I am tired of this place, I hope people change
I need time to replace what I gave away
And my hopes, they are high, I must keep them small
Though I try to resist I still want it all
*
(I use pet names wayyyy too much. I'm just obsessed with them lmao. Sorry in advance)
I groan as I drag myself out of bed a few weeks later. My body's aching with the aftermath of the beating I took the night before.
Jason's out for the day, probably for most of the night as well for his job. Meaning, I finally get to relax for the day. It's a Saturday, but I don't even have any homework to do.
So I do the only logical thing and call Wade to come over. We don't hang out a lot as just Wade and Peter, normally just Spider-Man and Deadpool so it'll be fun to hang out as the two civilians for once.
"Hey, baby boy. What's up?" Wade's voice comes through, laughing and cute.
"Just bored. Wanna come over to mine? Jason's out all day and I'm lonely and want to watch stupid movies with someone," I say hopefully, mood instantly lifting.
"I just woke up so give me a bit to shower, but I'll be over in a few, Yeah?"
"Okay. Thank you," I murmur, smiling absentmindedly.
"My pleasure, petey-pie. I'll be over in like half an hour, Kay?"
I hum in response, hanging up and letting the phone fall back to my bed, just as I get a text.
Gwen: hey don't forget you promised to hang out tomorrow for a study date
Peter: Not a date but yeah I'll be there
Gwen: you better or I'll fite you
Peter: id like to see you try
When Wade finally arrives, I'm too far in my need for physical contact. And he seems to know that when he finds me, curled up on the couch with an old Hallmark movie playing on the small television.
"Cute," he says, looking over my old sweatpants and one of his hoodies I stole a long time ago.
"Shut up," I reply, no bite to my words. "C'mere."
"Needy," he mutters, but complies nonetheless, flopping down on the couch, head on the opposite end to mine.
I pout, eyebrows furrowing.
He laughs loudly, carelessly. "Then come here. I know you like cuddling like this."
My frown instantly fades as I crawl over to him, collapsing on top of his warm chest.
I hum happily at his warmth, pulling myself up close so I can hear his steady heartbeat loud in my ears. He wraps his arms tightly around my waist and back, securing myself on top of his as our legs tangle together. I use my free hand, the one that's not trapped underneath me, to grab the old blanket from the back of the couch and toss it over me.
"What happened?" he finally asks, fingers tracing over the deep purple ring of bruise on my cheekbone. The peace doesn't leave his face, but his arm tightens around me like he can protect me from the whole world.
"Just patrol," I lie, ducking my head out of his reach.
"I was with you on patrol last night. You didn't take any hits. I know we're probably not really, really friends, but my couch is always open if you need to crash, baby boy," he murmurs, pressing a kiss to the top of my head.
"I'm okay, Wade," I reply, hating that I have to lie to everyone around me.
I'm Spider-Man. Spider-Man doesn't get abused. A hero stands up for themselves, not accepts the pain.
But I'm too scared of what would happen if I stood up to him. If I tried to stop it from happening.
As stupid as it may sound, Jason is still my parent. And there's no way I'm losing a fifth. There's no way I can lose a fifth. I'm not even sure anybody would believe me. Jason could tell them I sneak out every night and probably am part of a gang. It isn't really a lie. Plus, I can't help but think of how much May loved Jason. Jason's the last connection I've got to May. Which means he's the last connection I've got to Ben. And my parents too. I can't lose it. Sometimes if I'm really good, he'll tell me stuff about May. Let me look at some of the old photo albums or boxes of May's stuff. I can't lose that.
"Baby boy?" Wade asks, pulling me from my thoughts.
On the screen, the guy is finally catching the girl, kissing her in the falling snow, pulling her close.
I hum in response, tugging the blanket closer around me.
His hands drift a little as he begins to speak, but I don't really mind, it helps him talk about serious stuff to have a little bit of normalcy.
"Are you getting bullied at school? I know you're still like a little baby who goes to high school. So glad I'm done with that by the way. It sucks. But I know everyone thinks of you as like a weak kid, right? Is that where the bruises are coming from? Bullying?"
I want to cry at how much Wade cares about me. He can be so sweet when he wants to be. But I hold it together, knowing I'll have to lie some more. I do get bullied at school, but never to bruises. Just words and elbows and shoves here and there. But mostly verbal.
"It's not that bad, Wade," I whisper instead.
