Neverland

Prologue

Rachel sat quietly at the window watching the snow falling to the ground. It was Christmas time, a time of year that Rachel usually loved. She normally couldn’t wait until the stores decorated their shop fronts, when her neighbours joined her in decorating their houses in lights, the children running around making snowmen. But this year it was different, she hadn’t been out through the day to look at the shop fronts, her lights remained packed away in the attic and most of the time her blinds remained closed blocking out the children running around in her street. But mostly it was different because it had been 3 months, 92 days and countless hours since she had found out the truth and her world had come tumbling down around her. 

Rachel Berry has always prided herself in being a good friend, a loyal friend who always put others in her life first. Her closest friends had been her friends since birth and she had always been able to turn to them in times of need. They had been through a lot together. Her, Santana and Jesse but they were still best friends and she knew they always would be but for the first time in her life she felt truly alone, she couldn’t turn to them. Yes they were there just like they always had been but this time it was her who couldn’t open up to them. It was her who had closed herself off from the outside world hoping that by doing so she could forget. Forget about the last three months, forget about the hurt and lies that had emerged, but mostly forget about the fact that regardless of everything she learned the man she loved was still dead. 

Rachel sighed when she heard the clock chime five o’clock because it meant that she had been sitting in the same spot by the window with the now very cold cup of coffee for close to two hours. It wasn’t unusual for her to spend time doing nothing these days; her life lacked everything else. Her parents had left a month ago back to Lima because they needed to return to their Business and her friends now just left messages asking or rather begging her to call them back. 

A key turning in the front door got her attention then and she watched slightly frightened as it opened and someone took time shaking themselves off before entering. Rachel realised that there were a few people that still had keys to her place but she had no idea who to expect right now. 

‘Rachel ’ she heard the voice of her best friend before she saw her and she could help the small smile that started to form at the corner of her mouth. 

‘Hey’ Santana smiled as she stepped into the house and spotted Rachel in her favourite chair by the window. It had started snowing that morning, Santana personally hated it but she knew how much Rachel loved it which is why she was here today of all days. Normally she would hide inside and only leave her apartment when she had to but something inside her told her to venture out towards her best friends house in hope that something about the snow would remind Rachel that it was Christmas and that it was time for being happy and thankful for the things that you did have in life. 

Santana was very happy for a lot of things this year and the most important thing was Rachel. Her mind couldn’t help but wander back to that day three months ago when she had been so close to loosing her best friend forever, but the frightening part for her and Jesse was that they might not have physically lost her but they certainly had emotionally. 

‘Hi’ she greeted a small smile on her beautiful face but it didn’t reach her eyes, it never did any more. Rachel Berry was a beautiful woman, long brown flowing hair and big brown eyes that anyone could get lost in if they let themselves. They were the windows to her soul Santana had always thought, there had never been a time that Santana hadn’t been able to tell something about her best friend from the look in her eyes. She remembered seeing it when she lied to her over something or when she kept something from but now they were lifeless just brown pools with no sparkle. Boy did she miss those eyes. Rachel and Santana were 26 years old, young by most people’s calculations but as she looked at her best friend sitting in the chair lifeless Santana felt about 36. Life had been hard for as Rachel the past three months. 

‘So Quinn, Jesse and I thought it would be nice to go ice skating down at the park and since it’s a tradition you cant say no’ Santana told her as way of explanation for her uninvited presence. 

‘Um thanks but I think I’ll pass’ Rachel replied turning her eyes back to the window. 

‘Come on Rachel you can’t stay in here forever you need to start living again’ Santana whispered. 

‘Why?’ Rachel asked her then. 

‘Why?’ Santana repeated. 

‘How about because you haven’t done anything with your two best friends for three months and that we miss you’ she pleaded. 

Rachel instantly felt guilty she knew that Santana was right but she forced the guilt down because right now the huge gap in her heart felt worse. 

‘I’m sorry I just can't’ she replied tears filling her eyes. 

‘Rachel’ Santana sighed before taking a seat in the lounge across from her, at least she was talking to her this time. 

‘I can't pretend to know what you’ve been going through because I don’t, but I don’t think Brody would have wanted you to stop living,’ she told her. 

Brody Weston has been Rachel's boyfriend and then more recently fiancée for the past 3 years. They had met when Rachel had moved to New York to go to college with Santana and Jesse. Santana had at first been surprised when Rachel started dating Brody who was a frat boy and the total opposite of every other guy Rachel had ever dated or crushed on before hand but Brody made Rachel happy and that was all that mattered to her. 

But all of that changed one night three months ago. Rachel and Brody had been attending one of Brody's work functions for the night and on the way home in the early hours of the morning Brody had lost control of his black sports car and hit a power pole on the side of the road only a block from their house. The doctors had said he died on impact and Rachel had suffered a broken arm and a few broken ribs, she remembered the night like it was yesterday, Rachel's frantic cries when she rang her from the hospital telling her to come. How scared they had been not knowing what had happened but none of that was worse than watching their friend slowly fading away in front of their eyes. 

Santana watched as Rachel remained quiet. ‘That’s it I’m not taking no for an answer’ she said as she jumped up and moved towards Rachel. Without a second thought she started pulling her out of the chair and towards the door. She quickly assessed what Rachel was wearing and decided that the pair of jeans and thick woollen jumper would be fine if they added a jacket, scarf and beanie at the door. 

‘Santana’ Rachel whined. She didn’t want to do this there was no idea who she could run into and she wasn’t prepared to go outside and face the world yet but Santana wouldn’t take no for an answer and before Rachel could find the energy to argue with her best friend further she had already been dragged out the door and into the red jetta that was parked in the driveway. 

Meanwhile up above where the clouds were still white and puffy and the tunes of Christmas carols rang loudly two angels watched sadly as their charges drove off. 

‘She isn’t getting any better Hudson’ Puck the taller angel commented. 

‘I know, I thought Christmas would help but I think it’s just made it worse’ he sighed sadly. 

‘What are you going to do now?’ Puck asked him. 

‘The only thing I can’ Finn replied. 

Should I continue yes or no?