I was throwing everything around. Anything my hand touched i threw it. I was beyond pissed at this point. I knew i was only making things worse in the house but i didn't give a shit. This is by far the stupidest thing Mya has ever done! And believe me, she's done a lot. And i've been easy on her but now....Fuck it! I can't believe she threw a damn party at our house! In Aunt Helen's home, the place where she took us in when we had no where to go! And she treats it like its a damn card board box! Does she have any respect for Aunt Helen, for herself?! I pick up another glass of beer on the table and throw it hard. It shattered as it hit the wall above the stove.
"Goddammit!" I cursed and put my hands on my head, breathing heavily. I felt a hand on my back and jerked and turned around, glaring.
"Babe, calm down." Ethan said. I stood there glaring at him but it took me a moment to calm down. He was the only one who could really keep me calm.
"Look at this place!" I exclaim in disbelief. I look around my home, trashed and violated.
"I know. But you need to keep calm okay. How about we stay here tonight and i'll help you clean this stuff up."
"What about Mya? Shouldn't we take her to the hospital?" I said, still mad.
"Unless you want another problem on your hands, i wouldn't. She's 17 right? Underage drinking and she was drugged at a party filled with alcohol that she threw. I don't know about you, but i don't think that's going to sit right with the cops. We're lucky they didn't show up already." Ethan said.
"But the drug?"
He shakes his head. "It should ware off. By the time she wakes up, i doubt she'll remember anything. I'm sure she'll have a headache though." He said.
"A headache is the least of her problem." I seethe. "But your right. taking her will cause more problems that i don't think i can handle right now." I mumble. I sigh and run my fingers through my hair. "Jeez! She could've gotten herself hurt tonight!" I exclaim, frustrated.
Ethan reaches for me and hugs me to him, hearing the fear in my voice underneath all the hostility. It takes me a moment to relax completely against him. But when i do, i breathe in his beautiful scent and wrap my arms around his waist. Never in my life would i have thought that i would be with this beautiful creature. He kisses my hair.
"Well, thanks to your maniac driving, we got here just in time." He teases. I smile a small smile but it fades when i pull away from him. We have work to do.
"We should get this place cleaned up." I murmured, walking past him. "You can take the outside and i'll clean in here." I suggested. I turned to him and he nodded.
It was 10:35 when we started. I spent three hours inside the house cleaning. And Ethan took a little longer outside, since our house was TP'd. Damn idiots. I had to clean Mia's room, take off all her sheets and blankets and pillowcases, throw them in her laundry basket and then pick up whatever cups were lying around. I went to clean the bathroom where i found throw up in the toilet, the corner of the mirror was cracked. Shit! I picked up the shards of glass in the sink and cut my finger. It was a deep cut but i could take it. I washed it off and grabbed a band aid from inside the mirror. When i was finished with the bathroom i walked to Mya's room. She was knocked out cold. After i put all the cups inside the big trash bag i dragged around the house, i set it outside her room and then went back in, shutting the door behind me.
I grabbed a night shirt from Mya's dresser and changed her out of her clothes. God she smelled of hard liquor. Never in my life have i drank but i sure the hell knew what it smelled like. Being around him was why i knew what hard liquor was and what wasn't. She didn't wake at all while i changed her, which worried me a little. Maybe i should take her to the doctor. But then i don't want her to get in trouble because she was drinking. I don't have a clue why she would act this why. It doesn't make any sense. This isn't her at all. Maybe Vicki and Liza had more of an impact on her than i thought. I shake my head, she was never going to hang out with them. I don't care if she disagrees with me. I'm still older than her and she's my responsibility. This is my fault. Why she's been acting this way. I should have seen some sign. Something, that would tell me she was losing it.