"I'm worried about you, pumpkin. You need to be on top of your game if you're going to be seen next to Deadpool," Wade says, trying to joke, but his voice falls again. "I'm worried about you. You're never hurt on patrol, but then I see you without the mask and you're always hurt. And trust me, I know when you're lying. You're always lying to me."
"I'm sorry," I murmur, tucking my nose against the bare skin of his neck.
"It's not your fault, petey-pie. I just wish you'd let me help you. I could kill whoever you want, you just gotta give me a name," he says, running a hand through a curl and smiling when I immediately lean into the touch.
"I'm okay, Wade. I promise. I'll tell you if it gets worse though, okay? Would that make you feel better?" I say, looking up at him through my lashes.
He immediately nods, smiling down at me before turning back to the movie. It's already ending, but Wade's quick to flip to the next channel where another Hallmark movie is just starting.
I feel my eyelids slipping shut, his warmth and the quiet movie, the rain pattering outside the window, and his soft breathing lulling me to sleep.
*
When I wake up, Wade's still underneath me, his arms still tight around my hips, hands having left my ass sometime after I had fallen asleep.
An episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine playing on the TV has Wade's attention until I start shifting.
"Sleep well, baby boy?" he says, a laugh that never leaves his lips vibrating through my body.
I hum in response, too groggy to even open my mouth to answer.
The thing is, Wade's cuddles are about as good as it gets. He's like a walking heater and he's so strong and he never lets go, even when he falls asleep. Plus, he smells like home. To anyone else, he'd smell like gunpowder, cheap soap, mint, and leather. But to me, he smells like home even in a room that feels like the farthest place from home.
He laughs again in response, this one coming out full and happy, my favourites of his laughs. The ones that he doesn't hold back from.
"It's already past noon. You wanna have lunch?" he suggests, shifting a little bit under me.
I whine in protest, not wanting to get up for the life of me.
"You're a growing boy, petey-pie. You've gotta be eating right. Did you have breakfast this morning? And we were out pretty late on patrol, did you have time to have dinner?"
I shake my head at both, mood dropping because he's probably disappointed in me. I had full intentions of having some dinner when I got back, but Jason was home and he was drunk and pissed which is never a good sign. I passed out before I had the time to get something to eat.
"See? You need to have something for lunch," Wade reprimands. He carefully shifts me so I'm more or less straddling his hips so he can sit up and then stand with me still fully against his chest. He stands about a foot above me and is a pretty strong guy, and I'm pretty light as well so it's almost pathetically easy for him to carry me.
He takes me to the kitchen and I sigh heavily when I see the mess Jason had made in here after I left for patrol. There's empty beer bottles strewn across the counters, torn up mail littering the counters and floor, soup is spilled across the stove, empty takeout containers everywhere. It's been about a week since I've been in here, eating dinner either on patrol or at Tony's, buying lunch in the cafeteria, and getting breakfast on the way to school. It got messy fast without me cleaning up all of Jason's messes.
Luckily, Wade doesn't comment, just finds a clean part of the counter to set me down on while he goes and raids the fridge. I mumble some apology about the mess, but he brushes it off easily.
"Sandwiches?" Wade suggests after rummaging through my near-empty fridge.
I nod, not really caring, stomach growling.
He nods in return, pulling some cheese out of the fridge and getting started on lunch.
I sigh quietly, knowing he'll be pissed if I don't clean this all up for him. So I hop down from the counter and grab the recycling bin under the sink, and begin to clean the kitchen as Wade cooks lunch. It seems almost too domestic. It's weird but insanely calming.
Me and Wade have been friends for years. Since middle school. I was 12 and he was 16. He didn't have many friends and neither did I. But he was tough and I was getting bullied.
We lost contact after he graduated. And then I had the whole spider bite thing happen and I met Gwen, and I sort of forgot about Wade.
And then Spider-Man met Deadpool. It was before civil war but nearing that point in time. I was still in my onesie costume and I was untrained and still just a little kid out on the streets. So Deadpool helped out. Lent a hand when I needed it.
A few months after civil war, we found out who each other was and we were ecstatic to finally be hanging out again.
Before we knew it, we escalated from just partners in stopping crime to cuddle buddies whenever one of us needed.
And here we are now, domestic as fuck.
I catch myself staring a bit too long at Wade and the beautiful planes of his skin, eyes focused intensely at the sandwiches so they don't burn. He turns, seemingly knowing I was looking first and grins happily.
