Chapter 42
He was dead.
That was all that kept replaying in my mind. From the minute the zinc door shut, to when I was dragged into the clinic's van, to when we got to the police station, to when we slept in the police station for safety and to when we all woke up the next morning to be questioned by the police officers.
I didn't want to believe what my mind was telling me, but, all my life I have seen the impossible happen.
If I said I fell asleep last night, I was lying. Everybody was sound asleep in either the van or the police station reception, pretending like we didn't just have a rough night. But I stayed up all night, staring at the ceiling of the reception area. No tears to cry, no strength to fight.
Until morning came.
"Do you understand what we're saying?" The police officer asked me.
I remained silent.
"Miriam."
I stared into space, my brain refusing to respond to anything.
"Miriam Garba." The second police officer called me.
Just leave me to die.
"Miriam Garba!" The first police officer slammed his hand on the table in front of me. It didn't scare me but just caused my brain to finally respond back to reality.
I looked up at the two police officers sitting behind the desk in front of me. They both stared back at me in frustration, probably tired of my attitude.
"I said did any of those fake soldiers touch you?" The first police officer asked while resting his back against his chair.
Usman Danladi almost did. He wasn't even just going to touch me, he was going to go all the way. That bastard.
"No." I finally responded.
The men nodded and the second police officer wrote down something on his paper, probably the statement of what happened last night.
"This man here, " The first police officer stretched out a black and white passport photo of a man printed on a sheet of paper. "did you recognize him before last night?"
I stared down at the picture. It was Mantis.
I shook my head, "No. why?"
"He was the defence lawyer for Abbas Hassan's case." He responded, "We believe he is the killer we've been looking for but unfortunately, we were not able to get enough information because he was killed last night by one of our soldiers."
"You're saying Mantis is the children killer?" I asked for more clarification, because none of this made any sense.
"Yes. Why else would he defend Abbas Hassan in court? And why else would he be leading the riot?"
I scoffed in disbelief. These police officer's speculations were far worse than mr Zamani's own. They clearly had no evidence but they were ready to dump a serious matter on a dead man's head because that was the easy way out.
Now I understood why Mantis was so angry at our driver last night when he told him how unfair his people were being to us. Society was the one being unfair. Our 'sensible' lies and imaginations only cause more trouble than protect us.
"You know forming up stories will not make your work easier, baa?" I argued while resting my back against the chair.
"What we do is none of your business." The first police officer responded, sounding unbothered about my statement.
I shook my head in disbelief, "Like how we called your line when we were in danger and you told us that you didn't have fuel in your car."
"You can leave. We're done with you." He ignored me and collected the paper back.
I didn't waste time to leave the nonsense office. I could hear the men hissing behind me but I didn't care. If only they did their job and showed up when we called last night, Hamid wouldn't be where he is now.
I walked out of the police station and stood in front of the building. I sighed in frustration and was about to cover my face with my hands but then I remembered that my hands were not that clean despite I rinsed it over and over again.
I stared down at my skin and school uniform to still see the bloodstains on them. Hamid's blood.
"She's here." I heard someone say from the side.
I turned my head to see some of the people from my van approaching me hurriedly. They all stared at me with pity and some of the women even began hugging me. They started apologizing about last night, still believing that Usman Danladi actually did something to me. But I had to stop them.
"Don't worry, I'm fine." I gave them a small smile, "He didn't touch me."
Relief flushed on all their faces and they all began to praise God. Some of them told me of how they were praying I wouldn't get HIV or get pregnant. They weren't even concerned about the fact that I could have been scarred or traumatised for the rest of my life.
"Excuse us." I heard our driver say to them and he pulled me out of the little crowd.
I stared at Endurance in curiosity as he took us a few meters away from our van people.
"I'm really glad you're alright." He said.
"I'm glad you're alright too." I said, knowing that he was two seconds away from Mantis shooting his head last night.
"Please you need to see doctor Hajara." He pointed at the van parked not too far from us, "She has been blaming herself all night for everything that happened. She still believes that dada man did something to you."
I nodded and he patted my shoulders before I left. I walked over to the van to see doctor Hajara sitting on the passenger seat, the same doctor that told all of us to come down from the van when Mantis stopped us at the military checkpoint.
I stood in front of her opened van door and she didn't notice my presence because her mind was still far away. I bent my head to see her face clearly and I could see how red her eyes were, redder than my own despite I was bawling all night.
Her head turned to look at me and as soon as her eyes met mine, she broke down in tears. She touched my face and began apologizing with so much guilt. I knew it was because of my red eyes and eye bags that she overreacted like this. She thought I was in pain because of Usman Danladi.
"You didn't do anything wrong. Stop blaming yourself." I kept arguing while holding her hands tightly. But she didn't stop crying. She knew how hard it was for a woman to recover from something like that.
Compared to every other person from our van, she was the one that was the most understanding. I didn't know whether she has had her own personal experience too but I just chose not to ask about it.
After several minutes of trying to convince her that Usman didn't touch me, she calmed down but I could still see the guilt in her eyes and she remained quiet ever since then, refusing to talk to anybody.
