Ethan
You'd think needing to stay in bed for half a week with a free pass off from school would be a pretty sweet deal, but let's be real: it sucks. After three days of it, the room is already starting to feel stuffy and cramped, and I just want to leave.
That said, I've had plenty of time to mule over the absolutely bizarre chain of events that has lead me to this hospital bed.
1. Joshua comes to me for relationship advice. We determine that he is one (1) closeted bisexual, and I'm still incredibly proud for helping him sort through that. We, as in me, also discover that he has a Thing (™) for a strange guy from his past, Seth?
2. Joshua is cagey and nervous for like a week, and doesn't want to talk to me about Seth again after. I am Suspicious.
3. Joshua's soccer game and this Mysterious Guy shows up and surprise! He's some sort of alien?? I lowkey scare off this big monster who is apparently the same guy and Joshua has a little break down. He refuses to explain anything to me after, and I am More Suspicious.
4. It's time for my baseball game, and Seth shows up?? Joshua finally talks to me when I shock him with my Spanish, and it turns out, this guy actually is an alien? Go figure? I want to talk to him, because who wouldn't? Though Joshua is reluctant and antsy and maybe I should have listened to him.
5. Next thing I know, Joshua is having some sort of panic attack/mental break down and? He hits this guy? With my fucking bat? And then we're running for our lives because holy shit, he really does turn into a monster?!
6. Lowkey set the Chem room on fire, lowkey get chewed out by the principal and lowkey I'm probably going to be suspended if I'm not already. Also lowkey I don't know what happens to Joshua and his whatever-he-is for like hours, and then when I do, they're in the parking lot and Seth looks like shit and then these black-suits show up? And now it's Seth who's going apeshit, and boom: monster again. And what do I get for trying to help? Bruised ribs, a punctured lung, and a week of hospital time. Lucky me though, didn't have to go far to get to the hospital. Yay.
7. Haven't seen or heard of either of them since.
With everything I know, a very, very strange puzzle is formed, and I only barely have enough pieces to guess at what the full picture might be like. For starters, Joshua heavily implied that he and alien-boy have some sort of history? A History that he really didn't want to talk about, and I can't help but wonder if that has something to do with how odd he's been acting lately.
Not to mention, seeing the nature of Seth, this alien monster man, it's not a stretch to assume that this History has something to do with this monster, which might better explain Joshua's odd, nervous-wreck behavior. And then, with the way Joshua acted at the baseball game... The way he sort of froze up and looked like he was far away, like he was seeing something terrible that no one else could see... And then the way he reacted to Seth reaching out to him...
Is it possible that Joshua has some sort of... post-traumatic stress disorder?
I've been trying to figure this out for days. I've known Joshua for years now, and I never really noticed if he had idiosyncrasies aside from his pretentiousness and his high-strung morals. But now that I'm thinking about it, he does have nightmares a lot. He always had. But he'd never talk about them, so I'd never ask.
If he does have PTSD, I guess it'd widely depend on what happened. What happened in the past with him, Seth, and that monster to make him so jumpy, so skittish, so haunted? Does Joshua even know that he has this disorder? If he even does at all?
I'm no doctor, but I've always associated PTSD with soldiers coming home from a war, or with domestic abuse victims...
Then again, I guess there's no specific kind of trauma that defines all trauma, or that defines what's traumatic enough to leave someone scarred.
And here I am again, stuck, desperately needing to know: what happened?
Did I nudge Joshua towards a relationship with this guy that really wasn't healthy? Should I have steered him away from this guy? God! I was so excited to find out he was bi that I just assumed the best of this guy!
From everything I can tell of Joshua and this alien, their relationship is complicated, stressful, and precarious. Where are they now? What are they doing? God, I hope Joshua got out of there... That's not healthy for him! Especially if Seth is simultaneously the source and trigger for his traumatic stress.
But from what I heard from Maggie, Josh is missing.
God, fuck, where is he? He's not with that Seth, is he? Fuck, if something happens to him because of this, I'll never forgive myself.
I feel so trapped here. It's not like I'd have any better of an idea of where to find Joshua and this creep if I was out there myself, but then, I'll never know. As far as I know, they're long gone by now. If only I could just go look for him!
He's not answering my messages, but there's so many possible reasons for that, I don't know what to think: He could have lost his phone. It could be dead. Seth could have taken it from him. He could just simply be ignoring me.
Fuck! This is the worst!
I hate being cooped up in here. My only contacts with the outside world are Maggie and other people's snapchat stories and what I can manage to pry from the nurse when she comes in.
My parents have come to visit me every day, but I never want to talk about Joshua with them. They don't know anything more than anyone else in this damned town, and their concern is worse because they know first hand how close Josh and I were. While they seem to sense I know more about this whole deal than I'm telling them, they haven't asked yet, which I'm grateful for, though I know all bets are off once I'm discharged. They'll probably interrogate the hell out of me as soon as I get home. Not looking forward to it.
