I grudgingly tried to get out of bed. I don't feel like attending school at all. I've been having nightmares of that cold night. The night where Darren's life was taken right in front of me.
I quickly supressed my thoughts. Stop thinking about it, stop thinking about it. I'm so weak if I keep going back to the memory that brings me to depression!
As I made my way to the school, there were people crowding over something. I squinted my eyes to see what they were crowding over and saw that it was a board.
Two guys passed by me and I could hear bits of their conversation.
"I can't believe I passed Chemistry."
"I can't believe Nolan got the top score in that terrifying subject. Scary bastard," the other replied.
I furrowed my eyebrows in response. Chemistry? Top score? Boards?
They've posted our exam scores in public?! For everyone to see? I ran to the crowds of people and tried to make my way to the front. I lightly pushed the people in front of me and tried to find my name.
I could then see that they've only posted the scores of grades nine to twelve.
I then dived my way to the section where the list of twelfth graders were. Under the title of 12 were lists. Each list had a subject's name on it and the students' name and score.
I silently prayed before I attacked the board. I quickly went over to the list that had the title 'Biology.' I scanned the list and found I had a score higher than what I had expected. The same happened for the rest of the subjects. Almost everything was higher than expected.
I wasn't in the top nor was I in the bottom. But I was extremely grateful I had passed everything. Well, I barely passed in Chemistry though. I was about fifth to the last.
I definitely need to try harder.
Content of my scores, I sighed in relief. Well, first term's now over. I just have to really do my best for second term.
"Hey, hey, did you see Noah's score?" a girl with blonde hair asked.
Just the sound of Noah's name, I suddenly found myself pulled into listening to their conversation.
"Yeah. Pretty sad. I mean, compared to his brother.."
"Right?!" the former chirped. "Despite the fact that they're brothers and identical twins, they're completely different when it comes to academics!"
The latter shook her head. "Nolan's pretty scary. He got top place for both Biology and Chemistry."
"Noah's the opposite, huh? He's not exactly the last but he's close to the bottom."
"Ah, but Noah got a good mark on Physics though. He didn't get top place but he was able to beat Nolan."
"That's true. But still, somehow you can see who's the smarter twin, right?"
The latter nodded her head in agreement. "Such a waste. It would be a lot cooler if the two were smart, huh?"
Aren't they a bit.. too much? I pursed my lips at the two and tried to mind my own business. I don't want to hear anymore. Blue hair suddenly came into my field of vision. His head bowed low, his eyes looking hollow and dark.
"N-Noah?"
Don't tell me he heard that conversation from earlier..
"Oh, hey Erin," he greeted, forcing a smile.
"Uhh, you okay?" I said, furrowing my eyebrows. I mentally slapped myself. Of course he isn't okay, Erin! What kind of question is that?
Noah struggled to continue his smile. "Haha, what makes you ask that?"
I grabbed Noah's hand and pulled him towards a nearby bench, where nobody could hear us. Surprisingly, his hand was as cold as ice. Luckily, he didn't protest to me pulling him.
"You're so obvious, Noah," I half-smiled. "You're always chirpy and annoying. Your mood today is the complete opposite."
Noah had given up smiling. The corners of his lips had automatically formed a deep frown.
"Gee, thanks for pointing that out," he said with a tint of sarcasm.
"Ah, so this is your sour side," I commented. But before he could remark back, I beat him to it. "Anyway, that's not what I wanted to talk about. I just want you to know that you shouldn't take those words to heart.. Those words from the girls earlier."
Noah raised his eyebrows at me and slightly leaned back, surprised of what I had just said.
"So you heard that, huh."
I pursed my lips at Noah. "Don't take it to heart, Noah."
Noah looked elsewhere and shifted his attention somewhere else, avoiding eye contact with me. "Anyway, it's fine. I'm used to it, Erin."
I tugged the tip of his long sleeve to grab his attention. "Noah, you don't look fine."
He turned his head to look at me again. His frown was even deeper and his eyes looked at me with fierce.
