About a week passes and most of the days I'm hanging out with Ruby and Zeuxis. I haven't seen Grim since our fight, and for that, I'm grateful but also terribly sad about. I miss his gorgeous eyes, his fluffy hair, and most of all, his sarcastic responses. I didn't realize how much I would miss him through all of this, but I know if I cave and run to him, it's just going to prove how I feel about him. I cannot have myself telling him I love him like a lovestruck teenager...even though that's exactly what I am.
Zeuxis has taken over the role of my protector, constantly hanging over my shoulder. He even started showing up as Beans again, allowing Ruby and him get along. It's refreshing, to be honest. It feels like my life never once was flipped upside down like a piggy bank. It was finally getting back on track.
I just had to do something about the angels.
Another feather showed up in my room and I instantly threw it out my window. I was sitting on my window alcove when I realized there was only one way to get my life back together.
I had to speak to the angels.
Like a normal human.
I have to reach a compromise with them about Grim and make sure they know I know why they are after me and they have nothing to worry about. It seems that is the only way my life will get back on track, especially since Rowl now is off my case and I do not have to worry about him at my every turn. It seems like a false reality right now, with hope my future can be normal again.
I can forget about Grim, the God of Life, and even Azrael. I can go back to being a normal human.
But do I really want to?
I had gotten so used to the magical auras floating over me whenever I was around Grim or Azrael and I'm not sure how boring life will be without them. But being bored and being safe is completely different, and one of those sounds way more appealing than the other.
It's necessary. It's necessary. It's necessary.
I chew on my lip as I stare blankly ahead of me. It's necessary. I need to do this. I cannot be the sole reason for the end of the world because I wanted to be happy. That's the definition of being a selfish bitch. I cannot let more angels risk their freedom to save the world. I can save it right now.
I just need something.
Suddenly, that something comes to me when my eyes catch the ashes of the feather at the bottom of my trash can.
I'm up and running around my room like a bullet. I grab my jacket, slipping it on and then into my closet where I slip on some old combat boots and throw my hair up into a ponytail. My eyes look like guarded prisons as I look at my reflection. I've gotten good at hiding my emotions. It's what I've had to do every time I see Azrael. He wonders what happened, and understands that something with Grim and I went sour. I saw Azrael the other day when he was with Zeuxis and as soon as he looked at me, I felt like he was trying to figure me out. He almost instantly hissed in my mind about what had happened, but if Grim didn't tell him, I didn't dare to open my mouth.
I had to keep secrets otherwise there was a chance my plan wouldn't work.
As I burst out my back door and onto the old wooden deck, I look back at into my house. I see my sister sitting on the couch watching makeup videos on the couch and my aunt hard at work on food. A smile slides across my face and I make sure to memorize their faces in case I never see them again.
What I'm about to do is insane. I know it is. But nowadays, everything is insane. I'm going with my gut and my gut tells me this is the right move. This can work. Everything can be fine.
I wonder if I should tell Zeuxis about my newfound plan. I no longer need to make Grim hate me because I won't remember him in the next ten minutes, hopefully.
I cross into the rough edges of the woods, the snow now leaking across the ground. I jump over sticks and dodge prickly thorns as I run more and more into it. The deeper I get the safer my family gets.
By the time I reach the middle of the woods, I am gasping for breath. What I am about to do it clinically insane. The cold air of February rushes wildly into my lungs as if spirits racing for life. I look around hurriedly, my eyes scanning the horizons. All I see are fluffy deer staring at me curiously and innocent faces of chipmunks and squirrels. I look around again when my skin prickles and goosebumps rise on my flesh.
And they aren't the good ones someone would get from watching an amazing scene in a movie or hearing a deep song. They are the ones someone would get when they know they are about to face death head first and wish for the best.
I open my mouth and scream into the air, my breath coming out in clouds in front of me. "Jeremiah!" I scream. I scream, again and again, finally cupping my hands as I scream for him. I pray he shows up soon and not Grim or Zeuxis. I know they will try to stop me. Hell, I'm going straight to the enemy in hopes of safety. "Jeremiah!" I shout more, my voice echoing off of the trees. Whispers wrap around me as if the trees are gossiping about my cynical acts. "Jeremiah!" I cry once more, my toes now starting to freeze in the snow. I twist around at every sound, looking at the deer now running through the woods and the chipmunks scrambling up the empty trees. I suck in a breath of frigid air once more before opening my mouth again. "Jere--"
I get cut off as a bare chest suddenly lands in front of me and a harsh wind almost forces me to the ground. I gasp and wrap my frozen fingers around my mouth as I look up. His blue eyes look like glaciers as he stares at me, but that's not what makes my spine tingle in apprehension. It's the huge set of white wings spread out behind him, the barely-there breeze blowing softly through the feathers. His wings reach at least ten feet across, beautifully arched behind him as he stares down at me. "Never been summoned by a human before," Jeremiah's voice makes bile rise in my throat. I haven't heard it in so long. I wished I would never hear it again when Grim told me Jeremiah was likely going to kill me and enjoy it.
