Warning: I could not for the life of me be bothered enough to read through this so there's going to mistakes. Honestly I'm knackered I just wanna sleep sorry but enjoy!
"À la folie."- Unknown.
They say there's a sense of serenity and comfort in the bittersweet. Well at the very least it was what was told to her. Aiko twisted her hair up securing it with one of the hair tie she kept around her wrist. The messy bun atop her head attempted to control the tumbling locks that were her hair. Her way of preparing herself to protect her broken heart. Her hair was her favourite part of her. A mix of rustic copper and orange it glowed. It was a startling contrast to her coloured skin tone and the slant of her eyes. She was the perfect combination of a Japanese loving father and a crazy Irish mother.
Taking her phone out her back pocket she messaged Thea knowing well enough she would be waiting inside Xyrus by her side as he watched the asshole get himself killed. And on a normal day where she would have had questioned why Xyrus cared due to his lack of empathy, she knew he always had his back. Granted Nathaniel was one of the best but fighting consecutively for a week would take a toll on anyone. Even if you're the greatest MMA fighter of the gym. He may be a pro at that but to Aiko he was the stupidest idiot there ever was. And while a sane person in her situation would have questioned what the hell she was doing here she wasn't that person anymore. Or maybe it was the slight feeling of warmth she still felt for him against all rational notions that fuelled her everyday actions.
Shaking off the unwanted tears and stinging pain in her heart. She was bigger than this. Than her past no matter how much he had done before delivering the final blow that would kill her she walked into the lions den. The first running thought in her head was how over dressed she was. By that she meant the lack of clothing every other girl had in the room with either their butts or boobs hanging out. Sometimes both trying to find someone to latch onto if they hadn't already. Even their faces were caked, to the pint she was sure that if they were to be hit across the face it would act as a protection barrier. She tried not to laugh at the thoughts in her head. Maybe it was just simply that she would never fit in. She was sure he had made that clear. The self doubt set in like stone.
She stayed close to the walls. Today being the last day she wanted to deal with the groping hands of perverted men that were probably already drunk and the deathly glares of women that she felt would be seconds away from clawing out her eyes. But then maybe what she was wearing wasn't helping her case. Black blocked heel boots that were inches shorter than the stripper heels she saw them balancing in. Denim short shorts accessorised with a thick black belt sculpting out her hips while attempting to contain her ass. The jacket buttoned up falling off an shoulder acting as her top. She could feel the cold air as it breathed down the gaps, hardening her nipples. Her hands were adorned with rings and three mix matched necklaces of gold and silver adorned her neck, accentuating her collar bones and valley of her breasts. Even now she wore his necklace. Wondering through she saw the back of the head of a familiar built white haired boy. She wondered if they would recognise her.
Like a true Phoenix she had risen.
"Xyrus."
Her voice was firmer than she expected. Mentally she patted herself on the back for being so strong. He glanced at her nodding, no words spoken. Clearly showing his lack of anticipation at her arrival. Thea rolled her eyes at him after glaring at him because of his inhospitality towards her. She swatted him on the chest and in return he grabbed her hand stealing a kiss from her, eyes trained on what was happening in the cage. His face remained blank as he pulled her closer tucking her into his side.
"Ignore him."
She was trying to put her at ease. But nothing fazed her anymore. Not his unnerving looks or the discomfort she felt from having never fitting into what the three were. She was numb. Numb was good.
"Why am I here?"
She could hear the hollowness in her own voice. Cringing and trying to remain emotionless, desperately clenching her hands, nails breaking into the just healed crescent marks on her palms. A little harder and she knew she would draw the first drops of blood. She isn't understand. No matter how much she tried. Every emotion and word coming back to hit her with full weight. Thea was his first love and although both had let go and moved on, she was his closest friend that he would drop everything for. Xyrus despised him for the closeness the two shared. Secrets that bound them together, yet was fiercely defensive, and caring in his own way towards him. He was an enigma of his own that she had tried to decode countless times, every time coming short.
And then there was her. She accepted whatever they all shared. Respected it and grew to love Thea as her own sister. She was kept in the dark and she never dared to question it. She put all her faith and trust in him. He saved her once as she teetered on the edge of darkness. Before pushing her over the edge delivering her there himself. She held out hope for a few weeks. That he would call, tell her everything was a lie. Explain. But Aiko knew the reality of her life. It never was a fairytale. Never meant to be.
"Help him."
