On Friday night, Louis comes in a little bit later because he plans on staying to help Harry clean which really just means he wants to spend time with him. Him and Harry are the closest they've ever been and Louis' extremely happy about it.
Sure, it's really hard having to see Harry all the time with the feelings he has towards him but even if it hurts, there's still the wonderful feeling he gets from being around Harry in general that makes up for it.
Louis' really been thinking about it because at first he thought that the way he felt for Harry was just a crush that he'd be able to get over with time but, it's way more serious than that. Louis' able to picture himself in a real relationship with Harry and he could see them having some sort of future together.
Harry's perfect and Louis thinks that he's someone that he could possibly fall in love with if things keep going the way they are. Harry's so sweet and anyone who says differently can kindly fuck off because there's no way anyone could change his mind.
Louis finishes his last dance for the night at around two so he decides to just go get changed and see if Harry's in his office. He remembers when he was so scared of talking to Harry but now he's comfortable around him and he's pretty sure Harry feels the same way.
He goes into the locker room where he then goes to his locker and takes his things out. As he's in the middle of changing the door opens and Louis sees Bebe walk in.
"Hey," Bebe says when she gets over to her locker that's across from Louis'.
"Hey, how are you? We haven't really had time to talk lately."
"I know, I miss you...but uh, I've been talking to Noah."
Louis already knows what this means so he just rolls his eyes and turns around. "About?"
Bebe smirks. "I think you know."
"Okay? What exactly did he say about it?"
Bebe starts to change as well which obviously Louis doesn't care about. "He said you two have been spending a lot of time together lately. You guys went out to a bar?"
Louis sighs. "Okay yeah, fine. Harry and I are kind of close now but...that's it."
"Why'd you say that so sadly?"
"Hm? Oh, I don't know. It's nothing," Louis says in a very unconvincing way.
"No, tell me. You know I'm here for you. Is Harry being rude to you again?"
Louis sits down on the bench. "No, not at all," he pauses and debates if he wants to tell Bebe about his feelings for Harry or not. He hasn't told anyone yet and it's been weighing on his chest so maybe it would just be best to get it off. "I hate admitting this because it means you were right but, I like Harry...a lot."
Bebe's eyes go wide and her mouth drops open which slowly turns into a big smile. "Really?! Yes! I told you!"
Louis nods. "Yeah yeah, I know. I just don't think he feels the same and it really sucks because I have to see him all the time and I'm always being reminded that I'll never have him."
"Louis...shut up. You definitely have a chance with him."
"How do you know?" Louis asks Bebe who sits down next to him.
"Because babe, Harry has never been this happy. I'm not around him often and I can still tell his mood has changed for the better. You're the only person who has been able to get past his barriers and get to know him for real. I don't think if you didn't have a chance that he would keep you around for so long."
Louis sighs and takes in what Bebe just said. Maybe she's right or...maybe she's not. "Yeah but still. Everyone says how he's not good with emotions so how would he be able to to be in a real relationship?"
"You can't just assume things Louis. Stop focusing on the negative 'what ifs' and focus on the positive one's. What if he likes you back? What if you guys end up falling in love? What if you're the one who's supposed to help him realise work isn't the only thing that's important?"
Louis gives a small smile and a slow nod. "Yeah...I guess. I mean, I'm not going to like, ask him out or anything."
"Well no, maybe not tonight, but just have hope okay? If it's meant to be, things will fall into their rightful place. Don't get discouraged because things aren't happening right away. Love takes time."
Louis leans over and hugs Bebe who hugs him right back. "Thank you. You know, you're a really good friend."
Bebe pulls away and gives Louis a warm smile. "I just care about you."
They both stand up and grab their things before walking to the door. Before they part ways Bebe turns to Louis. "You really do owe me money now."
Louis laughs. "I guess I do, don't I?"
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"Another One Bites The Dust is the best and anyone who says differently is wrong."
Harry shakes his head. "No way, Killer Queen."
"It's a good one, but not the best," Louis says.
"Whatever you say..."
Him and Harry somehow got into a debate over which Queen song is best and Louis thinks it's Another One Bites The Dust but apparently Harry disagrees. That's okay though, because Harry's Harry and if he likes Killer Queen well, then so does Louis.
