Irene reclined against the seat in the technician's office as Charles and Monica encoded rebel messages. She had to be careful about spending too much time away from her house. If Lynch unexpectedly visited and found her gone, she doubted he'd buy into her lies.
There was something comforting about sitting with the other spies, talking fondly of the future ahead. Not that Irene expected to benefit much in the long run. She'd already lost everyone close to her. Her decision to spy wasn't meant to correct her horrid behavior in the past. She didn't expect an apology. She didn't expect Cherie to take her back. She didn't expect to see Elijah again. She didn't expect Lillian to love her. But she hoped they would be able to stop looking at her like a monster when all this was done with.
"Looks like they'll be planning the operation in October," Monica said as she jotted down notes in front of her.
"Will that be enough time to prepare?" Irene wondered.
Charles sipped on his mug of hot coffee. "Should be. If they wait too long, Lynch might catch on. We're very careful around here, but Lynch must know messages are being relayed. Why he's waiting to take action, I'm not sure."
Irene slowly nodded, her palms beginning to feel clammy. She hated that she felt fear around that man, but his mysterious visits and vague speeches always left her with a sense of discomfort. She was glad now more than ever that Elijah was away from the headquarters and safe.
"Are you planning to join them, Irene?" Charles asked curiously.
Irene shook her head. "I think it's better I stay here."
"You might get into some serious trouble if you linger too long," Monica stated as she began clicking through some more files. "The way I see it, either the spies are going to join the rebels or be killed off. There won't be a happy medium. There's nothing keeping you here, is there? Why not go home?"
Irene dryly gulped. "I don't want to. Not yet."
"You've already done enough," Charles told her.
"No. I need to do more. I need to prove to them..."
"If you're trying to prove yourself, why not reveal your identity?" Monica suggested. "Maybe they'll be willing to cooperate even more if they know it's you."
"They wouldn't. I don't want to leave or reveal myself anytime soon. I need to keep fooling Lynch," Irene said.
"You won't be able to fool him forever," Charles warned.
"I can. I can," Irene repeated, almost as if it were a mantra. Why couldn't she just step out the headquarters and escape? She could reasonably do so with the number of allies she'd gained lately. There was fear on other side. Remaining here might mean punishment by Lynch, but heading back would most likely result in cold responses from the others.
There's nowhere left for me, Irene thought hopelessly.
She stood up, saying her quiet good-byes. As she headed out of the Tech building, onto the street, she watched the sun begin to set. Irene shivered a bit, finding that the weather was getting colder at night.
Her heart sunk as she thought of the discussion that had transpired. In truth, she did miss the others. She missed Cherie's warm attitude, Marc and Conny's playfulness, Lillian's love...Hell, she even missed Cassie's obnoxiousness. She hoped they were taking good care of her son.
Irene let out a sigh, wondering how she had ever dug herself into this mess, wondering why she had let fear make her decisions for her. For so many years now she'd lived in limbo, never sure of her actual place in this world or what she was meant to do.
She remembered what Monica had said, that they would all have to make a choice eventually. Irene didn't want to become a sacrificial lamb, but she was too frightened to head back to Cherie and the others.
For now, Lynch had kept quiet and seemed pleased with her work. She put all her attention into creating a convincing hardworking façade at the office. Each human-born she sent a Preserver after was a heartbreakingly convincing way for her to prove her loyalty to Lynch. She hated every second of it.
Irene turned the corner, guessing she'd make herself a quick dinner and head off to bed when she nearly collided into a person.
"Oh, sorry!" she exclaimed, moving to the side. She glanced up, freezing at the sight.
Miguel looked as surprised as she was. He blinked, most likely registering her existence. Irene quickly backed up. She clenched her fists and lowered her eyes.
"Hi," she grumbled.
"Hi," Miguel quietly replied.
"Why are you around this part of the headquarters?" she asked. "You live and work on the opposite side."
"I had a meeting," Miguel answered.
The streetlights flickered on as the sky began to turn indigo. Irene stood her ground, staring into the face of the man she had once loved. Both were uncomfortable by the encounter, but neither knew how to end the conversation.
"You moved out," Miguel said.
"I did," Irene growled. "I live over here now. Still living with your parents?"
"Yes. But I work too often for that to bother me," Miguel stated.
"Ah, yes. How many hours do you work nowadays? Twenty?" Irene asked.
Miguel narrowed his eyes. "Look, if you're just going to fight with me, then I won't try to make casual conversation with you."
"You don't have to make any casual conversation with me! I made it clear I didn't want anything to do with you," Irene grumbled. "You could've bumped into me, said sorry, and then left."
"You bumped into me!" Miguel exclaimed.
"Whatever."
"Where did you come from then? Isn't your work in the opposite direction?" Miguel wondered.
"Grocery store," Irene muttered.
"You don't have any groceries."
"The produce didn't look too good," Irene breathed.
"Your parents talk to my parents all the time about how worried they are about you."
Irene rolled her eyes. "What does it matter what they think? Stop listening to them. Tell your parents to stop talking to them."
"I'm trying. I don't want anything to do with you either."
"Good."
"Good."
The two ex-lovers were quiet for a few moments. Irene crossed her arm and tapped her foot, waiting for Miguel to take off first, but he stood his ground and stared up at the stars, as if he were pondering something.
"I didn't come from a meeting. I have a date," Miguel stated.
"Are you going to try to rape her too?" Irene asked coldly. "Maybe she'll give you a dozen children that you can raise to be as corrupt as you."
"Will you shut the hell up?!" Miguel yelled.
"What? Do you think that would make me jealous?! I don't give a damn about your romantic life."
"Well, what are you doing then? You can't just be working and going home. You have to be seeing some else. You can't just live like that," Miguel grumbled.
"Yes, I can. It's boring, but I manage," Irene said simply. "Even if I did love someone else, did you think I would tell you? Why do you feel the need to shove your feelings in my face? I haven't loved you in years. Go on to your new girlfriend and give her that same, worn engagement ring."
Miguel lunged forward, grabbing the collar of Irene's neck.
"Let go, or I scream," she hissed in his face.
Miguel slowly let loose of her collar, letting out a disgruntled sigh.
"I'm glad our son isn't here. I wouldn't want you raising him either," Miguel said quietly.
Irene was tempted to swing a punch, but she kept her fist down. "I loved Elijah. I was the one raising him day in and out while you ran away to work all day."
"Mothers don't abandon their children," Miguel coldly said.
"For a good reason, maybe," Irene breathed. There was a pause in the conversation, filled only by the sound of chirping crickets. "Good-bye, Miguel."
"Good riddance," Miguel spewed as they walked past each other.