I was laying against Ryder's naked body, between his legs while our hands were clasped and laced. Though I could feel and relate to Ryder's exhaustion, he was also very awake and caressing his thumb around my bare hip while his hand that was clasped to mine was lifted for his examination. I flattened out my hand as his gripped mine tightly. He kissed my shoulder from beneath me.
"You know you want to hold my hand," he teased and then kissed my shoulder once more, allowing a euphoric stirring run through me folds less than the other sensations he had given me during sex. We laughed lightly and I turned my head to kiss him. We shifted our positions on the couch and his arm was wrapped around my shoulder with his opposite hand holding onto the crease in my leg to make sure I wouldn't fall of the couch despite being halfway on him.
I surprisingly felt no guilt or naivety or emptiness from losing my virginity to him just now. I felt heightened more than anything. Especially at how he stared and studied my face as if every time he did it I looked different. Only this time, the obvious teenage girl within me started to blush and forge a smile and avoid eye contact with him. "What?"
"Don't 'what' me and then look away," he said in a chuckle. I'm sure if he wasn't clutching onto me to save me from gravity, he would've grabbed my chin to look at him, but I granted that eye contact on my own despite him repositioning himself to pull me more onto the couch and him into a more sitting than laying position. "You're beautiful."
"And that's why you're looking at me?"
"Not entirely, but at least it's not a lie," he joked before leaning over to kiss me. I smiled and kissed him back briefly.
"But what are you thinking about?" I asked him.
"Absolutely nothing," he answered and I narrowed my eyes. "Swear to God. In this moment, I'm not thinking about anything and it's so goddamn blissful for once."
"Mm..."
"Okay I lied," he said, causing me to raise an eyebrow. "I'm thinking about our wolves when we had sex on the trip."
I remembered it too. How our animalistic behavior acted like two mating wolves that knew how the deed was done for centuries of its existence. How nothing else mattered. How all attention was on us. How every scent and kiss and touch was soft and aggressive all at the same time. But more than that, I had remembered tonight how our kissing heated up to where Ryder's canines had sprouted and his eyes had glowed. Like always, he shut them tightly and paused, only to ask me if I truly wanted this. And I did. His teeth didn't immediately repeal along with his sharpened claws, but he grasped my waist even tighter and kissed me harder as if using his wolf's strengths in all the right parts of my weaknesses.
And then in my memory of it all, I saw Ryder's big red eyes flash in my brain without looking at him. It was to get my attention. Not only as a warning that he had read my mind, but also because they were sad. It took me two seconds to clue in. I looked up at him.
"I don't regret it," I whispered to him. He sighed and looked up at the ceiling while he tried concealing his grin. "Calm down. Don't get a big ego. I'm not saying you're, like, the best ever, but I'm saying I wouldn't take it back."
"Not the best ever?" he looked at me with mischief in his eye. I felt his hands start to stir. "Ashlynn Everton, to you I am the best ever," he refuted before pulling me closer and attacking me with kisses wherever he could while I pretended to be embarrassed by them. But when he had circled up to my head, he paused briefly before pressing his lips to mine where I wanted to keep them. I deepened the kiss and felt his hands cup my butt and lower back in excitement, but then he pulled away. His smile had dropped. "Was this okay?"
To Ryder, it was more than asking if the sex was fine. He was asking about the comforts and timing and anything else that could complicate us. I reached over and kissed him quickly before laying my head on his chest.
"It was more than okay," I told him. And I meant it with all my heart and lady parts included. We both sighed heavily at the same time and let the moment fall silent.
"I do regret one thing though," he muttered, causing me to frown. I looked up at him. "I only had two condoms and we just used one, so—"
"Shut up," I laughed before slapping his torso. He ended up catching my arm and lightly biting the base of my hand. Our eyes met and had a playful demeanor to them, but as soon as my muscles so much as tightened to make another move, he had rolled us off the couch to clatter to the floor where I swiftly straddled him. He noted the position with a proud and amused smirk that made me think his power-hungry self would take me off of him, but he simply held his hands up in a defensive position as if letting his wolf bow down to me. I thought of all the things I could do to get him back, but I ended up leaning over to kiss him lightly on the lips.
"Huh," he hummed at my benevolence before his hands lightly found my waist. I narrowed my eyes at him when I pulled away from his face, but he was just as weary towards what I'd do. But by then I had thought of a way to make him suffer. I grabbed his grown out hair and held his head to the floor, causing him to laugh in a condescending fashion to predict what I'd do. I turned his face to the side before kissing slowly down his temple, to his jaw, and then hovered at the crease of his neck. I had known that while he had found the soft spot for me near my collarbone, I knew his was right here. "Don't you dare," he challenged. I eased up and looked at the severity of his face.
Earlier in the night I had found this soft spot for him and used it to my discretion, but I also knew that the neck was a weak spot in any animal. Wolves considered that access to a neck was either extreme trust or immediate death. Werewolves especially associated the area with the lowly feeding/killing habits of vampires. This being said, I assumed an alpha werewolf wouldn't just want his girlfriend to exploit the one sensitive area that could control his being.
But I did it anyways.
I moved slowly and caressed the side of his neck so lightly that it could've been felt like air before I had playfully bit inches away from it—towards his shoulder before returning to kiss his neck once more. And then suddenly, his grip tightened on my waist and he pinned me beneath him and moved swift enough to join both of my hands in one of his above my head on the floor. I couldn't tell if he was angry or turned on, but I knew which one I was.
"I was going to suggest us to get a bit more creative in the meantime considering we're down to one condom," he hissed down to me in nothing but fury, but I wasn't buying it, "but you're acting like you want another round right now," he finished with a brilliant smile before sealing our lips and causing me to laugh as he mimicked a rushed embrace like you saw in movies, only I knew he was joking. He frantically kissed me all over my face and torso while I laughed from also being tickled. But then he stopped and looked down at me while propping himself up. "I love you so much."
"I love you too," I said before kissing him and turning our playful moment into a more intimate one.
Later that night after we had finished and talked and laid there, I was sure Ryder had fallen asleep. I sat up and quickly put on Ryder's oversized shirt because I was actually cold in the few seconds I wasn't cuddled up to a space heater of a boy. I looked over and saw him breathing so full and rhythmically that I didn't know he could master without jolting awake at the slight inkling that something was going on with his mom or brother or pack. It was actually quite peaceful to see him so relaxed and plain instead of being a muscular guy that took up most of the room with his demanding presence. Here, he was just my Ryder and a normal seventeen year old boy looking as blissful as could be. I laid back down where I had been and my return had caused him to stir by throwing one arm around my waist and pulling me into him. I didn't know if it was instinctive for him to do so, but it was so comforting and warm and cherished that it didn't matter. But then I felt him sigh before he grumbled: "Stop thinking about how adorable I am. It's killing my masculinity."
"You don't need masculinity when you're sleeping," I whispered back.
"I wasn't sleeping," he yawned in his denial. I wanted to look over my shoulder and give him a look, but he nudged me. "Shut up."
"Good night," I wished in a laugh.
"Good night," he returned before sighing and kissing my back. I felt him pause. "Is that my shirt? Oh no, the theft of my belongings begins...—"
"Good night," I repeated and heard him attempt at a groan before pulling me into him and feeling my body surrender to fatigue.