"What are you doing for your birthday? It's Christmas Eve right?" Harry asks.
Louis nods. "Yeah. Probably nothing special. Might go out with the boys, but that's it. I was going to go see my family but...well, you know."
Harry sees the frown on Louis' face which causes one to form on his own. He hates seeing Louis sad and he wishes there was a way to cheer him up.
"Yeah...sorry about that."
"It's okay. It's on a Thursday this year so at least I get to see you the day before, right?"
Harry gives Louis a fond smile. It's really nice knowing that Louis truly does enjoy being around him. Harry thinks about maybe getting Louis something for his birthday but he's not so sure about that because he doesn't want to end up getting him something stupid that he won't like.
"Yeah, I'll be here."
Louis smiles at Harry and scoots his chair closer to his desk so that he's right up against the other side.
"Can I be honest with you?" Louis randomly asks.
Harry gets a little nervous because what exactly does Louis want to be honest about? He feels like this could be a 'we need to talk' type of situation.
"...Sure."
"I'm really glad that we're," Louis pauses for a split second because the next word kind of hurts to say, "—friends now. I like being around you."
Harry looks into Louis' blue eyes that are starring right back into his. His heart starts beating faster and he knows that if he could, he'd lean over and kiss Louis senseless right now but...he can't.
"Yeah..." Harry says quietly. "Me too."
"This is probably so stupid and sappy, but I hope you know that I really do care about you. Like, I know that you don't like to have any serious relationships, I'm not sure why because you've never told me, but I just hope that we can stay like this for awhile." Louis' not really sure where all of this is coming from, maybe it's what Bebe said about giving it a chance or maybe it's just because he really does want Harry to know that he cares, either way it's still nice to finally be able to say it.
And he really does care so much. Ever since he's realized how much he likes Harry, there's been this feeling in his stomach that's almost like when you miss someone so bad but you can't see them. Louis knows that Harry's right there, but he just feels so far away. It's like he keeps reaching for something, but as soon as he gets close it just gets pulled away even further.
Louis doesn't even notice that he's lost in Harry's eyes because they're so hypnotising, and he's sure he could look at them for hours, but he's pulled back into reality when Harry starts speaking
"No, I feel the same way about you," Harry says, and then quietly and very hesitantly he adds, "you're uh, different...you stuck around even when I wasn't the nicest person, not many people have done that."
Louis feels like Harry's a magnet and he's a piece of metal because he just wants to get closer and closer. He fights it though and stays put. "I don't know, something told me you weren't the person you act like you are on the outside."
"Was that something right?" Harry asks in almost a timid and shy way, as if he's scared of what Louis will say.
"Of course, why else would I be here right now? I like you a lot, the real you."
Harry physically feels his heart ache. This is so hard. Every part of his body and mind, soul and whatever else there is, is telling him that he needs Louis. That nothing is more important than making sure he doesn't loose him. If he really thinks about it, Louis is probably the most important thing to him right now which is very different than from how things usually are.
"Well...I'm really glad you listened to that."
Louis nods and quietly says, "yeah...me too."
Neither of them say anything for a few seconds. They both feel the same way, and maybe deep down they know that. Maybe Louis subconsciously knows that the way Harry acts around him isn't in a 'just friends' way and maybe Harry knows that Louis acts the same, but of course neither of them say it.
They're both too scared that they'll mess up whatever it is that they have now and neither of them could handle loosing the other. They're both willing to suffer through this horrible feeling to be able to keep each other in their lives, even if it's not in the way they'd prefer.
"I'll be back." Harry stands up and walks out of the office, so Louis assumes he's going to the bathroom.
As soon as Harry's gone Louis lets out a long sigh. He honestly could cry from how much he wants Harry. He's not even exaggerating. If he let himself he would literally break down into tears right now because he's never wanted to be with anyone more than he does with Harry right now.
There's no way to tell how long he'll have to deal with this. There's not many options. One, he could just have to feel this way for as long as he knows Harry. Two, maybe he'll get over him at some point and they'll be able to be just friends without any other feelings. Or three, Bebe's right and maybe after some time Harry will start to feel the same way.