"There's a first time for everything," I snap. The deja vu that runs through my veins is chillier than the air outside. I remember saying that to Grim one night. I was so naive back then, calling the God of Death into my room with open arms. I wish I could go back and shove a sandal down my throat.
The trees behind Jeremiah seem small and weak as he stares me down. I can feel every ounce of his icy eyes on me as I look up at him. Fog escapes my mouth as I let out deep breaths, trying to calm myself.
"What do you need? Before I kill you," his eyes drift down to his side. I know that resting beside his thigh is a sword the size of my arm.
"I'm asking for a compromise."
His head tilts threateningly. "I'm listening." He's so close I can feel the heat pulsing off of his body, warming my fingers as I fidget underneath his gaze.
"You know me," I look up at him. "Even though you were only hanging out with me to figure out as much information as you could, you do know me," I state boldly. Jeremiah doesn't deny it. I told him all my secrets and found myself loving his warm grin when directed at me. Now I find my skin shivering underneath the steel blue eyes.
I wish to see the warm brown eyes of Grim, the brown that only shows whenever he is happy. I beg myself not to suddenly cry as I think of his rare smiles, the way his eyebrow would raise as I spoke to him. I think of the way Grim would stare at me when we both were too stubborn to admit we were wrong.
Okay, this needs to end...now.
"You know I want nothing more than the world to go on as it does, and I know the reason you angels are trying to kill me is because of history," I give him a look. He just gives me a nod. "Okay, so why not wipe my mind?" By the way he tilts his head, I know I got his attention.
"So listen, the only way history will repeat itself is if the God of Death and I fall in love, correct?" He nods again. "So why not just wipe him from my mind, along with everything else. And then, let me live free. Theoretically, it would work right?"
Jeremiah doesn't answer for a long time. I feel hope rising in my chest when his blue eyes lock with mine and don't seem so murderous. "Theoretically." A wide smile spreads across my face. "But how do we know you are the only one? After you, if the prophecy doesn't come true with you, there could be another in your place."
The thought of there being another girl fated to fall in love with Grim makes my mind scream and my heart constrict. "The good news is you can kill her before Grim even finds out." I cannot believe those words came out of my mouth, but it's true. If Grim doesn't find out about a girl with the Patch of Death after I am done, there is a possibility the angels can kill her before he gets to her. And...well...I won't feel bad because she would technically be Grims next love. I don't want that, as horrible as it seems.
"Technically, but see, you don't have to kill me. Right?" Jeremiah looks at me before taking a step back.
"Correct," he folds his wins against his back, no longer making me shiver in fear. Jeremiah is silent for a long moment. I find myself actually growing bored from how long he is silent, his gaze stuck on the ground before me. I awkwardly step backward, my toes still practically dead with freezing snow seeping into my shoes. "It talked to some friends. Until we get the God of Life to come to you, I will have an angel protecting you from the God of Death at all time."
"No that's not neces--wait, the God of Life?" I stare at him with wide eyes. Jeremiah nods at me like I am an idiot.
"I don't think the God of Death will wipe himself from your mind and no other creature on this planet holds that power." My throat tightens.
I'm going to meet Grim's brother, Thaddeus. I can barely contain the panic rising my veins when Jeremiah speaks again. "Expect a visit from him in a few days, until then, speak to no one of this."
Within a second, Jeremiah is gone and soaring into the sky. My eyes widen as I tilt my head up to watch him soar right into the sky and into the grey clouds. As soon as he is gone, I collapse onto the snow with a rough cry. I never thought this would happen. I don't know if it's sadness or happiness washing over me. It could be both. I'll finally be a normal girl. But Grim will be wiped from my mind like a bug on a windshield. His life will become false and memories of his heated fingers touching me, his magical lips healing me will become an empty dream.
Without realizing, I am crying. My tears drop into the snow, my knees now getting bitten by the freezing ground, snow piled around me as I cry out all my emotions. I can deal with this for a week until my life gets handed to me on a silver platter. I will be okay.
I breathe out a harsh breath, something the trees echo back to me. I rub my face, sniffling into my jacket sleeve just as I hear a twig snap. My head flicks to the side and I look for some sign something is here.
It was probably a deer.
Still, I call out. "Hello?"
All I get in response is my empty echo, the trees blowing in the breeze above me.
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