The desperate plea in Thea's voice wasn't lost on her. It reverberated through her seeping into her soul. Like everything to do with him did. She tried. Tried with all her light to my turn to see the mess she was made to believe he was. She couldn't imagine her man boy ever something but perfection. Her idea of perfection that fit so perfectly with her. She didn't whether she wanted to help. Would he think it meant she still cares and loves him. That he haunts her every waking moment and to become the haunting what ifs in her dreams driving her closer to the brink of insanity everyday. She inwardly laughed cynically. She thought she was so strong. Instead she seemed to have let the darkness devour her. It becoming her safety net where she could retreat and hide again.
She didn't realise she had closed her eyes, so tight that when a hand fell on a cold hand fell on her shoulder making her evidently jump, she had to blink the blurriness away. Anguished pair of green eyes held her with a silent plea.
"You owe him nothing. Us nothing, but please Aiko he's killing him self out there over you."
She was going to dispute the claim before she was interrupted.
"Look gingersnap." That received Xyrus a glare as he opened his mouth.
"The bastard realised how much he fucked yo while trying to keep you safe. Like the fucking creep he is he watched you the first two weeks through your window, losing your shit knowing he was the cause of it all. I don't care what she says but you owe me and I told you I would call on it one day. Today's that day. Go talk to him or do something to get his ass out his head before he gets himself killed and realises he hasn't completely lost you."
The deathly look he gave her had her shut her mouth before uttering a word. He was still just as terrifying as ever.
"Don't bullshit me. I don't know how why someone in their right mind would love him. But you do. You still do, don't argue with me, so go deal with him. He's your problem and he's been taking Thea's time away from me. And frankly I'm done with his shit."
His rant left her speechless. She turned to leave. Xyrus may have been right but the way he turned away like she wasn't even there, turning Thea with him, it rang clear. It was her choice. Her actions would create her own consequences. And feeling like the naive child he called her, she pursed her lips turning back facing the cage.
Maybe she really was stupid for still loving him. But she couldn't help but remember that fleeting look in his eyes before breaking her.
He savoured the feeling of being hit again and again. He let the burly man get away with it, welcoming it as a means to numb the pain. The words, the look of pure disbelief and terror on her face constantly replayed in his mind. Her muffled cries and looks of agony that marred her face from watching her for countless days. But nothing compared to the look that plagued his nightmares. The look of defeat and resignation where she became a living corpse barely functioning at all. Hardly paying attention to her surroundings as the darkness he drive her into coursed through her veins taking over. But nothing compared to her eyes, hazel eyes, so dead he felt the cold death of her all they way to his soul.
He did that. He ruined her when he fought so hard. Argued and promised he would be better. Only for her.
His signature smirk. The one that promised pain and regret flashed across his face. He didn't hold back, taking all his anger, frustration and pain out in those short lived seconds. Hit after hit, tackling to the ground leaving the man unconscious. He didn't stop until he felt his body being ripped away from the body bringing him back to the present. Back to relive the pain all over again. The emptiness gnawed at him and wordlessly he shrugged off the hand of his manager, turning and leaving the octagon cage. Retreating back into his locker room, already mentally preparing himself to ask for the next fight.
She couldn't help it. She held her breath as she watched the pain being inflicted on him. The blood and bruises that mares his skin. The way he welcomes it as sickening as it was. All before the look of a wounded dog and pure agony on his face. The regret and frustration with which he delivered his shots before being pulled back into the present. Into the reality of what he had and lost. Of his longing and realisation of how much he had ruined. Of how much he loved her.
She didn't even know what had possessed her. What he her functioning as she pushed through the cheering crowds. Her movement becoming her jittery with every step. She lived down closer to the bottom towards the tunnel he took to his locker. She had to see him. Needed to see he was alive and going to be okay. She didn't care about the glares and men who's hands shot out to grab at her. Everything became white noise, so much so she didn't feel Xyrus and Thea follow behind her to help her Rex h her destination.
Coming up to the barriers it took all her strength and what he taught her to swing herself over. Security moved in instantaneously, halting at the command of Cyrus behind her. She paid no attention even as Nathaniel's pissed off looking manager sneered, charging at her like a bull. Before she knew it Xyrus had him by the collar dragging him away from her. Thea just managing to land on their side of the barrier, huffing with a roll of her eyes at the constant violent side of her man. Looking back she smiled encouragingly. This was her opening.
He breathing was still hard. And he knew he should probably stretch to help with the pain he would be feeling from the beating and protesting muscles that were beginning to stiffen. But her found no incentive to move. Instead he sat in the couch. The same couch he where he rested his head on her stomach, whilst he protested he needed to kiss his bruises better. And the place where he pulled her on top of him, breathing her scent in before kissing her senseless. Where that one time she fell asleep waiting on him. He was sure on the cushion he could faintly smell the remnants of her.
