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Peter had no clue how, when, or where he'd managed to lose his younger brother. All he knew was that when he'd entered the train station, Edmund had been by his side, and now he decidedly wasn't. Brilliant. They hadn't even made it to school yet, and Peter had already lost one of his siblings. How was he supposed to protect them if they couldn't even stick together in a train station? Lucy and Susan had vanished off somewhere, likely shopping, and as the time was ticking further towards the time their train was meant to leave, Peter's blood pressure was rising. It was just like herding cats, dealing with his siblings.
The crowd of people in the train station was growing steadily by the minute, the different colours of uniforms (all of them were still ugly, but at least there was variation) forming a hideous rainbow. Peter was glad in that moment that he was tall, because he could scan over the heads of the gathered crowd to try and spot any sign of his brother. Still, all his searching provided no results. Where could he possibly have gone?
Peter wished Phoebe were there, something he'd caught himself doing far too many times recently. She could calm him down, balance him out, and he knew that his siblings would listen to her, even if they wouldn't listen to him. Peter reached up a hand, pushing his hair off his forehead. The train ride to school had always been stressful, but at least he could usually relax when they made it to the station. However, his siblings seemed determined to eliminate that possibility.
Sighing in defeat, Peter turned to walk up the stairs which led out of the station. Maybe his brother had felt a sudden need for fresh air - Peter knew he needed some right about now too. Still, trying to walk up the stairs was difficult, as the flow of people was generally moving in the opposite direction. Perhaps Peter could just go home, pretend he'd missed the train, and not go to school this year. It certainly seemed like a much more pleasant alternative.
"Oi, Pevensie!" Peter turned around from where he stood on the landing at the sound of the familiar nickname. His friends had started calling him by his last name the year Edmund had moved to the school, solely for the purpose of confusing his younger brother. It occurred to Peter now that it was rather a cruel thing, but he simply couldn't be bothered to tell them to stop, not when he'd been an insecure eleven-year-old who would do anything to be included. "Peter!" Peter blinked, starting himself out of his own thoughts.
"Carter!" James Carter was one of Peter's closest friends. After all, they'd both been shipped off to boarding school aged nine, and they'd been in each other's dormitory every year since - they kind of had to be friends. "It's been a while, mate." Peter's voice took on a nonchalant tone, trying to hide just how worried he was about his siblings. The other boy stepped up onto the landing, cracking a smile at Peter. The traffic down the stairs was passing around them now. Peter and James were important, and those other kids knew it.
"How'd it go up in the countryside?" Peter shrugged. It wasn't as though he could get through the story in a few brief sentences. What would he even say - that they got carried away to some magical land through a wardrobe? James almost certainly wouldn't believe that. "Fair enough. Countryside's not all it's cracked up to be, I'll tell you that." James' voice was light. Peter recognised that voice. James knew something, or at least he was trying to play it off like he didn't. Still, Peter chuckled a little.
"Go anywhere interesting in the holidays? Your dad still out there? Your brother?" James raised his shoulders a little, nodding. Their dads had both signed up for the War when it had first started, but unlike Peter, James' brother had gone too. He'd lied about his age to get in, heading off to chase some illusion of glory and grandeur. Peter had comforted James through far too many difficult weeks. After all, Peter had known James' brother - he'd been going up into sixth form the same year Peter and James had started school. In the back of his mind, Peter found it sad that James' brother wouldn't ever finish school. Maybe James wouldn't ever see his brother again. The future wasn't exactly bright for either boy.
"Just the same. Barely any letters. Taking care of mum. All that." James' shoulders had slumped over slightly, but Peter shot him a small smile as he met his eyes. James never really enjoyed talking about his brother or his father, and Peter understood why. Peter and James were in the same situation now, being thrust into the position of the man of the house. At least James didn't have three younger siblings to take care of. "Hey, at least I'm off to school now. Get to have a bit of a break." He laughed a little, although Peter suspected it likely wasn't a humorous laugh.
"How'd your exams go? Did you have to take them again this year?" James had always been at Hendon House on a scholarship, and Peter had helped him study for many sleepless nights, just so that he could come back the next year. Now that his dad was gone it was even harder. The other boy nodded, shrugging.
"Could've been worse." Peter nodded sympathetically. He supposed he was lucky, in some sense of the word - his family weren't wealthy, but they were comfortable. That was more than many of his friends could say. "You know, I actually met a girl there. She seemed nice." Peter looked over at his friend, raising his eyebrows. Neither one of them had been particularly girl crazy - or at least he hadn't until he met Phoebe. If someone had turned James' head, she must have been something special.
"Oh yeah?" James laughed a little, nodding along, and Peter smiled at him. "Good for you, mate." Peter's smile faded a little, his own memories of Phoebe resurfacing. he couldn't help but feel as though he was doing something wrong, laughing and joking like this, but he knew that if she were still around, she would've wanted him to be happy. At least, that was what he hoped she would want. Still, there was no use thinking about all that now. Phoebe was gone, and he'd had sixteen years to accept it, or try to.