Everybody was set to leave the police station after the last few people had their statement written down by the police officers. They questioned all of us about Mantis and a few people were beginning to fall for the police's trap, believing that Mantis was the children killer.
We were informed that the second van from last night, which was Kaka's van, was safe and they took their patients to the new private hospital in Mansur. Heaven's Gate hospital. We were also told that the NHF ambassador offered to pay the hospital fee for all the patients in that van because his daughter was one of the NHF volunteers with them.
I didn't know how to cry because this was more than a miracle. I really wanted Kaka to get the best treatment possible but we did not have the funds and now, an angel, a man we have never met, was answering our prayers. My only fear was if Kaka did not get the chance to be admitted.
While we were on our way to the hospital, we all looked outside our windows to see the condition that Mansur was in after yesterday's riot. A lot of buildings and infrastructures were destroyed and burnt down, but not the whole of Mansur was in this condition. Some parts were still safe and soldiers guarded those areas. Fortunately, the hospital was in one of those safe areas.
As our van drove into the hospital compound and stopped directly in front of the building, I jumped down and ran to search for Kaka.
I asked the receptionist for the people from Tafawa Balewa clinic.
"And who are you looking for?" The receptionist asked.
"Tabitha Yusuf." I called Kaka's real name. It felt really weird coming out of my mouth.
The receptionist scanned through her computer screen and nodded before she called out, "Bashir!"
The male nurse, that was watching TV and sitting on one of the receptionist side, stood up and walked over to our side.
"Take her to room 15." She ordered.
Bashir glanced at me before gesturing for me to follow him. I followed him down the corridor and up the stairs to get to room 15. I glanced around the hospital as we walked pass the different wards. It was a very big two story building with clean white walls, in which will definitely turn brown or start peeling off in a year or two.
The more we walked down each corridor in the hospital, the more I was reminded about last night. How the Tafawa Balewa clinic corridor lights were blinking, and how the cleaner from my school had an epilepsy attack.
I shook my head off it, trying so hard to forget about last night for at least one minute. Just one minute. All I needed to know right now was if Kaka was safe.
We came to a stop in front of room 15 and before the nurse could tell me this was the place, I already ran inside to search for Kaka. I quickly scanned through all the 12 beds that were in the room, with a patient on each one. Until I found Kaka's body lying on the last bed on the right side of the room. She couldn't see me because her back was facing me and she was probably sleeping.
I walked over to her side and came to stand in front of her bed. I stared at her face as she was sound asleep in her hospital gown under the blanket. Despite everything that has happened these past few days, this was the one thing that gave me peace. Just seeing that she was safe and getting the right treatment was enough for me.
I gently sat down on the bed and touched her shoulders. Her eyes snapped open and the moment she saw me there, she quickly sat up and stared at me in disbelief. I could tell that she was worried about me all night.
"I'm here." I whispered with a smile.
Her eyes couldn't believe I was there and she gave me a quick hug and moved back to study me. Then her eyebrows furrowed in concern as she looked around my body.
It wasn't the fact that I looked untidy in my white and red uniform that has been stained with the smoke dusts from our burning house. It was the bloodstains around my skin and school uniform that caused her to look at me strangely.
It was at that moment that I felt my voice stuck on my throat, because I hadn't told anyone about Hamid. I tried to speak but it was so hard for me and when I could almost let out a word, Kaka gestured for me not to say anything and just hugged me. This was all I needed to feel right now. The comfort that the one person who used to give it to me was... not here.
Later that day, more of the NHF volunteers from Abuja came to help those of us from the Tafawa Balewa clinic. They donated clothes, shoes, toiletries and some food items. We called them the 'NHF heroes' because what would we have done without them. These people have taught us that we didn't have to seat back and wait for the government to do everything. If the government was not doing anything, it was about time somebody else did.
It wasn't until late afternoon that I was able to finally have my bath. After I had my bath and changed into an old-looking yellow ankara gown that was donated by the NHF volunteers, I stood in front of the toilet mirror and tried to wash off the blood stains in between my zig zag all-back plaiting. And just before I could finish, I stopped and stared at myself for a long time before I broke down in tears for the fourth time today.
Why did it have to be Hamid? Why did it have to be his blood I was washing? Of all the people in this world, it just had to be him.
There was a knock outside the toilet door before I heard one of the women complain, "Aunty, hurry up! Are you the only person on this planet that wants to baff!"
I was so stuck in my own pain that I had forgotten there was a long line of women, both the clinic patients and those from Tafawa Balewa clinic, that wanted to use the bathroom.
I quickly rinsed my face and put on my oversized white and black stripped 'adibaba' slippers, that I also got from the donation bag, before I left the toilet.
Some of the women started insulting me for wasting their time in the toilet and I just ignored them because I didn't even have time for their rubbish when I had so much on my plate.
I dropped my dirty school uniform beside Kaka's bed as she was lying down and reading her bible. We didn't say anything to each other and Kaka just touched my shoulder lightly, trying to remind me that she was still there.
I touched her hand for a second before I stood up to leave the ward to take some fresh air outside.