After all it was all he had left of her. The imprint she memories she left in this room and his stone heart. The ache in his soul so agonising he was paralysed to his seat, eyes glued to the door in a daze.
With each step she felt her resolve dissolve. Her strong girl facade crack and crumble. And by the time she stood at the front of his door, his name label wearing thin if the sides curling up were any indication she felt her body shaking. She inhaled deeply, holding her breath for five seconds before slowly letting it out in a hiss.
He could see the shadows of someone's feet outside his door. He was in no mood to deal with anyone's bullshit today. The knock on the door making a angered growl escape his lips.
"Whoever you are fuck off!"
The growl would have anyone cowering away in fear. Her man boy could be scary but never to her. Possessive, pervy and protective a better description of him for her. She thought of walking away at his words her hand stilling in that handle in contemplation. Was she really going to chicken out now after all the moves she made? She could feel her head beginning to heart and so free her waves to fall down to her waist. Pinching the bridge of her nose, she tried to keep the tears at bay.
Whoever was at the door had a death wish. It was all he could think as he heard the soft click of the door opening making his eyes shoot wide open. Bewilderment and confusion shone on his face. He knew that flash of feisty orange hair anywhere. What he didn't understand was why she would come back. He felt the first cracks in his big boy armour. The tears that shone in her eyes a she drank him in, the tremble of her lips as she held the doorknob for support as she watched him having him almost on his knees.
She couldn't help it. The tremble of her lips. The tears that had started flowing. The pain that suffocated her and the heart wrenching clench in her guy as she took him in. Broken, she could see the fragments of his aching soul. The consuming shame and guilt that flickered in his grey eyes. Straightening her spine, she walked in ignoring his eyes trained in her. Turning she closed the door with a defining click. She hear the movement, the friction against the couch as he stood.
It took everything in her, "don't."
His eyes trained on her remained unwavering. He came undone by the faint whisper of them one word from her lips in the deafening silence. He watched her move around towards the shelves near the mirror picking up the medicine box. Her figure retreating into the bathroom to return with a towel and warm water. Her presence took up all the space in the room. Entranced he watched her silently, afraid she was nothing more than a figment of is imagination.
"Sit up," he hated how her voice cracked.
But he followed her command. He wouldn't do anything to risk her leaving. Not now. He needed the few minutes she seemed to be willingly giving him. Needed this for a piece of sanity to return to him. She started by unwrapping his hands before moving on. The feeling of her cold hand on his peck had him jumping up. The urge to just hold her stronger as her tears felt harder. She hated seeing him hurt and the state of his body marred in black and blue st the moment was tearing her to shreds. He always saw her.
It hurt her physically to see the evidence of his pain. He was her saviour. Untouchable knight in shining armour, broken. She never liked seeing his bruises but never had she seen such a state, the shape he was in now. She felt the heat radiating from his peck brining her ice cold hand. Wordlessly she squeezed the water out of the hot flannel, wiping down his chest and arms, removing the perspiration and flecks of blood off of him.
Moving back in a hushed tone she commanded, "you gotta stand."
He stood hands clenched by his sides as she carried on focusing on his back. Putting the flannel down her hands aches to touch him, to feel him. To kiss away the pain. She hit her lip painfully to hold it all at bay. Hands on his shoulders she turned him back around to face her. Reaching around him she grabbed the ointment he obviously was not using as he should have been for scratches and bruises. Hands trembling she focused on unscrewing it before applying slight layer across where he needed it.
"Where is it hurting."
The last of her resolve broke, the first silent sob. He watched her still not touching, still kit believing it was her, tipping her chin up with a finger he used the other to point to his chest where his heart lay beneath.
"Here," he tapped.
Hands held his biceps as if her lifeline. Leaning in, a flutter of soft lips touching his chest, the blow of warm breath before the loss of heat and innocence in her action had him ricocheting backwards. The flinch not going unnoticed by her.
Hands held her tightly around her arms. So tight almost painful, but the fear of her disappearing ever so prevalent. His tone was harsh as he kept her rooted to her spot hiding her no choice but to bare herself. He could never hide herself from him.
"I don't know."
She slumped. Her hands clenching by her side to stop from reaching out for him, to feel him the taste of feeling his arms, igniting a fire deep below. She felt the tingling sensation of every time a part of her touched him. His forehead resting against hers. She closed her eyes.
"Baby look at me."
