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We plan, scheme, and sweat over our rescue mission. The 3 other quarters and I sit huddled around a large table covered in blueprints and various pieces of paper in a room adjoining the control base.
For weeks now we have been devising a foolproof plan that ensures our recovery of Ally. We've been using all of our spare time to lock ourselves in this room with each other and these papers. With the fourteen members of our team prepared, we're almost ready to leave. In fact, our scheduled allotment of time to go is in 2 days. Friday August 3rd.
Normally I would not remember dates but this one is especial. This Friday is my birthday. The thought of being 20 years old is abnormal to me; I still feel as inexperienced as a child. On the other hand I've probably cultivated more events, hap-hazard or not, than anyone else turning 20.
Nathan lifts his head, unsettling his glasses from his straight nose.
"I think we should leave it at that for tonight. We have time to squeeze in a training session before lights out." He says.
Lights out. It reminds me of Corruptio; the city I once called home. The lights turned off every night at 9 to save energy. Thats when the night horrors came out. I wonder what happened to the cities. The Leto must have replenished them because my mother took residence back in our old area.
I nod in agreement, dropping my pen on the table. The dim lighting of the room tires my eyes and makes me think of the sleep my legs are so desperate for.
Kyle stretches out against the back of his chair.
"Lara shall we go?" Kyle asks. I nod my head slowly.
Nathan glances curiously at his brother and then at me. His eyes jab bluntly into my own, pressing a question. I shrug.
"Iron, you coming?" Nathan turns to look at Iron. His head is still bent laboriously over papers, his hand frantically scribbling drawings.
"Iron we have the plans worked out. You need to train." I say tiredly. Truthfully though my body ails the idea of any more exercise, I'm desperate to get back in the gym and push myself even further. I'm exhausted but more energetic than ever.
Iron doesn't reply. He's stayed up late every night while the rest of the STO sleeps. The Guards report that he doesn't leave the room until 3 in the morning when he goes to train. Hes wearing himself down.
Kyle and Nathan glance worriedly at me. I nod my head at the door signalling for them both to leave. They nod their heads in understanding and head towards the door. As they open the door the brief hum of the noisy control base echoes throughout the room before the door swings close once more. Iron doesn't even look up.
I sigh and drag my chair closer to his. I was sitting opposite earlier, so it requires a large amount of the energy that I don't have to drag the chair across the room.
I touch his shoulder gently and he flinches.
"Iron you need to stop working. We've got this figured out."
Iron looks up, his eyes filled with disbelief.
"Everything needs to go absolutely to plan. It must go to plan." He says, his voice sounds childish and scared. He's trying to convince himself.
"Iron you won't be abe to function properly unless you fit some sleep into your schedule. Its not healthy staying up so late and then training." I say pitifully.
His hazel eyes focus on me so he appears to have the expression of a wounded animal. I take that as my sign to continue.
"Come on, I'll take you back to the compartment and you can rest." I say calmly.
Immediately his eyes light up. "No." He growls. "I need to train."
"Iron you need to sleep." I say a little too desperately. At this rate he won't even be able to take part in the mission on Friday. "You won't be fit and well rested for Friday. You'll be a danger to yourself and the rest of us."
"This is my mission Lara. I make the decisions." He says firmly.
"And how do you think you're going to make those decisions huh? You won't even be able to defeat a Sicarii at the moment." I reply furiously but as soon as the words are out of my mouth I regret them. That was a low blow and one I'm surely going to pay for.
Iron glares at me. Though his body language is calm, I know that inside he's brewing up a storm. Iron Knoxx, the gentle killer. I remember that is how I described Iron when I first met him. He was kind and sweet back then, he still is, but now he's also developed a backbone. One that could support the weight of the world without shattering.
"I'm sorry." I sigh. "I didn't mean that."
"Apology accepted. I'll see you in the compartment, I'm going to turn in." He grunts.
I watch as he walks away from me. At least he listened to me but I still feel extraordinarily guilty. Perhaps I pushed it too far? But then again its my job to look out for him and what I said wasn't incorrect.
I sigh and follow in pursuit of him. I'll train first, allow him some time to cool off before I apologise again. It won't be strenuous work to find him seeing as I'm sleeping on the sofa in his compartment. It comforts me knowing there is someone else in the room and frankly we both need someone checking up on us.
Luckily he won't struggle to much longer. His fight for his happy ending is what will make it worth it.
It's been weeks since the fateful day with Jared and only a couple of days less since I lost Carlisle. I'm okay though. I'm 100% okay. I'm just also 95% not okay but it all adds up in the end.
