Nalini was nervous. Every time she saw the Duke, her heart would skip a beat and her palms would start to sweat incessantly. The worst thing of all was that she found herself wanting to be with him all the time.
It was a problem because she felt like she was being too obvious about her feelings for him that were becoming ever more confusing as each day passed. It was also a problem since whenever she was teaching Richard or playing with him, her mind would wander towards the man that had found a place in her heart somehow.
She couldn't keep the smile off of her face, and by the look that she was being given by Nora at that moment made it all the more obvious that she was smitten.
Clearing her throat, she tried to relax her face and turned back to the book called 'Manual of Etiquette' that was placed in front of Richard.
He couldn't read yet but she was so disoriented about the event that happened last week that she found herself not thinking straight at times.
"Miss? What're we doing?" Richard asked, confused just as Nora placed down the plate of sandwiches in front of him. Nalini cleared her throat and smiled at him, trying to appear as normal as she could.
"We're going to start studying the ways in which we address other people, our actions and our manners too."
Richard pouted, his shoulders sagging in boredom. "Okay, miss," he whispered in dismay.
Nalini almost wanted to scrap the whole idea, but the book was given to her by the head maid of the house. She was told that it was the most important thing that could be taught to the kids of royalty and Nalini couldn't neglect her work.
"Don't worry, Richard, we won't be studying this for long. You can relax and play a little while later, okay?" she advised, immediately feeling a surge of joy as a smile spread across his small face.
"Okay then miss, I'll study hard!" he exclaimed, bouncing in excitement. Nalini laughed but stopped short when the Duke came out of his study, face stern. Even though he looked busy and irritated, Nalini couldn't help but forget about everything else and just focus on him.
His eyes, his lips that were on hers just a week ago. A pleasant shudder ran through her body as she thought back to the moment like she always did. She rolled her bottom lip under her teeth, eyes on the Duke, waiting for him to glance at her.
Nalini didn't want to admit it, but after the kiss that they shared, she thought things would have been different. However, nothing really did. It felt like the moment they had shared only happened in her imagination as everytime the Duke came around, she would be the only one to look in his direction.
He wouldn't even spare her a glance and Nalini was beginning to think the Duke didn't take what happened that day seriously.
Did he...did he even mean what he did that day?
As that thought fluttered around in her head, the smile on her face slowly disappeared as the Duke handed an envelope to the footman, barking some orders at him before walking back into his study. She knew he was busy but it didn't take much to just glance at her.
She wanted to feel as loved as he had made her feel that day. Nalini's stomach wrenched in guilt at how selfish she was being, but she couldn't help it. It felt as if the Duke's behaviour was just a lie. Nalini knew that she was being dramatic, but she couldn't help it.
She couldn't help but feel as if she was the only one feeling love.
To be fair, he never said he liked me. Or loved me.
Her heart sunk at that realisation and as each moment passed with him not even glancing in her direction, she knew it had to be true. It was as if what happened between them was never real. Nalini stared at him despite it though, willing him in her mind and heart to turn to her.
Even if it was just one glance, she would be happy.
But he never did.
***
Alastair sneered at the letter in his hands before scrunching it up. It was biting cold in his room, to the point where his fingers were numb. He wasn't bothered by it, however, due to the rage that was dawning within him.
He could not believe the nerve of Landon to speak of Edward's wish to propose to Nalini and how the rake Landon wanted 'a taste of her luscious skin.' Alastair knew the letter was to provoke him and though he did not want to be, he was.
The vile way in which he spoke of her caused his muscles to tense and for his hands to quake with fury. He wanted to storm to wherever the man was settled and haul him out onto the street to give him a beating he most well deserved.
Of course, that would only damage his already damaged reputation and he had to refrain from doing many things he wanted.
Alastair let out a distressed sigh out through his mouth, his teeth grinding against each other as he pictured Landon endeavouring to get close to Nalini. He and his brother were getting far too intimate with her and though he wanted to stay out of her personal matters, she was under his employment and much was needed to be done to protect her from a family of poison.
Though he detested the feeling, he could not deny that he was envious of the relationship between her and Edward.
