**
Morning brings only more fear and apprehension. You hadn't slept at all, how could you?
Four boys stumble out of their rooms, bleary-eyed and disheveled, into the kitchen where you sit, stressing.
Jin and Namjoon make coffee, whilst Tae and Hobi sit down with you, not bothering to say a word, what was there to say?
The feeling of sick and nervousness doesn't normally affect you this way. In all the times you had wrought dangerous deals you had never felt like this.
In your heart, you knew it was because you had so much more to lose, and it scared you. The stakes were higher than ever before. No blackmailing, threat, laundering or business deal could come close, this was Jungkook's life.
You knew it, and you were trying not to let it consume you.
A red-eyed, puffy Jimin stumbles in, the members all take in his appearance and you knew he had probably got just as much sleep as you- which amounted to exactly zero.
You knew why as well, Yoongi hadn't come back. His presence was like a void around the breakfast table.
You knew Jimin had tried to call him all night, you had heard his cries from your room. You wonder if any of the other members slept, you know Tae didn't, he had found you in the early morning.
Together you sat, wrapped in too many blankets, and shared stories of Jungkook and the boys. You're not sure if it helped or not. But after a while, he managed to find sleep and his steady breathing had calmed you and kept you grounded through the hours to follow.
Hoseok leans over and snags your untouched coffee, you would protest but you couldn't stomach even a small sip. The drink seems to warm him, colour rushing to his cheeks.
Finally, a sincere Namjoon speaks up, 'Get ready, it's time.'
**
Sitting in a small, dingy coffee shop, it reminds you of the second time you met Jungkook. Grimacing slightly at the memory you think how you must have looked after being on the streets for three weeks.
You wonder why in the world he bothered to stop you, why he even cared to talk to you. You must have looked tragic and run down, great impression, you think with only a hint of actually worry. Since that day he had shown to you over and over how much he cared for you, the real you.
Now you sit, surrounded by everyone, minus Jungkook and Yoongi, and the two's absences seem to weigh heavy on everyone.
Tae speaks softly, 'Y/N, how did you know the exchange was happening here?'
You look at Tae, and know you cannot tell him, what you did here, you shudder at the memories of your old life, the evil plans you had to carry out because you had no other choice.
'Lots of times, in gangs, they don't mention locations by name, So it's less likely to be found out and busted. Instead, they tend to associate places with secrets, that way only the person who knows the secret can find the location.' You explain, but still, Tae pushes his questions and you grimace at the eyes on you.
'But how did you know here, from what he said... He said,' Tae fiddles with his hands, looking down quickly, 'He said the place... The place you broke the enemy.'
You wince, from Tae's soft lips it sounded so guttural and dark.
You close your eyes, 'I can't talk about it.'
**
After a moment your eyes seek out Jimin, knowing he felt your loss more than the rest, he had lost someone too.
You didn't mention his puffy eyes this morning. You didn't want to remind him, or push him too much, everyone had heard the screamed words thrown across Yoongi's room last night, ending with the slammed door.
But you do grab his hand under the table, feeling the slight tremor, and not knowing who's fingers it came from.
Your thoughts were too crazy for even a seconds peace. Continuously running through the plan, trying to find any flaws, potential weaknesses. It had to work, you needed it to.
You knew you would drive yourself crazy analysing every potential problem that could happen. So instead you push away those thoughts and sit thinking of the person who means to world to you, and you're sure Jimin was doing the same.
He sits next to you not even bothering to touch the drink in front of him that Hoseok had brought to the table.
No one was drinking, you noticed, and neither was you. Too sick to even consider a drink or food.
'So one more time,' Namjoon's voice interrupts you. 'You don't move until you see Jungkook is safe,' he continues.
'Yes Namjoon, trust me I have it memorised,' how could you not? But still he insists on saying each step aloud like some sort of mantra, the only issue is he expects you to reply every single time, and this was the fifth run through- you think. You had lost count after the third.
Seeing your face Jin gives you the look across the table, as if to say, humour him- please. Next to him, Joon grips Jin's sleeve as he speaks aloud.
So you sigh and look expectantly at a worried Namjoon and let him continue.
'You wait in the middle of the shopping square, remember- don't move until you see Jungkook,'he stresses the last part.
You nod your head and pretend like he hadn't told you that five times already, next to you Tae squeezes your cold hand.
'The police will be undercover waiting, you stay until Jungkook is released and at a safe distance before you begin to walk towards them...'
With a subdued look he stated 'Y/N its only on your movement the police will come, so it has to be timed perfectly.'
'Yes, thank you for reminding me how much the plan depended on me, how much Jungkook was depending on me.' You bite out between clenched teeth.
'Too early and Jungkook is too close to them, too late and you arise suspicion... Understand?' He looks at you doubtful and you know he is only projecting his worry and anxiety about the whole thing, so you do what you can to relax him.
'Don't worry about me,' you try to make your tone light, preferably like you're not about to walk towards your own funeral, 'I use to do shit like this every day.'
Hoseok snorts at your bad joke and next to him Jimin seems to be startled out of his mood.
Reluctantly you check the time on Jin's watch.
Breath.
Time to go.
Standing slowly you push yourself to keep it together. Any weakness and you're sure they would all bundle you to safety in a heartbeat- Tae suspiciously still hadn't let go of your hand.
Reminding yourself why you were doing this, you gather your strength and cunning. You needed to do this for Jungkook. You would save him.
'It will all be okay,' you say almost to yourself.
But a so-far-quiet Jimin says, 'What if it's not?'
His worry and fear stop any meaningless comment you were about to say, like how it won't be, or, you promise, it will be fine. Instead, you look him straight in the eyes and give him the honestly he deserves.
'What I said earlier, was true. I have done this a lot, and sometimes yeah, it doesn't go to plan. But I am getting Jungkook back today- even if I have to drag him away myself.'
Taking a breath you turn to look at them all, and you know what you're about to say will cause a lot of trouble. But still, you mean every word.
'But, if that does happen, you all need to promise me something. You all need to stay inside, no matter what.'
You don't leave space for it to be a request- you tell them, you can't put them in danger, because of your old life.
Immediately you get the reaction you expected.
'No!'
'No way Y/N.'
'No... No.'
Tae's grip is painfully tight, and every face on yours is angry.
'We can't do that- no way,' Jin tells you with no room for change.
But you're not backing down, not on this one.
'Please, I can't handle seeing any of you close to my old life, being anywhere near a danger caused by me, your all too... Too important to me, okay?'
You voice cracks slightly at the end, this raw emotion distracts you, and you can't have that, you know they will distract you, you can't save everyone.
'I can't have anyone else hurt because of me, stay here so you don't distract me throwing yourselves in harm's way, I have to get Jungkook back...
Let me do what I'm good at.'
With the end of your words, you slowly loosen your grip from Tae and look around at them one by one, Namjoon, Jin, Hoseok, Jimin and Tae.
Unhappily they each nod, it hurts them to do so.
But with their promise you can forget your fear and face the exchange your about to win, game face on.
You walk away from them all, and towards your deal with the devil.
**