__________________
She didn't know where she was going. Her steps were heavy, her eyes unseeing.
She looked to the tree where she used to climb and play.
Madara held his hands up, hovering around his little niece. "Hana, don't go too far up!" He warned.
"I'm fine, uncle!" Hana used chakra to stick her feet to the tree.
"You're going to fall!"
"No, I won't!"
Hana looked away from the tree.
"I'm falling now, uncle," she murmured, clutching the center of her chest that ached, "and you won't be there to catch me anymore."
She walked until she knocked on the door in front of her. It opened, Kagami's eyes falling on the soaked form of his little cousin.
"Hana—" He said in alarm as she collapsed into his arms. He picked her up before closing the door, seating her on the chair. Hana shuddered, grasping his shirt as she jolted. "Shh, it's okay, I got you Hana," Kagami murmured, holding her close to his chest.
"Kagami-nii," Hana said shakingly, "ojisan....he...." her fist squeezed tightly as liquid agony poured down her cheeks.
She spilled out everything, from Madara to the murder of her father and the suicide of her mother. Kagami listened, stroking the top of her head all the while.
"Hana," Kagami murmured at the end, pulling her into an embrace.
Hana felt the burning of her eyes yet again. Kagami noticed her wince of pain, looking into her eyes.
"Shit," he cursed.
"Kagami-nii..." Hana whispered, "it hurts."
"Oh I'm sorry princess," Kagami held her close, eyes darkening, "you shouldn't have to go through this; you deserve far much better."
Hana felt her throat tighten, the barriers that held her strong all tumbling down in Kagami's warm embrace. She hiccuped, still shaking with sobs. "Kagami, I miss ojisan. I miss tousan and kaasan; I don't even remember what they looked like. I wish...I wish things weren't like this."
Kagami soothingly rubbed her back. "It'll get better, Hana, I promise. This pain will dull with time."
"What if it doesn't?"
"It will," Kagami promised, "and I will do everything in my power to make sure it stays that way."
Hana felt choked by her tears, feeling the bitter saltiness clogging her throat over and over again. In brief moments, the fury and rage would return as well, along with the desire for vengeance. And then the paralyzing fear would return, the fear of being consumed by that darkness.
"Is...is this the Curse Of Hatred?" Hana asked faintly as Kagami gave her a level look. Hana began to understand why so many of her kinsmen were consumed by this sweeping loathe pounding through her heart and blood.
"We never truly lose the ones we love until we forget the impact that they've had over our lives," Kagami murmured, pressing his forehead against Hana's. "Hana, I knew your uncle as one of the most brilliant and ruthless warriors of his time. I know that now, he is branded a traitor but I will never forget how soft the hardened warrior became whenever he saw you. He loved you, Hana, even though his decision to leave is flawed, it must have cost him dearly."
"Tobirama...he lied to me," Hana murmured, "he killed my father. And he must have sent me on the mission the night my uncle fought Hashirama....to keep me away...all because he didn't trust me."
Kagami smoothed her hair. "Betrayal is nothing new, Hana," he murmured, "but would it have made a difference if he told you that he was your father's killer beforehand?"
Hana pressed her lips together, unable to answer.
"I can't forgive him," Hana murmured, "you know I can't."
"I'm not ordering you to forgive him, Hana, I'm only asking you to think of things in other's point of view; to not become blinded by your own hatred."
Hana was quiet for a moment, her hands squeezed tightly. Then, she spoke.
"Ojisan told me that mother loved me with all her heart. Today, I learned that she committed suicide. Was he lying about that too? Did mother never love me enough to stay alive?" She whispered.
Kagami felt his own eyes sting with tears, looking down at the once bright and happy face, now crumpled with grief and rage. "I can't answer that, Hana," he murmured, "but dwelling on that won't help anyone. For now, rest. Rest and get your bearings."
Hana fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow, drifting into a dreamless sleep. Kagami stood by her, watching over her and holding her tight for the whole night.
_______________
Hana sat before Hashirama, Tobirama standing by his side.
The man looked worse for wear and Hana saw that the picture of Haruto was missing. "Hana," Hashirama murmured, "how....how are you?"
Hana knew he didn't mean to phrase it like that but anger still boiled inside of her. "Fine," she said curtly, eyes narrowing, "just fine."
"You've gained your Mangekyo Sharingan." It was a statement, not a question.
Hana nodded once.
"You despise me, I understand," Hashirama lowered his head, "I would too, should I be in your place. I broke my promise to you, I know, and I am truly sorry. Your uncle could not be persuaded and he—"
"I know why you did what you did."
Both adults snapped up to look at her. Hana's arms were crossed, her face impenetrable as marble. "And I hate the fact that I understand," Hana murmured, "more than anything, I want to despise you forever but I can't. But neither can I forgive you. However, we both have the same goal to keep the village safe and that is the only reason why I will restrain myself from doing so. I will continue to commit myself to ANBU and its missions as well as your orders—all in the name of this village. I won't follow the footsteps of my uncle and use my Sharingan against you. But under two conditions."
"Name it," Hashirama nodded.
"The first is your promise to treat the Uchiha fairly," Hana said, "I know my kinsmen will be held in disfavor with this incident. I want your word that you will not take away their ruling power."
"I swear it," Hashirama said.
"Good," Hana said, "and the second is to move my uncle from his unmarked grave and bury him next to my father."
She looked at Tobirama as she said this, meeting the red eyes of her former sensei. He nodded slowly, eyes narrowed.
"That is all," she said coolly, inclining her head, "arigato, Hashirama-sama."
She turned to leave, about to close the door behind her but her wrist was caught in a strong grip. Hana turned to see Tobirama.
"Is there anything I can help you with?" Hana asked in a polished, polite voice. However, Tobirama could see that she was merely detaching herself from the rest of the world.
"Why are you letting your hatred go so easily?" He asked calmly.
"Who said I was letting go of my hatred?" Hana asked, prying her wrist away from his grasp, "I'm not doing this for either of you."
"Then for who?"
Hana looked up coldly. "I don't even remember what my mother and father look like, Tobirama-dono, and you should know that I will never forgive you for killing my father, nor for withholding the truth from me for years. I'm doing this because I know better than to seek revenge against you when you have people that love and care about you. Haruto, Hiro, Hiruzen, Koharu, Homura...they all hold you in high love and respect. I won't do to them what you did to me, and I won't get consumed by revenge. For better or worse, you are part of this village, and I swore to my uncle that I will protect everyone in this village. That is why I'm doing this. So that my uncle will not have died only for what the village perceives as evil."
Tobirama stared down at the Uchiha girl, who began to turn and leave.
For years afterwards, he would not understand why he said what he said.
"There was not a day that I didn't regret not telling you the truth."
Hana stopped, freezing in her place. Then, she slowly pivoted on her heel in order to face him.
"So why didn't you?" She whispered softly.
Tobirama looked straight into those burning black eyes.
"Because if I did, I would only regret it all the more."
Silence.
"Live with that regret for the rest of your life," Hana turned her head, "that is how you can repay that guilt you feel. And I will feel my regret as well, for the rest of my days."