Authors Note: Hi! My amazing friend tomlinsonstreet made me an amazing cover. I'm so in love with it. Thank you!
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You see, as soon as I turned 18 I moved right to London to pursue my dream of being a photographer. London is so beautiful I thought I'd have inspiration, not heartbreak. I have a job at a minor photography store but it's only part time. Harry takes up most of my time.
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My phone rang quietly, playing an annoying iPhone ringtone. I walked into the kitchen to get my phone. I shouldn't even bother, I knew that it was a text from Harry. I sighed deepy but opened it anyway.
New text from: Harry Styles:
Can I please just talk to you for 10 minutes, please? I love you. x
I sighed as I read those words. I know I wanted to, but I know this would just end in a fight and most likely someone from One Direction coming to my door, invading my privacy, and telling me Harry loves me. I've heard it a million times.
Let me tell you something, I still do love Harry. Yes, love. I will not let that show, though. It's been a long 3 months standing my ground about not giving into Harry and I'm not letting my guard down now.
I know he loves me, I know he truly does. I love him, but he hurt me. Harry hurt me so bad and I'm not sure I'm ready to forgive him. I know I always say he hurt me and that's why I won't date him, but it's true. I have no other reason, honesty. That is basically my only reason that I am not dating him.
I love him I'm just not ready. I'm scared to get hurt again. It's not fair to me, and I am the only one who get's hurt. Harry didn't seem hurt, he just seemed broken. There's a difference.
Harry is very sweet, but he's mean. Well, not like that. He's mean because of what he did. I trusted him with my entire heart. Cheating made me think very differently of him, in a bad way. I used to think he was a caring, great person, now all I see is that image of him and his other.
That moment I was them kissing, I swear I felt my heart literally shatter into a million pieces. I hope he heard it too, then he would feel guilty for hurting me. That's how it feels to get your heart broken.
He hurt me and I don't plan on letting him back into my life any time soon. At least I hope, I hope I can be strong enough and not let my guard down. Looking at his broken eyes isn't easy, but it has to be done in order to help myself move on.
I texted him back, You have five minutes, come over.
This was a bad choice, I know it was. Maybe he could possibly change my mind? There was something deep, deep inside of me that wanted everything to work out. Might I add a small sliver of hope, also. I also knew that wouldn't happen though, he hurt me. In all honesty, I miss him.
I wish he would just run up into my apartment, tackle me onto the couch, smother me with kisses. Then we can lay together for the rest of the night. Not saying anything, just cuddling. I want to be in his arms again.
I heard a knock on my door, signaling that Harry was over. It was a light knock, like he was afraid he'd break the door.
"I would try and apologize but I've said everything I could have said. Nothing has changed your mind." Harry said as he walked through my door. Oh, how he was wrong.
There was one thing that could change my mind, I just haven't thought about it yet. One thing that could make our relationship whole again, but again, I haven't thought about it.
There's a secret to my love; an amusement park. If you take me to an amusement park I'll probably do whatever you want. I don't know, it's my weakness. I hope he doesn't find out, then I'd be like putty in his hands. I don't want to be so vulnerable, which I know I will be if he finds my weakness.
"And nothing will, Harry. You should know that." I say, closing the door. I choose to leave out my weakness.
"Come on, babe," Pushing it, Harry. "I know I'm pushing it. I just have wanted one last chance to prove you that I'm not the Harry you saw 3 months ago on my porch. You didn't even give me a a chance to explain myself!" Harry sighed, throwing his hands up in frustration.
"Don't ever call me babe." I snapped at Harry. It's not like I don't like that pet name, I do, just not when he says it. It makes me fall for him all over again. His perfect accent just make the word babe sound like heaven.
"Alright, but at least your talking to me!" He paused, taking my hand in his, before I pulled away "Thank you for at least letting me come over coming over. "
I didn't answer. I just pointed to the door and hid my face by looking down. I didn't want him to see me cry. My guard is up.
After realizing that I wasn't going to say anything Harry said, "I love you, so much." and walked out the door.
•
I waited for ten minutes, Louis finally called. I was sitting on my couch with my head in my hands and my phone on the table, waiting. I knew someone was going to call, or text.
I'm used to this by now. Harry would go to his bandmates, tell them I'm giving him a hard time, or won't listen to him, or made him leave, and they'd call.
"Hello? Chloe?" Louis' voice rang through my cell phone. Well who else do you think you're talking to? You did call my phone, Louis.
"What do you want, Louis?" I asked, annoyed. I already knew the answer, I just wanted to hear what he had to say. Maybe it was different this time.
"I want you to take Harry back, he loves you! I know he came over today and he told me he felt something when you looked at him. Hear me ou-" I cut him off. No I was not going to hear you out.
