Driving down the icy street, Rachel could not stop thinking of the man with the amber eyes and charming smile. It was strange how he'd been there just as she was about to take the fall; as if he was there to break it and keep her from sure pain. Rachel smiled at his earlier comment about her being a beautiful woman. She wasn't used to men saying those kinds of things to her anymore. Ever since she had started to date Brody, she had never paid attention to, or cared about other men. He'd been the only one she cared about and all others were forgotten. Brody had been her everything. But now he was gone, never to return. That thought saddened her and she felt the tears on her cheeks. Not only would she never see him again, she would never have the opportunity to ask him all the questions she had. She had loved him deeply and the truth had frozen her heart.
Nearing her parking spot, Rachel parked the car and sat there silently thinking of all she had lost. But instead of Brody crossing her mind, she saw Finn. What was her problem? She'd barely met him, but he already was occupying her thoughts. It scared her to think about him and how she just could not forget the husky and sexy voice. God Rachel. What is going on? You barely meet the guy and already you think he's sexy. Brushing all thought of Finn from her brain, Rachel gathered her bag and keys. Getting out of the car, she absentmindedly reached up to touch her locket. Even after everything, she still wore it. She couldn't force herself to take it off. Taking it off would signify that her and Brody were really over. That he was truly gone. She wasn't ready for that. Collecting her thoughts, Rachel briskly walked towards the building and prepared to go to work.
Santana had slept in again today. She was on her two week holiday vacation and enjoying every moment of it. After all she was entitled to relax. Life had been hectic the past months and she had needed a break. Getting up, she put on her robe and made her way to the kitchen. Yawning loudly, she took out a large mug and filled it with milk, which she had forgotten to put away last night. Walking into the living room she took a look out the window, and saw the snow coming down hard.
'Geez, when will it ever stop?' she asked out loud, unaware that sitting on her couch was Puck, who was watching her with a look of pure amusement. She looked so untamed, with her long dark hair all mussed from her pillow. She was a crazy sleeper. He'd watched her all night and she just could not keep still. He'd almost been tempted to go over and turn on the radio just to see what her reaction was, knowing that no one but her was in the house. Santana had always been different from everyone else. Her quirkiness attracted him to her and he loved that she was so spunky and loud. So different from Rachel, Santana was much more vocal and spontaneous. He knew she loved to date freely and her liberal ways made him flinch sometimes. Never a dull moment with her, all the men she'd dated knew that Santana was a social butterfly.
As she took a seat next to him, Puck breathed in her scent. She smelled of exotic flowers. What in the world did she use for a perfume? He was looking at her and laughed when she accidentally got milk all over her robe.
'I'm such a klutz,' she said to herself. All of a sudden she heard a crash in her kitchen and immediately ran over to see what had happened. The pots and pans she kept on the rack had all come tumbling down, making a nice mess of her kitchen.
'Argh!' Bending down she started to pick them up when she felt the cold air on her back. Turning around Santana saw that her front door was wide open and snow was being brought in by the bitter wind. 'What the hell is happening?' she yelled. Puck was all smiles to see her so flustered and mad. She really did look cute when she was angry. Laughing, he started to go and his wings left behind a celestial sparkle all over Santana's couch and carpet.
Unlocking the door to her office, Rachel walked in and took it all in. Everything was as she had left it. Setting her things on the cherry oak desk, Rachel felt a sense of familiarity and safety come over her. She had always felt like that in here. Being surrounded by her things and her writing, always made her feel safe. Rachel sat down in her big leather chair and closed her eyes. She had to clear her mind of everything else if she wanted to work like she always had. Sighing loudly, she started to look through her bag when she heard a knock at her door.
'Come in,' she said hesitating. What if she wasn't ready to face her coworkers, or her boss for that matter.
A tall blonde woman, dressed in designer clothes, came in and closed the door behind her. She was the picture of pure elegance. Her golden hair was up in a french twist, and she was perfectly manicured from the red polish on her nails, to the black Manolo's on her feet.