"C'mere," he says, reaching his big hands out for me. I comply, stepping inside his reach and letting him grab my hips. He pulls me into his chest easily, holding me tightly to him.
"You look real freaked, baby boy. Is everything okay?"
I nod, humming in content. If Jason comes over, he'd kill me for hanging out with a guy like this. If there's one thing he hates, it's gay people.
I'm not gay. I know I'm bisexual. I've known forever. May and Ben knew.
But Jason can't find out. He'd kill me if he knew.
The anxiety leaves my body as he runs his hands over my back gently.
"What's up, Petey-Pie? You're normally not this tense at all," he says, massaging the knots out of my back.
"Just worried. 'Bout school. Stressed," I tell him, instead of any of the real things going on in my head. I can't tell him. I can't dump all my problems onto his shoulders. I'm a superhero. I can handle it. Instead, i bottle up all my real emotions, tucking them in the overflowing closet of bottles in the back of my mind.
He sighs, and I know he knows I'm lying, but he doesn't say anything as he removes one his hands from me to take the grilled cheese out of the pan and onto a plate I had gotten for him.
"Eat up and then take a shower. If you haven't had time to eat, you haven't had time to shower either," he says, smiling despite his demanding voice.
"Yessiree," I mumble, taking my plate as he flips another sandwich onto it.
"That's my good boy!" Wade exclaims, grinning and ruffling my hair. I pout, pushing his hands away.
"I'm not a toddler, Wade."
"Sure you're not. Go eat in the dining room. I'll be right there."
*
Wade stays the night, but heads out in the very early morning, before Jason can wake up. I leave only a couple hours later, to Gwen's house for our study date, leaving a note for Jason saying I'll be back for dinner.
I knock on Gwen's appartement door, deciding to go through the front instead of the window for once.
Her mom opens the door and she smiles happily though I can see the concern in her eyes as she takes in the fading bruise on my cheek.
"Hi, Miss Stacy," I say, smiling back softly.
"Hello, Peter," she says, eyes lingering on my bruise for just a couple too many seconds before she opens the door wider, and allows me into the house. "Do you want anything to eat? Or drink? Gwen's in her room."
"I'm good. Thanks, Miss Stacy. We'll come down for lunch in a few hours. We've got a big Chem test to study for and a big Spanish project to do."
"Sounds good, Peter. Don't be a stranger," she says, patting my shoulder and waving me off.
Gwen grins when she sees me, not even questioning my bruise. It's so normal for me to have them that she doesn't even bother questioning it.
She ushers me into her room and collapses down on her bed. I let my backpack fall to the floor and sit next to her, laughing lightly at her.
"Shut up," she whines, throwing an arm over her eyes. "I'm tired."
I laugh again, covering my mouth with my hand to muffle the noise. She slaps my shoulder with her free hand in return.
The room falls silent and Gwen peaks out from under her elbow.
"I worry," she admits, blue eyes staring at me with an intense fire. "About you."
"I'm fine, Gwen. I've told you," I reply, wishing not to have this conversation again. We have it every second month more or less.
"Flash doesn't hit you like that," she says, casting a glance at the bruises on my arms and face, and the one peeking out from under the collar of my shirt. "It's not Flash, and I don't believe it's from patrol like you say."
"I'm fine, Gwen," I repeat. The light filters through the blinds on the window, casting her in an orange glow as the sun peeks out from behind the clouds outside.
She rolls her eyes, pretending to be nonchalant about this though I know how much she really cares.
"You're not fine," she says, turning away from me to look at her vanity. It has at least half a dozen pictures of me and her from the past 2, almost 3 years we've been friends.
I look at my hands, my twisting fingers, clammy palms, and the ring of bruises around my forearms from Jason grabbing me a little too hard.
She finally speaks up again. "I didn't want to say anything. I know you hate talking about it, but you've got me in your corner, you know? If you need anything, I'll be here."
"I think I've got a crush," I admit, sorting through my thoughts to find anything.
Luckily, this strikes Gwen's attention and she sits up quickly, eyes widening in excitement.
"Who? Oh my gosh is it that cute girl from our Spanish class? Ooh, is it whatsherface from Bio?"
"Um, it's Wade. Wade Wilson. I think I really like him."
____
Wow I actually got this up one time
Lyss