Dear Stanley
No, uh,
Dear Stan
Dear Friend,
That sounds better. You never would think that writing up something for a therapist would be so difficult. My therapist, Ruth Ann, gave me a journal-diary-book, whatever you wanna call it, and has encouraged me to write inside. She says it will help me out with my feelings and finding out what has caused this depression inside. I don't think that me writing is going to solve the root of the problem. Whatever. I'm not really wanting to write down everything I do or say or think because no one is actually interested in that type of thing.
I sat with Ruth Ann for a while today and we talked about my best friend, Kyle Broflovksi. She wants him to visit me while I'm staying at this psychiatric hospital. I was placed in here after almost committing suicide after Wendy and I broke up for the tenth time. I tried to explain to my mom and the police I wasn't doing it because I was upset about Wendy. It was bigger than Wendy. Bigger than a relationship or family.
Have you ever just sat inside a car and wanted to throw whatever object in your hand out the window? Maybe held a pair of scissors and wanted to snip off your hair or a finger? Well, that's how I felt when I stood on the edge of the roof. I had been up there in the beginning to gaze at the stars, but something inside of me told me to jump. That if I jumped, things would be better. I would be at peace. My mom had just pulled up and saw me. She freaked out and then the police came and it was a disaster.
I wasn't in trouble. Just forced to go to the hospital under suicide watch and examined for my mental state. I'm suffering depression and anxiety, but that doesn't define me. It just makes me look pitiful under the eyes of others who aren't suffering like me. I hate it. I just want to hide in this room until the 90 days are up so I can go home with Sparky and eat junk food with Kyle while we play video games.
I gotta go for now. I have to go to the cafeteria before it closes. I'll write later, I guess.
With love,
Stanley Marsh
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Notes:
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