|| THIRD PERSON ||
jungkook was nervous, more nervous than he's ever been in his entire life. only one thing was on his mind throughout the night: jimin.
what terrified him the most was that he had no idea what's been going on the past three days with him.
for all he knew, taehyung could've been feeding his overly protective and bias opinions to the blonde, tricking him into believing jungkook really didn't have any legitimate feelings for him.
which he did.
for all he knew, jimin could've been under the impression that yet another straight boy was destroying him again, only using him and wanting him for his body.
which he wasn't.
for all he knew, jungkook failed to properly express himself to the latter, making it appear as if he really didn't find every single version of him to be appealing and instead confused his sense of discomfort as something to deal with him and his transition.
which it wasn't.. god.. that just wasn't it at all.
there's nothing more jungkook needed right now than to explain the whole mess of miscommunication; the last thing he wanted was jimin believing he's given up on himself.
or even worse, that jungkook's given up on him for something as life changing as his body's traumatic experience.
he would never.. he respected jimin, no matter what.
besides, after some genuine consideration, jungkook really didn't find it all that weird or strange. the blonde was just a very beautiful person in general, before and after his surgery.
he would never leave him for being what he was, a boy.
he knew that going into this, he'd be an ass if that were true.
"jimin?" the younger called out, nerves carving deep from within the shaky veins, hearing a few rounds of soft sobs from behind the door. "please listen to me.."
nothing. absolutely nothing. just a louder, more ear wrenching shriek of coughs and tears at the calming honey voice.
deep down, jimin wanted jungkook to finally come over and speak to him again, to hold him again, comfort him again. just anything, really.
hearing his voice hurt more than he ever could've imagined; he didn't know if he was ready to face him again so soon.
he just revealed his darkest secret, taking a bold leap of faith by exposing the younger to his story and formally introducing his truest form all at once; only to receive the reaction he feared the most.
jimin was convinced jungkook was only comfortable with him because he possessed a body he was so used to handling. it only made sense that once he saw his true prior self it would scare him off.
as we've seen from the raven boy himself, that wasn't the case. he never lied about being fully committed to trying with jimin, he's all in. but equally, we couldn't blame the blonde for having these thoughts.
after all, he was to blame. he doesn't react well. he strives to work on that if it means jimin doesn't have to doubt either of them anymore.
in his defense, at least they were common from people undergoing sexuality experiments. so yes, jungkook would surely find himself stuck a few times here and there since this wasn't anything he's ever done before.
however, that didn't mean he wasn't seriously sorry for the confusion and starting to figure himself out because of it. he knew he wanted jimin, no matter what his past was and no matter what his future'll be.
thought he also understood this meant accounting for the blonde's so called previous self.
or really, just him in general since they're still the same person, only in a different body.
"I can't handle hearing your voice right now, jungkook. just please.. stop knocking." the blonde called back out, curling into the side of the couch as his tears clouded his source of vision.
well.. fine.
jungkook originally planned to do this verbally.
but desperate times called for desperate measures.
=================
IMESSAGE
Chickie 🐣💛
JUNGKOOK
I don't have to speak then, but cmon Jimin, just hear me out
JUNGKOOK
I know what you're thinking.. trust me, I do.. its not like that at all
JUNGKOOK
im not just another straight boy here for your body, im not here to be your next Hyunseok..
JUNGKOOK
I respect you and you're more than a pretty body to me
JUNGKOOK
you're becoming everything at this point..
JUNGKOOK
I know I keep confusing you with all my running.. I don't blame you for my mistakes.. I know you've never known how I truly felt this whole time, hell.. even I didn't
JUNGKOOK
but im here to stay this time, im not going anywhere. I know all the answer myself now
JUNGKOOK
do you remember when I told you I wanted to start talking?
JUNGKOOK
that was all bc I found myself so suddenly attached to the tiny boy who giggled a lot and made my heart race with his crescent eye smiles
JUNGKOOK
your body had very little to nothing to do with my initial attraction to you, it really didn't. im not gonna deny being attracted to you because whats the point?
JUNGKOOK
I am, but its not because you're effeminate now, its because you're just you in general
JUNGKOOK
you have an alluring personality, Jimin.. there's no way I could avoid falling deep for that shit
JUNGKOOK
I love when you wear your little outfits bc you're always so confident in them.. it drives me insane when you're feelin yourself bc that's just the sexiest thing to me
JUNGKOOK
thats why I liked your outfit the other day, not because you looked like a girl or whatever
JUNGKOOK
you sat on top of me with so much assertion and certainty.. THATS what really got to me
JUNGKOOK
you've never looked more beautiful.. what you had on played no role to it, I wanted to touch you back because your pride in yourself drew me right to you
JUNGKOOK
the first time I was just too overwhelmed.. im not used to being sober remember? when you crawled on me in MY OWN clothes.. god, it was just too much for me to handle yet
JUNGKOOK
I worked on how to calm myself down if you ever wanted to try something like that again, I felt bad for basically rejecting you when I definitely thought it was hot and WANTED to be able to touch you back
JUNGKOOK
I want you to love yourself like the second time instead, it's the most attractive thing
JUNGKOOK
hell.. I even wanna see you in MY clothes more often, that was hottest by FAR like I said 🤤
JUNGKOOK
to ease into your transition though.. I already figured something like that happened
JUNGKOOK
when I watched your live that one time, I couldn't help but notice all those little details about you, your faded muscle lines, the way your body just didn't seem fully natural
JUNGKOOK
it didn't drive me away then, why would it now?