"No, if he really loved me he wouldn't of cheated on me. That's that, Lou. Don't even try and tell me that shit. I know what I saw. Oh, and that something that he felt was probably guilt."
"Just know, Harry wants more than anything to take back that night. You won't let him even tell you the full story and I can assure that if you heard the story you'd reconsider. " Louis said quietly.
"Goodbye, Lou." I sighed.
"Goodbye, Chloe-Bear." Louis hung up the phone. I rolled my eyes at his annoying nickname that he insists on calling me.
I turned off my phone. I laid back and closed my eyes, letting out a sigh. I needed to take a shower to destress myself from everything. I went into the bathroom but before I could even turn on my shower, I heard a knock on my door.
I rolled my eyes, guessing it was Harry. They never know when to stop, really. I opened my door to reveal Zayn Malik. He was leaning against my door frame with that stupid smirk on his face.
"Hello, love. Don't you look lovely this evening?" Zayn remarked at my messy, unbrushed hair and messed up makeup.
"What do you want, Zayn?" I asked annoyed. I desperately needed a shower and they were just bugging me now. He was even pointing out about how I needed a shower.
"You know, there is an easy solution for us to stop bugging you, love. But I want to talk." Zayn smiled. Shut up, pretty boy.
"Going back to Harry isn't a easy solution, Zayn. If he wouldn't of cheated on me, I wouldn't of had to break up with him. Why do I have to keep reminding you that he cheated on me? No, I do not want to talk. I need a shower, goodbye." I said.
I can take the casual fight with a boyfriend, and get over it, but when he cheats, that's when I loose all respect and I do not want anything to do with him. Too bad I wanted everything to do with Harry.
I tried to shut the door but his foot stopped it. I grunted and sighed annoyingly.
"Please, just leave me alone!" I raised my voice at him, catching him off guard.
"Easy solution." Zayn smirked. I wanted to slap him.
I closed the door and locked it, making sure that he didn't come back. It was so overwhelming that I had all of the One Direction boys stalking me, trying to get me back with Harry. If I was a normal person, I would have loved this. But I am not normal after what has happened to me, so I do not love this.
I took my shower finally and as I dried my long brown hair, I heard a knock on my door. I thought it was my front door so I just decided to wait a minute while I dried my hair. Then, whoever it was, knocked again. I finally registered the knock was coming from my bathroom door. Who could possibly be at my bathroom door? I was starting to get scared.
"W-who is it?" I asked, shaking slightly.
"Who do you think, babe?" Babe. Freaking babe. It was Harry. I could practically hear the smirk in his voice.
I forgot I gave him a key and never got it back. Stupid, Chloe.
"What the hell? What do you want!" I yelled as I swung the bathroom door open. He was casually sitting on my counter like he hadn't just walked into my flat.
"I want you." Harry smiled. I saw the desperateness in his green eyes. I looked away, I couldn't feel bad if I didn't see what was happening. I knew he was looking at me, staring at me.
He got off the counter and took two long strides towards me. Harry lightly grabbed my chin, making me look at him. His eyes were sad and I wanted to look away but Harry's hand on my chin made that impossible.
"Next joke please." I smirked.
"Oh, that hurt, babe." He smirked back. Babe. His smirk was pretty adorable.
"Don't call me babe." I said angrily. I thought we made this clear earlier.
"Okay. Let me ask you something?" He asked. His eyebrows moved up and down, making me smile slightly. He always knew how to change the mood, my mood. He always knew how to make me happy.
"What?" I asked, finally looking away from his hypnotic green eyes.
"Why did you love me?" I had to think for a second. I was not expecting that question.
"Because, you were nice, sweet, and everything inbetween. Now I know I have a terrible taste in boys." His eyes looked sad when I said the last part, it had to be said.
"Ouch." He said. He seriously looked sad. I looked away, once again. I don't like seeing his sad emotions. It makes me want him more. It makes me want to just hug him and tell him I'm here for him.
Stand your ground, Chloe.
"Now get out, before I call the cops." I said slowly.
"What are you going to say? Oh, Harry Styles broke into my apartment! Two problems with that sweety.
1.) They will think your prank calling them
2.) I didn't break in to your apartment, I used my key that you gave me." Harry said.
At this point, I realized he was indeed right. I was loosing this battle so I went with my last instinct. This was my last resort and I hoped it worked.
"Go home. Leave me alone!" I said loudly. Harry puffed and casually walked out. I suddenly felt alone, and I wanted him to come back.
It's weird. I want Harry so much, but all I do is push him away. If I actually wanted him badly, I guess I wouldn't push him away. I'm just scared of getting hurt. Dang, I say that way too much.