"I think that I want it
It’s all I really need
You say that you want it
Just tell it straight to me"
**
A loud shrill noise snaps my eyes open and I groan, blinking my eyes to adjust the sleepy blur from them.
I rub them with my thumb and forefinger, trying to wipe the heaviness from them, and wince at the continued ringing.
Harry grumbles in his sleep, burying his head further into the crook of my neck with his arm slumped over me.
I sigh heavily, slowly moving his arm off of me, to which he grumbles again, muttering under his breath and I fight the urge to smile.
I slink out of the bed from under the sheets slowly, padding quickly to where my phone is on top of my clothes, picking it up and quickly swiping to answer it to stop the god awful sound.
"Hello?" I croak, still groggy from sleep.
"Abigail Reed did you just wake up?" my mother's incredulous tone shrieks through the speaker, and I pull the phone from my ear, flinching at the shrill of her voice.
"What time is it?" I ask, squinting around Harry's room to try and see a clock somewhere.
"It's almost midday!" She scolds.
Midday?! My eyes snap wide as I look at Harry in the bed.
How long did we sleep for?
"Sorry" I sigh "I had a late night"
I walk back to the bed, sitting where I had crawled out of moments earlier, and jolt in shock when I feel Harry's arm wrap around my hips as he nuzzles his face against me.
I gawk down at him, flicking my eyes back and forth between his arm and face.
It's almost comical, seeing someone that usually seems like a dangerous cougar curled up against me like a harmless kitten.
"What on earth were you doing? You have responsibilities Abigail, you're an adult, you can not be up until all hours of the night" she says, not at all trying to hide how unimpressed she is.
Actually I'm pretty sure being an adult means I can do that, but whatever.
"I know mother" I mutter, feeling way too drained to deal with her lectures when I haven't even been awake for five minutes.
"Excuse me young lady? You will not use that tone with me" she snaps.
I bite down on my cheek, exhaling a slow breath.
"M'sorry, I just have a headache" I lie, apologising to her like I always do.
"Well have a glass a of water and don't take it out on your poor mother" she scoffs.
"I will" I promise withy shoulders slumping "Sorry again"
Harry groans, lifting his head and squinting up at me with one eye open "Morning" he rasps still half asleep, his voice thick and hoarse.
I grip my phone tighter in my hand, to the point I think I may crush it, shit I forgot how good he sounded when he first woke up.
"Abby? What was that? Is Andy there?" my mother prods, her voice piquing at her usual nosey nature.
Fuck.
Fuck fuck fuck.
Harry rolls onto his back, stretching his arms above his head, and let's out a dramatic yawn that sounds like damn bear.
"Uh, yeah that was Andy" I lie, trying to hide the stress in my voice.
I glance to Harry, who has paused with his arms still outstretched, looking at me with a raise of his brow.
I'm considering throwing myself out of his window when a slow sly smirk pulls on to his lips.
Whatever is going through that brain of yours right now Harry - don't you dare.
"Oh wonderful, give him the phone, let me say hello to him" she says all chipper.
FUCK.
"Uh Uhm - uh he can't talk on the phone at the moment" I stutter, feeling all the colour drain from my face.
"Oh" I can already picture the dramatic pout on her face "Well at least tell him I said Hello"
I press my hand to my forehead, believing that the rate my heart is going is indicating an oncoming heart attack.
I look to Harry, silently pleading him with my eyes to not do whatever that fucking smirk means "Mum says hello"
He lifts his brows, his smirk turning into a lazy smile while his head is pillowed on his arms folded behind his head "Hey mum"
My shoulders relax, and I give him a silent thank you.
"Is he sick Abby? He sounds different" she asks, the frown evident in her voice.
"Uh - Yeah he has the flu" I blurt, cursing silently under my breath.
"Ow I hope he gets better soon the poor thing, ask him how he's been for me"
Typical of my mother, even though I said he couldn't talk on the phone, she always finds a way to get what she wants. For fuck sake.
I swear she likes him more than she likes her own daughter.
I press my lips together flatly, giving Harry a 'please help me' look "Mum wants to know how you've been?"
Harry turns his face to rest his cheek against his arm, looking up to me innocently "I've still been a massive pussy"
My jaw nearly dislocates from how fast it drops, and he scoffs out a laugh through his nose, pressing his lips together to try and hold it in.
"What was that?" my mother asks.
I grab the pillow behind me, smacking it over Harry's face "He said he's still been really busy" I squeak, the stress cracking my voice.
Harry's muffled cackles rumble through the pillow and I press it down harder.
"Always working so hard that boy is, you're lucky to have someone as driven as him Abigail, you could learn a lot from him" my mother praises, but I don't miss the underhanded insult she always manages to slip in.
"Yeah" I say through my teeth, glaring at Harry as he pulls the pillow from his face, grinning childishly at me with his messy curls sticking up all over the place.
"Look mum, I have to go, can I call you back later?" I plead, considering smashing my phone against the wall so I don't have to keep this up any longer.
"That's fine" she snips "Maybe you can fix your attitude by the time you call back"
I press my hand to my face, squeezing my eyes closed "Yes mum, I'm really sorry, I promise I'll call back later"
"You better" she warns "I'll speak to later Abigail, and for god sake don't let me find you waking up at this time of day again that's just pure laziness"
"I won't" I promise "Bye mum"
I hang up before I give her a chance to speak, knowing I won't hear the end of it when I speak to her next, but I'll take that over continuing this train wreck one second longer.