The moment I got downstairs, I heard screaming and wailing down the corridor beside me. I stood at the bottom of the stairs and watched what was happening with the other amebo people around.
Two doctors were holding onto a woman as she screamed and cried in pain on the floor. They did their best to take her away but she was very difficult to handle.
The more I stared at her, the more I began to recognize the woman's face. It was Hamid's mother.
"They have killed my son!" She cried out, loud enough for everybody to hear, "Those men have killed my son oh!"
I put my hands over my mouth to stop the pain in my chest as I heard her shout. Her pain was far worse than mine. I really wanted to go and comfort her, but it was at that moment that an angry-looking General Abdulkareem walked out of a ward that was just beside where his wife was sitting.
He didn't bother looking around as he just forced his wife to stand up and he dragged her away to leave the hospital, with the two doctors following them behind.
The four of them passed my side but neither General nor his wife noticed my presence as they were in a hurry to leave.
Just before the second doctor could pass me, I quickly stopped him to find out something from him.
"Doctor, please I want to ask something." I said and pointed to the ward that General just walked out from, "The patient in that room... is his name Abdulhamid Abdulkareem?"
The doctor furrowed his eyebrows at me in concern, "Yes, and who are you?"
I was about to tell him who I was but then I hesitated because I knew he would tell General.
"Nobody." I shook my head.
He didn't bother to say more and continued to run after General Abdulkareem. Once he was out of the door, I turned to the side to look at the ward General walked out from.
I began to walk towards the ward, with each step feeling heavier than ever. Once I got close to the half-opened door, I stopped and stood there, gathering all the courage I need for what I was about to see.
Then I peeped inside to see Hamid's body lying there in the ICU. A ventilator was placed over his mouth and nose for him to breathe.
I put my hands over my mouth and shut my eyes with the little relief that just flashed in my chest. He was in a coma. There was a tiny bit of hope that he could make it.
But then, fear gripped me all over again. Because this was almost the same way I lost my father few years ago after his accident. He was also in an ICU, unconscious for a short while before he died. And I really did not want the same thing to happen to Hamid.
Nobody was inside Hamid's single ward and I felt this was my opportunity to see how he was doing. I glanced around to see if any of the doctors were watching me, but thankfully none of them were there.
I stepped into the small ward and gently shut the door behind me. I turned around and stared at Hamid lying flat on his bed in the middle of the room. No movement, no sound. The heaviness in my chest increased and I knew being here will do me more harm than good.
I picked up the plastic chair beside the door and brought it beside his bed, where I could be close to him. I sat on the chair and stared at his stitched up face over the bruises of last night. His half-swollen eyes were shut and his body did not respond to any movement I made.
He didn't even know I was here.
I felt hot stream of tears flowing down from my left eye before it began to fall from my right eye. I didn't want to cry. I really didn't want to. But the tears refused to stay back. They kept coming down more and more until I was gasping for air because my chest couldn't take it anymore.
He was half-dead. Just one little mistake from the doctors and he would be gone. For good.
"Hamid." I whispered while still gasping for air. I knew he couldn't hear me.
I stretched out my right hand to touch his hand that was lying at his side, but my hand began trembling. It was trembling so bad like it was about to fall off.
Focus, Miriam.
I still stretched my hand towards Hamid's own until it finally touched his. And soon, my hand stopped shaking.
I placed both of my hands over his own and I could feel the coldness of his skin. I looked back at his face and just stared at it hopelessly. Because there was one thing for sure;
This was our earthquake. The last and the biggest destroyer of our destiny.
"You know," I began to talk to him, "I can go to hell fire right now and kill Usman Danladi's soul fifty times, just for doing this to you. Hell is really not enough for him."
And I meant it.
I stared at Hamid's face to look for any movement, even a slight chuckle, but there was none. I really wanted to see that smile. Just one more time. Just one. Would that ever be possible again?
I cried harder at the thought of it and squeezed his hand tighter.
"Please don't leave me like this." I inhaled the catarrh in my nose. "There are still so many things I want to say to you. So many things I want to do to you."
I exhaled and shut my eyes. Please God, don't let him die. I may have survived without Mama but I wouldn't survive without Hamid. You knew he was the moon in my plain dark sky. If he is not here, then the night wouldn't be the same.
I opened my eyes and stared down at our sterling rings. He still had his own in his finger and I still had my own on mine. But something told me that it was time to let go. That the 'forever' he promised us might just end here.
I removed my hands from his and pulled of the ring from my finger. It didn't take time like it used.
I held out the ring in front of me and stared at it one last time, saying goodbye to the 'key'. I looked down at Hamid's hand and held it up to slide the ring into his own finger. I slide it into his ring finger and allowed it to rest on top of his own ring.
I slightly rubbed my thumb on both rings together, admiring how well they both fit into his finger. I sighed and looked up to stare outside the window in front of Hamid's bed.
It was almost sunset time and I watched as many birds flew in the sky, reminding me of something.
"Remember that bird thing you taught me the first few times we met?" I asked Hamid as if he could hear me, "About the gliding moment being the best part of a bird's life and the flapping was the struggle?"
