Poetry
Taking Nana's advice to heart, I put the phone down without responding to Zac's text. My entire life has been spent crushing on some boy that I never stood a chance with, and now, I'm finally letting go. Zac's chosen Sabrina, his loss. I don't need him, or Caleb, or anyother guy in my life to be happy.
So why, does it hurt so much?
Biting my lip, I decide the only way to fight this insane urge to pick my phone back up and reply is by writing. My hands and my head desperate for a distraction, I pick up the sparkly green and pink spiral notebook I use to write poetry.
Yeah, poetry.
I don't write a lot, and I'm not actually very good, but I've found that sometimes, it helps me remove myself from my emotions, ironically enough.
I flip through the pages, skimming my old, poorly rhymed poems.
Silver thorn and silver crown,
Poison's kiss and lovers touch
No man's land and one man's town
Pretty words that don't mean much.
Ugh. Nonsense. That poem doesn't even make sense. I grab a pencil off my cluttered desk and start writing.
Get out of my head-
You're driving me crazy!
You never loved me
So why do you pester my thoughts?
Get out of my head-
It's starting to hurt!
I don't love you or want you,
I did once, but no more!
Get out of my head-
Before I do something stupid
Get out of my head-
Before I can't help it
And my resolve crumbles.
The pencil breaks from being pressed too hard against the lined paper, the blunt piece of lead flicking into the air, then nosedives into my comforter. I don't care, I let it stay there. I glance at the poem in front of me. It doesn't rhyme, and it's hardly conventional, but thats how I feel. This thing with Zac doesn't fit into any rules or perceptions or standards placed on normal boy-girl relationships in society, so the poem won't either. It's a league all it's own, you can't classify it, or tame it or capture it. It was never supposed to exist. Zac and I were never supposed to happen, this...thing between us was never supposed to exist. That's why it won't work. We don't work.
He chose Sabrina.
The hottest, coolest, most popular girl.
For the hottest, coolest, most popular guy.
In the words of the great Sci-Fi legend, Mr.Spock: Its only logical.
Hot, salty tears trail over my cheeks, and I tell myself that this is okay. This is good. These tears are my farewell to whatever feelings I harbored towards Zac. These are the last boy-related tears I will shed this year.
A little voice in my head rings true and clear, calling me out: liar!
I shut it up with stifled sobs, letting the tears fall. Axel rubs his furry head against me, and I reach out and pull him towards me, cuddling his body to mine for comfort.
Eventually, my common sense takes over reminding me that I can either be like Bella; who curled up into the fetal position and cried for months after Edward left her-Twilight haters anyone?-or be like Hermione, who continued to try save the world when Ron left.
Harry Potter reference all the way, baby.
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A/N
Hey
Sorry that this is a bit of an unusual chapter, but we felt that we really had to give you guys a feel of who Sarah was, as a person, how she felt about her crazy circumstances etc.
so essentially, we just gave you guys an in depth look into her head.
Hope you liked it😉
Lovies😘😘😘
Xoxo
Storm and Snow
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