I realize now that i wasn't mad at her, i was mad at myself. She is my little sister and i should have been watching over her. I shouldn't have let things escalate this far. I should have told her to stop hanging out with that barbie bitch from hell and her sidekick a long time ago. It would have saved everyone a lot of heart ache. I should have kept her safe. I shake myself. I can't think right now. I have to finish up here. When i was done with Mya, i pull the covers over her and watch her chest rise and fall silently. Her breathing even. I move her hair out of her face and then walk over to her closet, her clothes in my hand. She kept her dirty basket in here. I bent down and threw it in and something caught my eye. A crate? It was behind her basket. I pulled out her basket and reached for whatever it was. When the light touched what was in my hand, i sat back on my heels, in shock.
In front of me was a crate full of alcohol. Beer bottles and hard liquor. How the hell could i miss this? How could i let her slip up like this? How long has she been drinking? I'm shocked to the core. Mya's been drinking and its been happening right underneath our noses! How could i be so stupid! This, of all things, i missed. I shake my head. I thought i knew Mya better than that. I hear a knock at the door and i'm taken out of my reverie. I get up, walking stiffly to the door. I open it and Ethan looks tired, but he sees the horrified look on my face. I really need to work on my poker face more often.
"Is everything okay?" He asks.
I shake my head sadly. "Can you do me a favor and get rid of that crate right there?" I asked, pointing to the damn thing. I couldn't look at it anymore. I don't know how people can even drink that stuff. Ugh.
Ethan peeked his head in and his eye brows shot up in surprise. He looks at me questioningly, i just shake my head again. Not right now. He steps in and picks the crate up and walks out silently. I shut the door to Mya's room after i close her closet and put her basket back. I walk to my room and open the door, ready to clean my room. I flicked on the light and looked around my room. As if more surprises were set in motion just for me, i'm shocked yet again. My window's fixed and my room isn't a mess. A new bed, kind of like my old one but a little bigger and it looked more comfortable and blinds? But how? When? Who? I didn't even notice this when i checked in here earlier. I guess i was too preoccupied cleaning up and making sure everyone was out of my house. I hear footsteps coming down the hall. I turn and find Ethan at my door. He looks....weird.
"My room is...fixed." I said to him. He doesn't look surprised.
"I know." What?
"You know? How do you know?" I asked, confused.
"My dad and my brother came while we were at school the other day. They fixed your window. My dad used to repair windows so he said he'd do it for free. He wanted to buy you a new bed and stuff so he did. He got everything done in that one day, much to my surprise. Don't be mad, but they came through the window, seeing as how the house was locked. I wanted it to be a surprise." Ethan murmured.
Wow. Should i be mad that they, in a way, broke into my house just to fix my things? No. He did this for me? Well his dad and brother. He was full of surprises. I smile at him. "I'm not mad. That was very sweet of your dad and Shane. Remind me to thank them later." I said kindly. I stepped to him and his arms encircled my waist.
"Well, it was my idea." He said. With everything that's happened, i found myself laughing.
"Well it was very sweet of you too. Thank you." I said, still smiling. I stood up on my tip toes and threw my arms around him and kissed him deeply. I broke it off and set back on my heels and we stood there, looking at eachother.
I don't know what it was but i felt something very strong pass through me and i wanted him. Right now, right here. He seemed to feel the same thing. His green eyes blazed and before i knew it, his mouth was on mine again, kissing me hungrily. He sure didn't seem tired like he was before. My arms tightened around him and he lifted me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist and cupped his face in my hands tight. All this without breaking the kiss. His hands were at my bottom, holding me to him. I felt him move, but i didn't stop kissing him. I heard the door slam shut. And then I felt him bend and then my back hit something very soft and comfortable. My bed.
My left leg was still wrapped around his hip, his hand holding it there. I ran my finger through his hair, holding his mouth to mine. His tongue slipped into my mouth and i moaned into our kiss. He moved his lips to my cheek, my jaw and down to my neck. I sighed in pleasure. He was running his hand up and down my thigh. I brought his mouth back up to mine, desperate to kiss him again. I pulled at his shirt and he broke off the kiss to quickly take it off. He threw it aside. His lips were back on mine again and our tongue's clashed.
