requested: no lol
scenario: in which she realises that maybe some things just aren't meant to be.
pairing: yuta x rosé
genre: angst
au: idolverse
word count: 4,289 words
status: edited
a/n: special shout-out to ROSIEBERRIES :) thank you for suggesting me yuta!
also blackpink, winner and ikon won't exist (the members will exist, just not the group itself) in this au cause instead there will be another group called 6X which is a coed group i thought about hehe
i will be in it (surprise!) with my character grey (if you're curious about her looks, search up gemma chan)
ikon's song 'i'm ok' will be mentioned a few times so i suggest to listen to it :) you can swipe left to listen to it
everything here is PURELY FICTIONAL
members consist of (oldest to youngest): mino, seungyoon, b.i, dk, rosé and grey
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being part of a coed idol group is both fun and stressful. fun, because we all are comfortable with each other and can joke about freely and stressful because of the rumours that surround us. dispatch and koreaboo tries to make stupid articles that either grey or i are dating one of the boys which we are not, since we signed a contract that had a no dating between the group members agreement.
i do have someone i like a lot, though. his name is yuta nakamoto from nct and we've been friends ever since he debuted. i was his sunbae by two years and we met when we were promoting on inkigayo. as the famous seungri tells, he gave me his phone number through the inkigayo sandwiches.
smiling at the memory, i sighed deeply. lately, he had become distant. our usual hangout times are cut short or he says he isn't available. which is odd, because i'm friends with the rest of nct and they say they're free at those times. the last time i hung out with him was nearly 4 months ago.
so what is yuta nakamoto hiding?
i don't want to sound like an overprotective girlfriend of some sort because first of all, we're not even dating, and second, i'm not his mom so i can't tell him who he can or can't hangout with.
to be honest, i miss him. i miss my best friend. i wish he'd tell me what was going on. but right now, i doubt he would since he's becoming distant with me.
that was, until i got a text from him.
my heart raced at his question. did he read my mind?
...never mind. maybe it's not all that exciting anymore. i guess if he's bringing someone i'll bring mino. jogging to my bedroom, i looked in my closet for a decent shirt and pants. i ended up going with a black crop too that had a picture of a rose on left, a pair of ripped jeans and a pair of black adidas sneakers with a silver kate spade bracelet and a pair of heart-shape silver studs.
walking to the upstairs dorm in our apartment building, i knocked on the door.
"who is it?" hanbin sang from the inside.
"your favourite flower park chaeyoung," i sang back. hanbin opened the door and greeted me, welcoming me inside. "is mino here?"
"yup. he's in his room. not sure if he's sleeping though, so knock first." hanbin pointed to the direction of his room. i nodded and thanked him, scurrying to mino's door. knocking on it twice, i heard him shout 'come in'.
"oppa!" i smiled, closing the door behind me. "i have a small favour."
"shoot." he turned to look at me from his place on his art corner.
"could you accompany me to go see yuta? he's bringing someone so i figured i'd bring you. that is, if you're okay with it." i hopefully looked at him.
"sure, why not? when are you guys meeting?"
"at 12, so we leave at 11:30. we're going to the same café we always go." i showed him the texts and his eyes scanned over them before nodding.
"are you sure? you guys didn't discuss the meeting place," he furrowed his eyebrows.
"he would've told me, cause usually we go to the same place." i frowned. "should i ask him?"
"yeah, i think you should." i heard him give a quiet 'okay' and proceeded to sit on his bed, letting jhonny climb onto my lap as i stroked her soft fur. he had went to change his clothes.
"okay so apparently we're meeting at 이리카페 YRI café?" i cocked my head to the side. "huh, weird."
"see, i told you so!" he briefly looked away from his clothes to stuck his tongue out at me.
"be quick, would you?" i glared at him. he grumbled under his breath and continued searching for a decent pair of pants and shirt. "you should wear that blue and white striped collared button-up, it looks good."
"hmm, i think i will." he picked out the button-up that i mentioned and lay it on his arm, taking a black jean jacket and a pair of jeans.
