A/N: I'm so sorry for the wait, guys! I've been through the most annoying writer's block lately. But I'm back, though! I hope you'll like this chapter!
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March 14th 1991
Dear Diary,
I don't know what I am doing here, or why I stopped by on my way to Neverland. I battled with myself for days, wondering if whether it was a good idea for me to come here or not. What am I even looking for? I don't even know what the hell I am doing here. I feel like a creepy stalker, waiting in my car for Hayden to come out of his house. I don't even know what I am supposed to tell him. I can't just say "hey, I think you might be my brother. Wanna talk?". I can't show up like this. I'm still shaken up by the possibility that, maybe, my parents hid the fact that I had a brother. That would explain Grams' reluctance for me to meet him, and why she said he belonged to the past. Is she trying to make sure I never meet him because he is my father's illegitimate child? Did my father cheat on my mother and got a woman pregnant? Or is he my parents' son? We share the same name, after all.
I have so many questions, and it's killing me.
I closed my diary loudly, and huffed in frustration. I carelessly put the book on the passenger's seat, and started the ignition again. As if he sensed it, Hayden came out of the house, the little boy from the pictures holding his hand tightly, almost dragging him to the car. I opened my window a bit to try to hear the sound of his voice, and kept on watching their every move.
"Dad, we're going to be late, come on!"
"I know, I'm sorry I slept in Andy," his father apologized sincerely, rubbing his temple with his other hand. "Come on, hop in the car," Hayden told his son, opening the back door for him.
He closed the door and looked in my direction, which caused me to sink deeper in my seat so that he wouldn't see my face. I cursed myself out in the process. I knew this was all a bad idea to come here, considering the fact that I wasn't near ready to meet the person I suspected to be my brother.
I was reluctant at the idea to look back in his direction because I was afraid he would still be staring. I did eventually after some long, awkward seconds, only to see the car drive away. I sighed in relief, and put my head on the head rest. I needed a minute to pull myself together, so I closed my eyes and focused on the one thing that was able to put my mind at ease. The more days went by, the more the moment I got to see Michael again was near. I couldn't wait to be able to be with him again, for I needed him to tell me that everything would be just fine, that I needed to take the time I needed to make a decision. He always had the right words to make me feel better, instantly.
It was the first time I went to Neverland by myself, and I hoped that Michael's security crew knew I was coming. It would have been embarrassing if I came there without anybody knowing it. Thankfully, one of the bodyguard present at the gates recognized me, and told his colleague that I was Michael's friend, and that I was coming to work with the "nurse guy", aka Mark Pierce.
At the second I drove past the gates, this sense of belonging came back. I looked at my surroundings, and just like that, the previous events vanished from my head to make room for happier thoughts. This was the effect this place and what it represented had on me.
Michael asked for me to stay the night, since he didn't want me to have a three hours ride back to LA by myself. It wasn't a problem for me to stay there, since I worked the night shift the next day. On the contrary, being at Neverland was always a pleasure, so I didn't argue.
I parked my car in front of the main house where Matt, one of Michael's bodyguard, and a couple of maids, including Adrian, were waiting for me. I stepped out of the car with my bag over my shoulder, and greeted them with a wide smile.
"Good morning Dr. Thames," Adrian gently said, returning my smile. "It's good to see you again!"
"I'm glad to be back here," I sighed happily, looking around me again.
"I'll walk you to your room so that you can settle in there. After that, Matt will escort you to the movie theater where the other doctor is waiting for you," she explained, and Matt nodded his head, agreeing. "Please, follow me."
Surprisingly, Adrian asked me to follow her to the main house. I didn't think that Michael would want me in his house while he was away. I thought he would want me to stay in one of the guest rooms, but I was visibly wrong. Actually, it brought a smile to my face knowing he trusted me enough to let me in his home by myself. Well, not really by myself since there were workers everywhere.
"The boss asked specifically for you to stay in the same room as the last time you came. He said it was yours now," she announced while we were in the middle of the stairs.
"Mine? It's my room now?" I asked again for clarification. I was quite surprised. Michael's gesture warmed up my heart. He cared so much about me that he gave me a room in his house, so that I could be close to him.
"As you know, Ms. Taylor has her own room too. Mr. Jackson wants his friend to feel like they're home here," Michael's employee explained, and I smiled a bit at her words. "There you go. Matt is waiting for you downstairs. Take the time you need to get settled," she softly said, and I thanked her. It took her a few seconds to disappear, closing the door of my bedroom on her way out.
A couple of towels were folded neatly on the bed, along with a bathrobe. I took it in my hands, and realized that my name was written on the back of it. I blinked twice, just to be sure I did see correctly, and shook my head at Michael's adorable gesture. He really wanted me to take my mark here, and it made my heart flutter just thinking about the fact that he wanted me to stay, to feel home. Under the bathrobe, I found a red shirt, similar to the one he gave me the last time. I frowned a little, and brought it to my nose. Of course, it smelled just like him. I knew this was requested by Michael again, since he knew I had a thing with his shirts. He probably thought I just liked their style, though. I doubted that he knew I liked them because they smelled like him, which would be... awkward.
