"Let her go..."
But no matter what the man says, no matter how intimidating he sounds with his gravelly voice, the stranger holding me in place will not release me. My heart thumps violently against my ribs. I'm shaky and helpless and terrified.
I'm a child.
"So you think you and your goons can run this shithole? You think you're kings or somethin'?" The stranger with his grip on me says. He laughs and his breath smells foul like nicotine. "Well, you're dead wrong. In this place, you should think twice before you steal other people's stock... Because rule number one— you will get stolen from as payback. You know, its too bad... don't you know anything about this place? Rule number two— always..." Smoke. Nicotine. The stranger chuckles darkly and he lowers his lit cigarette to me, inching closer to my clavicle. I whimper fearfully. "always keep your valuables protected..."
"Don't you dare," the man standing in front of us says. His face is blurry and unrecognizable, but I can tell by the blade shaking in his hand that he is furious. Every part of his body tenses and he resembles a bomb about to detonate. I want to run to him and be in his arms. "Don't you dare," He repeats again. "I'll fucking kill you, I swear to—"
"Hm? What was that?" The stranger says innocently and that's when he smashes his cigarette into my clavicle. Hard.
A scream climbs its way out of my throat. The sound of pain.
It hurts but it ends quicker than I expect, because next thing I know a sharp blade glints in the darkness and theres a swipe, and the stranger falls to the ground instantly. Dead.
"Daddy!" I wail and the man with the unrecognizable face hugs me— no, holds me. I'm fragile and weak and small and his strong arms are the embrace that keeps me sheltered.
He shushes my crying, stroking my hair gently, but I know he's sick with worry. "Let me see..." He says and pulls back to observe the injured spot. The skin burns still, irritated and inflamed and a bright shade of red. "I'm sorry," his voice cracks ever so slightly. He hugs me tightly again,
"I'm so sorry..."
✱
✱
✱
I OPEN MY EYES and witness a clear blue sky unlike the one I remember there being moments ago. Wasn't it cloudy?
Unless...
Wait...
How long was I...?
I sit up too quickly. There's a stabbing pain in the core of my head. I groan softly, sensitive to every little movement.
A pair of hands immediately try pushing me back down.
"Jean?" I say, confused. He hovers above me. Uh oh... Something bad happened. His grim expression gives it away.
"What's the last thing you remember?" Jean asks.
I look around. We are on the wall. "Reiner and Bertholdt... what happened?"
He nods defeatedly. "They got away."
I'm angry, but not surprised. "Shit..." I sigh and rub the back of my head, looking around. "So whats the next step? Where's Eren?"
"Jo..." Jean takes in a breath. He knows something I don't.
"What?" I narrow my eyes at him.
"Eren isn't here. They took him."
A sick feeling settles into my stomach. "No..." I say softly. I try to process this.
Then I remember... "we need Eren to come with us".
"You were closest to the blast and... I don't know, we think maybe you were unlucky and hit the floor too hard so thats why you blacked out. But I have to admit, as much as I despise that suicidal bastard, he actually put up a good fight. If it wasn't for Bert stepping in at the end..." He can't continue. "They took Ymir too. God knows why..."
"Well, what are we doing here?" I ask frantically. "We need to go save him!"
I try to get up but he forces me back down. "Jo," He says, "That was five hours ago. The majority of our soldiers are severely injured and can't move. There's nothing we can do right now."
No... No, no, no. Unreal. How could this happen? We lost Eren? For good?
Will I... ever see him again?
Something tight clenches in my chest. Don't cry, I order myself. Don't you dare cry...
"Do you understand?" Jean asks skeptically.
"Yes." I lie.
Not that it worked. He knows its far from the truth. And I think he's a little apprehensive of leaving me alone when he gets up to fetch me some water, fearing that I'll scramble onto a horse and ride off to save Eren.
But part of me acknowledges that doing such a thing will get me killed. It won't help our case, at all.
Hey, stupid... I think in anguish. A bittersweet smile crosses my lips and I bury my face between my knees, curling in like a shell and blocking off the rest of the world. What happened to that kiss...?
My eyes start to burn and I know that tears are coming. One by one they landed on the floor, shattering like tiny crystals.
"So... sleeping beauty has finally awakened."
I quickly wipe away my tears, embarrassed, and look up. The last person I expect to be talking to me is there, with his trademark emotionless front and wearing all black attire. Plus the cravat.
"What do you want?" I ask harshly. Although I don't mean it to sound that way. "Come here to ridicule me?"
He pays no mind to the attitude. "There's no embarrassment in crying, soldier." He moves a crate over with his foot and sits down. "And actually... I came here to..." he struggles to say the words.
I wait.
He glimpses at me and then stares forward, second-guessing himself. "It doesn't matter."
"Are you here... to check up on me?" I say, and the idea sounds improbable even to me.
"I always knew you and that titan brat had a thing going. I just wanted to make sure you hadn't jumped off the wall yet." He is transfixed on the view of the town from above.
"I'm in love, not insane." I scowl.
"Same thing."
There's a reminisce in his gaze. I don't pry or ask if he knew from firsthand experience. I know all too well it isn't my place.
Still... the Corporal... knows about love? It's a strange combination, but I feel like the more encounters I have with him, the more differently I see him.
"I just..." I mutter, "I'm tired of everything getting taken away from me. First my parents... now Eren... the cycle just goes on and on."
"Hm." I hear him say, and I feel his eyes on me now. "You think your parents were taken away?"
"Whether they walked away or were taken away... the point is they're gone." I say numbly. "When Eren and I realized our feelings for each other, I thought maybe he could help fill the void in me... but now he's gone too. All I've ever known is absence."
Huh... Since when is confessing your problems to your superior an option?Maybe I really am going insane.
There's a pause. Nothing but silence. A pair of birds fly over the town. I watch them and wish stupidly that I could fly away too.
I hear Corporal Levi get up and walk off. Which isn't surprising, to be honest. I don't expect him to comfort me. It's not a job requirement.
But within seconds, the footsteps return again.
The Corporal stands next to me. An ODM gear blade is in his hand. "Get up." He orders.
I do as told, a bit disgruntled. What now? He brandishes the blade. "Take it."
I'm confused but I take it anyways, holding it like any normal soldier.
He shakes his head. "You'll be holding it like this from now on." He changes my grip on it so that now I'm holding it backwards. "We'll be borrowing Military Police soldiers and forming a mission to retrieve Eren soon. I'm giving you one job and one job only."
"Yes, sir." I say, obsolete. "I'll bring him back."
"That's not it."
Oh. I blink.
His gaze drills into me, but even with this much eye contact I can't be sure what he's feeling or thinking on the inside. "If you bring Eren back, great. But that's not what I'm assigning you. Your one job?" He furrows his brows. "Come back alive."
꒰ 🥀 ꒱
"Keep heading north!" Commander Erwin orders us. We urge our horses to go full speed. "Once we enter the forest, spread out!"
I grip the reigns tighter. A determined fire burns inside of me. Reiner, Bertholdt... hell is coming your way.
꒰ End of Chapter 3 ꒱