He obviously didn't respond. I glanced down at him, feeling the last set of teardrop fall from my left eye. But that didn't mean the pain has left my chest. It just got worse.
"Hamid," My voice broke, "every single moment I spent with you was my gliding moment."
I didn't have any more tears left in me to cry but I was breathing heavily. It was so hard for me to be stable in a time like this. Thinking about what I just said made me realise how bad I really needed him to stay alive.
I was so ready to pour out everything in my heart. If that was the only way he would wake up.
"Please don't let it end." I begged him aimlessly, "Wake up and look for my trouble again. Pinch my cheeks again. Call me your Bread and burn all the toasts you want. Smile until your cheeks get tired. Just-"
The door swung open and I stood up immediately, letting Hamid's hand fall back to the bed.
I quickly wiped my eyes with the back of my hands before I turned around to see who it was.
It was General Abdulkareem.
He stood in front of the door with his red eyes locking with mine. He was so angry but I doubt I was the reason for his anger.
In fear, I broke the eye contact and greeted him while bending my knees. He didn't respond and this gave me the opportunity to walk out of the room before my head would be his next punching bag.
He shifted for me to leave and just as I was about to leave the door, he stopped me.
"Don't," He spoke, his voice sounding harsher than ever, "ever come back here again."
I didn't say anything but just walked away without wasting time. General shuts the door really hard behind me, causing me to stop walking and gasp in pain.
I rested my back against the wall beside Hamid's door and put my hands over my burning chest. I didn't even get to look at Hamid one last time. I didn't even get to say everything I wanted. Even till his worst day, General would never want me near him.
Was this life?
Suddenly, my phone started ringing in my gown pocket. I looked up at the ceiling and groaned. Who the hell is disturbing me on this dreadful day?
I removed my phone from my pocket and looked at the caller ID. It was an unknown number. I exhaled in frustration before answering it.
"Who's this?"
"Aunty! Aunty!" I heard an unfamiliar shaky voice over the phone.
Me? Aunty?
The person was breathing so heavily in my ear that I began to question if they called a wrong number.
"Who's this?" I asked again.
"It's me. Adamu from saint Margaret's motherless home." He talked really fast, not slowing down for a second, "The boy you gave your number to when you were about to leave."
I snapped my fingers when I recognised his voice. The useless guy that was supposed to keep me updated about Kauna. Before I could say something, what came out next was unexpected.
"Kauna is missing."
****
"How could you misplace her?!" I shouted at Adamu the moment I rushed inside the Saint Margaret's Motherless Home building.
After Adamu's phone call, I didn't waste time to leave the clinic. I didn't bother checking up on Kaka nor letting her know where I was going to. This was an emergency situation and I really needed it to be a joke.
Adamu shook his head unknowingly, "I-"
"Where are the Reverend Sisters?!" I shouted again while looking around the parlour.
Only a few of the children were sitting around and they all looked at me like I was a mad person. To be honest, I was running mad. After everything that happened last night up to Hamid, and now this?
"They've been in church since morning." Adamu replied, sounding more frustrated than I was.
I shook my head in disbelief. Did these women really care about these children at all?
"Are you sure about what you're saying? That Kauna is really missing?" I asked again.
"Yes, we searched everywhere. She was alone in the parlour with one of the small boys not long ago and-"
"And where is he? I'm sure he didn't go missing like her because you people don't even care about her."
Adamu did not respond this time. I looked at him, waiting for him to say something but his mouth was completely shut. He looked uncomfortable and glanced around at the little children that were watching us before he moved closer to me.
I took a step back and frowned at him in confusion, wondering why he couldn't say what he wanted to say out loud.
"Is he missing too or-"
"He is dead." He whispered.
I stared at him for a long time, trying to connect everything that he just said. I shook my head in disbelief but he nodded his head slowly, assuring me that he was telling me the truth. Ho- How?
He took me into their inner door and down to one of their bedrooms. A few of the little orphanage children were standing outside the door but they were not allowed inside. Adamu had to knock on the door and show his face before they allowed only both of us inside.
The room was smelling really bad and I had to cover my nose. About four of the older orphanage children were inside. Two were sitting beside a body covered in wrapper, one was sitting at a corner with her head buried under her elbows, and the other person was standing near the door.
They all looked distressed and I could feel their pain. Adamu led me to the little body that was lying on the floor with a wrapper covering it's whole body.
We both knelt down beside the body and the two older children beside the body didn't acknowledge our presence. It was like their minds were far away.
Adamu touched the hem of the wrapper and was about to open it when the older boy beside us held his wrist to stop him.
"You dey craze?" He pointed at his temple, "Who sent you?"
"She is related to Sarah and she needs to know what happened." Adamu replied to his rude gesture.
The boy glared at me, not trusting me. But he didn't look too concerned about me and just hissed before he stood up. The other girl beside us also stood up and they both left the room. They all looked fed up and I understood why they were acting like this.
"Don't mind them." Adamu said to me, "They're just angry."
I just nodded my head.
He touched the wrapper again, slowly this time. I could see his hands shaking as he touched the hem of the wrapper and I had a feeling he was too scared to do this.