"Noah, I think it's inevitable for people to compare twins. Obviously it isn't right for people to do so in some aspects. But think of it this way: Both you and Nolan are completely different in your own way.
"Don't think that there's a twin better than the other. It's ridiculous. I mean, think about it. Nolan may be great in Biology and Chemistry but you're great in Physics. He's good at something and you're good at something else! It doesn't mean he's the better twin. It just shows that you're both completely skilled at different things.
"No matter how many times you hear people comparing you to your twin brother, you shouldn't care. We can't control the thoughts or behavior of others. But what we can control is how we react to them.
"Nolan is Nolan and you're you. The only person you compare yourself to is the person you were yesterday."
Noah had a look of disbelief. I felt my face go completely warm from his 'weirded out' look. Okay, maybe I did say something completely embarrassing. Why is it that whenever people in TV or in movies say such lines, they make it look so cool and natural? But when it's done in real life, it's completely embarrassing.
I reeled my hand that was holding Noah's and raised it to bid Noah goodbye since I could no longer stand the awkward silence that was between us. "Welp, that's all I wanted to say. I'll be going now," I said, looking at my feet. My face must be like a tomato right now.
I turned my back to him and just hoped to God that what I had just said didn't go in vain. Ah, I should have told him about my Chemistry mark too.
But before I could take another step, I felt arms wrap around my body. Immediately, I could feel warmth being transmitted to my body.
"Thanks, Erin," Noah whispered into my ear. I shivered a bit at how ticklish his breath was.
He released me before I could reply back. I turned to face him but I could now only see his back leaving.
Ah, whatever. I need to get to class. Sana probably got the top score, huh? I cursed myself under my breath, annoyed that I didn't even check my own friend's score.
Ugh, it's going to be tough facing Lucas though. After all those lectures and help he gave me for Chemistry..
He'd probably give me a horrified expression..
Suddenly, Darren's face had flashed into my mind. The memory of the cold night where Darren was holding his abdomen helplessly.
"..Told you I'd kill your boyfriend. Didn't expect me to be so fast, did you?"
I scrunched my hair with my fists and tried to think of good things. Baked pie, scrumptious chocolate chip cookies, sweet cronuts-
"..Didn't expect me to be so fast, did you?"
Tears had sprung to my eyes and I found it difficult to breathe. Stop thinking about it, Erin. Are you stupid?
I tried to walk somewhere where no one could see me. Forget class today, I don't want people seeing me like this. They might think I'd be crying over such a small thing like grades. I wouldn't cry for my grades.
Due to the tears that didn't want to leave me, my vision was completely blurred. This made it difficult walking to where I wanted. I could make out a tree and quickly made my way there. As I went behind the trunk to sit, I bumped into a rigid body.
"The heck-?"
I turned my head, completely avoiding eye contact with the person I had just bumped into. "S-Sorry," I apologized, trying to walk somewhere else.
"Wait, Erin?"
My eyes widened in response as I recognized that familiar voice. I still kept my head away from him and tried to run. "Nope, sorry. Wrong person," I replied, deepening my voice.
I felt him grab the sleeve of my jacket.
"Who are you fooling? Deepening you voice, you really think I'd be fooled to think you're a guy? When you're wearing the school's skirt?"
He pulled me towards him and grabbed my other arm once it was in his reach.
I bent my head low, making sure he didn't see my eyes. Ah, great. Now my tears are surely bound to fall. From my experience of crying, you can definitely let all the tears get sucked back in by looking up and blinking rapidly.
"Erin," he whispered. "What's wrong?"
Tears finally escaped my eyes and fell to the ground. I could then feel my body doing the annoying hiccup-like thing. I bit the bottom of my lip to shut myself up.
"Is this about..him?" he asked with a serious but gentle tone.
My mind processed what Lucas had just said. Lucas.. knows? No wait, the whole school probably knows. I mean, why would such an incident go unnoticed?
"Does..does the whole school know about it?"
There was a pause before he could answer. "Not a lot people know. Just some. The people who were nearby probably saw what had happened. So sooner or later, the story is bound to spread."
