WARNING AND DISCLAIMER: THIS STORY WILL TRIGGER YOU OR MAKE YOU CRINGE IN THE BEGINNING..it'll get better I hope. It's not going to be perfect but it'll get my point across. You will probably hate Vinny, then love Jahseh , then love Vinny and hate Jahseh and in the end you'll hate them both 😘😩ENJOY .
vinny patina
"Ah fuck" I cursed as the lighter danced on my skin , I always thought of it as a sweet peppery kiss as my skin turned a bright red. I keep coming to these this parties knowing it's a bad idea but I decide to sneak out and show up anyway...I been here for about thirty minutes adding what I like to call art to my body. I really shouldn't have come because my best friend , my only friend just got back together with her boyfriend and basically ditched me.
I rolled my sleeves back looking at the two years of scars and burns as I ran my thumb over them and hissing at the recent one that still hurt like a mother fucker. I pulled my hair back as I put my sleeve all the way back down as I walked out the bathroom where there was a line as everyone glared at me. I walked downstairs throwing my hoodie over my head as I scanned the room for Cedric , interrupting her make out session I pulled them apart sitting in the middle.
"Eli"
"Nutcase"
I didn't really like Elijah , he was a possessive douche also aggressive. Since he saw me one day playing an intense knife game he's been calling me nutcase , I didn't like or dislike the nickname...I think he's scared of me , but who isn't? I'm surprise the church I go to don't throw bibles and oils at me since I'm corrupt by Satan himself, so they gossip.
"What have you been doing in the bathroom so long?" Cedric asked as I smiled as she snatched my arm as I snatched away from her.
"One day your going to kill your self, that cutting shit is dangerous" Cedric snapped as I put my index finger under her chin.
"Baby if I wanted results I would cut horizontal plus you know I only cut at home" I joked winking as she smacked my hand an glared at me as I stood up stretching.
"That's not funny"
"Oh but it is, are you taking me home or what?" I asked sitting on her lap as I wrapped my arms around her laying my head on top of hers basically straddling her as she sighed.
"Obviously" She said looking at Elijah as I did to with a smile , as he smacked his lips.
"I'm not giving you and the spawn of Satan my keys"
"Then are you going to drop her?"
"So she can use me as a human sacrifice? Hell no"
"Was that suppose to be funny? Forget this bitch let's just take the bus" I snapped getting off of Cedric lap as Cedric got up but Eli grabbed her arm. I rolled my eyes smacking his arm as he stood up , Cedric always being peacemaker between us stood in the middle. I was over this though I needed to go home and right now she looked like she was planning on staying here.
"Look you have five seconds to decide" I mumbled impatiently , I had to get home soon the only reason why i snuck out to this shit is because Cedric asked me to come along...She goes on and on about me needing to get out more and me locking myself up in my room only makes me worse but then she goes and ditches me like I have friends other then her.
"Vinny-"
"Fucking save it, I hope he breaks your jaw again"
Bumping past her I moved through the crowded scene ignoring her efforts to call me back. Fuck her. I walked out the building making it downstairs as I checked my phone like twenty miss calls from my parents and little brother. I threw my hoodie over my head and walked to the nearest bus stop in the direction of where I lived. I sat at the bus stop as I watched Jahseh drink on his porch , he didn't have a shirt on. Only some black shorts with a chain around his neck just staring off into space.
Lonely much?
I was sixteen and he was eighteen but I still heard stories about him. They said he came from Miami Florida for beating his teacher to the point where he couldn't see, some people say he's insane and who I call his stans say he's just sad and misunderstood. I didn't care what he did or didn't do I just know I have a crush on him, he was the inspiration for me dying my hair this way.
When I first met him , I was fourteen and he completely ignored me which resulted in me going home and cutting my self..
just kidding..not really.
When I was younger I never really liked my self , I didn't hate myself either but adding these scars and burns just gave me my own little twisted sense of "beauty"...if girls can cake on makeup and plastic surgery why can't I do what also makes me happy? My mom falls out into a fake ass cry and my step-dad just yells at me the only person I think truly cares is my little brother and Cedric..on a good day.
"Jahseh!" I exclaimed as he looked up at me as I crossed the street over to his gate, his face was straight and mysterious but I could tell deep down he wanted to sit and talk to me.
"Go home,kid" Okayyy maybe he did really want me to go home but it didn't mean I had to listen..I think he was still mad about me sending him a picture of me slitting my wrist then saying Isn't this better then nudes? But, that was last year an I was high off ecstasy and looking for attention.
"I guess were both lone wolves?" I mumbled staring at him , if it wasn't so dark he could of seen me drooling but why would someone like him? Want someone like me? The cruel things I've done over the years hasn't gotten his attention maybe I'm just that damn ugly.