"you're really going for an all jean material day, aren't you?" i laughed as he nodded.
"it looks good, so why not?" he shrugged. "look away now, i'm gonna take off my shirt."
"you act as if i haven't seen you shirtless before," i snorted as he proceeded to take off his shirt and change into the button-up. i looked away when he took off his pants because i'm still a girl, you know. he took what felt like eternity and finally came out, his brown hair combed back and a pair of thin, orange sunglasses.
"let's go," he took a small backpack and put his power bank, charger and wallet inside. he took a mask and a hat to try and disguise himself and i took out a black mask from my handbag to cover my face.
going down the elevator, one of our managers we're already waiting for us. while waiting for mino, i had told him that mino and i were going to the café and asked if he could bring us, to which he said yes. i bowed and thanked him for taking us and he said it was nothing.
"don't worry about it, i'm your manager. it's what i'm supposed to do," he chuckled. i thanked him again and climbed into one of the many seats in the car, hiding myself in the back right corner.
"did he tell you who he was bringing?" mino asked from my right.
"nope, not even the gender." i frowned. "knowing yuta, if i asked, he'd probably still not tell me."
mino nodded and went back to what he was doing, an air of comfortable silence surrounding us. not too long after, we arrived at our destination.
"so here it is," i took a deep breath and climbed out of the car. mino came out right after me, his height proving to be a good shield from the sun. walking in the café, i was greeted by a waitress.
"hello, how can i help you two?" she asked politely.
"hi, we're just looking for two people that we're joining today," i smiled. "do you happen to have anyone by the name of yuta nakamoto?"
"ah, yes we do! i'll bring the both of you to him." she gestured for us to follow her as she brought us into a much quieter area. there were rooms for more privacy and names on the doors for reservations, and i saw yuta's at the very end. "here you are!"
"thank you so much!" mino and i bowed. she bowed back, telling us to press the button on the table if we need anything.
as she walked away, i took a deep breath.
"are you okay?" mino furrowed his eyebrows at me. "do you want me to knock on the door?"
"yes please," i mumbled, stepping back go let him get nearer to the door. "thank you."
"no problem, chaeng." he smiled at me and politely knocked on the door, opening it slightly. "yuta-ssi, may chaeyoung and i come in?"
"please do!" i heard him say. mino beckoned me in, opening the door wider. i bit my lip and plastered on a smile, sitting opposite of yuta. mino sat on my left, facing the girl yuta brought.
"chaeyoung! it's been so long since i've seen you!" he leaned over the table to hug me and i stood up to hug back. yeah right, i thought. it's not my fault we haven't seen each other in so long.
"who's this?" i gestured to the girl he brought.
"this is hirano akira, she's an old friend of mine from japan." he stared at her fondly, love clear in his eyes. "and she's my girlfriend."
i found it hard to breathe after that. mino glances at me worriedly and pat my thigh reassuringly, telling me that he was there for me. i was glad i brought him along.
a frown briefly placed itself on my face before i regained my composure and smiled again.
"ah, it's nice to meet you." i stood up and gave out my hand for her shake. she stood up and shook my hand, immediately sitting back down.
"so, tell us about yourself." mino asked rather nicely.
"konichiwa, i'm hirano akira as you already know. feel free to call me akira though. i'm born on the 15 of november 1995. i went to the same preschool, middle school and high school as yuta. our parents are also best friends with each other so we met each other when we were young." she turned to look at yuta with sparkling brown eyes and he looked back at her with the same affection.
i could feel my heart break a little bit more.
"i'm also part of the new sm girl group q-ueen, and i am the main vocalist and visual. please support me!" mino and i both nodded unsurely. well, i can definitely see why she's the visual. with long, natural light brown hair and those sparkling brown eyes, it's not that hard to see why. her double-eyelids and plump lips as well as thin figure play a big role too.
"i don't think we need to introduce ourselves since you seem to know us already," i painfully grinned at her. "or you don't?"
"no, i do!" she grinned back. "i really like your group!"
"thank you," mino smiled. "now, i think chaeyoung and i are getting hungry. should we look at the menu?"