"Just do this yourself." He stood up and turned around to back me.
I stretched out my hand to uncover the wrapper myself. I was scared too but I had seen so many dead bodies these past few months that-
Oh, God.
I covered his head back immediately and put my hands over my mouth in shock.
"Have you finished?" Adamu asked, trying not to look back.
I didn't answer him but just shifted away from the body. It was that little boy in crutches. The one that had cancer.
That wasn't the main problem.
Number 3.
There was number 3 drawn on the side of his neck. Not on his forehead or his tongue like the other children. It was right next to his sliced throat.
But that still meant that-
"The children killer came into the orphanage." Adamu said, finally turning around to look at me.
How did the killer find this place? Of all places? What made him come to an orphanage? Who was this person for goodness sake?!
We have to get him before it was too late. Just two more children to kill and he has succeeded. What if he was killing all the children for spiritual purpose and once he gets to the last child... he becomes untouchable.
"Did you see him?" I asked Adamu.
He shook his head.
"Nobody saw him." The girl sitting at the corner finally spoke up. She looked up at me with her drenched up fair face, "I was the first person to find his body while everybody was playing outside."
She paused, trying so hard to get the courage to talk.
"At first, I heard screaming from inside. It was Sarah's voice." She added, while referring to Kauna, "Nobody believed it was something serious and I decided to see for myself. And when I got inside, I saw blood everywhere with his throat sliced. His crutches were lying on the floor and-"
She broke down in tears and couldn't continue anymore. She was too devastated. I understood what she was going through. This was something that would never leave her head again.
"What she is trying to say is that," Adamu knelt down beside me, "the killer took Sara- I mean Kauna away. She was kidnapped."
I felt the world spinning around me. Kauna was kidnapped by the killer. What for? I don't know. He killed only boys. Now what was he going to do with a girl he has kidnapped?
I shut my eyes, trying so hard not to think of the worst. Trying not to imagine everything that has happened to Mama, happening to Kauna right now. It was not possible. I shook my head. Kauna didn't deserve this. Nobody did.
"Aunty," Adamu called my attention, while moving closer to me, "but what if Kauna is the killer?"
I shot him a glare, knowing that he should better move away before I knock senses into his head.
As if he read my mind, he looked back at me and took two steps backwards, zipping his mouth so that he wouldn't say something more stupid.
"We need to find Kauna." I said and stood up immediately. "The killer is about to do something really dangerous to her and we need to hurry before it's too late."
I headed for the door, not caring if they were going to follow me or not. But I could hear Adamu stand up as well and coming to walk behind me. As I unlocked the room door, something else came into my mind. Our proof.
"Where is the lollipop that the killer left behind?" I asked Adamu.
"Musa already licked it." The girl replied, referring to one of the little children.
"Enh?!" Adamu exclaimed in shock.
I didn't have time to argue about this nonsense and just walked out of the door. I needed to find Kauna before it was too late. As I was leaving the orphanage, the two Reverend Sisters rushed inside, not caring about who was around. I could tell they just got the message about one of their dead children.
Adamu and I went down to the police station to report about a missing Kauna. We told them about the children killer entering the orphanage and killing one of the children before he kidnapped Kauna. They didn't want to believe us because we didn't have the lollipop proof, since one of those children have decided to lick our only proof that it was the children killer that killed the crutches boy and not just anybody. And to make matters worse, they all kept demanding for money or else they won't help us.
But one of the police officer's that interviewed me this morning recognised me and was the only angel that decided to help us without asking for money. I told him that at the end of the day, it was not Mantis that was the killer. Mantis was dead and the killer was still alive.
We search almost every street in Mansur and didn't see any trace of Kauna or the killer. It was hard to search most places because there were military checkpoints at different corners of the town. They wouldn't let us pass some places because they were trying to protect us from the rioters that were still on the run.
After three hours passed and it was already very dark outside, the police officer and Adamu told me to give up. We couldn't find Kauna. I was fed up and so worried about her. The worst part about it was that they were right. It was too late. The killer would have already done whatever he wanted to do with Kauna.
After the police officer dropped me in front of the hospital, I thanked him before entering the hospital building.
I sat down in the reception area and rubbed my hands over my face. I was devastated. I was so devastated to the point that I couldn't feel my heart beat anymore. I couldn't feel anything anymore. Everything was just a mess right now and it was driving me crazy. What worse could happen again?
I glanced at the side to see two armed soldiers guarding Hamid's ward door. General Abdulkareem came out of the door and talked to the two men, instructing them about something.
After he was done, he looked away and caught me staring at him. He didn't bother to question about my presence as he just walked down the opposite direction, leaving the two soldiers to continue their job. I was very sure that he only brought them so that I wouldn't go anywhere near Hamid's ward.
I couldn't even be pressed about it anymore because I had so much on my plate right now. I knew that if Hamid ever woke up, the first person he would run to was me. And I really wish that day would come.
"I've had a very rough day." I whispered to myself in tiredness, "Right now, all I just need is Kaka's comfort."