My daily schedule consists much as it did upon my arrival at the STO base with a few added responsibilities. Wake up, train, eat, train others, eat, train, routine checks, train others, eat, train, plan session, bed. Nobody comments on my monotonous routine; for once they understand that it is what I need right now.
I loop my hair into a bun and straighten out my suit. I take a final glance around the room littered with the meaningless papers. Half of which will be completely useless. I shut the door and lock it.
Nobody turns around in the control room as I walk through. They're all glued to their computer screens or too absorbed in their conversations. Somethings never change I scoff to myself. However, at least they're speaking to one another now instead of through the technology.
I see Kyle waiting at the door to the control room. He smiles when he sees me coming so I make an effort to force a grin onto my face. Its the least Kyle deserves. He's been so kind, so patient with me no matter what my mood.
"Is he ok?" He asks as I reach him.
"I convinced him to sleep." I sigh.
As we stroll out of the control room, I increase the pace urging myself to reach the gym quickly.
"You know you need to sleep to Lara?" Kyle says.
I nod my head.
"Perhaps you should skip tonights training?" Kyle suggests.
I shake my head. There is no way. I need to be fit and strong. Its only 10 30 and I don't want to be left alone with my thoughts for the next 8 hours.
"Lara what is the point of you training yourself so hard when you won't even be able to stay awake on Friday. I'm sorry but if you don't head back to your compartment now I'll have to remove you from this mission." Kyle says.
"You can't do that." I gasp.
"Yes I can Lara. I have half a mind to remove Iron as well." Kyle says grimly.
"I thought you understood Kyle?" I say. "Please don't kick me off - this mission is the only thing I have to focus on right now."
Kyle grips my hand and squeezes tight.
"Lara, I understand, you know I do." He swallows. "But I won't be able to live with myself if I don't take action and then you end up getting yourself killed as a result. This won't be like last time - we're going to have to fight this time."
I wriggle my hand out of his grip uncomfortably. The feeling of unease returns as the recurring thought that Kyle has a slightly different viewpoint on our relationship reers its head. At the beginning I accepted his protective nature as friendly but I've begun to see changes in his behaviour that make me wary. He holds my hand, he kisses my cheek when he walks me back to my compartment and I often find his gaze rested on me. What puzzles me is that we've never bonded. Though that may be the cause of shattering my bond with Jared - it's need to mend before I can form new bonds.
There will never be anyone else for me in that context though.
But then again, maybe he's taken it to heart that he is one of the only people I will communicate with.
I miss my mother. I wish she was here so I could talk to her. Yet she's off living a normal life, unaffected by the brewing revolution, in the city of Corruptio. She's flown off home and how badly I wish I could join her; I could forget all about this revolution, Jared, my responsibilities. But I promised Carlisle. It soothes me to know that Corruptio is no longer dangerous with the cleansed humans who have established residence there.
"Lara?" Kyle says worriedly, placing his fingertips on my forearm. I've spaced out again.
"If I go back to the compartment, do you promise you won't kick me off?" I ask hopefully, looking up into his eyes. He contemplates the idea and sighs, giving in.
"Okay." He says reluctantly. "Lara I'm only allowing you to come if you sleep for at least 8 hours a day. I know you haven't been lately. Iron says you've not been inside the compartment when he's come back at night, is that true?"
"Yes." I reply. Kyle's features cloud over, filling his grey eyes with controlled anger.
I'm a hypocrite.
"Do you have any idea how hypocritical you're being Lara? Telling Iron he needs rest when you're not sleeping yourself." Kyle fumes. "Ridiculous." He says derisively.
I wince guiltily. I know I've been incredibly hypocritical telling Iron he has to obtain more rest when I myself have not been getting the adequate amount. Yet I can't sleep properly. I get a few hours before my brain awakens to the horrendous memories. I've been doing well throughout the day and maintaining a brave facade. However night is my worst nightmare. The memory of Jared breaking the bond replays over and over again in my mind until I'm awoken in terror. I'm frightened of a memory, I'm frightened of reliving the pain. I feel like a baby when the umbilical cord is cut from its mother; I can no longer rely on someone else for supplements like happiness and love. What agonises me most is that I have to admit I still love him and I probably always will .
"I know." I grit my teeth.
"I don't want to be angry with you Lara." Kyle sighs, his fury cooling off.
I shrug my shoulders. I do bring out all shades of the spectrum of emotion around others.
"I just want you to be happy." Kyle says, his eyes meet mine.
I shrug my shoulders again and break eye contact. He sounds like Carlisle. Oh, that stings. I feel Kyle's fingers press on the underside of my chin and lever it up gently.