"She said she knew you, actually. I told her I wouldn't tell you, but I figured if you know her, might as well see if she's nice." Peter furrowed his brow. If he was honest, the only real experience he'd had with a girl his age had been with Phoebe. Before that, he'd mostly kept to himself and his group of friends, whether that was according to societal stereotypes or not. Peter wracked his mind for any other girl his age who he knew.
"Really? Must've not known her well. Can't remember her." A momentary look of confusion crossed James' face, and Peter wondered why. Maybe James was leaving out some part of the story. Either way, it wasn't Peter's fault he couldn't remember this mystery girl. He'd never really been all too strong in the area of memory - his school marks could attest to that.
"Can't believe you don't. Besides, she's still wearing your ring around her neck. Don't know what that means to you, though." Peter could've sworn the world froze. No. That wasn't possible, there had to be some other girl who had a ring necklace. It literally wasn't possible. The noise of the train station and all the people in it seemed to fade away, and all Peter could hear was his own heart. "You look like you've seen a ghost, mate. You alright? She said you fell out. Must've been bad to get even you to shut up." James chuckled, but Peter was struggling to find any sort of humour in the situation. He didn't know what sort of sick game James was playing here.
"That's not possible, Carter. You can't've seen her." Peter's voice was quiet, subdued, but he couldn't help but let it tremble slightly with anger. What was James playing at, bringing her up? He didn't even know her. It just wasn't possible. James couldn't be talking about Phoebe.
"I know what I saw, Pete. She said she knew you, knew Ed and Susan and everything." The ringing in Peter's ears threatened to drown out every other sound in the station. No. There was no way. He couldn't believe it. He'd spent sixteen years trying to forget her. Whatever this was, it was some stupid, twisted joke.
"It's not possible, James. Just drop it." The anger in Peter's voice was evident, and James picked up on it now, crossing his arms over his chest, raising an eyebrow at Peter. They'd fought before, as boys, but this was different. Peter was angry, but James was angry too. He'd never liked being told that he was wrong, even though he absolutely was wrong.
"Oh yeah? Impossible? What is it, Pete, you worried she'll like me more than you? Whatever will you do, Pevensie? Shame Phoebe clearly doesn't like you anymore." Peter didn't know what was worse, the use of her name, or the expression on James' face. Whatever it was, Peter didn't know how to control his anger as it bubbled over the top, the ringing in his ears blocking out anything else. His vision was almost clouded, and he was seeing red in every sense of the word.
Before Peter even really knew what he was doing, his fist had made contact with James' face, and James was clutching at his nose. There was a different look to his eyes now, and James looked about as angry as Peter felt. At that moment, Peter had enough common sense to be scared, but he was in too deep now. The next thing he knew, his head was reeling back, and he was falling backwards. His back hit the floor with a sudden jolt, and then his arms were up, just trying to defend himself. A faint sound of shouting and footsteps came from somewhere around him, but Peter couldn't pinpoint where. The fight couldn't have lasted long, because before he knew it James was being pulled off of him, and Peter was shaking his head around, trying to clear the fog from his mind.
He met James' eyes briefly as he himself was pulled upwards, his arms being pulled to either side. Somehow, the other boy still managed to seem composed as he wiped the blood off of his lip. Peter knew that he must've started bleeding at some point too because he could taste it in his mouth. He looked to either side of him to see his siblings holding him back, and Peter felt a wave of shame cross over him. It was Lucy's first proper experience of school, and Peter had gone and punched someone. He really wasn't amazing at this whole role model thing.
It wasn't as though Peter could tell his siblings the reason behind why the fight had broken out. What was he going to say - one of his best mates (well, not anymore) claimed to have seen their dead friend? As if they'd believe that. Edmund seemed to be busy, and Peter noticed that he looked roughed up just as much as he did. Had Edmund joined the fight after him? Peter honestly couldn't say.
"You didn't need to do that. I had it sorted, Ed." His brother scoffed, shaking his head. Peter's sister let go of his arms then, and Peter rolled out his shoulders as the flow of people down the stairs began again. Peter and his siblings walked down onto the platform, finding a more secluded place to wait for the train.
"What happened this time, Peter? What did you hit him for?" Susan's voice had an exasperated tone. It was the same voice Peter had heard far too many times this past year. It made him feel like some scolded child.
"He bumped me. And then he tried to make me apologise for it. That's why I hit him. I had it covered, Susan. Don't worry." His sister sighed, clearly still frustrated by his actions. "Aren't you ever sick of being treated like kids, Susan? How much longer does he expect us to wait? Christ." Peter pushed his hair off his forehead, sinking down onto a nearby bench and leaning back against the wall. His thoughts were still racing about what James had said, but that was his burden and his alone.
"Peter, we live here now. And we are kids, you need to remember that. We aren't kings and queens anymore, Pete. Just accept it and move on." His sister sank down onto the bench next to him until both of them were sitting there in silence, their younger siblings simply watching on.
"We'll go back someday, Peter. Aslan promised." Lucy's voice was so hopeful, so sure of the words the great lion had told them. At that moment, Peter almost wished he believed her.
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james is just a bit of a dickhead!!
but hey look that random fight now has some backstory!! yay!!
NEXT CHAPTER THESE DUMB KIDS GO TO NARNIA
until next time (wednesday)
all the love, k xo