The maybe only cool thing to come of this is that I finally got Tess to video call me. My bigshot big sis, off in Canada with her girlfriend studying photography or some other liberal arts mumbo-jumbo, never seems to have the time to call me or give me updates on college life anymore. Which is cool, I get it, but at the same time, I miss her sometimes, y'know?
I'm the last bird left in the nest, and Mom and Dad can be smothering with their attention sometimes. In any case, I finally got her to call me, and I got to talk to her girlfriend too, this dark-skinned gal with a pixie cut and the kindest smile I've ever seen. Her name is Rebecca, and she used to live here in Junction a while, at least before she and her mom had to leave to escape an abusive dad/husband. Tess was crushed, but clearly they managed to maintain their relationship long distance, because they're together again and going strong.
Bec asked me all sort of questions about the current Monster Mystery that's circulating though all Juction's gossip circles, and I try my darnest to avoid or deflect every single one. She seems oddly interested though, almost desperate to get me to tell her about it, which is rather odd, but Tess gets her to back off eventually.
The worst part about the call was when it ended, and I was left with the silent room, alone.
The only thing that could possibly beat the loneliness is the omnipresent, pressing presence of Perkins. He wants to get to the bottom of things arguably more than I do, and as the only person currently not missing who has even the slightest clue as to what the fuckening is happening, he won't get off my back.
It probably doesn't help that his partner, Lynch, was checked in at the same time I was for similar injuries, and she happens to be in the room right next to mine. It must be so convenient for him to check up on my resolve to not tell him jack at the same time that he checks in on his gal pal.
As much as part of me wants to tell Perkins what I know so we have a better chance at finding—and therefore possibly saving—Joshua, I'm also worried about what the FBI agent is going to do if he does find them. He could tip an already delicate situation over into something far more dangerous. I know full well. I was there the last time he showed up and things (Seth) blew up in his face, in everyone's faces.
I sink deeper into the sheets at the memory. There's a dull ache in my chest, where the tube used to be, for draining out like... chest cavity fluids and stuff from the space my lung is supposed to hang out. Love it.
At least it's out now, so I can sit up without wheezing and dying from the pain. The only reason I'm still stuck here is for observation or whatever, to make sure I don't keel over randomly, or that my lung doesn't just recollapse on its own for some reason. Only a couple more days to go, then I'm out of this joint.
(I don't know if I'm looking forward to returning to the hot mess that is school right now, but that's a problem for future Ethan.)
From my bedside table, my phone dings, and I rush to grab it. My side twinges again, but I ignore it as I check my messages.
Maggs: En route.
I stare at it for a long while before I realise she means she's on her way. A wide grin spreads over my face, and I give a happy little wiggle because finally. It only took her like half a century!
Ethan: Fkn finally!
Ethan: [image sent]
I send her the gif of the old lady saying "It's been eighty-four years..." and gleefully I wait for a response.
Maggs: [Image received]
Maggs: Calm down you big baby. I'm out front now.
Ethan: See u soon!!!!
I can't believe she's finally coming. I made the decision a long time ago to tell her, because I can't live with a secret this large without telling someone! (Joshua? Having an affair with an alien? On my Christian server? It's more likely than you think!) And if I'm going to tell someone, Maggie's the one, hands down.
Besides, she kind of deserves to know. She is our friend after all, and she completes our little trio of doofuses.
Maggs: you better be ready to spill the tea abt J bc I'm dying of curiosity and I'm not walking up all these stairs for nothing.
I grin as my screen lights up again.
Ethan: don't you worry your pretty lil head maggs, ive got all the tea
Maggs: u better
I stick my tongue out playfully and turn off my phone. God, I'm already getting excited. And maybe a little nervous. How am I going to explain all of this to her?
I'm expecting her to come in any moment now, but instead my phone dings with another message.
Maggs: Your nurse says we can't come in.
I scowl. What?
Maggs: she says she's not going to allow any visitors. You're not supposed to have them, apparently.
Ethan: what? Fuck. I bet Perkins had something to do with this.
Ethan: ms. Romera is p cool, maybe if you explain what's up shell let you in.
Ethan: or just sneak by or something, Idk
Maggs: ugh okay. One second.
I tap my phone against my hand impatiently as I wait, each moment longer making me more and more sure that she's not going to be able to come. And how boring that would be! I desperately want to see her again. It's been too long, honestly, three days too long.
Maggs: Okay we snuck around her. Which room is yours?
Ethan: third door on the right
Ethan: wait, we?
Just as I'm typing this, the handle to my door is clicking, and three people are tumbling in. Maggie and Connor and Ying, their hands chained together and their faces bright as the girls both urge Connor to shut the door quickly behind them. He does, and they all looked relieved, though flushed, like they just ran through an Indiana Jones temple and evaded the rolling stone of death.
I stare at them with wide eyes, and it's a moment before they actually notice me. When they do, Maggie breaks the stand-still first.
"Ethan!" She exclaims, rushing over to wrap me up in a hug. "I never thought I'd say this, but I'm actually glad to see you."
"Same." I wheeze, patting her back. She's squeezing tight enough that it kind of hurts, but I don't tell her to let go, because it's not often someone is genuinely excited to see me. It's actually kind of nice.
