"Jess? Are you alright?", the faint voice emitted through the phone speaker but I didn't have courage to reply.
Jessica has leukemia?
I slumped down on the bed, sorrow and regret engulfed me.
What have I done?
I have to stop Xavier from breaking her heart. She doesn't deserve to be left alone in such situation.
But if I tell Xavier, I'll lose him forever. He would definitely choose Jessica over me.
"This isn't about you, Hazel. This is about Jessica.", my inner voice countered.
But I love him. Am I ready to sacrifice my love for her happiness? All my life, I have been thrown away like tissue papers, Xavier might be my only chance of happiness.
"Think about dad. He would be ashamed of you if you try to steal Jessica's happiness.", the inner voice justified.
The voice was right, I couldn't be selfish at a moment like this. Jessica is an amazing human being, she doesn't deserve to fight with cancer alone.
"Yes, now go and stop him from telling her that he doesn't love her.", the voice called again.
Hopping out of the bed, I exited the room at a hurried pace. I almost collided with Stefan who told me that he watched Jessica and Xavier walking towards the garden. Muttering a quick thank you, I rushed out of the house towards the garden.
I sighed when my eyes landed on both of them, sitting on a wooden bench. By the look on Jessica's face, he hadn't told him yet. Though the way Xavier's foot was tapping the ground, I could say that he was going to.
I took large steps towards the bench, they hadn't noticed me yet as their eyes were zoomed into each others.
"You remember the day when Matt died?", I heard Xavier say.
"Yes.", she whispered.
"There is something you don't-"
"Oh my God Jessica, you are here, I've been looking for you everywhere.", I said in an exhausted tone.
"But we just met few minutes ago.", she replied innocently.
"Uhh.. Yeah.. The maid slipped orange juice on your wedding dress.", I lied. I could have chosen a better excuse but my mind was not working properly.
"What?", she nearly shrieked.
"Yeah, you should go and check.", I suggested and she looked at Xavier. "It's ok. We will talk later.", he replied and she sprinted inside.
"Why did you lie, Hazel?", he asked, his voice dripping with confusion.
"You can't do this. You can't tell her the reason you are marrying her.", I exhaled heavily.
"But why? You were the one who thought I should tell her. Now you are-"
"Jessica has leukemia.", I bawled and his eyes widened with surprise.
"What did you say?", he asked in a low voice.
"Jessica has leukemia.", I spoke again and his gaze dropped down to the ground.
"Xavier?", I asked when he didn't say anything for a whole minute.
"Why her?", he spoke in a low voice. "She has spent last four years working for kids suffering from cancer. How can she...why...why her? That's really not fair.", his voice was breaking.
"She doesn't deserve this, Hazel. She doesn't deserve to suffer.", he whispered, his eyes still zoomed on the ground.
"I know.", I mumbled.
"She lost her mother when she was a kid. Her only support was her brother and she lost him too. Her father was never there for her. After all this mishaps, she still managed to smile and look at the bright side. And now..!", his voice sounded hoarse. It looked like he was trying too hard not to cry.
"It's okay.", I patted his back, trying to solace him. "We can't change the fact now. The only thing you can provide her is your support."
He raised his head and looked at me. His eyes were brimming with unshed tears, the wretched look on her face was making my heart clench in pain.
"I am sorry Hazel.", he said softly. "She needs me. She can't fight this alone."
"I know. I kinda figured that out.", I smiled.
...
"Hazel, are you done with the aisle?", Stefan asked and I gave a final glance to the aisle.
"Yes, it's all set. What about the caterers?", I asked.
"They are almost done with the food. Have you checked on Jessica?", he asked.
"Oh I forgot it completely. Don't worry, I'll take a look at her.", I responded and hurried towards her room.
A gasp left my mouth when I took in her appearance. She looked like an angel, dressed in her beautiful wedding gown. Her hair was set in a braided chignon, with few tendrils framing her face. Her eyes were dusted with golden eyeshadow and her makeup was done to perfection.
She looked genuinely happy. And it caused a wave of satisfaction flash through my heart.
"You look awesome.", I exclaimed. "By the way, sorry for that juice prank."
"It's okay.", she smiled. "Will you do me a favour?"
"Sure.", I replied.
