This is for all my fallen angels who are going through something right now.
I love you.
I need you to know that if you feel like you have no one, I'm here for you. I care for you. You're my everything.
Please, don't do anything stupid.
If you ever need to talk, I'm here. i may not always be on this account, but i'll be here if you need me.
And you may think that my life could possibly be perfect and that I'm just soooo happy all the time.
But let's rewind to a few years ago.
I had major depression when I was in xxx grade. It was bad but it wasn't as bad as it was when I started xxx grade.
I would cry for hours in my room. I wouldn't go out. I wouldn't eat. I hated myself. I hated everything.
I wanted to die.
Trust me when I say it was bad.
I've attempted suicide on many occasions. I've even tried to overdose.
Eventually, I discovered kpop.
This is a true story.
I began to get happier.
It would make me laugh so much watching my favorite idols on variety shows and stuff like that.
And then I eventually started writing my text books.
And I met all these wonderful people
You're comments make me so happy.
And I'm in a way better place in my life now.
I got rid of some awful people.
I'm comfortable with where I'm at.
It'll all get better soon.
I promise.
Please know I'm always here for you.
Please talk to me if you need to.
Please don't die.
I love you too much.
No matter what's going on in your life right now, please. Don't do anything stupid. For me.
It doesn't matter your sexuality, your gender, your skin color, your race, your looks.
I love you all. You all matter to me. You all are important.
Please keep fighting.
I know it hurts.
It can REALLY hurt.
I've been there.
I got made fun of for being bisexual.
When I was with my ex boyfriend, his brother yelled out at lunch one day "_____ IS DATING A BISEXUAL GIRL. THATS DISGUSTING. WHATS WRONG WITH YOU?"
I mean they're family was like, REALLY religious but I mean, that dude really loved me. He ended up breaking up with me because of his brother.
And then, a few months later, his brother was telling my ex best friend that he's sorry and he thinks that me and my ex should get back together.
But I was kinda over him by then and he had became annoying and like way too clingy to me and he was like obsessed. So yeah.
I LOVE YOU. YOU MATTER. YOU'RE MINE. ALL MINE, GOT THAT ?? EVEN IF YOU'RE IN A RELATIONSHIP,, YOU'RE MINEEEE !
PLEASE, TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.
With love, your eomma, your noona, your dongsaeng, your author-nim, Lilith 💞
let me just add,, i wrote this a while back. and currently, i'm in such a horrible place in my life.
everything that i thought was horrible before, has become nothing but a mere scratch in my past.
ive had such horrible things happen recently. my head has been in the wrong space for a while. my whole life has turned to shit.
i've had to adjust to a new lifestyle. and it sucks.
my depression is back. i'm getting anxiety. everything is just horrible.
i started cutting again and there's so many scars on my thighs. i tried killing myself again recently.
but i think, things are starting to get better. it was hell in the beginning, when the situation first occurred.
but now, the sun is starting to shine again after the rain.
and i promise the same will happen for you, if you're experiencing anything horrible right now.
and i'll always be here if you need me, okay ?
i love you.
muah muah~