"oh, akira and i already ordered. sorry," yuta apologised as he handed us the menu. biting my lip, i started to flip through the menu. deciding to order a glass of iced water to cool me down in this hot summer and a bowl of salad with chicken and steak mixed in. i nudged mino to see if he was done deciding and since he nodded yes, i pressed the black button at the edge of the table near me.
the same waitress came by and greeted us again, asking what we wanted. i read out the food and drink i wanted and let mino read out his, awkwardly playing with my fingers whilst waiting for the time to pass. deciding that i've had enough of keeping my emotions in, i texted the 6X group chat.
keeping true to their words of being online all the time, they replied almost a second later.
(a/n: rant, not rang)
(please excuse my typo, i meant to put how dare you all do this to me instead of how are you all do this to me :( )
wiping the tears from my eyes, i closed my phone and leaned my head on mino's shoulder. he sent me a soft smile and pat my back.
"we're always gonna be here for you, even in your darkest times." he whispered.
"thank you," i sniffled. closing my eyes, i let out a breath i didn't realise i was holding. i didn't know if they were looking at me, but i didn't care. if he doesn't, why should i?
besides, it's not like it'll affect him in any way. no matter who i date, he'll still be with akira.
"is chaeyoung okay?" i heard yuta ask.
"yeah, she's fine. she's just tired, that's all." mino replied for me. we sat in comfortable but awkward silence after that, waiting for the food to come. since they ordered first, it was expected their food would arrive earlier. our food arrived not too long after, and i happily dug in.
i'll admit i was a bit shocked at how much akira ate. usually, rookie groups are put on diets until a year or two in but it seemed like akira has no rules or diets. she was eating a huge plate, filled with meats of all kinds. salmon, steak, chicken — you name it, it was probably there. there was also some miso soup and a bowl of rice to accompany it, but who am i to judge what or how she eats?
if her manager scolds her it's not my problem. i'm not the one controlling her diet, so it's none of my business. plus, i like to eat so judging her is kinda like judging myself in a way. long story short, i shouldn't be judging her because then i'd be judging myself.
watching yuta and akira be all lovey-dovey was painful if i'm honest. they'd feed each other and do all the couple stuff and couples do. hmm, maybe mino and i should make up an excuse about how we got called back to yg urgently. besides, if we both manage to escape, it's a win-win situation. yuta gets to spend more time with his girlfriend (who WORKS in the same company as him, may i add) and we get to escape their lovey-dovey-ness.
"do you wanna leave?" i whispered quietly to mino. we both had already finished our meals and we're now deciding if we want dessert or not. obviously, yuta and akira seem to already have decided.
"honestly, yes." he mumbled back, pretending to flip through the dessert menu. "how are we going to get out?"
"i'm pretty sure we can just tell him that we need to go, but we can ask one of the members to urgently text us in case he wants to see proof." i suggested.
"good idea, i'll text yoon to do it." mino winked and took his phone. i silently smiled to myself and closed the menu, 'deciding' not to get anything. "okay, so yoon has replied and i've already texted our manager. he'll be here in five minutes."
"sounds like a plan," i murmured back. "hey, yuta and akira, something came up."
"you're leaving already?" he frowned as akira cuddled deeper into his chest. "we were just about to order dessert."
"you guys can still stay, it's just that something in practice came up that we really need to go learn." mino replied, opening his imessage app, ready to show him the texts. "besides, we didn't really want dessert anyways."
"here's our share of the pay," i placed 50,000 won in front of him. "you guys can keep the change if there is any."
"it's fine, we can pay—" yuta was cut off by akira whining about wanting her dessert.
"well, see you soon." i awkwardly smiled and slipped out of the room, waving goodbye. mino followed me out as we made our way around the maze like tables and saw our manager.
"manager-nim!" mino whisper-shouted to get his attention. it somehow worked, because he started to look for where the sound came from. once he spotted us, he opened the door and beckoned us in. once we jumped in, he closed it and went to the driver's seat.
"thank you for picking us up," i gratefully mowed my head.