"Can you go and check if Xavier is alright? He looked disturbed this morning but my relatives and beauticians kept me occupied all day. I couldn't even talk to him.", she looked concerned.
"Fine. You just sit down and relax. Leave everything else upto me.", I said and exited the room.
With heavy heart and slow steps, I walked towards Xavier's room. The door was already half open so I entered inside without a knock. He was standing in front of the mirror, his back was towards me.
When he turned around, I almost let out a sigh. I was looking at the most handsome groom I have ever seen. He was wearing a black designer tux with a crisp white shirt. His hair was gelled back with perfection, the smell of his cologne was engulfing the whole room. Straight nose, high cheekbones, chiseled jaw, he was definitely blessed with the best features.
"Your bow tie is not straight.", I whispered when I noticed his tie.
"Oh.", he turned back to the mirror and tried to straighten it but crooked it even more.
"Is it straight now?", he turned towards me and asked. Shaking my hand in a no, I walked towards him and started to straighten it. His proximity was affecting me like every other time, I could feel his eyes on my face but I didn't bother to lift my lids. Instead, I kept my gaze on his tie which was too damn stubborn.
"Finally.", I said when I succeded in aligning it.
"You wore black.", he said when I created some distance between us.
"Well, someone once said that black is my color.", I grinned and he furrowed his eyebrows. His featured relaxed when his eyes twinkled with the memory, the night of the ball when we danced for the first time.
"That someone must be a really smart person.", he added, trying to lighten the atmosphere.
"Nah.. He was just a stupid, high headed lawyer who once tried to run me over with his Mercedes.", I teased.
"For the record, it was a Range Rover.", he retorted, faking a frown.
"Yeah yeah whatever. Umm.. I should go and give a final look to all the arrangements.", I mumbled and turned around, some unshed tears pricking the back of my neck.
...
After doing a final check at the arrangements, I made my way to the lake. The sky was crystal clear, the moon was casting its reflection down on the opaque water of the lake. The air was filled with the smell of moist soil, encouraging me to inhale deeply.
With small steps, I reached the shore and pulled off my heels, putting them aside. Sitting down on the ground, I let my legs dangle in the cold water.
In the soothing silence, I hummed the lyrics of "My heart will go on", stopping only when I heard footsteps coming towards me.
"Whatcha doin, sis?", Alex said in a pathetic accent.
"Enough with the accent. You aren't deceiving anybody, Cinderella.", I said flatly.
"Geez, your mood swings are getting way out of hand.", he said. "By the way, I came here to bring you. The wedding is about to start."
"Just few more minutes." I replied and flung a small stone into the water which I found at the ground. The stone created ripples which spreaded to the periphery. It was strangely satisfying.
Alex slumped down beside me, I could feel his gaze on my face.
"Were you crying?", he asked in a soft voice.
"Are you crazy? Why would I cry?", I defended.
"Your face is all red and puffy.", he stated.
"It's nothing, dimwit. I just felt emotional because of the wedding and all. Just girl thingy.", I fake-laughed.
"Wow, my dear sister is finally acting like a girl. There must be some boy involved." he teased, earning an eye roll from me.
Without answering, I stood up and dusted the sand off my dress. Slipping into my heels, I wended my way towards the venue which was just few steps away from the lake.
From the sounds of clapping coming from inside, it was clear that Jessica was walking down the aisle. With my heart thumping like a drum, I trudged towards the area where the cermony was held. My eyes landed on the couple and I felt the familiar heaviness inside my stomach.
Jessica was grinning happily while Xavier's face showed no emotions. He didn't look sad or angry, neither did he look excited.
"Do you, Xavier Davis, take Jessica Stinson to be your lawfully wedded wife, promising to love and cherish, through joy and health, for as long as you both shall live?", the officiant asked.
He paused for a moment, creating a tingling feeling brewing inside my body. After everything, a small part of me still wanted him to leave everything and come running towards me. Just a tiny little part of my stupid heart.
"I do.", he stated and just like that, the butterflies died.
***************************
I know many of you would hate Xavier for choosing Jessica. But just think from his POV. Jessica was not some random girl he was marrying. She was not just side chick, intead she was a part of his life. How could he leave her at the low point of her life, just before their wedding.
By the way, there is still one chapter left. Who knows what might happen?