"Your parents are probably worried, go home"
"Not in the slightest" I struggled to get out as I hopped over his gate and trudged through his yard as I sat on the last step.
"You got to stop-"
"I'm sorry about the picture I was high and it wasn't weed-
"Explain the nudes , also the text messages , dm's and many more" Jahseh said as I smiled.
"Persistence-"
"Annoying..-" Jahseh snatched up my arm as I winced as he pulled down my sleeve pointing at my cuts and burns. "This isn't funny,and it surely isn't something to be fucking proud of your prancing around making jokes about hurting yourself you understand how-
He cut himself off finally letting go of my wrist, he was mad at me and squeezing my wrist but I didn't want him to stop that was the most attention I got from him in years..most attention I got from anyone with real emotion.
"Like I said go home" He mumbled snatching up his bottle and walking in his house slamming the front door. I sighed walking away hopping his gate yet again as I went back over to the bus stop as I waited for the bus.
I just knew I was in loads of trouble..My step dad and mom threatened me and said if I was to cut myself one more time that I would be put into a at risk teen facility and the only thing I would be allowed to do is go home,school,facility. It didn't phase me I took shit like that like a joke. Just a bunch of fucking dramatics talking about how "hard" life is and how "depressed" they are like seriously? Then the ones I hate the most "oh I wanna commit suicide..."
Do it.
How about you stop telling people ,go in private corner and do it. Stop attempting and actually kill your self since you have nothing to live for. I knew I didn't want to kill myself but I didn't know what i was exactly living for maybe through my pain I wanted to hurt others the fact that every time I cut myself my mom cries, my stepdad yells and my brother worries..
Made me feel not particularly good but not bad either but it made me feel something other then when that cold steel digs deep in my skin enough for my blood to go pouring out. I did that for real thrill it was my thing but only in my house , it was far to messy and tedious.
"Where have you been young lady?" I brushed passed my mom and went up to my room as I lied down.
"Didn't you hear me" Mom yelled busting through my door as I shrugged. The good mother act was completely draining she only does that cause she's so called religious and does not want me killing myself cause it'll look bad on her.
"Go ahead ignore me but your not giving us a choice-"
"Get out" I said simply as she stood in my doorway as I laughed. I grabbed my handy dandy blade as I looked at her as she gasped and held her chest.
"Are you threatening me?!" She snapped angrily as her face wrinkled and forehead knotted, all the anger left her face when I pressed the blade firmly to my neck hard enough I knew it'll leave a scar. "Get.Out" I said slower as she shook her head with tears in her eyes.
"Awww is mommy scared? Do you not like this sight?" I teased as she shook her head and walked out slamming the door as I laughed falling on my back as I kicked my feet up ,spinning the tip of the knife on my index finger.
I grabbed my phone and saw I had two messages from Cedric, rolling my eyes I opened them. She had been pissing me off lately so I quickly changed her contact name.
StOOPID WHORE 🤢 sent 11:30pm: Babes I'm sorry 😩 you know how Eli is I tried to run after you but I didn't see you anywhere,are you okay?
I'm sorry honestly , can you forgive me?
I shook my head I was out there for a good twenty minutes if she really "ran" after me like she say she did she would of saw me. Not only did she leave me but this bitch lying. I turned on my light ring around my phone as I took a picture making sure to show my neck as I touched it.
(Picture sent) No.
StOOPID WHORE 🤢 sent 12:01:
please don't , Vinny your going to make me cry..I said I was sorry and you doing that to make me feel worse then I already do is fucked up. Why the fuck do you always do that? What the fuck is wrong with you? You really have me worried and feeling shitty.
Good, I replied and with that I shut off my phone as I touched my burning and stinging neck I was to tired to even properly take care of that so fuck it. I could already see me staying in the rest of the day tomorrow , because going to church and get looked at like I have 666 imprinted on my forehead was a big fat no. I looked up at my ceiling as my mind went over today it was a shitty day only thing that made that party worthwhile was seeing Jahseh, mysterious , badass , tatted..Jahseh.
If I was ever going to have a chance I was going to have to keep on persisting I use to think he ignored those messages or signs I use to get his attention but the fact that he knows and reads them gives me the motivation to continue. I didn't care if I was crazy I wanted someone I could depend other then Cedric whore ass , I wanted someone I can love or love me.. and I wanted that person to be Jahseh.
OOF..the cringe and trigger ness I love it 🤤🤗 I'm telling you it'll get better guys give me a chance..damn.
SPAMM HATE COMMENTS OR LOVE COMMENTS I ACCEPT ALL 😭
What y'all think?
Vinny? Do y'all feel triggered by her? If not then I failed and this book got to be 100% more fucked up.
On another note..
It's 3:30 right now and I have to get up at 5:00 to catch the public bus for school so appreciate the effort and editing I put into this and don't be dry.