"Promise me that you'll sleep and I'll give you clearance to come on this mission." Kyle says. I roll my eyes, exhaling heavily. Technically I already have clearance but if this is what it will take to get his approval on the subject, I'll agree.
"Perfect." He says. "Now lets get you back to your compartment."
We trudge in silence the whole way unti we're outside the block, walking down the cobbled streets. A young girl skips across the street, breaking away from her mother. She runs over to me and I jolt backwards. I think she has been in one of my training sessions as I recognise her face vaguely.
"Hello Lara." She says. Her large green eyes glow with excitement.
"Suzi is it?" I question. Her smile doesn't fall so I presume I've got it right.
"I wanted to speak to you after training the other day but you left so quickly." She says, sounding slightly disappointed. Suzi looks up to Kyle who smiles kindly.
"What did you want to say?"
"I-I." She starts a little nervously. "I wanted to ask you where Jared is?"
I stiffen immediately and Kyle looks worried.
She continues. "I want to see you two together. Everyone is always saying how a love like yours is so rare and I want to see it. Then when I'm older I want to be just like you so I can find it myself." Suzi beams not knowing quite how seriously her words have winded me.
Luckily Kyle comes to my aid. "Jared isn't here at the moment."
"Where is he?" Suzi asks curiously. Her blond pigtails bounce as she tosses them behind her back. By this time her mother has caught up with her and places a restraining hand on Suzi's shoulder.
"I'm so sorry Warrior Hall." She apologises before turning to face Suzi. "Suzi what did I tell you about running off?" She scolds.
"Sorry mum." Suzi says casting her eyes downwards.
"Its perfectly alright." I say thickly knowing full well that it is not.
"Well we best be going. Goodnight." Suzi's mother nods. Suzi smiles at me once more before her mother takes her hand and leads her in the other direction.
"How badly do you want to shoot yourself?" Kyle asks.
"If you had only kept your gun with you." I reply grimly. Kyle lets out a small chuckle. "She's only a kid. Not many people know though." I say.
"They don't need to." Kyle says. "They have no right to know all of your personal details."
I nod gratefully. We continue to progress towards the compartment building. As I walk up the stairs, I can't help but think I won't have any energy left by Friday. I activate the control pad for compartment 22 and open the door.
Kyle normally doesn't enter the room and leaves me at the door. However, he strolls in and begins to slip off his shoes.
"What are you doing?" I ask.
"Making sure you follow through with our deal." He shrugs.
I smile with satisfaction to see Iron's door his closed. He only shuts it to sleep. Kyle heads over to the closet where fresh linen is stored and brings out a spare duvet and pillow.
He arranges the duvet and pillow on the fluffy rug opposite my couch. He lifts his arms and begins to pull off his suit. As he brings the suit down to his forearms, I notice the tattoo of the STO's symbol imprinted on his chest. I avert my eyes as he begins to take off the bottom half. He has mentioned before that he only sleeps in his underwear. I feel far too embarrassed to even contemplate the idea of changing in front of him.
"Kyle is this necessary? Iron is here." I say hurriedly as he settles down on the floor. The hardwood cannot be comfy.
"I know you Lara, you'll try and sneak out. Iron wouldn't be able to stop you seeing as he's asleep." Kyle says. "Switch off the light when you're changed - I can't sleep with it on." He snuggles down under the duvet.
I fidget uncomfortably. I can't make him leave but then again I don't want him to witness my midnight screams and sobs. He thinks I'm okay.
Then again, that may be why he's been so forward.
"Kyle." I lick my lips apprehensively. "If you hear any screams in the night." I choke on my words. I don't want to admit my problems. "Don't worry - its completely normal."
I see Kyle's eyes fill with the pity that he tries to mask. I know its anything but normal. He nods his head. in understanding.
I sigh and grab my night clothes from under my pillow before dragging myself to the bathroom. I change, brush my hair and brush my teeth. Despite everything, when I look in the mirror I look better than I ever have before. I've gained muscle and lost my thin 'track' look. My hair is thicker and my skin is clearer from the healthy food and exercise. If only I felt as good on the outside.
I exit the bathroom and creep back to my couch. My duvet is warm and inviting as is the prospect of sleep at this point. I sigh and reach for the light switch.
"Night." Kyle grunts.
"Night." I reply.
I hear Kyle muttering under his breath and strain my ears to hear.
"...One day I'll make you happy."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A violent shaking of my body wakes me up. I feel the sheen on sweat covering the entire length of my body. I shudder in fear.
"Lara its ok. You were having a nightmare." Kyle says soothingly, stroking my palm with the back of his thumb.