His hand moved across my stomach. He moved my shirt up, and my skin was exposed. I shivered in deep pleasure as his hand glided over my naked skin. I shifted and found myself on top of him. I took my shirt off and bent my head to kiss him again, my hair falling around us. His hands were on my waist, and were now moving around my back and up to my hair. He flipped me over so that he was on top of me again. I am shocked that i'm even doing this but this fire building inside me was hectic. I craved to be touched by him. And i don't know if it was the adrenaline still pumping inside me from earlier or what but i being bold right now. I encircled my right leg around his wait again, as his lips were at my neck. I moved against him and he groaned and brought his lips to mine again. His hands flew to the button of my pants. When he managed to unbutton them, i went absolutely still. I think he felt me because he stopped and looked down at me. We were breathing heavily.
"I can't..." I whispered breathlessly.
"I'm sorry. It's my fault. I got carried away-"
"No. Its not you. Its just..." I try and sit up and he moves, sitting up to. "I guess i'm still a little scared, i don't know." I whisper. "I'm sorry." I said, putting my head in my hands. I was sorry. Sorry that i couldn't be the right kind of girl for him. Sorry that i didn't know if i could ever give him that kind of satisfaction.
"Hey," I heard Ethan say. He tugs on my wrists and pulls them from my flushed face. He tip my chin up to look at him. "Don't apologize. If your not ready than your not ready. I'm not rushing you. And i really did get carried away." He said strongly.
He knows how important this night would have been to me if i went through with it. But i didn't. And he wasn't rushing me into anything, which was why i loved him. He respected me in a way that no man ever did, besides my dad.
I snort. "You got carried away? I think i was the one who did."
He chuckled lowly and pulled me to him, our bare skin touching. I still can't believe i'm in my braw. But his skin felt good on mine. He kissed the top of my head. "Yeah, you sure did." He said. I smiled and slapped his leg. But he was right. I was the one who moved against him. I blushed at the memory.
I lean away form him. "Maybe we should get some sleep." I suggested. He nodded and we stood up. I hugged myself and began looking for my shirt.
"Where the hell did i put my shirt?" I whispered frustrated. I walked to the other side fo my bed, passing Ethan's shirt and looked, but found nothing. I heard Ethan laugh. I looked at him and he was holding my shirt. "Oh, there it goes." I said, walking over to him. I reached for it but he jerked it away. I looked at him, surprised. "Ethan." I said.
An evil but playful grin appeared on his face. Not again! "You know babe, you look really HOT right now." He said, eyeing me up and down. I blushed.
"Yeah yeah pervert. Now give me my shirt." I said, holding out my hand.
He smirked and dropped it into my hand but abruptly grabbed me and pulled me to him, our bar skin touching again. His hand was at my bare back while his other was on my hip. I held my shirt to my chest, recovering from his sudden move. "You really do look hot." He whispered in my ear, sending sweet shivers deep into my core. He nuzzled my ear and i was about to give in but i pushed away from him. He laughed.
"Don't even." I said, warning. I put my shirt on quickly and he winked.
"You know i'm hot too, that's why can't resist." He says, grabbing his shirt, grinning.
"Yeah, i'm sure that's why." I said sarcastically. He laughs.
"So, i guess i'll sleep in the front. Good night babe. Or morning." He said, giving me a peck on the lips. He walked past me, but i grabbed his arm and pulled him back.
"Or...you can just sleep in here." I said. He couldn't help but look surprised.
"You sure?" He asked. I nod.
"But no funny stuff." I teased. He laughed, shaking his head.