I look to Harry, who is still laying there happy as a pig in shit, and I toss my phone on the bed in front of me "Really Harry?"
He yawns again, bringing his arms down to rub against his against his exposed stomach "Your mum sounds nice" he says not trying in the slightest to hide his sarcasm.
I frown at him, fighting to keep my eyes on his face and not looking at his lean tattoo covered torso, his body should come with its own warning label for the side affects it has on your health "You just couldn't help yourself could you?"
Harry shrugs his shoulders, looking pleased with himself "I think I played your boyfriend pretty accurately if you ask me love"
I glare at him, even more irritated that he looks so damn gorgeous just laying there, the prick.
I shake my head in annoyance, turning to pull myself off of the bed, but I'm stopped when Harry grasps my arm, pulling me down against him as he wraps his arms around my torso, turning us so my shoulders are pressed against his chest.
"And where do you think you're going?" he asks smiling against my ear, his voice sinful and hoarse.
My stomach knots and my heart is back to hammering a hundred mile an hour "I need to get dressed Harry, I need to go" I say, kicking myself mentally for how unconvincing I sounded.
Harry clicks his tongue in disapproval, tightening his arms around me "I just got you here Abby, you don't get to run off that easily"
"Harry" I huff, placing my hands over his arms "I literally stayed here last night, I need to go home"
He burrows his face against the crook of my neck, his lips hovering against my skin as he speaks "Do you know what I need?"
I know doing this is stupid, but for some reason I ask any way "What?"
"I'll give you a guess" he murmurs, nudging his nose against my jaw. He shifts his hips forward, and when I feel the hard buldge the thin material or his sweatpants is doing nothing to conceal, press against my behind, my entire body seizes.
"Harry!" I gasp distressed, gripping my hands around his arms harder.
A low groan rattles deep in Harrys chest, and he presses himself further against me "Don't say my name like that Abby, you're already making this hard enough for me" he grinds his hips forward, stilling them after a few seconds "And I mean that literally"
"Ha-Harry, we can't - you said, you said last night nothing would happen" I stammer, again being completely betrayed by my body.
Every inche of my skin is tingling, feeling like static is flowing over it and there's that unmistakable heat pooling deep in my belly.
"What's wrong little mouse? Feeling tempted?" he purrs against my ear, pressing his hardness against me again in slow circular motions.
I'm like a cat using up my nine lives with this, I'm almost down to my last one, and I don't know how much longer I can say no to him.
"Please Harry" I beg losing my breath "I need to go"
I can't help but run away from these situations with him, it's the only defence I have, I know if he tugged at my strings long enough they would snap.
Harry chuckles under his breath, like he's finding some sick amusement out of this cat and mouse game he plays with me.
He presses his lips to my neck, and I let out an involuntary sigh at the feel of his silky lips branding my skin again.
"You could just stop torturing yourself and give in" he says against my skin, unwinding one of his arms from my waist and grasping my chin.
He turns my face, lifting his lips to hover against the corner of my mouth "Because I know I'm not the only one this is driving insane"
I close my eyes, shaking my head knowing I don't have it in me to speak. It's like everytime I'm around him he strips another layer of my resolve away.
He pecks the corner of my mouth, pulling away to roll onto his back, and I stay stilled on my side, trying to recover from yet again having it feel like he reached straight into me and set my soul in fire, melting every organ in my body.
I slowly drag myself to sit up, dropping my legs over the edge over the bed, and peek at him over my shoulder.
I'm confused by the look on his face, I expected him to be annoyed. I expected the look I get from Andy the few times I've turned him down or told him I didn't feel like it, and most of the time he managed to guilt me into giving in any way.
He his laying there staring up at me, with a lazy half smile, looking satisfied and a prideful affection glint in his eyes "You better get going then love" he slides his hand under the cover, and I gulp when I see the blanket shift over his crotch "I have something to take care of, but you're welcome to stay and help"
I shoot up from the bed, keeping my eyes focused on the brick wall in front of me with my back to him "No, no I'm going"
I start taking hasty steps towards the bathroom but I pause when I hear Harry's voice behind me.
"Aren't you for getting something Abby?"
I turn on my heel cautiously, only to see him toss the key at me with his bottom lip tucked under perfect pearlescent teeth.
I fumble to catch it, glancing from it in my hand and back to Harry. He raises his brows, releasing his lower lip and my shoulders tense when I see his hand moving slowly under the covers "You can watch if you want darling"
I snap my head from side to side frantically, shaking it as I suck in a breath and turn, scampering towards the bathroom.
I swing the door shut behind me, pressing my hands to my face to try and sooth the burning of my cheeks.
I almost guarantee he did it on purpose, as I tried hopelessly to get dressed only hearing the sounds of his grunts and moans coming from the other side of the door. It travelled through my ears straight down to pool in an aching throb between my legs, and I felt guilty for even listening to it.
I feel like I've already cheated on Andy, whilst I haven't technically done anything physically sexual with Harry, he's managed to blur the lines into a grey area of infidelity I can't explain.
I feel disloyal for the temptation I have towards him, like I've already committed the crime the minute I was close to him.
What I've done feels much worse than if I had of just slept with him, the intimacy behind the things that have happened between us seeming to be a much deeper betrayal
I'm a terrible person.
I hate myself even more because I know that I just can't stay away, especially after last night, I'm tangled right in that web I was so scared I'd get trapped in, and I walked straight into it willingly.
Carving his name into my skin and feeling consumed by it.
I can't go back now, and I have no idea what I'm going to do.
***