I relax and lie back weakly against the crisp pillow. I don't remember the specifics of my dream.
"Try and go back to sleep." He whispers, pressing his lips against my forehead.
All too soon I'm slipping back into oblivion.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I awaken several more times in the night so when I awaken in the morning at 10 am I groan with annoyance. I've overslept by 3 1/2 hours. I roll over and see Kyle sprawled all over his makeshift bed. I yank at the pillow behind my head and toss it at Kyle who awakes with a start.
"Jesus Lara." He groans. "You couldn't have just called me."
"We overslept." I say, frantically climbing off the couch and searching for my suit.
"I cleared our schedules for the day. We both need to sleep after last night." He mumbles through his pillow.
I stop my antics and collapse back on the couch. I guess three hours of sleep isn't sufficient for other people. I glance at Iron's door to see it is still closed. He must have the day off as well.
"Sorry." I say sheepishly.
Kyle smiles sleepily. "I didn't mind."
I wrap the cosy duvet around my body and cocoon myself into the comfy couch.
"I say we eat some breakfast and then get some sleep?" Kyle suggest. I nod my head in agreement. The idea sleeping in the hours of the day doesn't seem quite so daunting. It appears like the perfect way to spend a day off.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Lara wake up." Kyle calls. "We have a final briefing before tomorrow."
I open my eyes groggily to meet Kyle's gaze. His eyes soften as they rest on mine. I feel slightly uneasy at the close proximity as he crouches by my side.
"You look so beautiful." Kyle whispers.
I tear my gaze away uncomfortably. I feel a slight breeze before a soft pressure on my lips register. Before I can even process whats happening, Kyle stands up.
"I had to do that." He says before lolling off into the bathroom, pulling a shirt on as he goes. I let my head fall and groan into my pillow.
Why did he have to do that? He has to realise I'm not ready for any kind of relationship. Not now, not for a long time.
The bathroom door opens and I lift my head. Kyle strolls out smiling at me.
"Your turn." He nods towards the bathroom.
I get up awkwardly and grab my suit. It reminds me that I need to get a new one or wash this one before we leave. I feel Kyle's eyes watching me all the way until I shut the bathroom door.
Calm down, breathe.
I change quickly and brush my hair back into a plait. The time on the clock displays 6.50pm. Presumably the meeting is at 7.
But what should I do about Kyle? I could pretend it never happened? That way I'll only have to deal with the issue if it comes up again.
"Lara are you ready?" Kyle calls from outside.
I inhale heavily before returning to the living area. Kyle smiles at me before opening the compartment door and ushering me out.
"We'll have to walk quickly otherwise we'll be late." Kyle says.
We move agilely throughout the building and quickly reach the cobbled street. Kyle grasps my hand in his own and tows me forward. I half-run to keep up with his brisk pace.
Manouevring quickly through the street and through the passage ways of the Block we reach the meeting room as the clock chimes 7.
Nathan and Iron are already discussing as we enter. Iron glances at the clock.
"Just in time." He says.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The meeting goes painfully slowly until the other quarters decide at 10 o clock that we are definitely ready. With 2 new members added for extra protection we have more than enough qualified persons within the team.
"Tired?" Kyle smiles as I stifle a yawn. I nod.
He takes my hand and pulls me up.
"If you don't mind, I'll sleep on the floor again tonight. I need to make sure you get a good sleep." Kyle says sweetly.
"Okay." I reply awkwardly as Iron and Nathan gaze on in confusion.
"Goodnight." Kyle says, tugging gently on my hand. I nod my goodbyes, too exhausted to formulate a sentence.
"Goodnight." Iron replies.
The control room is still buzzing with activity. We've only made a few steps before the intruder siren sounds.
My eyes widen, searching frantically for the Sicarii. I turn to face the Palatio ship, cursing that I don't have my weapons.
"C'mon Lara." Kyle cries over the siren.
However I'm frozen, staring at the intruder on the top of the stairs leading to the entrance of the ship. His face is blown up on the large screen so the Warriors can seek his location and I can't tear my eyes away. His unruly black hair falls untidily over his hair and bloody body wobbles precariously. His eyes are filled with agonising pain.
A fleet of Warriors begins to charge up the stairs, guns at the ready to shoot the intruder. My breath catches in my throat as my shattered bond inside my stomach begins to throb. The man throws his hands up in surrender and his knees buckle. The bruises on his arms shine through his torn clothes.
I clench my fists.
"Please." He yells, his voice projected by the screen. "Please, I request sanctuary." His voice cracks and he collapses on the floor.
My legs tingle and my head pounds before I feel myself pass out.
Jared is back.