"I'll be on my best behavior." He said. I'm sure he will be. I smile and he walks to the bed. He takes off his shoes, which until now, i never noticed he had them on. He keeps his shirt on, thank God! I don't think i could stop myself....I shake my head. I turn off the light and find my way to my bed. I climb in next to Ethan. He opens his arm wide and i go into them. I lay my head on his shoulder as he wraps his arms around me, holding me to him. I can hear his lovely heart beat.
"'Night babe. I love you." He whispered.
"I love you too." I murmur softly. I kiss his shoulder and rest my hand against his chest. And we sleep.
_____________________________
I woke up before Ethan. No nightmare, which was good. His arm was sprawled over me heavily and so was his leg. His face close to mine and his breathing even. He was snoring lightly. He looked so innocent and peaceful. I kissed his head and moved from under him slowly, trying not to wake him. He shifted and murmured something but then fell silent. I walk out the room and shut it quietly, i head towards the bathroom and grab my spare toothbrush in the mirror. I brushed my teeth and washed my face. When i was done, i walked to Mya's room. She was still out. I left her door open and then i went to the kitchen to cook some breakfast. The food was gone, probably because of yesterday. I still can't seem to get over Mya.
I heard someone walking down the hall. It was Ethan. He rubbed his eyes and smiled.
"Morning babe." He said.
"Morning." I said brightly.
"You guys have an extra toothbrush?" He asked.
"Um, yeah. Check in the bathroom drawer." I said. He winked and set off to the bathroom.
I started finishing up the cleaning. There were still stains on the walls from something. I grabbed a sponge and started. I had already asked EThan to get rid of the kegs and the stereo. I didn't care what he did with them i just want them gone. I started scrubbing the stove. The living room was clean already. Aside from the couch, which was stained with wet spots. Beer. Now how was i going to explain that to Aunt Helen? I sighed. I'd put that problem on the back burner.
Ethan came back, my keys in his hand.
"Hey babe, i'm going to drop by my house really quick. Can i use your truck? I have to help Shane with something. Are you okay here or do you need me to stay?" He asked.
"Sure go ahead. I'll be fine. I just have to finish up in here. Is Aunt Helen's car clean?"
"As clean as i could get it. I rinsed it off with the water hose because those dicks on your roof spilled beer all over it. But it's good. No more cups or trash on it."
"Thanks. And the wall?" I asked.
"That, will probably need to be painted over."
I sigh. "Great. Just great." I have to go shopping for food anyways. I might as well just get some paint.
"Its cool. Don't sweat it. I have some paint at my house that matches the color of yours. Shane was going to use it for the gazebo but decided not to after he bought it. I'll bring it back and i'll paint it." He said.
"Are you sure? You don't have to."
He gave me a look. "Babe, can you just shut up and say thank you?" He said, smiling. I laughed lightly.
"Thank you." I said.
He walked over to me to give me a kiss goodbye, his mouth tasted of mint and then he was gone. I spent an hour in the kitchen, finishing up. I went to go check on Mya. She was up. She was looking around her room in confusion. I don't think she even noticed me.
"What the hell happened?" She whispered to herself.
I leaned against the wall, arms crossed over my chest. "Oh you know, just your lovely party." I said, making my presence known. Her head snapped in my direction and her eyes widened.
"I'm in deep shit." She mumbled to herself.
"I'll say." I snort.
"Look, it was just a party. Don't be so melodramatic about it." Mya said. I can't believe her. After the shit she pulled the last few days she is still talking to me like this. She gets up and stumbles, then grips her head. Headache. She's about to get one hell of a migraine. She shakes her head and moves slowly, picking out some clothes from her dresser.
"And where do you think your going?"
"To Liza's." She says, throwing her stuff on her bed.
"I don't think so." I said, my voice hard.
She snorts, still moving around in her room. "As if you can stop me."
I cock my head to the side and look at her as if she suddenly grew fangs. I step in and shut the door, and walk to her. She's about to walk tot he door but i stop her.
"Get out of my way Amelia." She says, irritated.
"No." I said.
