Free Me From the Wolves

[19] Love Sick

When I felt a hand press into the soft material to my side, I woke up. Immediately, I felt my heart leap for fear of the unknown, but almost instantly, I was calmed to see Ryder sitting at my side with his feet hanging over the edge of the bed while his arm was across my body so he could face me and support his weight. With the dimness of the room, I didn't know if it was night time or the next morning. But I could still see his beautiful smile.

"I didn't imagine the first time you would sleep in my bed overnight you'd be by yourself the whole time," he tried to humor, but I couldn't fathom a smile because I was suddenly feeling my stomach turn at the thought of what did or didn't happen in regards to Zander. Or maybe it was still effects of whatever he drugged me with. Either way, I pushed Ryder away from me so I could climb over his bed, trip over his sheets, and sprint to the restroom to puke...only, all that I threw up was spit and by the time I realized it, Ryder was right there behind me, holding my hair back. I sat to the side of the toilet and felt my headache appear for a second and then try to dissipate. I put my head in my hand and Ryder only watched me as he kneeled.

"I'm sorry," he began with a sigh and I narrowed my eyes at him. "This is my fault...I shouldn't have—"

"This is Zander's fault," I interrupted. I waited for him to slightly narrow his eyes in question for my accusation, but it never happened. He only sighed once more and looked down at his lap.

"It's not," he denied. What? He looked up at me and I was angry and still feeling my stomach turn. "Remember how I said once before that us being apart is generally a bad idea? Well it's not just generally. It's physically hindering for us to be separate over a full moon apparently. I didn't know it until Stormy blew up at me."

"But Zander—"

"—put something in your drink, I know," he finished and I wondered why he was so cool with this. "But this isn't totally from that. This is what would've happened if we continued to be away from each other if you weren't a wolf." Now, my brain was spinning just from that knowledge alone. "That's why this bond's strength is so dangerous. It's easy to hurt each other without much effort."

Ryder put an arm around my waist to help pull me up, but I wasn't so convinced on moving from an easy vomit-disposal area—even if there was nothing technically in my stomach to come up.

"Then why the hell does Zander get to?"

"He didn't," Ryder sighed as I made it to my feet, but now, I was feeling my knees weaken and my limbs go numb. It wasn't the feelings that Ryder always stirred; it was something different. "What he put in your drink he got from Colin. It...it sort of simulates the weakness one would have without the rapid healing of a wolf or if we were human."

"Why would Colin have that?" I asked.

"People handle the Bite in different ways and Colin wanted to still feel human pain," Ryder shrugged. He suddenly swooped me off my feet and carried my bridal style, but not without making eye contact with me. "He gave it to Zander because they knew that if you were sick, I'd come back. This is how you'd be if you were human and I was away from you like I was."

He walked back into his room and then placed me lightly onto his bed and sat like he did once before.

"I heard them think about giving it to you once or twice with Zander's overall decision—since it was in his possession—so I guess I was really being an asshole to everyone more than usual this week if he finally agreed," he added.

"Not as much as Zander," I said and realized that I possessed the same caution towards him that Ryder used to have. He drugged me after all.