. "You were crying throughout the whole thing." She wrapped her arms around her wife, kissing her forehead. "Amazing as always, mi amor."
"You really think so?" Camila asked. "I just wanted to introduce Izzy into my world. I mean, I don't want her to grow up in it because it's not always rainbows and trees, but I don't want her to feel as though I'm hiding her."
Maggie nodded, and placed a hand on her sister in law's shoulder. "She knows, trust me. That kid is obsessed with you. You're an amazing mother, so now, I guess I have to take it back when I said you were a shitty one."
Camila shoved the woman away, who laughed loudly. "I fucking hate you, but also, thank you. I'm trying to be the mother Izzy deserves."
"Hey, sissy," Becky approached her sister. She had a plate of food in her hand, because apparently stuffing her face was more important than talking to her sister after the very first performance she had seen. "You and Izzy should start a band or something. I'm impressed. The kid has some incredible vocals." She shoved something in her mouth. "By the way, these cream puffs are amazing. What the hell."
"Ooh, yes girl!" Maggie snatched one out of her plate. "I love those too. Come, let me show you what you have to try."
The couple laughed as their sisters walked away and headed towards the food table. "They're literally the same person."
"Right?" Camila agreed with her wife. "Well, today was a success."
"And you were amazing as usual," Lauren pulled her wife onto a couch, Camila sitting on her lap. "I know it hasn't even started yet, but I can't wait for your tour to be over."
The woman laughed, she slipped her fingers into Lauren's hair. "It'll be over before you know it, trust me. And we're going to be okay. Whatever life throws at us, we're going to kick it's ass."
"Together?"
"Together."
***
Just one more chapter, then the epilogue. If I'm feeling generous, you may or may not get a bonus chapter 👀
Until next time 🦋