With a happy sigh, I sat on the edge of the bed and looked down at Michael's shirt. I missed him, there was no denying it.
***
It was weird to do my job outside the hospital's walls, but it was also amazing: I was at Neverland, one of the place I loved most on earth, doing what I loved the most. We had thirteen ill kids around, including a couple of kids with a motor disability in wheelchairs. Mark and I took care of them for the whole day. Since they couldn't go on the rides with the other kids, we made sure that they had a blast anyway. While the other kids were around the amusement park with the foundation's staff, we brought Alyssa and Holly to the zoo after we got them cotton candy.
The sun was blazing in the cloudless sky, and the weather was incredibly soft. I had never been to Neverland on a cloudy or rainy day, but I knew it wouldn't take the magic away. There was something soothing about rain, and Neverland put me at ease. Whatever the weather, I knew I would love being around here.
The rest of the children joined us in the zoo when they were done in the amusement park. You wouldn't have guessed that most of them were battling with cancer. The smile on their face – it was magnificent. They were running everywhere, chatting and laughing with each other. The adults even had a hard time keeping up with them. This whole situation brought a smile to my face: it was obvious that thy were more than happy to be there. It allowed them to forget about their horrible daily life, just for a moment, and it was precious.
When Alyssa started coughing, Mark immediately stopped pushing her wheelchair to give her some water. Throughout the day, I got to see how my new coworker was around children, and I was delighted to see that he was more than great with them.
We ended the day by watching a movie, and not any movie. The kids decided to watch Moonwalker, Michael's movie because they wanted to feel like Michael's was there with them. I was quite happy that they chose to watch it, because I ignored the fact that Michael acted in his own movie. Also, I kind of needed to feel him among us, too. Whenever Mark or any other member of the staff cracked a joke, I instinctively looked around, looking for Michael, to see if he was laughing too. Of course, he was nowhere to be found.
Mark and I stayed with the sickest children in the room Michael and I equipped a few weeks back. Alyssa and Holly were still with us, and Tom, a seven year-old little boy who was dressed just as Michael joined us in there because he had troubles breathing. After I checked him up, I realized that his heart seemed a little bit tired since it wasn't beating at the right pace. I put an oxygen mask over his tiny face, and laid him on one of the beds so that he could rest. Tom suffered pulmonary hypertension, so him having trouble breathing after such a lively day wasn't abnormal.
When the movie started, the light went down, and Mark and I sat at the back of the little room to keep an eye on the kids. A smile decorated my face when the first notes of Man In The Mirror echoed in the room and that every single kid began to sing along. I looked over at Mark next to me, and my smile got wider when I noticed he was singing with the kids as well. This song carried the most beautiful message, and I sure hoped that everyone understood it.
"Michael would have loved to see this," I told my co-worker once he stopped singing. "This is so beautiful."
"It is," he verified nodding is head. "I can't wait to go home and tell everything to my girls."
"How does it feel to live among three girls? You must feel lonely at times," I teased, snickering a bit.
"Three? Oh no, it's only my daughters and I," he gave me a slight smile. "My wife and I got a divorce a couple of years ago. She left for Europe, giving me full custody of the children."
"Oh I uh—I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to—"
"It's alright, you couldn't know," he reassured with a sincere smile. "The girls are okay now, and I am too. It's all that matters."
Mark was truly a kind man. You could feel how sincere he was through his words. It was a real pleasure to be around him, for he could put you at ease thanks to his soft voice and gentle words. He really cared for people, it was obvious. You could guess by the way he took care of the kids, and by how many times he would ask me if I needed anything throughout the day. Michael and I did the right thing when we chose him for the job.
***
Having dinner with Michael's employees was great, since it allowed me to know them better. They were all everyday people. They cracked jokes a lot, the atmosphere was playful, and I loved it. They didn't always do that, but they wanted me and Mark to be integrated to the team, which I found very thoughtful. Apparently, it was an idea that Bill submitted to his bodyguard friend, and I appreciated his kind gesture.
When we all finished eating, it was time for everybody to go their own way. The three maids went back to their rooms, and the bodyguard went home after they got replaced by some other ones for the night shift. Mark went home as well, as he needed to go back to his daughters. At first, he didn't want to stay over Neverland for dinner, but he called his nanny and she agreed on keeping the girls a little longer.
"You did a great job today," I truthfully said, as we were walking side by side to get to his car.
"Thanks, boss," he smiled, and I rolled my eyes at the name he used. "What? You're my boss!"
"No. Michael is," I pointed out, and he shook his head while laughing. "I'm his employee, just like you."
"Come on, you're lying now," he said, as we stopped walking once we reached his car. "You're at least his friend, if not more. You mentioned that you had your own room in his house."