'Hello Rachel,' she said. Looking at the petite woman in front of her, Cecilia noticed that she looked thinner than she remembered her. Her brown eyes looked empty, but yet there was something there that she just could not put her finger on. As if the sparkle wanted to return, but hadn't yet found it's way back to life. She knew that Rachel had been through hell the past months with the loss of her fiancée and Cecilia had been genuinely worried about Rachel.
'Hi,' Rachel replied with a tone of uncertainty in her voice. She knew what Cecilia had come for; to ask how her assignment was going. Rachel wasn't ready to answer because she hadn't even started it. The truth was that she hadn't found the strength and will power to even begin it. When Cecilia had called her and asked her how she had been doing, Rachel knew that her boss wanted her to return to work. After all, she had given her plenty of off-time. After the funeral Cecilia had approached her and told her to take time off. That she knew Rachel needed time to recuperate and not worry about work. But that had been three months ago and Rachel needed to return.
'How are you?' Cecilia asked with mild concern. Rachel looked rather pale and she feared she still wasn't strong enough to resume her job duties.
'I'm alright. As much as I can be.' Cecilia took a seat on one of the plush armchairs and looked intently at Rachel.
'Rachel I know that these past three months have been rough for you. I don't intend to try to understand what you've been through, but you really need to get back to your life. You have a job, friends that love you, and a family who is concerned. Don't you think you could try to regain a sense of normality?'
'Normality?' Rachel said on a sharp breath. 'My fiancée was killed in a car crash, one in which I was also involved, and you talk to me about normality? Cecilia, this isn't easy for me. You of all people should know that.'
'Rachel please, we are not talking about me. It's you that right now needs to come to terms with what's happening.' She looked at Rachel and felt a sadness for the girl. Rachel had always been cheerful and bright, but all that had changed with Brody's death. Cecilia had always liked Rachel. From the moment she had met her back when Rachel had been in college and working as an intern for her. She had seen something special in her and knew that Rachel was different from all the other writers that she had encountered in her long journalism career. But now all the spark was gone from the pretty face and Cecilia deeply regretted that. In a softer tone, she spoke to her again. 'Rachel, I know it hurts and the pain is almost unbearable but you cannot put your life on hold. Life goes on. You have to realise that Brody would not have wanted to see you like this. He would want to see you move on with your life and live.'
Rachel could not help the tears that were welling up in her eyes. If they all knew the truth. But they didn't, and she didn't intend to tell anyone either. This was her burden. Trying to hold the tears back, Rachel got up and walked to the window that gave her the most amazing view of the New York skyline. She'd loved it, but as she looked upon the city that she called home, Rachel knew that her life had taken an abrupt change. She couldn't continue like she always had. Coming up behind her, Cecilia placed a hand on her shoulder.
'I know it hurts dear, but you have to continue your life. For you and for those of us that care for you. We don't want to see you like this. We want that cheerful girl to grace us again.' Rachel turned around and looked at Cecilia Brockmeyer, her boss. She had always known that this woman regarded her like the daughter she'd never had.
'That girl may never come,' she said softly and with a hint of sadness in her voice. 'I've changed and there are some things I just can't forget.' At that last comment Cecilia wondered what Rachel meant by it. That she could never forget about Brody? But when she had said it, bitterness had laced her voice.
'Oh Rachel,' Cecilia sighed. 'I just want you to get better and be yourself again.'
'I know, and I thank you for the concern. Rachel looked up at the sky outside her window and sighed. 'Cecilia, I haven't forgotten about the assignment you gave me. I promise to have it ready for when you want it.'
'Rachel, I'm trusting you. You know that.' Cecilia said while looking at Rachel intently. 'I know you'll do as wonderful as you've always done. I wouldn't expect anything less. Now I have to go and run some errands. Please try and cheer up.' Giving her a smile, Cecilia squeezed Rachel's shoulder and headed towards the door. 'Remember Rachel,' she said as she opened the door,' Christmas is near and miracles happen. Don't close your heart.' With that Cecilia disappeared down the hallway, with Rachel looking after her and unshed tears sparkling in her eyes.