She was the only hope I had left. Nothing else. I stood up from the reception chair and ran up the stairs to go to Kaka's ward. I entered the room and walked straight to Kaka's bedside... but she wasn't there.
"Congratulations, Miriam." I scoffed to myself, "Nobody wants your bad luck around them."
I sat on the bed and peeped into the opened bathroom door from the bed to check if she was inside, but nobody was there. Where was Kaka when I needed her now?
I glanced at the wall clock opposite Kaka's bed to see it was 8:30pm. I frowned in confusion. Did they move her to another room? I doubt because her stuffs were still here.
"You dropped this." I heard a voice behind me. I turned my head to see the same male nurse that showed me to this ward earlier today.
He held out one of their hospital gowns to me and added, "This fell from the bed. I think it was for that old woman that stays on this bed. She must have dropped it when she stepped out."
"Thank you." I collected it from him and looked at it, "It should be my grandmother's own."
He nodded and was about to leave but I had to stop him.
"How come her things are here but she is not here? Or did they move her to another room?" I asked.
"Ah no. She just changed from her hospital gown to her blouse and wrapper and went out not too long ago. She told- or let me say 'wrote down' to me that she was going back to her house to get something."
"Ohh." I nodded my head slowly. Maybe she was looking for me. Or she wanted to get some of her unburnt stuffs. I wished I had followed her.
The nurse didn't say anything more and just walked away to attend to the other patients around.
I folded Kaka's hospital gown and placed it at the corner of the bed. I glanced around the busy hospital ward, watching other patients with their family members. They all seemed so happy, especially the fact that they knew they were not going to pay their hospital bills.
I was happy for them too. But I felt something bother me inside. Loneliness. For a very long time I never focused on the fact that I never had a complete family around me, because Kaka never allowed the thought cross my mind. Even if she was not there, Kauna was there and Hamid too.
But now that none of them were here with me and I was just seeing everybody with their family just made me feel some sort of pain that I hadn't felt in a long time. The pain of knowing that I will never get to experience what they were experiencing. Not anytime soon.
I looked away from them before I break down one more time. Sleep was probably the only thing that could give me peace right now. I just needed to get away from this world's mess for at least few hours.
I pounced the back of my head on the pillow and immediately, I felt something sharp hit my neck.
I quickly sat back up and groaned while rubbing the back of my neck in pain. I stretched my hand under the pillow to bring out the stupid thing that wants to destroy my sleep.
I finally brought out the sharp nonsense and looked down at it.
It was a bunch of keys. Our house keys.
I stared at it in confusion and wondered what it was doing here. I knew Kaka carried her bible along with the house keys after we locked up our burning house. But, I thought the nurse just said she went back to the house to get some stuffs? Or did she forget it?
I picked up the keys and stood up to run after Kaka. I didn't even know which direction she took.
I saw the male nurse arranging one of the patients' bed not too far from Kaka's own and I quickly walked up to him to find out how long kaka left so that I would know if it was worth going after her.
"Sorry how long did you say my grandmother has been out for?" I asked while coming to stand beside him.
"Not too long. Maybe like... three or four hours." He said while trying to recall, "It wasn't dark by the time she left. I wonder why she isn't back yet."
"Three hours??" I asked in surprise and looked away.
This was not Kaka. How could she leave the hospital for that long when she knew the town wasn't safe?
"Was she alone when she left?" I asked the nurse.
He nodded, "She just silently walked out of the door, trying to leave without telling anyone until I stopped to ask her. It is my duty to make sure everyone here is safe."
"Three hours." I still repeated in disbelief while coming to look away from him. Three hours. Three hours. What did she go to do for three hours? She didn't even use the time to come back to collect the key.
"Madam, I hope all is well?" The nurse asked me as I stared into space.
"Three hours." I repeated to myself.
Let me calculate. About three hours ago, I left Kaka in the room to take some fresh air but instead, I went to Hamid's ward. After, I got a call from Adamu, he said Kauna was missing. And when I arrived the orphanage, he said that Kauna was missing not too long before he called me. Then after, we searched everywhere for Kauna but couldn't find her until I returned. And all these while, Kaka was not in the hospital. That only summed up to one thing.
I gasped and put my hands over my mouth in shock, letting the bunch of keys fall from my hand.
No. No way.
"No!" I shouted and shook my head in disbelief, "No! Stop it!"
"Madam-"
"Don't touch me!" I yanked my shoulders away from the nurse and fell to the ground. "No!!!"
"Madam, what happened?"
I began screaming on the floor like a mad woman. I couldn't even feel my body anymore.
"Somebody should call the doctor! Something is wrong with her!" One of the patient's shouted from their beds as everybody began to move away from me in fear.
The nurse stared at me in bewilderment and he began taking steps backwards so that he would run out to call a doctor.
"No!!! It's not true!" I pulled my hair to stop this madness from happening. "Kaka, no!!!"
The bathroom slippers. The orphanage. The dead west river. The bush near our house. Her sack bag. Her lack of presence at home. The riot. The poisoned food. My cousins' jeep breakdown. The court. The numbers on the forehead. The lollipops.