JUNGKOOK
especially after all this time and realizing that holy shit.. I really do like a boy for the first time in my life..
JUNGKOOK
when you sent me that one underwear pic, I was so comfortable with that.. SO unbelievably comfortable with that
JUNGKOOK
I like the male parts of you too.. I really do
JUNGKOOK
im ready to accept and admit that now..
JUNGKOOK
after you told me your story, I knew it was probably a lot to have to go about reliving and retelling, that's why I gave us a few days
JUNGKOOK
I realize now that it was a mistake.. I should've gone about it better and im sorry for that
JUNGKOOK
but im committed to trying with you.. understand this, Jimin
JUNGKOOK
I knew something about you was different to me, you've been able to do things to me no one else ever has
JUNGKOOK
I genuinely like you.. and I want to do this the right way, if im chasing after you like I am, then im chasing after YOU. ALL of you and the REAL you
JUNGKOOK
im not giving up on you and im not giving up on me. I never will at this point
JUNGKOOK
all of this just means your battles are gonna have to be mine now if im gonna devote myself to you like this
JUNGKOOK
it was new.. different even.. but I was in NO way disgusted or uncomfortable with your body before it's transition
JUNGKOOK
you're the most stunning person ive ever laid eyes on and that goes for any version of you
JUNGKOOK
if anything, im really glad you told me. it shows you trust me with your past
JUNGKOOK
now I have the chance to really know and be with Park Jimin
JUNGKOOK
thats what I asked you, wasn't it? I didn't like the fake Jimin you tried to be.. I said I wanted you to show me all of you..
JUNGKOOK
that includes everything you "used" to be and everything you are
JUNGKOOK
I want to and need to see ALL of you so I can properly be yours one day, okay?
JUNGKOOK
let me show you something real quick
JUNGKOOK
this?
JUNGKOOK
JUNGKOOK
one of the most beautiful things ive ever seen and it's just your eyes
JUNGKOOK
JUNGKOOK
and these? you never told me you looked so good without makeup and in orange hair
JUNGKOOK
JUNGKOOK
this one? one of many personal favs. look at your track trophy? you're so cute with your plump lips and tiny hands
JUNGKOOK
JUNGKOOK
and this? oh my god this.. look how delicate you are.. your features are so soft, your skin, your eyes, your little nose and crooked tooth.. 😍
JUNGKOOK
JUNGKOOK
I didn't even realize someone could look so good in a leather jacket that wasn't mine. you should totally wear one more often.. you look ever better than me
JUNGKOOK
JUNGKOOK
and this? beautiful 😍
JUNGKOOK
JUNGKOOK
beautiful 😍
JUNGKOOK
JUNGKOOK
beautiful 😍
JUNGKOOK
JUNGKOOK
beautiful 😍
JUNGKOOK
JUNGKOOK
beautiful 😍
JUNGKOOK
JUNGKOOK
really beautiful 😍
JUNGKOOK
JUNGKOOK
even more beautiful 😍
JUNGKOOK
JUNGKOOK
just as beautiful 😍
JUNGKOOK
JUNGKOOK
and finally, this one. oh my god this one.. look how good you look?? all fit n shit. you almost look just like me 🤤
JIMIN
Jungkook...
JIMIN
did you search through my twitter to find old photos of me? 🥺
JUNGKOOK
course I did.. where else was I gonna find the most beautiful pictures of YOU?
================
|| THIRD PERSON ||
just then, jimin slowly opened the door, his own glossy eyes looking as if they've dried up a bit, revealing himself to be in a lousy pair of sweats and loose white tee.
before he could say anything, the blonde was taking a step towards the latter, nuzzling his entirety into his opened arms with a breathy sigh.
jungkook really was in it for the long run after all. he was genuine in this and was fully dedicated to devoting himself to jimin, all of jimin.
"you've gotta trust me, lil one." the youngest softly whispered, engulfing the other in a warm embrace before pressing his lips to his temple. "ive messed up a few times, but im in this for you. all of you, don't hold yourself back from being who you are and showing me who you are."
when he said he liked the latter, that was certainly no joke.
"I don't care how you dress, or how you look.." he trailed, stepping back to hold his face with his hands, eyeing him up and down before smirking. "to be honest, im most familiar with this, anyways.. you're dressed exactly like me."
at that, jimin giggled like the angel he always was, leaning into the warmth of the other's palm.
"I think it's time that I tell you something."
"hmm?"
jungkook soon took a deep breath, looking jimin in the eyes before saying his new found truth. after all this time of being close with a boy and slowly, gradually falling for a boy..
jungkook knew something new about himself.
"you've helped me realize im bisexual."