"..how did you find out?"
"My mother, of course. Darren's family is close to my family, remember?"
I felt my face scrunch up. How could I forget Darren's family? They must be completely devastated. Suddenly, the image of Darren's mother popped in. Her body curled up, shaking. Tears endlessly falling from her face-
"Erin," Lucas called. "I think it's better for you to go back to your dorm-"
"It's all my fault, Lucas! I know who killed Darren! I saw him take his life with my very own eyes!"
This time, I was now facing Lucas completely, tears streaming down my face.
"I feel horrible, Lucas. Just the thought that I was familiar with the murderer, it feels so unreal. And now the aftermath of the murder is scaring me. I feel like I can never show my face at Amethyst!"
"Erin-"
"I can't help but think it's all my fault! I'm so useless, I couldn't do anything when he was at the brink of death-"
Before I could finish my thoughts, Lucas had pulled my cheeks, making it difficult to speak. "Whaa.."
"Erin, could you shut up for a minute and listen?"
I nodded my head, feeling my cheeks sting from his pinch. He reeled his hands and looked at me with a stern expression.
Drowning yourself in self-loathing isn't going to help," he rebuked. "Anyway, it isn't your fault, right? It's that murderer. So all we have to do is find him. That's all there is to it."
I could still feel tears spring into my eyes. "You don't get it. Darren's death.. I can't help but feel like I'm responsible for it all. I know who killed him. It's as if he died in vain, Lucas!"
Lucas looked at me as if I had two heads. His eyebrows furrowed together in a manner that made him look like he was thinking I was spouting nonsense.
"Erin, I hope you know you're not going to get anywhere by wallowing in regret like that."
"But-"
"Stop," Lucas said in an aggravated tone. "We're going to find him, okay? It isn't your fault. Stop burdening yourself with such a load that isn't even yours. Even if he did die in vain, we can't do anything about it now, can we? All we can do is move on."
Tears still sprung into my eyes and couldn't help but roll down my cheeks. I didn't exactly feel as awful as I did but after hearing Lucas' words, I couldn't help but feel like crying. Crying over the fact that someone was comforting me.
"Geez, Erin," he muttered as he grabbed my hand and pulled my body closer to his. I found myself in front of his chest, being engulfed by a scent. It wasn't the smell of cologne or anything but it smelled more like laundry detergent. It was a light, sweet scent.
Erin, you perv! Don't sniff the boy!
I could suddenly feel Lucas' other arm embracing my shoulders which pushed me more towards his chest. He leaned his head forward. I felt goosebumps as I felt his breath tickle my right ear. "If you ever feel like crying again, I'm here, all right? Don't show this vulnerable side of yours..to anyone else."
My vision blurred as I nuzzled a bit into Lucas' chest. I couldn't help but feel calm in Lucas' warmth. He's right. We just have to find Seth. Then, what? Condemn him? The punishment for murdering a prince.. I don't think they would treat such a case so lightly.
"Ugh, get a room, you two~"
I flinched at the statement and had almost forgot the position I was in with Lucas. I slightly pushed him away from me and faced elsewhere, away from his chest.
"Thanks, Lucas. I think I'm fine now. I'll just be going to my dorm."
I felt his hand grab mine and pulled me towards him. "And let you wallow in regret by yourself? No way am I going to let that happen, Erin."
I felt my face flush at his words. "What-?"
"Let's go somewhere fun," he grinned.
Author's Note: Hi guys :D I just reeeeeeeeally want to thank those who have been reading Hidden Gem until now ;__; you guys are awesome. Seriously. Most of your comments have really brought a smile to my face :"D haha.
And to those who have waited so patiently until now, THANK YOU ;__; And I'm sorry. >< Haha, It's really been so long. If I was a reader, I'd probably hate me by now haha. But anyway, I plan to end Hidden Gem before summer ends. I really have to end it. It's been..how many years now? And it's been running so long due to my terribly long updates.
Hopefully I'll update weekly or maybe even every three days ;D hahaha. I just really have to work and finish the plot ;__;
Thanks again for reading.