Meanwhile, Harry's not actually going to the bathroom but instead just standing in front of the mirror trying to figure out how he got himself into this mess. How the hell was Louis able to do this to him? He's gone years without feeling this way for another person but then Louis just walks into his life and everything is flipped upside down.
The reason Harry's mood changes isn't because Louis got in the way of work, or because if he ends up giving into his feelings he might not succeed, or even because he knows he cares about Louis more than any of those things, it's really just because he's so mad at himself.
He's mad because he's the one who put himself in this situation. If he hadn't become so work driven and determined to only focus on business, then maybe him and Louis would have already been together and happy by now. Maybe if he was able to just open up like a normal person he wouldn't have to continue trying to get past this terrible pain.
When Harry comes back into the office Louis immediately senses that something's wrong. There's no obvious signs but he just somehow knows that Harry's different now, than he was five minutes ago. He doesn't say anything though, in case he's wrong.
The first thought that goes through Louis' head is, what if Harry turns on him again? What if everything they've built up in the last few weeks comes crashing down within a matter of seconds?
Louis wouldn't be able to handle that. It would honestly really piss him off because Harry's done it so many times before, that at this point, if it happens again, Louis doesn't think that it's worth the pain to keep Harry around. He can't keep letting Harry hurt him and then forgiving him right after only for him to turn around and do the same thing over again.
"...Are you okay?" Louis asks Harry, who hasn't said anything yet.
Harry gives Louis an emotionless look that's practically impossible to read. His eyes have gone a bit colder and Louis recognizes the way that Harry's jaw slightly clenches from the last time he was like this.
"Yeah why?" Harry answers.
If Louis didn't know Harry and his type of behavior so well, the way he said that wouldn't be anything to think twice about. Only, Louis does know Harry and he can tell that there's some sort of emotion behind his words that just doesn't feel right.
"No you're not. What happened?" Louis asks, not letting Harry get away with this again without an explanation.
"Louis, what are you talking about? Nothing is wrong." Harry says with a bit of harshness to his tone, but not enough to come off as mad or upset.
"Really, Harry? Again?" Louis says, not believing that after what they just said to each other only a little bit ago, Harry would just flip like this.
"What?"
"You know what I'm talking about and don't even act like you don't. You're not allowed to just lead me on and then push me back ten seconds later," Louis says. It's different this time, the way he speaks to Harry, he talks to him as if he isn't walking on eggshells or not really sure if he's right. Louis always used to sound so hesitant and insecure when talking to Harry about these things.
This time, that emotional wall is gone. This time Louis' speaking to Harry, the real Harry. He's not speaking to his boss, or someone who he doesn't want to upset. His words are going straight through any barriers Harry has up.
"I'm not pushing you back," Harry says, tensing up a little in defense. Although, he knows in the back of his mind, he can't do this anymore. He knows that there's no lying to Louis anymore. That he can't hide anything now. Louis sees everything that's there, whether Harry wants him to or not.
"You are and I'm tired of acting like I don't notice it. You can't play with people's emotions like this, Harry. I like you a lot and I want you in my life but if you can't commit to whatever relationship we have right now, then I'm not going to keep putting my effort into it." Louis stands up from his chair and walks towards the door. As hard as it is and even though he's on the verge of breaking down, Louis knows he has to do this.
Harry stands up right after and follows Louis as he walks out into the main area of the club. "Where are you going?"
"Home. I'm done with this." Louis' voice is shaky but he manages to talk in a firm enough tone, not wanting Harry to think that he can somehow get him to cave in like every other time.
"With what?" Harry asks, watching Louis as he goes and gets his hoodie. His heart beating so hard he can almost hear it, and his throat starting to burn.
"With this, Harry." Louis gestures to the club. "With all of this."
He's so stupid. How could he mess up so badly. Everything was going well. Him and Louis were getting closer and things seemed like they were going to last for awhile but now he's on the verge of already loosing Louis over something that he could've easily avoided.
Louis goes to the door without looking back, before opening it and walking out. Harry instinctively starts to take a step forward to follow him but he stops himself. Should he really chase after him? Louis would probably be so much better off without Harry in his life. It's probably best that Harry let's him walk away.