It created a dark fire in the pit of his stomach and he wanted to strangle the younger brother and Landon himself, very badly. He knew it would come a time where he would need to confront Landon and prove his horrible deeds to everyone so that his presence would very well disappear from the ones Alastair cared about most.
Alastair's eyes naturally travelled to the letter on the floor and instantly scoffed in disgust about its contents.
"How absurd!" he spat furiously, lips curled up in disgust and eyebrows furrowed deeply. He could not picture the woman whom he had come to be fond of with a man like him.
It only served to worsen his mood. However, he was satisfied to have written a letter back to Landon, informing that if he ever tried to get in contact with Nalini, his son or any of his family in the manor then he would not refrain from hurting him severely.
He was quite sure that that letter would keep him in check for a little while. If Landon were to come back, as Alastair is a man of his word, he would make sure he would not come back again.
As he leaned back in his chair, the bridge of his nose was pinched tightly to relieve his stress. His thoughts instantly went to the woman who was caught in the midst of it all.
Though he was in a terrible mood since the morn, when Nalini was wholly busy with Richard, he would gaze at her. He used every moment that was given as the moment they shared that night was one he could not easily forget.
The sad frown that framed her face just before he re-entered his study was one to smile at. Alastair very easily knew it was because of the lack of attention she was being given.
The snare that framed his lips vanished as a fond smile replaced it instead, his thoughts immediately centring on a certain dark-haired, dark-skinned woman that was seated a few feet outside his door. Yet, as soon as his mind wandered back to the letter he had been given, his mood had once again turned foul.
With a sigh, he got up and strode out of the study. Standing against the wall, he watched as Nalini spoke to Richard in a gentle manner, the anger him in him threatening to fade away at the sight. He knew how much his son loved Nalini, which made it even more simple to fall for the woman.
Alastair pushed down the feeling of affection and cleared his throat, his face stern once again.
Nalini looked up instantly, her dark eyes locking with his, stirring awake emotions that had been hidden long ago.
"I need to speak with you," he said firmly. Her eyebrows furrowed instantly and her mouth opened to question him, but without a word, he turned and went back into his study. Leaning against his desk, he ground his teeth as he waited for her.
He looked up just as the door opened, Nalini's head poking out through the gap.
"You wanted to see me, Your Grace?" she asked, her eyes darting from the floor and up to him with nervous tension.
Alastair did nothing but nod slightly, beckoning her to come in with a finger. He watched as she shuffled inside, shutting the door softly before standing a few feet away from him. A silence settled between them as he waited for her to look up at him.
But she refused to do so.
The irritation seeping in him was bothering him to a level he could not tolerate. He ground his teeth and tilted his head as he observed her face. She was biting down on her bottom lip, those very lips he had caressed not so long ago with his own and brushing back hair behind her ear.
It took everything within him to not go up to her and embrace her into his arms as it would go against his duty at that moment.
"I have heard that you have been," he cleared his throat, hearing green envy dripping in his voice himself, "proposed to."
Nalini's body stiffened and her bottom lip released from the torture of her teeth. Alastair was getting antsier as moments ticked by without a response from her. Anger was the only emotion he could feel, and he knew that if she would not respond in a matter of seconds, then he would very well unleash it.
He could feel his jaw incessantly ticking as it always did. "Have you no response to my simple question?" he asked, as calmly as he could.
"You heard right, Your Grace. But it was only out of pity."
"Pity?" He knew that the young man had feelings for her quite obviously, but he was aghast at Nalini's obliviousness. He crossed his arms, watching her with a clenched jaw and fierce stare.
Nalini gulped. She bopped her head up and down softly and he raised his eyebrows as he intended it to be purely rhetorical. Letting out a harsh sigh, he ran a hand through his previously tousled hair.
"Are you certain? That man seemed to be quite taken by you."
"Even if it wasn't out of pity, I don't have feelings for Edward, Your Grace. And after what you've told me about Landon, I would never accept. Edward is a good man, but I don't wish to be wed into that family."
His shoulders loosened and his jaw was left alone as her words were enough to soothe him. Clearing his throat, he nodded firmly. "Good. I am glad you have taken heed of my advice to stay away from Landon."