None of them made sense. But my mind was telling me something else. That I was crazy. And my craziness was the truth.
I was still screaming at the top of my lungs, looking around for any way to stop this craziness from going on in my head.
Some of the women rushed to my side to calm me down but I pushed them away aggressively. I didn't need anybody touching me now. Not when I could ever trust anybody again.
I saw more people coming to my side and I stood up immediately and ran out of the door. One of the doctors was rushing towards my side from the corridor with an injection in his hand. I knew that was for me but I didn't let him have it.
I pushed him away and began running down the stairs.
I heard footsteps running after me and I knew it was the doctor and some other people that were trying to hold me down so that they would stop my madness from happening. They wanted to force me to sleep and sleep wasn't what I needed. Not now.
I got to the reception and everybody around became alarmed by my rush.
"Hold her! Don't let her out of the door!" I heard the doctor shout to those in front of me. But I was already by the door.
A man came to block my front before I could leave the door. I tried to push him off but he was too strong.
I glanced behind me to see the doctor getting closer with the injection in his hand and I cried out for the man to move from my front. As the doctor got close to me and was about to inject the injection on my neck, I quickly bent down to pass under the man's opened legs and crawled out of the hospital door.
I stood up and continue running as fast as I could. The men followed me down to the road side and a few cars were passing by. One almost hit me. I wish it did. God, please just let me die. I don't deserve to still be here.
I stood in the middle of the road, allowing the cars to pass me by. Most of them had to swerve so that they would not hit me. Everybody on the road was watching my madness. But nobody wanted to kill me.
The doctor and the other men from the clinic were getting closer and none of the cars wanted to hit me. If they didn't want to kill me, at least let me get out of here. I stood directly in front of a keke-na-pep that came to a sudden stop because of me.
"Please get me out of here fast! Those men want to kidnap me!" I lied to the driver while entering the back of the keke.
He saw how desperate I was for help and he didn't waste time to start moving. The hospital men were already at the side of the keke when it started moving. They shouted at the driver to stop but he refused to listen and he sped faster. One of the men even stretched his hands inside the keke to pull me out but I kicked it away.
The keke took a quick turn at the nearest junction, making it impossible for the men to catch up. Most of them had fallen down in the middle of the junction because they didn't expect his turn.
I looked back at the men as the keke drove farther away. They all stopped running and eventually gave up on chasing me. They knew it was a waste to go after me when I didn't need their help.
I turned around and held my hands to my chest as I breathed heavily at the back of the keke-na-pep. I began coughing really bad and I knew I had already lost half of my voice after all that screaming in the hospital.
"Where I go take you now?" The keke driver asked me anxiously.
I allowed my cough to die down before I gave him my house address. Since God did not allow me to die, I knew I had to do something. I knew I had the key to end everything; the riot, Abbas Hassan's arrest and the last two killings.
I just had to find Kaka.
As much as I didn't want to believe it, I knew she was the one with Kauna. The one that started all these madness.
If only I ever knew... that the enemy was closer than I thought.
*****
The keke driver dropped me off along the main road of my street because our road was very bad. He told me not to worry about paying him because he knew I was in danger and didn't have money on me. Another miracle of today. Because no other keke driver would have let me get away without paying at least 1 kobo.
I came down and looked around the whole street in front of me. I couldn't feel my body anymore because I was in deep shock. The rioters had turn our whole street into a dystopia.
Everywhere was dark. Everywhere was destroyed. Even the street lights were broken.
I walked down to my house, thinking of what I was going to say or do to Kaka. The keke ride gave me time to calm down after the 'show' I just gave in front of everyone in the hospital. I wonder if I would ever go back there.
In less than a minute, I finally came to a stop directly in front of my house gate.
"Okay Miriam, this is it. Whatever happens here is all up to your head." I whispered to myself while placing my hands on the gate door, "Don't let your heart speak, let your head think. This is not a matter of family anymore."
I inhaled deeply before I pushed the gate door. But it was locked.
I frowned in confusion and pushed it again, trying to make either the gate or the gate door open. But they refused to open. I searched my gown pockets for the house keys, only for me to realize I left them on the hospital floor.
I groaned and banged my forehead against the gate door. Miriam why? Always making a fool of yourself for nothing.
I did not even get why Kaka would lock the house gate when more than half of the house was burnt down.
"Kaka!" I knocked on the gate door, hoping she would hear me from inside.
I continue knocking and standing there for almost three minutes but there was no response. Where was she then?
I sighed and turned around to rest my back against the gate door. What was I going to do now? Where was I going to find her? What was I going to do when I find her? I couldn't kill her. She was my grandmother.
My heart began to ache at the thought of it. My grandmother? The killer in our town?
I wrapped my hands around my body and shook my head. Why was it so hard for me to believe this? I always knew that the killer could be anybody but why did it have to be Kaka. The only family I had left.
I shut my eyes and exhaled sharply, trying to control myself from crying for the hundredth time today. I just needed to find out why Kaka did this and then I can die in peace. There was nothing to hope for anymore.
