"When you're lost out there and you're all alone, a light is waiting to carry you home." - Jesse Frederick
*6 years ago*
My parents aren't meant to be. That's something that's always been pretty obvious to me since I was old enough to understand. The fighting got worse when Anthony moved out though. It's like they forgot how to save the arguments until I am fast asleep. 6 or 16, no kid ever likes to hear their parents argue, whether it be at noon or midnight.
I think they were confused. They got married young and confused the different types of love — brother-sister type of love and husband-wife type of love. Yet they've been lying to themselves for 20 years. My mom loves my dad and my dad loves my mom, but not as lovers, as friends. That's why they have so many problems, yet they refuse to admit it.
And all of mine and Anthony's lives, we've been the ones to suffer because of their inability to admit defeat.
I walked in from a long, dreadful day at school, expecting complete silence so I could nap until my shift at Westchester at 5. No one was supposed to be home, yet there they were, arguing loud enough for the neighbors to hear.
"It's one night, Anna!" Imagine having two emotional breakdowns in school, then coming home to your parents fighting? It's been a long day.
"Yet another night, you mean," my mom harshly corrected my dad. "You went out Saturday and Friday last week."
This again.
I decided to make my presence known by clearing my throat, hoping they'd stop this petty argument. It's not like they do anything together if he were to stay in tonight anyway.
They both only spared me a glance.
"Have you ever thought for maybe a second that your daughter would want to spend a day with you? Or maybe I wanted to go out, but I'm stuck here taking care of the house?"
Leave it to my mom to drag me into this.
I rolled my eyes and started toward the stairs. As much as I was hoping the walls would be thick enough for me to tune out their fight, I knew that wouldn't be the case.
"If you spared a second of your time to talk to our daughter, you'd know she has work tonight," my dad snapped. "And if you want to go out, by all means, go! Our daughter is 16, she doesn't need a babysitter."
Normally, their fights just annoy me and put me in a sourpuss mood, but as tough of a day as I've already been having, this was just a cherry on top and pushed my emotions over the edge.
Ian being on some JROTC field trip was also no help. I just want to be curled up in his arms right now, but I don't even know when he will be home.
Through my bedroom walls, I could hear my parents still going at it.
Most kids pray their parents will get through it and stay together in the end, but that stopped being the case for me at least 6 years ago. Now I willed for them to man-up and get a divorce.
I called Anthony, but he didn't answer. It was a long-shot; he's always busy with work. Instead, I texted him a novel of a rant about what today's fight was about.
In 20 minutes time, my parents were still arguing, but onto a new topic by now. The soft knocking on my window caused me to stop staring at my wall as I cried.
Ian was literally hanging outside my window after climbing up the side of my house. I couldn't help but chuckle at his craziness, even through my tears. I hurried over to the window and opened it so Ian could climb in.
"We really need to get a ladder outside your window," Ian laughed softly. Then, he pulled me into his tight embrace and ran his fingers through my hair.
It's fairly easy to conclude that any day without Ian is a bad day.
"Don't cry, beautiful," he murmured. "Your parents?"
I shrugged and nodded. "A bad day, altogether, honestly." Ian interlaced our fingers and pulled me to my bed.
"Tell me about."
"Well," I sighed, wiping my face. As ugly of a crier that I am, I never felt self conscious around Ian about it. I know he loves me, it's no secret to me. "First I got a C on that thing for government that I worked really hard on, a B on my English project, and I had to sit alone at lunch today."
"Where were Kaila and Mason?" His soft voice was incredibly soothing; I've been waiting all day to hear it.
"Mason got a lunch detention, and Kaila was meeting someone for a study session or something."
"I'm sorry your day was so rough."
"My parents weren't any help either," I mumbled. "But you're here now."
"Josie Elle, there will never be a day that I am not here for you." I turned my head to kiss him lightly for his sweetness. "What was tonight's fight about?"
I rolled my eyes and shrugged. "My dad wanted to go out, my mom didn't want him to, you know the drill." The drill is that they make it their mission to find something stupid and totally pointless to fight about every single day. "How'd you know to come over?"
Ian chuckled at my question. "I was going to come over after I went home and showered, but Anthony texted me and said you weren't having the best day. So naturally, I skipped the shower and climbed the side of your house to get to your window." It was my turn to chuckle.
Ian Miller is my light. He brightens up my whole world, no matter what's happened. A bad day is made good when I get to see Ian and hear his silly jokes and feel his warm touch. Everything he does puts a smile on my face and makes my heart skip a beat. Everyone needs a person as genuine as Ian Miller in their lives. A world without Ian is a world I couldn't even imagine.
"You're going to change the world some day, you know that?" I said, tracing random patterns on his hand that was still holding mine.
"With you by my side, love, anything is possible."
Just like that, my bad day was cut short, and I have Ian to thank.
And I guess I owe some gratitude to Anthony. He may have been a bit occupied to reply to my call or text, but he made sure I wasn't left alone. He's always had my back, all my life.
"I'm glad Anthony texted you." Sure, he would've came over sooner or later, but I didn't mind that he was a bit smelly. I just needed my boy.
"He's a good brother." He is, indeed.
"So is Hayden." Which is also true.
Ian and I both got very lucky to have amazing older brothers who have guided us all of our lives and been our designated best friends. I can only hope and pray that my future kids will have a relationship with each other like Anthony and I did or Hayden and Ian did.
I want my kids to be able to go to their siblings for anything. Like when I asked Anthony how to tell Ian I liked him, or when I had my first drink of alcohol and was overwhelmed with guilt and Anthony was there to talk some sense into me. Or for all of the times our parents have fought throughout the years and Anthony held me as we listened from his bedroom. We've kept each other sane over the years.
•••
Here's a flashback chapter! These are always fun to right because I love writing about Ian and Josie together, but now they aren't NOT together ;) hahaha
Do your parents fight often?
Mine don't that often, but when they do I do get really sad. Parents fighting can really make a kid feel like they are at the bottom of the planet, ya know?
Hope you guys enjoyed this cute, short chapter!
I've had a rough week, not going to lie to you guys. It's just been very... unfortunate and unexpected. :/ really working towards turning my life around, so we'll see.
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- Emily