Nalini's lips widened into a bright smile aimed at him, causing him to lose all train of thought. He sucked in a sharp breath at the sight, unable to tear his gaze away from her. Nalini glanced up at him, only to freeze at his expression.
"Y-Your Grace?"
How has she made me feel this way so soon?
Alastair couldn't believe how quickly she had made her way into his heart, replacing the dark hole there that he never thought would be healed, especially by a woman of colour.
A beautiful woman of colour.
He was tired of constantly denying his feelings that had only ever been growing stronger as days had passed. He didn't know how to feel about the situation between them and what to do as his duty to his land and people had to come first.
As he stared at Nalini, a thought came to mind. She wouldn't understand why he was being cold to her; though not deliberate, he couldn't let his feelings come in the way of his duty, no matter who or what it was. He didn't want to risk exposure of their feelings and have her deal with the attention she was not ready for yet.
He couldn't do that to her.
Without a second thought, Alastair straightened up and with a lazy flick of his hand, gestured for her to leave.
"You may go now." He turned his back on her and walked around to seat himself at his desk, sorting through various letters and books.
Though he didn't look up to see Nalini's face, he knew she was dejected. Instead of soothing her ill feelings, he let her go. As the door shut, he leaned against his chair, suddenly feeling the numbing cold of the study much stronger than before.
***
Nalini was more than just hurt. She was heartbroken at the way he had treated her after what had happened. For a split second, she thought he would embrace her or even say something sweet to her to let her know that he was thinking about her just as much as she was, but he did nothing.
She didn't know how to feel, but she knew that she had just been coldly rejected. Just the thought filled her with shame as she returned to Richard who was now chatting to Nora.
"Thank you for helping Richard while I was gone," she said, seating herself beside the little boy who was focused on the book Nora was reading to him.
She smiled at her knowingly, eyes raking Nalini's facial features. "Yes, of course! I am always happy to help you, Nalini."
Nalini did nothing but nod and Nora sighed, putting the book down. She turned to Richard and whispered something to him.
He nodded and glanced at Nalini before shooting a toothy grin at her. Nora grabbed Nalini's hand and led her a few steps away from Richard.
"Would you like to share with me to what has you so bothered? I can see that you look quite down," Nora observed, her eyebrows creased in worry.
Nalini's heart felt warm at the concern she was being given.
"I'll be okay, Nora. I think I just need some time to rest and to think about everything that's been happening."
"Well, if you ever need to share, I am always here."
Nora squeezed Nalini's hands tightly, in a gesture of assurance and went to leave when Nalini stopped her.
She just wanted to spend some more time with Nora, someone who made her feel like she was a normal girl who had normal friends.
"If you are free, would you like to take a walk with me? I want to get some fresh air but don't want to be alone."
Nora's face brightened up, her blue eyes widening almost in excitement.
"Of course! Work does have my hands full so shall we go tonight? Women must not walk out and about in town at a late hour but it is the best time to relax. I am quite sure that it will help you forget about whatever it is that has upset you."
Nalini was wary about going out into the foreign and unknown again, but she didn't want to be in the same place as the Duke for a little while. Like Nora had said, she just wanted to forget about the kiss and everything else that had happened.
A part of her also wished that after tonight, her feelings for the Duke would be forgotten. As Nora went to prepare a bath for Richard, Nalini stayed with him and helped him read some poetry. She could tell that he was bored and getting antsy as he would occasionally yawn or stare out a window.
Nalini couldn't stop the smile forming on her face.
"Richard, do you remember what I told you?"
He snapped his head to look at her, his eyes innocent and wide. He blinked. "Um...you want me to read poetry again, Miss?"
She laughed. "No, I won't force you to read poetry again today, Richard. Since you were such a good boy, you can do whatever you want until it's time for your bath."
His face brightened as he stood up hurriedly. "Reaaally, Miss? Can I go play with my toys then?"
She went to nod, but before she even moved a muscle, he had raced away and up the stairs to the playroom. Soon, his blond head had disappeared behind the smooth, wooden door.
Time soon passed quickly as after dinner where Nalini ate alone in the play-room and Richard was asleep, Nora and Nalini quickly raced into the latter's room.
