JENNIE KIM
Yoongi was handling some of an absent Jimin's affairs at his quarters so I ended up staying with Seokjin until his future bride would arrive. To say I was nervous was just the middle section of what I was feeling. I was confused and heartbroken half the time for different reasons but I could even express myself with ease the way I'm used too when I was human.
"You both had an altercation?" Seokjin asked with tenderness and I rolled my eyes.
"Please don't say it as if we beat each other to death all the time."
He shrugged with pouty lips. "I dunno. You two are quite the feisty couple."
I can't help but roll my eyes at him again, a natural feeling of annoyance I got with this frisky demon from time to time. "Seokjin-ah, does it ever, I don't know, bother you that you might be a little too honest?"
"Eh."
I sighed. "We broke up."
He broke into a fit of pained laughter. "Shut the fucking barn doors. No you two didn't."
"I'm more than one hundred percent sure Chaeyoung hates me and Yoongi didn't help the fact that she does either."
Jin waved me towards him so I can hear him out, his bitter silence a sign that I'll be hearing something I'm not going to completely like. "Jennie. Now is a good time to realize your husband isn't the man you want him to be."
I wanted to react. I wanted to hurt with that sentence alone but all I can feel is what I suffer. Nothing. Which caused me pain even more.
"He's a man of pure devotion. Pure adoration for anyone he's grown to care for. But he draws the line there. He can't properly love like you can, Jennie. He can only love as much as he can to himself. We are carried souls from the past who are forced to suffer with a loophole. For him, that's you."
"Am I wrong.. to fight for myself sometimes too?"
"Of course not. But—"
"Talking about me?"
Our heads whipped around to see the love of both my past life and present in his mightiest form, eyes wide with disconcern and an eyebrow raised. I looked down with guilt knowing better than to strike against the connection between my own feelings and thoughts to his. Seokjin pierced at his own lips before turning away from him and me both.
Seokjin cleared his throat making me trudge towards the couch on the other side of the room. "Don't do this here. We're having a visitor."
"Yes hyung."
And like that, just a minute went by that we can taste adrenaline on our lips, our tongues.. we can feel it rolling through our system like energy. We knew the moment she walked in, she existed.
This is what he meant.. when he said demons like the thrill.
I might not eat people but it tasted great to know of other's sufferings because of what I've become. It was odd. To feel no remorse. Because that's just not who I was.
I felt an even odder bad occur to me when she walked into the room. Her face was pale, her body reeked of the retched demon king everyone worships in this god damn hell he controls, and her heart was searching for a way out. But her eyes were different. She felt confused and deterred. I knew what that feeling was.
She liked Jimin. More than she wanted to.
And I can only blink at her with a frown on my face cause that's the best I can do.
"My baby's getting married!"
I snapped my gaze towards Seokjin who had no refrain from being his bubbly self. I watched Chaeyoung look at him overwhelmed by the sudden change in environment. He was different. I analyzed her movements, the rush of heat she felt, the feeling of numbness was just odd to feel off her.
The conversation, was as per usual with Seokjin leading it, a rare sight on Chaeyoung to look so utterly vulnerable. Eventually I was dragged into it, her wedding plans being scheduled now and I didn't feel good inside that I had to just nod and stand there like an idiot.
I didn't expect either that Jimin would drag back an old flame. A flame before I was existent in their lives— someone who's name wasn't even brought up before. I was just as shocked maybe not as angry as she, to hear Jimin's lustrous moans apparent from the other room. I instinctively turned to Yoongi with a crooked expression, his animalistic almost. Protective over the feelings of the one true to his intentions, his protectee. I was different. I was bound to Yoongi now and may be blind to a lot of things, but I can't help being angry that someone who was dear to me was treated so unkindly.
I followed the commotion when Chaeyoung sprinted already towards the scene and watched from a close distance as my best friend broke in bits and pieces to a heartless soul of a demon king. I know what it's like to feel. That was what I was meant to be— a human. I saw her break down, to feel used and to be completely humiliated in front of multiple presences. It was almost nauseating to watch.
I took a deep breath, knowing my next move was out of Yoongi's control but he knew and let me do it. I don't know if it was because of what I said, that I can't let her go. But he let me.
So before Jimin can be himself, I grabbed her for me. The demon side of me taking charge.
.
"I'm sorry, Chae."
I watched the poor girl, who was once my best friend break into a paralysis of pain and dissociation. I could only stand there, pretending to know what it felt like to hurt when I could only know. I can't feel to know what pain she was going through because even though it's never happened to me before, I'm punished with the sacrifice of loving Yoongi to only feel for him. And that's a pain I'm willing to compromise to as selfish as that may seem.
Yoongi is what I live for. Chaeyoung... can only be an object of my past life.
