The Three Musketeers
"He said WHAT?? Okay Sarah, I don't whether to be the super ecstatic bestie, because this kinda all you've wanted him to say or be the concerned good friend because of all the crap he's put you through." Hearing Carley she sounds more concerned than ecstatic. Since we had a chilled school week with no assignments, we decide to have a girls day out, starting with shopping at DownTown, one of the best clothing shops I've ever been to. It's like they've taken all types of style I love and turned them into a store.
"Yeah. I know. How do you think I feel? Am I supposed to run into his arms and tell him how long I've waited to hear him (or anyone, for that matter) say that or go home and start crying again, because I know that through everything he says, he still won't leave Sabrina. Which makes me even more hesitant because what if he's just playing me; and even if he breaks up with Sabrina and we start dating, what will stop him from bumping his friend into the next lonely nerd and taking her to the nurse's office right in front of me and- "
"Okay, calm down Ms. Over-exaggerator." Carley moves away from the jeans rack and places her hands on my shoulders. "Look I'm pretty sure Zac won't make the mistake of pushing Ryder into random people again; and you do know how amazing you are right? You shouldn't be worrying about this guy as much as you do. He's just not worth it. You can't expect to find someone who will truly like you if you're stuck obsessing over an ass. It's pointless."
Even though it sucks hearing this, Carley's right. The fact that Zac won't break up with Sabrina wipes away whatever cute meaningful, cheesy things he says. "I feel so stupid. Why did he have to be such a nice guy? Why couldn't he have been a jackass like the rest of the guys at school?" I say putting these giant sunglasses on.
"Wow those look really great on you." Carley steps back so I can see the mirror behind her. Hmm, she's right. They don't they look bad at all. They're nerdy frames with dark lenses. I'm pretty sure if I wasn't so distracted with the whole Zac situation then I wouldn't have even noticed these glasses. At least one good thing came from this.
We leave the shop with bags in our hands and head to the food court for smoothies and nachos (our tradition on shopping days like this).
"So what you up to this weekend?? My dad's taking me to this Bring you child to work convention thing.. Ugh not looking forward to wasting my time listening to my dad's friends brag about how great their kids are and then have my dad struggle to say on good thing about me." Carley and her dad have never actually been that close. It's not that he doesn't care, they are just so different in similar ways.
"I'm going to my Nana this weekend. I haven't seen her in a while, and we've wanted to, there's just no time lately." Nana has always been the one person in my life who I've looked up to. She and my Grandpa split up when I was only two years and she's been by herself ever since and the fact that we live so far away from her, doesn't help that much either. When I was younger and my parents actually had a life outside of work, she would baby sit Daniella and I. We would bake the best chocolate chip cookies and sit around by her fireplace playing charades and listening to her old Elvis records. No matter how old I get and no matter how many things in my life suck, I always get swivels of excitement when going to my Nana's place.
***
The four hour drive seems like an eternity even with One Direction on full blast in my ears. Mom and dad have been discussing the new line of Sound Systems they want to bring into the store and Daniella took time away from Kurt/Kyle just to come with us, but is texting him at lightning speed (she won't admit it but she's just as excited as I am to see Nana again.)
We finally reach her Victorian Styled house and all the good memories come back. For one weekend, I can just been myself and not be judged by others for it. Goodbye Zac, hello Superman comics. I keep them by my gran because I'm too scared that someday somehow have this massive house party and Sabrina will find them and use them against me.
Standing outside is Nana, awaiting our arrival. Her smile is as warm as the sun shining down on us, full of hope and joy. Although something's different. Behind her smiling eyes, confusion clouds them. We must really come and see her more often. Seeing her now, I realize how much I miss her.
"Mary, how are you?" Nana greets mom first. Then she greets dad, but addresses him as John, not Gareth. He ignores her blunder, because of her dementia this kind of thing happens rather often, actually. She was diagnosed last summer but mom only told me last week. I didn't think anything of it at first, but standing here now, and hearing her call my dad John, it's all I can think about.