Considering her room was at the side of the manor, it would be easier to sneak out without anyone, especially the guards and the Duke himself, seeing.
They both giggled, Nora's face flushed red at the thrill of sneaking out. As she had seen in movies before, she gathered some long blankets and tied them at the ends before tying it to the bed stand. Then, as if she was an expert in sneaking out, she chucked the blanket out of the open window.
She was lucky her bed was closer to the window which made everything easier than she had initially thought.
"I feel like I am once again a young girl!" Nora whispered from behind her, teeth glinting in the darkness of Nalini's room.
"You mean sneaking out was something you did quite often?" Nalini joked.
Nora giggled mischievously, her eyes sparkling mischievously. "Oh, you do not know the extent of the trouble I got myself into! I do regret it all now, but now I have a friend to share it with."
She smiled to herself, helping Nora out the window. "Well, you can tell me more about it when we're safely on the ground!"
After Nora jumped, she turned to help Nalini who swung one leg out the window sill. Taking a deep breath, she went to use the long blanket as her rope shakily, but as soon as she put her full weight on it to climb down, the fabric of her dress caught on a loose nail.
Just as she jumped, a loud gasp escaped her as the horrible sound of her dress ripping echoed in the night sky. Nalini shared a horrified glance with Nora who had her hands covering her mouth.
"What am I going to do?!" Nalini hurriedly whispered to Nora who frantically glanced around, in case someone had heard the commotion.
One of the guards at the front looked around but failed to see the women who had pressed their bodies against the dark wall.
"I know exactly what to do," Nora claimed, bending down.
She grabbed the torn part of her dress and then ripped off the rest in a circular motion. Nalini's eyes bulged out of her head.
"What are you doing?!"
"Do not worry, I have done this plenty of times!" she assured her as she chucked the ripped fabric behind a bush.
Nalini didn't like the fact that it showed a lot of her legs but let out a small laugh at her luck as she couldn't really do anything else about it. It would be too tedious to try and sneak back in to get another dress.
The long dress that she had worn was now up to her knees — the rip butchered the look but it gave a modern edge to it, as if it was deliberate. She was lucky to have Nora, she knew that but she appreciated her now than ever.
"You're more creative than I gave you credit for, Nora."
Nora rolled her eyes. "I do not know if that should offend me or not, but still, I shall accept that compliment."
Before Nalini knew it, everything that had been troubling her before didn't seem to matter. They both ran off to town. There were people walking about, with many men and women staring at Nalini and her strange outfit.
She too was a bit uncomfortable with how much skin was being shown but tried to play it off as she was confident about it.
She was having too much fun to care.
Nora took her to parties they weren't invited to, and ate food and drank some juice that she had never tried back in India.
It was more interesting due to the fact that no one thought something was amiss with their presence — people seemed to be interested in Nalini's different appearance and came forward to speak to her.
They were much warmer than the people at the Duke's parties. They weren't royalty so it made more sense that they were much more friendly.
"I'm surprised no one's kicked us out yet," Nalini leaned in to whisper to Nora who was sneaking in some wine into her glass without anyone seeing.
"Shush! You do not want us to be caught do you?"
Nora's cheeks were flushed with the alcohol in her. Nalini, worried, snatched the glass away and placed it far away but to her relief, Nora didn't try to fight to get it back.
"You shouldn't drink so much, you know! You might give us away," she whispered, handing a glass of water to her instead.
"You might be right about that." Nora giggled, before grabbing Nalini's arm. "Shall we go elsewhere?"
"Yes, let's go!"
Their next destination was an alehouse; they didn't drink but were happy enough to dance with each other.
There were people in the saloon who were open-minded with Nalini's presence just like the other places they had gone to.
It gave Nalini hope and eased her worries about living in a time and world where things were different.
She didn't think she could live out without the technological world in which she came from, but this made life more fun as she was finally living in the moment.
It wasn't a life free of pain, but it was teaching her about emotions and friendships she never had in her own time and would never have gotten to experience had she was still been there.
***
"May I ask of your whereabouts?"