Yoongi was right. I can't love anyone more than him.
"I have to deal with Jimin now, babe." I tried to talk to her as calmly as possible but her eyes didn't waver. "He won't be able to find you in the mean time. So do what you want to do, okay?"
Silence. As expected from a pained human. I'd be silent too.
"Babe?"
I sighed defeatedly knowing well too that Chaeyoung wasn't happy with me still. Despite it all, what she lacks the most is the presence of comfort. And though I can't give her what I was once capable of doing, I pressed my lips against the side of her head not expecting a movement in response.
Come home.
His voice left a bittersweet trickle down my spine and I held to my goodbye just to appear so easily in front of my counterpart that I was so desperately in love with.
"Actions like that come with consequences, honey, you know that." My unhappy fiancé walked past me, brushing my shoulders upon seeing my unamused expression. "Don't give me that look."
"What?" I rolled my eyes stalking behind him. "So I'll just let him rape my best friend, take her purity straight from her heart just like you did to me. And then you think it's okay for me to just watch her break before the real breaking starts, Yoongi? Hm?"
"Jennie."
"Don't." I choked out a sigh of frustration. "Please don't try to reason with me. All we do is fight. Because you can't seem to figure out the difference between being in love with me and being just god damn possessive. Regardless if you're a heartless demon!"
Before I knew, my body was stuck position. Held by stinging wraps on all my limbs. I could barely choke a breath let alone that I don't even need it. My auburn eyes burned into his white orbs, finding the irritated red dots smacked in the middle of them both. I couldn't find my love in there. His love for me either.
"You can torture me, Yoongi." I hoarsely told him wrapping my frail fingers around his arms. "But I can torture you too."
His eyes flashed black. A color I've never seen on him before. Then I realized this isn't my fiancé.
"Put me down, Jimin."
Yoongi smirked before he dropped into my own arms, back in a plastic form he played out every day. Jimin held my shoulders behind me as I held my fiancé's still limp body in my arms.
"Very observant, you are." Jimin laughed. "Now where's the girl?"
"Will it get you away from my fiancé." My blood boiled. The fact that he used my man to get to my pain.
"Absolutely." He pressed his lips to my ear, making me flinch forward. "I'll give her a two hour head start, why not."
"You're a monster." My lips quivered.
"A monster that controls your hubby." He whispered tauntingly. "And controls you, my sweet tender fallen child."
"Don't play with me, Jimin." The venom oozing out of me was apparent. Enough for him to lift his singed hands from my skin. He hissed, not liking the rebellious aura of my anger as a demon. "She's where you'd hate her to be the most. And that's all I'll give."
"You're a doll."
"Not yours." I hissed. "Get out of my house, Jimin."
It didn't take twice. I felt broken. To say what I had hidden to someone else. Yoongi didn't hear a word I said not that he deserved it anyway. Until he woke up, I sat stroking his hair hearing his tormenting whispers of what he feels deep inside that curious mind of a demon. Soulless, heartless, pure and real. My hands wrapped over his perfect neck, feeling the rush of his thick black ink like blood against my touch.
Before I became his, I didn't know what that screeching noise was. It was awful. Horrifying and unbearable. But now. It pained me to know that the whispers was of his burdens. What his body and expression couldn't represent.
"Baby.." I mumbled seeing his eyes just whip open to mine.
"I'm sorry." He mumbled. "I'm sorry for letting him have you. Even just for little."
I chuckled softly shaking it off for him. "I'll always be yours."
"Hm." He hummed. "How's Chaeyoung?"
I sighed. "Sacrificed her.. to have you untouched. He's ruining our system. I can't have that."
"Something's bothering you." He stared up at me, trying to read what I was hiding from him. "What aren't you telling me, honey?"
I watched his eyes, the one thing I knew was real most the times I ever speak with him face to face. It's the one thing that kept me sane.
Then I felt something. A part of me inside that felt dull and numb. My lips parted as if I felt uneased, Yoongi sitting to hold my shivering body with crying hands.
"Baby! Jennie, what the fuck's the matter with you?"
I couldn't see straight, I couldn't think, as if there was a weird radiation fucking with my head. Everything I thought I once knew was changing in the minute and I don't know. I was confused, in pain, feeling lost. I felt as if I had no control over myself and Yoongi either. Until I came to a halt. My reality certainly changing in the midst.
I huffed a breath. "I lost her. I don't know. Y-Yoongi, I can't— I can barely remember. My best friend."
"What a fucking—"
"Yoongi?" I stared at him. My sole sanity, I looked to him for help. But he stared at me. Like he always did. Lifeless and dull.
"I'm sorry, Jennie."
My jaw clenched. "You never really are.."