"it's no problem," he waved it off. "i'm supposed to take care of you guys."
"we're lucky to have such a caring manager," mino smiled. i caught our manager blushing at mino's compliment. giggling quietly to myself, i looked out the window. resting my head on my hand, i zones out and thought about yuta and i.
why is it that the first time we've actually hung out have to be when he wants to introduce me to his girlfriend? am i really that insignificant to him?
knowing that the reason behind his ignorance to me was because of a stupid ducking girlfriend hurts. it hurts to know that i, as his supposed 'best friend', seems to matter almost nothing to him after he gets a girlfriend. the best part is that the girlfriend is his childhood friend whom i have never heard of before in any time he's talked to me about osaka.
fantastic, isn't it?
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i hid in seungyoon's chest as i let my tears flow freely. the members were all sat on the couch, listening to my stupid rants.
"it's just so stupid, you know?" i sniffled as yoon stroked my hair soothingly and grey pat my back comfortingly. "i'm crying over a guy who doesn't care about me! why am i crying over him?"
"there can be multiple reasons on why you feel so hurt, and knowing that you have feelings for him makes everything ten times harder." hanbin replied. "sure, if you didn't have feelings for him maybe it wouldn't be so tough. but because of a... complicated thing we call emotions, this pain is intensified because your heart is hurting. it knows that the someone it believed as the perfect person for you had ended up being with another, and it needs time to heal. so give it time to heal."
"besides, you can always, always confide in us. we're your best friends, your family." donghyuk wiped my tears.
"when's our comeback for i'm ok?" i asked as they laughed.
"in a week," mino smiled. "can't wait?"
"i just want to busy myself."
"understandable," grey covered me with a cream coloured blanket that was incredibly soft. seungyoon's dog thor then came to rub his fluffy head on my cheek, a soft giggle passing my lips as he sneezed.
"just take the rest of the day to rest, alright? tomorrow we can do anything you want." seungyoon offered. we all dived into comfortable silence as mino got up to take a stuffed animal from grey's room downstairs.
i am extremely lucky to be blessed with such caring members that would do anything for me. i hope they know i would do anything for them.
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"you've broken every piece of me when you laughed out
as if my sadness didn't mean anything to you
leave me alone, don't come to me
i don't want to start anything when i know you're going to leave me in the end." i sang to myself in the practice room as seungyoon, hanbin and donghyuk went to get lunch. we were practicing the choreography for what felt like the nth time of the day and i didn't mind.
apparently, we're going against nct 127 with their new single 'back to back'. the release dates of the songs are extremely close together, so i figured we're very likely to compete against them. as the release date of 'i'm ok' gets closer, the pressure rises. we have one of the most anticipated comebacks of 2019 even though it's barely the start of the year. as an idol group that is in one of the biggest companies in south korea, we have extremely high expectations. especially after what we gave in 2018, i think people expect the same, if not more, in 2019.
the only real thing i'm afraid about is talking to yuta. i don't want to talk to him at all. call me petty, but i think you'd do the same if you were in my situation.
besides, our new single is really what describes me right now. despite the fact that i am most definitely not okay to my group members, i think i'm fine. yes, i am sane enough to admit that.
as soon as the three boys came back with food however, any thoughts about stress left my mind as i excitedly stood up.
"food?!" i skipped towards them, admiring the bags of food in their hands.
"yup," yoon pat my head as he handed the bag to me. "it's bibimbap."
"thank you so much oppa!" i hugged all three of them.
"you're welcome chaeng," hanbin laughed. "give this to grey for us."
"okay!" i took the bag in my left hand and walked towards where she was. "grey-ah! food!"
"food?" she immediately turned around with a smile. "food!"
i handed the bag in my left hand and sat next to her. opening the container, i took the chopsticks and started eating. grey did the same.
"so," she started slowly. "how are you?"
"okay i guess," i shrugged. "i mean, i guess i could be better."
"yeah, maybe." she sighed. as i finished my food, i placed the trash in the plastic bag and tied it to throw later. resting my head on her shoulder, i let a few tears drip out. she consolingly rubbed my shoulder, and we stayed like that for the remainder of our break.