"Get the hell out of my way." She says more forcefully.
That's it. "Ok look. I don't know where the hell this new wonder woman attitude came from but it better stop. Now!" I growled at her. I didn't stop. "You are not going anywhere without my consent."
"Ameli-"Mya protested.
"Shut up! I have had it up to here, with your self righteous attitude and your snarky remarks the past couple of days. So you are going to sit down and shut up." I said, my voice cold. She sits down on her bed in surprise. I have never talked to Mya like this but she's leaving me no choice. "I don't know what the hell has gotten into you but it needs to change."
She straightens up and her face is blank. " I don't know what your talking about." She said.
"Really? Okay. How about we count off your misdemeanors. One, you missed out on saying goodbye to Aunt Helen before her trip and you didn't even care. Two, you slept over at your friends house without even asking. Three, you terrorized my friend. Someone who didn't deserve the humiliation you and your bitchy so called friends put her through. She never did anything to you. You've been drinking and hanging with those morons..."
"Ame-"
"I'm not done!" I growl at her. She flinches. "You, lied to me about telling Vicki that i was raped. You dissed me at school and to top it all off...you threw a fucking party in our house. Our home! You know, the place where Aunt Helen took us in and raised us! The place where our little sister sleeps! Or have you forgotten all of that?!" I yell at her. I didn't stop my assault. My inner bitch was released and i was letter her have it. "You let your damn friends trash this place as if it was damn card board box! We live here, Mya! What if i had brought Mia home last night and she seen this?"
"Alright! I'm sorry!" She yells back at me. She gets up and stands in front of me. "Okay, i'm sorry. About everything. About lying to you, your friend, the party....everything!"
"Your always sorry, Mya. When are you going to mean it?" I whisper to her, my voice hard as ice.
She sits back on the bed her head in her hands. She ribs her face and i see its wet. She sniffles. "I just...when i found out Aunt Helen was leaving again....I couldn't help but think that maybe she was still going to leave. " She whispered.
"Oh for god's sake Mya! She's not leaving! When are you going to get it through that thick skull of yours?"
"But what if-"
"Listen to me! I am only going to say this once and i am not going to keep repeating myself. She's. Not. Leaving! Now you can go and parade around here like you don't give a damn or you can learn to accept it! Your choice!"
She sits there, tears streaming down like a waterfall.
"Is this what all this is about? You acting out because Aunt Helen left on a business trip?" I asked incredulously.
"Not just that. Your not the only one who's been scarred from our past Amelia. I was close to mom. You think i wanted her to leave us? You think i wasn't hurting like you were? Well i was. Every damn night i would cry myself to sleep, praying that mom would show up and take us back and apologize for everything. I'd cry for you because i know how hard it all was on you. Dad died, mom was never around and you practically had to sacrifice your own child hood to take care of me and Mia. And your still doing it! I would wake up every morning and just for one second, i thought it was all a dream. But it wasn't."
"I wished to God that things had turned out differently Amelia. And when we moved in with Aunt Helen, it only made things worse. It meant that everything that happened to us was real. That we weren't wanted by our mother. That we were hated by Decan and treated so wrong. It pained me to see you in so much pain over the years from what he did to you and most of it was because you were protecting me. You don't know how sorry i am and how much i wish i could take back those years for you. I would cry when i would hear you scream in his room and i couldn't do anything. I couldn't tell anyone because i was so scared. I let you take all the pain and i'm sorry. i'm so so sorry Amelia. I'm so sorry." She cries, her head in her hands. I've never seen her like this before and it breaks my heart.
I sit next to her and hold her. She weeps into my arms and I hold her tighter. I never realized that she was so tortured by what happened to me and by our mother. I mean, she was just as messed up as i was, but she hid it well. Another thing i missed. I really don't know my sisters. But i continue to console her. She's been carrying around this for most of her life, alone and she's just now letting it all out. And it explains a lot.