"Oh, shit, sorry." She says as she hears the strain in my voice, and she lets go of me quickly. "It's good to see you're up and looking better though! How much longer do you have?"
I lift a shoulder in a shrug, leaning back on my palms. "Only till the end of the week. What, did you miss me that much?" I flash her a crooked grin.
She narrows her eyes at me. "Don't ruin this, Huggins."
"It's good to see you're doing well enough to joke though!" A cheerful voice pitches in behind her, Southern twang and everything, and I know exactly who it is.
Connor Patterson smiles at me from behind Maggie, and from just behind him, Ying Christen offers a shy, fleeting look of support. She stands separated from him, enough that I almost miss the way her hand clutches at the back of his shirt, as if he's some sort of life-line. When did they become a thing? Moreover, when did any of them become a thing? Last I checked, Maggie, Ying, and Connor weren't a package deal.
"Um, thanks." I reply awkwardly, feeling my palms begin to sweat and my heart tangle up in my chest. I squeeze the sheets at my sides tightly because fuck, it's Connor Patterson.
Maggie wasn't supposed to bring him. More than being baffled by his presence, I'm thrown for a loop, because here's the kicker: Connor Patterson is hot. He always has been. I mean, have you seen the guy? It's no wonder Maggie's head over heels for him, his freckled smile could charm the pants off a cold-hearted snake! And they don't even wear pants!
Seeing him here, now, telling me he's happy to see I'm alright, well, fuck.
One day I'm going to be able to handle my attraction in a way that doesn't involve teasing and degradation, I assure you. It'll happen.
Today's just not that day.
"So... When did you start hanging out with ex-girlfriends and future husbands?" I ask Maggie, raising my eyebrows at her and looking pointedly from Ying and Connor to her.
Ying looks petrified at the epithet, while Connor just looks confused, bless his sweet heart. Maggie doesn't even miss a beat.
"Since both my best friends abandoned me." She says, settling a look upon me so cold, I can feel the frostbite.
"Oh. Right. Gotcha." I say in a small voice. "About that... I'm really sorry."
It hurts to apologise, because I never thought we'd end up in a place like this. I didn't think something this outrageous could actually happen.
Maggie sighs, and she takes a seat on the edge of my bed. "It's alright. I'm not mad... anymore. You're just going to tell me what's happening now, right?"
"Right. It is why I called you here, after all." There's a quiet sort of resignation to these words, and I mentally steel myself for the explanations I'm going to have to find.
Am I going to tell the whole truth?
To tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth would be what Maggie deserves, but it feels like it would be a disservice to Joshua. On the other side of that though, telling only part of the truth or distorting it just a little would protect Joshua, but be a disservice to Maggie.
Whose side am I supposed to take?
I look helplessly at the three of them, and I'm aware for the hundredth time that I really have gotten myself into a sticky pothole of a situation.
As if seeing Maggie sitting has confirmed something, both Connor and Ying find their own chairs by the wall to sit on, nice comfy ones that my parents usually hang out in when they're around. Connor takes his up and scoots it a little closer to us, and I'd be lying if I said that didn't make my nerves worse.
"I really only intended to tell Maggie this, but..." I look from Maggie to her friends, feeling torn.
"Go on." Maggie prompts me. "They have as much a right to know what's going on in this crappy town as I do. At least, Ying certainly does. It does directly involve her after all."
I look to Ying, who's watching me with this serious look I don't think I've ever seen from her before.
"Please explain..." She says, and it might just be the first time I've ever heard her speak. I can't help but stare.
"I— Well, I guess..." I choke out, grimacing.
When I look to Connor, I don't know what I'm expecting: for him to support the two of them or for him to give a reason why he too deserves to know the truth behind the shit that's shaking the town.
When I catch his eye, he lifts his shoulders in a shrug.
"I'm just here because Maggie told me to come, honestly." He admits. "Though I am real curious now, if you do actually know what's up with Joshua and this monster. Are they really connected somehow?"
He looks at me with curious eyes, and dammit, he's too hot to argue with.
I look around the three of them, feeling cornered. I still haven't settled on a decision when the door clicks again, and all of us startle. It has to be Romera: she's caught us.
Is it bad that part of me is relieved she's going to kick them out? Then I don't have to make this horrible decision. I suddenly hate myself for getting me in this sticky jam.
The person steps in the room, and we realise that no, it isn't Romera. It's much worse than that kind lady.
It's Perkins.
God, it's always Perkins.
.
.
.
The winter season is upon us! ❄⛄
I grappled with a bit of writer's block for this one, so that's why it took so long to get out to y'all. Sorry for the wait! But in the process of that, I did write a bunch of like - how would you call them? - one-shots? Flashfiction pieces? Involving the gang and such, and I think once I polish them up, I'll post them here in a separate book/collection so you can read them, if you're interested! So keep on the look out for that in the future! <3
(The song is the Heroless remix of Whethan's Top Shelf)
That said, I hope you've enjoyed this chapter and that you've had a wonderful holiday season so far! Happy holidays and I wish you all a fantastic New Year!