But he just can't do that. Maybe it's selfish but he can't lose Louis, not like this. Not when he has a chance to try and get him back. Fuck his work. Fuck his parents. Fuck his success. Fuck everything that isn't Louis because he's all that matters. Louis is the only thing he wants and if he lets him slip away this easily he'll never regret anything more in his entire life.
Harry doesn't hesitate this time when he walks out the door to hopefully catch up to Louis in time. Thankfully he's still walking down the street to his car that he probably parked so far away due to there not being any spaces open that were closer to the club when he got there.
Harry starts to walk faster until he's only a few feet away. Louis hears his foot seps and turns around.
"What?" He scoffs. "Did I forget something?"
Harry stares at Louis for a moment before forcing himself to push out the words he wants to say. "Don't—don't go."
"Harry stop, I'm leaving okay? I can't do this anymore and I'm not going to keep putting myself through this."
Harry doesn't say anything. He can't say anything, he's frozen. He's so overwhelmed and scared, he doesn't even know if he's breathing.
"Okay Harry, maybe I'll see you around or something." Louis turns around and starts to walk away again.
Harry, not giving himself anytime to overthink it, gently grabs Louis arm and spins him around.
"Wha—"
Before Louis can finish Harry pulls him in and kisses him. Harry's not sure if he's the one that decided to do it or if the universe forced him to because right now his mind is spinning and he feels like he's on the verge of blacking out, but either way, he's glad he did.
At first Louis doesn't move, his body taking a second to process what's happening, but then he relaxes and gives in, wrapping his arms around Harry's neck and standing up on his toes just a bit.
Harry grips Louis' waist and pulls him closer so that they're pressed up against one another. Louis tangles his fingers in Harry's, now somewhat long curls, managing to pull him even closer.
The kiss feels like a kiss from any Disney princess movie. Louis literally feels tingles in his lips, and pretty much everywhere else. He can't seem to get enough of Harry who he's been dying to have. It's the best thing he's ever felt and he's one hundred and ten percent sure that he wants to do it again, and again, and again.
Louis knew in his heart that leaving wasn't what he wanted to do. He knew it'd break him and he'd never really bounce back from Harry. That'd he'd never feel satisfied until he got to be with him, so every part of him is thankful that this is happening.
Harry's head is still spinning, but in the best way imaginable. For once he's not focused on anything bad, all that's on his mind is Louis and how amazing kissing him feels. All of the anxiety from before vanishes. It's almost like a dream. Harry never imagined that he'd work up enough courage to do this but here he is, outside in the freezing cold, kissing someone who's not only perfect but also the only one who's ever made him feel like he'd be willing to give up everything he has just to be with them.
After what feels like a long, but also way too short of a time, they pull away from each other. Both have dazed looks in their eyes as they stare at one another. Their lips are swollen and Louis' still pressed against Harry with his hands tangled in his hair. Harry doesn't even think about letting go of Louis this time, physically or emotionally.
"I don't want you to go," is all Harry quietly says, not being able to get much more out.
Louis takes a shaky breath but doesn't try and pull away. "If— if I stay, if I keep letting myself fall for you, Harry, you have to swear to me that you won't try and push me away anymore."
"I swear," Harry says a bit hesitant, not because he's umsure about wanting to be with him, but because he's still not sure if it's what's best for Louis. But then, he looks at Louis again and remembers how perfect he really is and this time, much more confidently, he says it again.
Louis smiles, not being able to control the fluttering of his heart or the way his whole body is warm even though it's literally starting to snow.
"Okay, okay good...because I really didn't want to leave you."
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A/N: So there it is...36 chapters later. I'm not going to lie, I really like the way I decided to do this and I hope you guys love it just as much as I do because it's my favorite part of this story. I really hope that I didn't let you guys down or anything because I know it probably wasn't the way you were expecting it to happen (unless it was idk). I know I put you through a lot of waiting but I'm hoping that this at least somewhat makes up for it?
ALSO, the reason there's so little comments on when they kiss is because I edited it in docs and copy and pasted it back so it took away all of the comments for the separate sections, they're just all in the comment bubble at the bottom where the voting star is, there was I think like 200 or something