"Touché," I giggled, rubbing the back of my head nervously. "I was surprised, though. The only person to have her own room in this house is Elizabeth Taylor."
"Man, how I love this woman! Oh shit— did you meet her? I know you've been there a few times, and since they're friends, maybe..."
"No, I didn't meet Liz Taylor," I chuckled at his excitement. "If I ever happen to come across her, I'll ask for an autograph for you."
"You're quite a great boss," he smirked, and I rolled my eyes again. "Okay, okay, I'll stop calling you that," he laughed, and I shook my head at his silly self.
"You better," I warned in a playful tone. "Drive safe, okay?" I asked him as he hopped into his car.
"I will," he reassured. "Until next time. Have a good night, Hayley."
"You too. Go tuck your girls to bed," I grinned, and closed his car door for him. In a matter of a minute, he was out of sight.
The only thing I wanted was to go back to the house to be able to relax after a tiring day, and this is exactly what I did. The last time I slept over Neverland, I woke up in Michael's room, and that memory was heavy on my mind. It simply reminded me how much I missed him.
I took off my coat and threw it on the nearest chair, and put Michael's shirt over my t-shirt instead. His scent always helped me when I missed his presence next to me. Automatically, I felt warmer inside, as if it helped me fill the hole his absence created in me. It was weird the effect it could have on me. This feeling of completeness was coming back, little by little. It was almost as powerful as when Michael was physically next to me. I sighed heavily as my stomach was filled with butterflies, and started to gather my things to go to the shower. I knew a hot shower would help me relax, too.
As I was about to enter the bathroom, a knock on the door was heard. I put my things down, and went back to the door with a frown on my face. It was nine thirty in the evening, I wondered what was this about at this time of the night.
"Adrian? Is there a problem? I thought you were done for the night. Is everything okay?" I asked, genuinely concerned.
"Ma'am I am sorry to disturb you, but I—I need your help. C—Can you please come with me downstairs?" she stammered. She seemed very uncomfortable asking this.
"Uh, yes, sure. Are you alright?" I asked, as I closed the bedroom's door behind me.
She simply nodded, and went back downstairs where I followed her. Silence settled between us, and I started to get nervous as I didn't know the reason why she needed my help. She stopped in front of the big wooden door that lead to the living room, and looked over her shoulder in my direction. Without another word, she opened the door, and motioned me to come in while she stayed outside. I frowned, and walked hesitantly further in the room. I gave a look to Adrian, and she gave me a little smile before she closed the door. I frowned, and started to freak out on the inside, imagining the worst scenarios possible of what could happen to me.
"They really suit you," his oh-so-recognizable voice said, and I turned around in a swift motion as my heart started to beat faster, while my stomach erupted with butterflies. It was him. He was there. "My shirts, I mean."
"Michael," I murmured to myself, the widest smile decorating my face at the sight of him.
Without hesitating, I ran towards him and ended up jumping in his wide opened arms. I couldn't believe he was actually there when I was expecting him to come back in a week or more. My arms were tightly wrapped around his neck while my legs were around his waist. We had never been this close in the past because I was always afraid that it would trigger something within me, but I didn't even think about the visions at that moment. I was just enjoying each and every second of having him that close to me. I wanted him to understand how much I missed him.
"I wasn't expecting such a warm welcome," he giggled, as he buried his face in the crook of my neck. "God, I missed you."
"I can't believe you're here," I confessed, as I tightened my grip around his neck.
"Let me look at you now," he gently asked. I unwrapped my legs and arms from around him, and finally, our eyes met again. His beautiful doe eyes. "Hey," he whispered with a smile that made me weak in the knees.
"Hey," I evasively said back, getting lost in the intensity of the stare we were sharing. "How long have you been in there?"
"I just got here. I was lucky Adrian was still there. I wanted to surprise you," he let me know, and I hit his arm slightly once I snapped out of my trance. "Hey! What's wrong with you?"
"You scared the shit out of me! Poor Adrian seemed super bad for lying to me," I let him know, and he just laughed at me. "Stop laughing! You're cruel. I do hope you're going to apologize to her, you rascal."
"I will, don't worry," he giggled, taking me back in his arms. "But it was worth it, though. This was the best 'welcome back' hug ever," he said into my ear while he rubbed my back with his hand. My arms were wrapped around his thin waist while my ear was just above his heart. I was pretty sure that it was beating just as fast as mine.
"Don't get used to it. My 'don't leave' hugs are way better," I told him, which he found pretty funny.
"I can't wait for you to show them to me," he shyly said, as I broke our embrace to look into his eyes again. "How about you go get ready for the night so that you can tell me about your day over some snacks after?"
"Sounds like a great plan," I smiled widely. "I'll meet you in your bedroom once I'm done. Don't fall asleep while I'm getting prepared!" I pointed a warning finger in his direction as I walked backwards to the door.
"I won't! Now come on, hurry!" he laughed, and that melody was love to my ears.
He was back, and he brought my joie de vivre back with him.