The Duke sat on the living room sofa, leaning back with one leg crossed over the other, whiskey glass in hand. He seemed to look relaxed but his tense frame said otherwise. Nalini gulped as the Duke's jaw clenched, taking in her appearance. His gaze raked Nalini's body down to her exposed legs and they darkened with fury.
She internally screamed as she tried to yank down the short ends to hide them but that only served to anger him more. Nora's grip on her arm tightened in an apology and she covered Nora's hand reassuringly with her own in response.
"Your Grace we are extremely sorr—"
"You have both violated my rules," he cut Nora off, his eyes pointedly on Nalini's. "Do you have anything to say?"
Nalini refused to say anything, everything she was upset about before coming back. Nora answered for both of them, instead. "We do not, Your Grace."
"There should be a reason as to why the both of you thought it wise to sneak away at night."
"W-well, it was all my fault, Your Grace—"
"I do not think that is true."
Nalini's body froze at the Duke's indirect accusation. She snapped her head up to see his eyes on no one but her. She gulped. He wasn't wrong, but she didn't want to admit it.
"Your Grace," she finally spoke, her voice a little raspy. Clearing her throat she tried again, "Your Grace, you're right. It was my fault but—"
"It was not!" Nora cut in, eyes wide. "It was my idea. If you are to punish anyone, please punish me, Your Grace."
The Duke's lips thinned as he rubbed his forehead with his fingers. He then took a swig of his whiskey before slamming the glass down on the table in front of him. "I shall punish the both of you for your actions tonight. I do not want to know whose idea this was; I want to know why you thought it wise."
"I wasn't feeling too well, Your Grace. I wanted to get some fresh air and asked if Nora would like to accompany me, that's all." Nalini hung her head down as the Duke fixed her with a hard stare.
"That is all?" Nalini was sure everyone could hear the racket and glanced upstairs to where Richard was sleeping, hoping he didn't wake up. "If you were not feeling well then you should have come to me. If it was not a matter I could fix then you should have let me know if you desired to spend time with Nora. I would have allowed it if I was notified of the situation yet the both of you crept out as if you are naive schoolgirls!"
The Duke waved them away with a dismissive hand, frustration etched all over. "Leave, now. I shall talk to you both of your punishments later; I am not in the mood tonight." Nalini knew if she said something then he would unleash his wrath more so than he already had. So, she was ready to creep away upstairs to her room. She turned to follow Nora when the Duke stopped her. "Not you, Nalini. I need to speak with you."
She slowly turned around, only to see him making his way over to her. As Nora disappeared, he stepped closer. Before she could run away from him, his arm wrapped around her waist and brought her closer.
Nalini wasn't sure if he was drunk or if it was because he was really angry, but she didn't want to stick around to find out.
"Do you know how dangerous that was?" he whispered, his voice edged with a roughness that wasn't there before. Behind the anger, she could hear the worry in his tone.
"P-Pardon?"
"You are wearing a most ridiculous outfit, showing off exposed skin that could have landed you in a very bad situation. This place is not as safe as you imagine it to be, Nalini — there are bad and good men everywhere."
"I know, Your Grace. It wasn't intentional. When we were..." she glanced up at the Duke whose narrowed eyes were pinned on her before looking back down again, "...jumping out of the window, my dress got caught on a loose nail and ripped. I had to tear off the rest so it didn't look so bad."
"I see."
In a split second, she was pushed against the wall gently. Instead of a smile, she was greeted with a small frown, the anger from before, gone. "You had me worried."
"I'm sorry, Alastair," she whispered his name, now that they were alone. He cupped her cheek, his thumb caressing her skin.
He hummed under his breath in agreement, the sound deep. "Do not do this ever again. If you want to go out, tell me. The fact that I am fond of you will not matter; I will be forced to put restraints as an employer."
Her heart soared at hearing he was fond of her. She was upset about the way he was ignoring her in the morning but was glad she wasn't imagining everything.
"You're fond of me?" she asked, despite herself. A few seconds later, he leaned down and pressed his lips against hers. She could feel the tension seeping from him to her and her chest tightened at how concerned he was on her behalf.
As the tension ebbed from his being, the affection soon displayed itself through their soft kiss, providing her with the answers to all her doubts and questions.