Suddenly, I heard a low creaking noise ahead of me, causing me to snap my eyes open. Somebody was here.
The noise kept going on and it sounded like a door. Or a gate. I glanced around to see where the sound was coming from until my eyes stopped directly in front of Mr Audu's house gate.
His gate door was open.
I stared at it in surprise because I couldn't remember the last time I saw the house gate open ever since Mr Audu and inna Hauwa passed away.
Kaka must have found a way to break into the house since she forgot our house keys in the hospital. How smart of her.
I began taking few steps towards the gate door without taking my eyes off it. The gate door kept moving back and forth with the wind, causing the creaking noise to continue.
I stopped directly outside the gate door once I got there. I glance around Mr Audu's house compound and noticed it was not burnt down like most of the houses on the street. It just had a few broken windows and I believed the rioters did not want to waste their time to tamper with this house because of the the To Let sign that was still hanging outside their gate.
I took a bold step and entered inside the house compound while looking around.
"Kaka?" I called.
Miriam, don't be stupid. Do you really think she will gladly answer you? She doesn't know you're here.
I took little steps inside the compound and stopped halfway, knowing this was not a good idea. Wouldn't it be better if I pretended not to know that she was the killer? And what if she wasn't even here in the first place?
I began doubting myself for coming here. I knew I had to leave or else something terrible will happen when she sees me.
I turned around and was about to leave when I stepped on something soft, almost giving me a heart attack. I rose my leg up to see a little green slippers lying on the floor. It was Kauna's slippers.
"They're here."
Just leave.
"But Kauna." I argued with myself.
It would be very selfish of me to just leave her here like that after she just witnessed something horrible back at the orphanage. I knew she would be in deep pains right now.
If you don't save her Miriam, nobody else will.
I hated myself for thinking this way but I knew I had to do the right thing. I turned around and walked up to the front door of the house, trying my best not to make a single sound.
I held the door handle and gently bent it down to open it, but it refused to open.
I sighed in frustration. It was locked. But they still had their back door.
I jogged towards the backdoor carefully and tried my luck. I touched the handle and the moment I bent it, the door opened.
Okay, this was it.
I opened it wider and gently entered the house. It was so dark and I could barely see anything. I reached for my phone in my gown pocket and turned on the torchlight of my phone.
I rose it up and allowed the light to illuminate the room. I glanced around to see it was an empty space. I remember the last time I came here, this was their kitchen.
I began to walk inside slowly, flashing my light around so that I would watch out for Kaka or Kauna around. I began coughing because of the dusty smell of the house. It was really bad because nobody has been in here for months.
I covered my nose and walked down into the little corridor between the kitchen and the parlor. I had to use my memory of the last time I was here to find my way around or else I would be lost.
I took little steps closer to the parlor, pulling the curtain away from the doorway of the parlor.
As I entered and flashed my torchlight into parlor, the first thing I saw was Kauna lying flat in the middle of the parlor ground.
I gasped and rushed to her side. I dropped my phone inside my pocket and knelt down to touch her body.
"Kauna." I whispered. "I'm here."
She didn't move but just stayed there. Oh no, was she dead? I glanced around her in worry but I didn't see any sign of blood or mark on her skin.
I bent down to bring my ear close to her nose to check if she was still breathing. Thankfully, she was. She must be unconscious or something. I needed to be fast and get her out of here so that I could take her to the hospital.
I stretched my hands under Kauna's body to carry her out and just as I was about to lift her up... The parlor lights came on.
Before I could turn around to see who turned on the lights, I felt something hard hit the back of my head, causing me to fall to the ground in front of Kauna.
I held the back of my head and began to cry in pain on the ground. I heard footsteps coming to stand in front of me, causing me to shake more.
"Please don't kill me, Kaka." I begged her.
She stood in front of me without saying anything. I refused to look up at her because I was so ashamed. Ashamed that someone I have loved for years was doing this to me.
She threw the torchlight from her hand in front of me, making a loud thud. I felt my body freeze in fear and I began to whimper. I really wanted her to know that I was not here to do any harm but I just couldn't bring the words out of my mouth.
She wasn't saying anything neither was she doing anything. She was just standing there and this scared me more.
I slowly tilted my head to look in front of me. My eyes trailed to the first thing in front of me. It was a pair of feminine legs wearing different legs of slippers. Just as I had expected.
I could see the bottom of her wrapper near those feet, giving me more clarity of who it was.
I began looking up in fear to see her expression. My eyes were a bit blurry because of the tears formed around them. But the more I looked up, the more the tears flowed down from my eyes and the clearer I could see.
As I looked up, I caught a glimpse of her hand. And I stopped there. It was true. Her wrists had it. The dotted scar. They were there!
My eyes widened in shock and I looked up at her face.
This moment was one of the most dreadful moments of my life. One that I would never forget. Because I knew I was gazing upon the one that started it all. The real enemy we've all been hiding from. The real culprit. Every parent's worst nightmare. All the children's biggest fear. The real lollipop monster. The key to all of Mansur's madness. The real children killer.
And it wasn't Kaka.
It was inna Hauwa.
__________________
END OF CHAPTER 42