"Hey Nana." Daniella and I say together and slowly walk forward to hug her together. A group hug is our thing.
"Hello my lovelies. Oh I've missed you so much."
"Mom, you remember Sarah and Daniella right??" Mom says from Nana's side and gestures to my sister and I.
"You think I'd forget my musketeers." I can't help but smile. When I was younger, I would call us 'The musketeers' because we were so close and after that it stuck. After hearing and seeing Nana, it's heartwarming to know that she still remembers.
"Hi Nana, we've missed you too." I say.
"How are you girls, you've all grown up. Daniella you like a beautiful woman now and Sarah my word. I hardly recognized you."
"Hope that's a good thing Nana." I laugh but I really do hope is he meant it in a good way and not because she's forgetting me.
"Come on let's go inside." We all walk into her house and those warm fuzzy feelings come back. She's been in this house ever since I could remember. The rose patterned couches, all the pictures on the fireplace mantel and her brown American Shorthair tabby cat, Dennis. We walk into the living room and are greeted by Martha, Nana's best friend from college. I find it really amazing that after almost 50 years, they've stayed so close.
"Hi Martha." I say, as she gets up to hug me and Daniella.
"Oh hi Sarah, Daniella, Mary, Gareth. How are y'all?"
***
The rest of the weekend goes on pretty well. It's weird, even Daniella and I bonded a bit. Saturday evening, the folks go out with some friends they haven't seen in a long time. So while they're out, Daniella,Nana and I sit around a bonfire chilling and chatting. After Daniella finally finishes her many stories in what has happened in her life, since the last time we came here, Nana turns to me.
"So Sarah, anything exciting in your life??"
"Nothing much Nana, still the same boring nerd, as usual."
"Oh please." Daniella buts in. "Sarah over here has been head over heels for this one guy at her school."
I roll my eyes at her. "Don't exaggerate. Yes there is this guy, but it's nothing. He acts like he feels something for me although he has a girlfriend. I mean he's the most popular guy at school and I'm the girl no one recognizes, so there is no chance we'll be together."
"Sarah, my sweet girl. Never make yourself feel small; but just be careful. If he can't let go of the girl that he is dating at the moment, then maybe getting yourself involved with him now would cause some problems and I don't want you to be caught up in all that unnecessary drama." Nana takes my hand and smiles.
Nana's right though and I guess I should have realized this before. Oh well, Zac's just going to need to make a choice because I'm not going to be 'the other girl'. I just wish I was his first option.
***
Sunday lunch, the whole family sits around the table in Nana's back yard. The weather is great and it's just great to be all together before the long trip. Even mom and dad are in a pleasant mood. Getting back early this morning, Daniella, Nana and I made sure not to disturb them until noon. So after a strong cup of coffee and a awesome shower, everyone's one sitting outside with an amazing lunch.
"So. How was your your night last night guys? What did you do with Nana?"
"We had a pretty cool night sitting around the fire. Right Nana??"
"Um... Yes? Wonderful night." The confused look on her face is back and I know she hardly remembers what we did and spoke about last night.
We enjoy the rest of lunch and get ready to leave in the evening.
"Thanks for a great weekend Nana. See you soon okay."
"Okay my dear. See you soon. Bye everyone. Have a safe trip."
It's been great to Nana again. As soon as we get home, I charge my phone. I accidentally left it at home and haven't seen my messages all weekend. As soon as my phone switches on, I see a message from Zac: 'hey. Hope you have a great weekend. Thinking of you :P ."
Damn..
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What the hell have I done?? Sending Sarah that text was the stupidest thing I've ever done. I knew she was going away this weekend. (Heard her speaking to they friends during lunch) . I'm so sick of Sabrina, I'm just way too much of a wimp to break it off with her. Plus the message I sent to Sarah was an idiotic drunk message. I felt so shitty, so Ryder and I went out partying and got really drunk and that was when I though of Sarah and sent her that text telling her I'm think of her. I most probably have scared her off. I swear, I really need to grow a pair.
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