(Skip 2 weeks)
Today's our last show in the United States and then we're going to Canada! My phone dinged from a text message and I opened it.
Brina💘: We need to talk, but not over text.
Y/N: Did I do something?
Brina💘: No, but I just need to talk to you.
Y/N: What's going on?
Brina💘: There something really important that we need to discuss. You're probably not going to be too happy with me, but I need you to hear me out.
Y/N: Okay. When?
Brina: Tonight after your show. I'll meet you at the tour bus.
Y/N: K. ILY
Brina💘: ILYSM BB
"Good afternoon Shawn. Nice to see that you decided to get up out of bed." I joked and he threw a pillow at me playfully. I laughed and looked back at my phone. My mind couldn't stop wondering to what Sabrina had said.
"Hey, can I ask you a question?" I asked and he nodded. "When someone says we need to talk, what does that mean?"
"When people say we need to talk, it usually means that they want to break up with someone. It could also mean that that person needs to talk to you. Why? Did Sabrina said that you two need to talk?" He asked.
I sighed. "Yeah, and I don't think she meant it in a casual way. She said that we need to talk in person and that I might be upset with her. I really don't know on what to think about what she said. I'm just a little scared to talk to her tonight."
"Well don't be. I'm sure that it'll be okay between you two." He said. "Okay. Thanks." I said.
...
"You wanted to talk?" I asked the blonde girl who was currently fiddling with her fingers. Right now we're in the tour bus, but we kicked the boys out because they were being nosy.
"Yeah I did." Sabrina said.
"Y/N you know I love you right?" She asked, her blue eyes looking at me.
"Yes. Why?" I asked and she got up and started pacing across the floor. I started to get worried. "You're scaring me."
"Y/N I think that we need to take a break from dating." She said and I bit my lip, trying to control my emotions.
"Okay." I said, trying to keep my voice normal.
"I promise it's for the best and we're just taking a break, not breaking up. Do you understand that?" She said, grabbing onto my hand.
"Yeah I understand." I said quietly.
"I love you so much, don't forget. I just need to figure something out. I need to go. Be safe on tour and I'll see you when you get back. Bye Y/N." She said, getting up and leaving. I went to my bunk and closed the curtain and turned off the light.
"Y/N, are you okay?" Shawn asked.
"Yeah I'm just fine." I said.
"The boys and I are going out on a donut run. Do you want to come?" He asked.
"No thanks. Maybe another time." I kindly declined.
"Okay Y/N. Feel better." He said. Once he left I let out all of the emotions that I was holding back. I started letting out chocked sobs and I cried for most of that night.
...
"Wow, you do not look good." Shawn said when I went to the small living room.
"Thank you so much. Exactly what a girl likes to hear." I said sarcastically and he put his hands up in surrender.
"Were you crying all night?" One of the boys asked and I shrugged. "Probably. Last night was a blur." I said.
"Guys we only have 20 minutes to get to the airport." the bus driver said and then he started driving.
"I'm all ready to go." I said, sitting down on the couch.
"As am I. Let's talk." Shawn said, sitting down next to me.
"Sure. What do you want to talk about?"
"What did Sabrina want to talk about last night?" He asked.
"She just said that she thought that we should break take a break, and so we did." The sentence hurt more than I let it show.
"I'm sorry Y/N." He apologized and patted my shoulder.
"Don't be. It's not your fault." I said.
"You know taking a break, isn't the same as breaking up." Shawn said. "What's the difference?" I asked.
"When you break up, it's ending the relationship completely with no intention on getting back together. Taking a break is just pausing the relationship, which implies that she still cares about it and about you." He explained. I felt a little bit better, but not that much.
"She said, before she came over here last night, that she needed me to hear her out. Though, she never explained why exactly she wanted to take a break."
Maybe she just got tired of having to deal with me. Was a thought that crossed my mind. Maybe she didn't want to explain because she didn't to hurt your feelings. All negative thoughts started swarming in.
"Y/N!" Shawn exclaimed.
"What?" I asked and looked at him to see he had shock written on his face.
"What?" I asked again.
"Do you seriously don't know what you were doing?" He asked.
"No. What was it?"
"You kept clawing roughly at your arm for like 5 minutes and your skin started turning red. You didn't realize that?" He asked. I looked at my arms and I saw red scars appearing on my arms.
"No. I'm sorry." I apologized.
"Do you do that often?" He asked, quizzically.
I shook my head no. "No, but don't tell anyone about this. I really don't need anyone worrying about me." I said, getting up. He grabbed onto my wrist when I was trying to walk away.
"What is it?" I asked, turning around to face him.
"Are you okay?"
I nodded. "Yeah. I swear I was just doing that unconsciously and it wasn't intentional. I'm sorry if I scared you." I said.
(Skip a couple hours to 6pm)
"Hello Toronto!" I yelled getting up on stage. The crowd started getting louder.
(Your outfit)
"So I guess I don't even have to ask if you're ready." I chuckled. "How are you guys?" I heard a series of goods and greats. "That's great guys. We'll let us get this party started." I said and the music started.
...
I was bouncing a ball against the wall, finding some sort of calmness. I saw Shawn leaning against the door frame. "Still thinking about Sabrina?" Shawn asked and I nodded. "Yeah and overthinking pretty much everything."
"It's a break Y/N not a breakup. She still loves you."
How do you know?
"Anyone could tell that she's madly in love with you and can tell that you feel the same way towards her." The tall boy said and sat down next to me.
"I asked that out loud, didn't I?" I asked, catching the ball and holding onto it.
"Yeah you did." He said.
"Now do you want to talk about what happened earlier today?" I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. "You scratching at your arm." He reminded me.
I shook my head. "No not really. It was an unconscious thing."
He hesitated before he asked another question. "Have you ever hurt yourself?"
"Why is this even a question?" I asked.
"I'm just curious about it, because there have been stories about people seeing cuts on your arms and they think that you're hurting yourself. I wanted to make sure you were okay."
I sighed. "Yes I'm okay. People believe what they want to believe."
"You didn't answer the question." Shawn said.
"It doesn't matter what happened and didn't happen is in the past. It's really none of your business. Don't worry about it." I said, a bit harsher than intended.
"Sorry. I'm just trying to be your friend." He said.
"I know and I'm sorry. My past isn't that easy to talk about to anyone really. The only reason that Sabrina knows about it is that she found out and not in a pleasant way."
"Tell me." He said.
"Huh?"
"Tell me what happened in your life. I know that we don't know each other very well, but I want to get to know you. As friends. I won't tell anybody about anything I promise." I told him my full story, leaving out the recent things and things that I don't want to talk about.
"Wow so your dad left, you got bullied for most of your life, Sabrina and Rowan stopped talking to you, you started dating Sabrina, you broke up and then she started dating Rowan, and then them two broke up and you and Sabrina got together and then now you two are taking a break." I nodded my head.
"Okay then." He said and we laughed.
"PIZZA!" Someone yelled, catching our attention. We left the room and saw them each getting a piece of pizza.
"What were you two doing in there for an hour?" The guitarist, Christine, asked while wiggling her eyebrows.
"Nothing like that." I said, taking a slice of pizza. "We were just talking."
"About what?"
"We were just talking about music and maybe writing a song together." He covered up for me.
"Yeah. We were going to name it Blue Water." I added. They seemed to have bought it and we ate and went to sleep.