She hated it hated how he managed to break he even more by baring himself like this to her. The hitch and crack in his voice becoming her undoing as she frantically shook her head screwing her eye shut tighter. His arms encircling her, holding her to him like she was the centre of his world. Grounding her.
"Please baby I need to see you."
He needed to see it. That she had t given up on him just yet. That there was a slim chance of hope despite how royally he had fucked up. He pressed his lips ever so lightly against her feeling her body shiver. Her lips pares slightly as her tongue slipped out licking her lips. Her chest heaving, as his remained rooted, breath fanning her wet lips.
"Freckles, please."
No answer.
"Shortcake, I love you."
He watched her writhe in her arms in despair. Her head shaking side to side refusing to acknowledge his words. One hand shot up cradling her cheek before he did what he was dreaming of the last few weeks. He kissed her hard and rough. He tried to take away the pain. She tensed in his arms.
I'm sorry and I love you. He switched between the two as he kissed her lips and all over her face. She felt the tension in her dissolving with each kiss. As he peppered them down her neck. His lips meeting the junction of where her neck met her shoulder he nipped definitely leaving his mark. Her hands shut up. As she let the dam break open.
She broke. He anchored her. It was history repeating itself. He kissed every inch of skin he could find as she thrashed in his arms shaking and repeatedly hitting him.
"I hate you." The words hung heavy around them.
"I know baby."
He sighed out against her before looking at the fire burning in her eyes.
"I'm always going to be sorry working forever to make it up to you."
He stole a kiss.
"I'm a dickhead baby, but I'm your dickhead. Always."
He dove in for a breath stealing kiss. One of a man starved his whole life. His onslaught against her lips had her melting into him. She was a fool. A damn fool for giving in so easily. But this was them at their most vulnerable and she cherished the openness of the moment. The cracking shift in them and they moved languidly in sync. Her hands weaving through his hair tugging harshly making him release a guttural growl from the deep depths of his uncontrollable lust.
He lifted her like she weighed nothing. Her legs immediately wrapping around his waist. They fit like two pieces of a puzzle. His hands roamed freely, dipping into every curve he had memorised. Skimming over every scar that marred her torso. He later her down the the couch, fitting in between her open legs. Breaking his lips off he worked on getting her jeans shorts off and her boots, followed by his own shorts. Leisurely taking his time he unbuttoned the two buttons that held her top together to reveal his favourite girls. His eyes burned with jealousy to think how easily anyone out there could have seen what was his. And even then he couldn't help the look of a child at the candy store that lit up his face at the heavenly sight. But today there wasn't going to be any foreplay. The need was carnal and the desire consuming.
" I'm can't go easy freckles."
She responded by squeezing her waist letting him know she was more that ready. Entwining their hands above their heads, his breath fanning her face eyes trained on his he thrust so deep into her she swore she saw stars. She let go screaming so loud she was sure it echoed down the tunnel. But she couldn't care big now. All that mattered was here and now. He took her hard each thrust become more jerky than the next. One hand releasing hers and cradling her head kissing away any oxygen she had managed to take in.
"Come for me freckles."
The agonised plea setting her free. And come for him she did. So hard she felt herself lose all inhibitions and bearings of her surroundings. Of whether he followed or not consumed by the Simplicity of him and her. She gave up on gathering herself. He twisted picking up the blanket covering their bodies before collapsing on her breasts, sighing in content. She ran her hand through his hair as he kept her warm an arm wrapped around her with iron grip the other alternating between teasing her nipple and just holding her. The stated wrapped up in their own sexed up bubble, content to stay there forever.
"You fuckers done blowing each other's brains out cos me an baby doll are out!"
She jumped at the intrusion of Xyrus's voice outside banging his fist against the door. She fidgeted to move but Nathaniel kept her pinned down by his arms and stare.
"Fuck off you cunt."
He groaned turning back and seeking refuge in the valley of her breasts. Xyrus's cackles could be heard in the distant. They sounded as scary as the man. She lived the normalcy of it all, of how everything had suddenly fallen back into place. Didn't mean she was going to let him know he was already off the hook. She didn't have it in her heart to stay mad after this.
"I'm still mad at you," she sighed running a hand through his his hair.
"I know I'm sorry freckles."
Lifting his head he liked her in the eyes, the promise rung clear as the obvious desire and reassurance.
"But your it for me baby. You and me forever."
She grinned lazily," I like the sound of that."
Here eyes fluttered close and she let the bubble of laughter escape, throwing her hands around his neck pulling him in closer. He ravished her with a kiss.
Her man boy was insatiable.