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"i feel like everyone has turned their back on me
i feel bad for myself, i feel so small." i sang into the mic at the inkigayo stage. our fans were cheering wildly for us and i could multiple signs and banners with our names on it. my heart warmed at the sight, and i bit my lip subtly to hide my smile.
with the intense choreography and my focus on singing and the fans, it helped me forget that yuta was backstage watching me.
but once i got off, however, i felt his eyes burning holes in me. i didn't dare to look at him though, knowing full well my feelings would burst and i'd be a mess on the floor. thankfully, my members caught onto my nervous actions and quickly shielded me away.
though, he came to visit me after the show ended.
"you did great today," he smiled that smile that i loved but slowly grew to hate. "your singing and dancing were on point and your outfit suit you well."
"thank you," i replied politely, taking the remainder of my things in the dressing room to put in my bag. my hair was covering my face and i couldn't see him. it was a blessing in disguise, if i'm being honest. "how are you and akira?"
"we're doing well," i could head the happiness in his voice. "sm has approved of ours relationship."
"that's good to hear," i briefly turned to congratulate him, a painful smile residing on my face.
"hey, is something wrong?" he asked all of a sudden, rendering me shocked at the sudden question.
"no, why would you think so?" i closed my bag and looked at him, biting the inside of my cheek to prevent me from saying anything else.
"well, you've been ignoring me a lot lately. not to mention the fact that when i text you, it takes awhile for you to reply unlike how you usually do." he listed off from the top of my head. with every word, my heart broke a little more and my anger grew a little more. "and whenever akira is mentioned you seem to be a bit on the edge. what's going on?"
i didn't want to ruin this friendship.
but i guess that would've been proved to be inevitable, huh?
"can i be honest for just a second?" i took a deep breath. "i hate it. i hate the feeling of knowing that you'll never love or like me half as much as you love akira. yes, i get it. i get that i'm nothing compared to akira but couldn't you at least try to pretend you care? all those times without talking to you, without knowing that you were probably out with her, it made my heart hurt and left me confused. i didn't know if you wanted to still be friends or left as strangers — because you told me nothing. i tried talking to you. i tried everything in my power but you — you completely disregarded, threw me to the side like i was a doll that you got tired of playing with.
"a-as much as i love you, my heart needs a break too." i choked back a sob, forcing myself to look away. "i don't think we should be friends anymore, if we ever were in the first place."
"chaeyoung..." he reached to grab my hand, which i snatched away.
"chaeng?" hanbin knocked on the door, looking at us curiously. "we're leaving now. i'll wait for you out here."
i nodded and took my bag, looking at yuta one last time.
"i'm sorry." i whispered and i left, leaving the door open behind me for when he decided to leave.
"you okay?" he pat my back, pulling me close.
"no," i mumbled back truthfully, struggling to hold my tears.
"stop for a moment," he pulled me to a halt and dug into his bag for something. "here."
"thank you," i murmured, taking the tissue and dabbing it on my eyes. we continued walking as i clung onto him sadly. my face was hidden in the sleeve on his sweater, hiding my face away from the many fans that came to see us.
"we're almost there, just a little bit more." he mumbled, guiding me to the car. i heard the door open and he softly pat me on the head, signalling that we could go in. i climbed in silently, taking a seat next to donghyuk. resting my head on his shoulder, i sighed quietly.
"take a nap on my lap if you'd like," he smiled. "grey's already asleep on my shoulder."
a nap is something i could definitely use, and donghyuk's thighs were the perfect place if i'm being honest. laying my head on his lap, he placed his free hand over my waist, resting it on the free space that i left.
maybe i'm meant to be alone.
maybe i'm meant to have no one.
maybe i need to get better at being alone so that if this happens again, i'm not going to be disappointed anymore. and maybe that way, i won't lose someone so close to me.
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a/n:
1. this has a really confusing plot lol i'm sorry
2. this was crap :(
3. i need to actually do my requests wtf
anyways, hope some of you liked this c: