JIMIN:
I see her spacing out again. Her head is looking up to the sky as if she is communicating with the sky. Maybe asking for something, maybe praying for something. And I know exactly what she's thinking about. Sana is absolutely trying to communicate with Yoongi through the sky which still unities God's creatures in this planet.
Now after the hurricane has calmed...My mother is resting at her family's villa to heal her depression because of that person, Sana resumed her path to reach her dream as a doctor, Yoongi also sent me message telling me that he'll continue his study in Japan and Taehyung started to work while studying at college. Yet I still feel something is wrong in this world. The logic that's prevail in the world I'm living in right now is not rational anymore for me.
How to survive when part away from someone we love?
Yeah, I know. Sana is fighting hard to continue her life without Yoongi.
Yeah, I know. Sana can't bring back her love to me no matter how hard she tried.
Yeah, I know. I'm still powerless to let go of Sana although I see that clearly. I see her struggling and suffering.
But Sana always smiles, laughs, as if her life is okay. As if she enjoys being in my side. Happy because she will get married with me. Although I see clearly, never again Sana had even shown her deepest of heart after she lost Yoongi in high school.
And here I am. I think my heart becomes more rotten because the flower I've been maintain to keep blossoming for me, already withering and wrinkling. I want to keep Sana because I still want to live in this world.
I don't know anymore how to survive in the world without Sana. I'm too weak and my weakness makes her not happy and instead destroys her gradually. At this level, once again I want to give up with my life.
"Baby,"I hug Sana from behind very tightly. With this, I won't think to really give up on my life. With this, I won't wish that I will disappear forever.
Sana turns around and caresses my head gently, I kiss her shoulder and our faces meet. Her kiss is always same, full of tenderness, still passionate but felt so ordinary. I spin her body around to kiss her freely, pin her body to the glass wall behind her, carefully I lift her body. Sana wraps her legs around my waist and her arms around my neck and her lips's movement is so powerful, fast and synchronized with my tongue movement very well.
Sometimes deep inside my heart that weird feeling comes. When I tasted how sweet this girl's kiss, or when our body became one, I felt it. That there's a part of my self that's screaming, pitying and feeling guilty towards the person who actually doesn't deserve my Sana.
I pity Yoongi.
"Hah...hah...Oppa,"Sana stares at me with her teary eyes after we broke our passionate kiss which last long. Unknowingly I've already brought her to the bed. I wipe some hair strands off her face. She's so beautiful, I always want to keep her in my embrace. But once again, the weird feeling swims up to the surface. Everytime I look at Sana, I feel like I commit a crime.
I make love to her, when barely I realize who's the one she really want.
"Sana...,"
"Yes?"Sana asked whilst slowly unbuttoning my shirt.
"Tonight, I will release everything inside you,"I caress her face which looking at me innocently.
"I will make you pregnant,"
And I want to slap my face hardly, Sana! How can I think like that? Thinking that I will make you pregnant when I know exactly what hurt you the most. After you lost your fetus with Yoongi, of course this will really wound you. Even I know that you're not willing to have child with me right?!
"I understand...,"
Instead of seeing her teary face, reject me or even push me away, I'm greeted with her smiling face. But her smile is full of sorrow. It hurts me, Sana...this life ain't supposed to be like this right? You supposed to never belong to other guy. You supposed to be only mine from the beginning!
FLASHBACK - SANA:
"Yoongi, I've done showering. You can use the bathroom,"I walked out while drying my half dry hair. Without looking at Yoongi who's lying on the bed, I walked towards the wardrobe to take my uniform. Yoongi's wardrobe has already mixed with my clothes since I decided to stay with him here. I feel so weird, but I'm so happy and I can't hide my little happiness. We're like the highschoolers who secretly already married and live together.
"Yoongi-ah?"
I finally turn around because I didn't get any answer. How shock I am when I see Yoongi lies flat on the bed with sweaty body, holding his wounded chest and looks so in pain. I throw my uniform and run to him, I place my back palm on his forehead and wipe his sweats. Yoongi doesn't get fever but he looks really hurt.
"Yoongi-ah, what's wrong?! Yoongi...open your eyes, look at me!"I can't hold my tears because I'm too panic. Slowly Yoongi controls his breath and opens his eyelids, looking at me and smiles slightly. His warm palm touches my face but he still holding the pain in his chest.
"Seems like because I hold you last night, this wound felt hurt again,"he says with his thin smile.
"I'm sorry...Yoongi, I'm sorry,"I cried before his eyes. Yoongi caressed my face and brushed my lips with his thumb.
"Sana...this pain keeps reducing when you're here now,"
"Hey, please get my pills,"he said when I only cry and cry. Ah, I'm so useless. When Yoongi asked for his pills,I then realized and quickly got his pain killer and water from the cabinet near the bed.
Yoongi started to calm after he took his pills and when I realized, I already hug him from his side profile. I forget the school, I forget that I supposed to get dress again and go to school. What occupies my mind is only Yoongi. I raise my head and look at Yoongi who shuts his eyes after he was struggling with his pain. Yoongi was in pain like this because he protected me.
"Sana...,"Yoongi opened his eyes when I kissed his lips.
Our eyes met and this warm also fluttering feeling fills my chest. Since when, since when I fond to you? That's not supposed to be like this right? You supposed to be the violent person, I supposed to be afraid of you and we supposed to stay as enemies or rivals to get Jimin's heart. But since when to be exact, I accept this feeling? The feeling that I know exactly that this is...
LOVE.
"Yoongi, when we're like this promise me with anything I will do to you, promise me you will respond it...although you have to pretend, promise me that you will love me,"I buried my face in his warm crook. My lips barely touch his neck, if I'm allowed...I want to immediately kiss him.
"Do as you please, Sana,"Yoongi said lowly. I let my tears escape to my face. This is because the happiness, but also because I feel sad seeing him trying to follow my heart game.
"I'm yours,"Yoongi leads my body so I lie down on top of him. Without giving pressure at all to his injured chest, I already hovering on his body. Welcoming his gentle kiss. His thin lips and soft tongue. We are kissing, pecking, devouring, sucking and biting each other's lips. His tongue is playing inside my wet cavern, when I got a chance, I turn to conquer his cavern. Is this because of the lust which starting to lead me, my chest beats so fast until I feel that my heart almost burst out. I like him. I really like Yoongi.
"Yoongi...,"I called his name with quiet sensual voice whilst trailing my kiss down to his neck. Sometimes I want to bury my self deep inside the earth, I don't know since when I become this sassy. I feel lust, big desire but very huge feeling fill my chest whenever I'm with Yoongi. I want to tease him, want to make him feel pleasure, want to make him happy.
"Sana...,"Yoongi sighed lowly when I licked his neck and nibbled his skin. Leaving my mark there. I smiled secretly and looked up to his face which already enjoying my touch. Without saying much, I started to kiss his rock chest again, down to his torso. Yoongi holds his torso's muscles when I give my butterfly kisses all over his torso. His face's expression is last forever on my mind. I want to hear his heartbeat which pumping so fast, like what I feel. We're already sinking in our game. We're fond towards each other, filled with huge desire.
I pulled the boxer Yoongi wears and his cock already aroused, it flinched when I pulled the fabric and stands proud in front of my eyes. I could feel my face is burning, but I couldn't hold myself to not touch it. With both of my hand, I grasped the long thing which numerously gave me pleasure. Yoongi groaned lowly and I wanted to see him enjoy what I do more. I kissed the tip of his cock and I felt Yoongi folds his right leg, his face ducked down to look at me. I didn't really care with his reaction, I inserted the long and reddened thing onto my mouth.
"Sana, don't force yourself like before,"Yoongi said worriedly when I started to suck his cock. I didn't really care and kept doing my job. Until several times I got choked because I put his cock really deep onto my throat, Yoongi bent over and held my body.
"Enough, stop it. I don't want to see you get hurt,"
I wanted to cry when I look at Yoongi's gaze. It's full with worries, care and sincere. So warm. I let go of his cock from my mouth, hovering up to his face and kissed his lips gently. My tears fell when Yoongi kissed me back very gently.
Yoongi, if only the one you love is me....
If only from the beginning this story is ours, I'm sure that my life is perfect. Your true self is someone who's kindhearted, gentle and caring. Your fragile heart showers me with warmth. You're so gentle, I realize even more that you're not someone who deserve to get hurt.
"Yoongi, I want you. I want to feel you completely inside me,"I hugged Yoongi with tears streaming down on my face. I have no idea whether this is only my tears or Yoongi also crying? My chest felt wet with warm liquid. When I released the hug, then looked up to his face, he does crying, slowly I lead his member to enter my hole. The gravity made it easier for his junior to enter me perfectly, become one with me inside my womb.
The feeling when I feel Yoongi inside my body...he's warm and filling my hole. His moan sounded like a melody. It turns me on even more. Yoongi kissed me again, we keep kissing and kissing like there's no tomorrow for the sinful kids. Until I leaned his body back to the bed so he can enjoy the game I fully control. His face when we become one like this, I save to my mind forever.
*Save Me*
In the end, I will marry this guy...
"Tonight, I will release everything inside,"Jimin caressed Sana's face with imperfect affection.
"I will make you pregnant,"he said with darken eyes.
Sana was stunned upon hearing Jimin's words. That means that Jimin doesn't only put commitment on this relationship but he's very serious. He didn't want to let go of Sana anymore no matter what happen. Even if one day Yoongi is back, if he got a child from Sana the she won't betray him.
Yeah. Betray him.
Sana was fully realize. This tragedy, this disaster, everything started not because of Yoongi's poor fate. But because she betrayed Jimin.
"I understand...,"
Sana formed a smile on her lips. The smile full with sorrow but couldn't be denied, sincere.
Jimin snatched Sana's lips once again with love. His hands undressed Sana's body. Down to her crotch. Sana could only swallow her voice when Jimin's digit pressed right of the center of his wet underwear. Jimin left his marks on Sana's neck down to her chest. Jimin took a mouthful of Sana's breast and suck her erected nipple. Sana let out a soft moan feeling Jimin's tongue play on her breast and his fingerplay down there.
As if it was wrong, but not too wrong. The guy who touched her is none other than her first love, the guy who's in relationship with her officially since high school, her future husband. But pain which was growing and inflammating Sana's heart couldn't be forgotten. Images of the past when Yoongi touched her, kept attacking Sana's head.
But Sana beared all of them. Sana accepted her destiny. She must redeem her sins for her betrayal. Sana thought, Jimin was always failed to catch her deepest sorrow. Jimin had never knew, Sana was screaming and crying loudly inside her heart.
"Oppa...,"Sana jolted when Jimin already thrusted his member onto her hole. Jimin muffled Sana's scream with a kiss. Sana always felt secure whenever Jimin touched her this gently. But it failed, Sana failed to hide her tears. Jimin always could make her feels secured and comfortable but a huge part of her is really suffering.
"Sana... I love you,"Jimin whispered whilst rocking her body, moving his hips back and forth, thrusting his cock deep inside her womb. Sana grasped the sheets, shut her eyes holding the pain also pleasure down there when her flesh rubbed with Jimin's hard muscle. And once again Jimin already dominated this game, Sana has never failed to get carried on with his bed game. Her world once again started only occupied by her and Jimin.
"F-faster,"Sana's mind already lost as how faster Jimin rocks her body. Her juices soaked their genitals and made Jimin easier to fuck her. She flinched numerously when Jimin hit her spot. She pulled Jimin's body closer to her and captured his lips. Jimin kissed her passionately and began their tongue play. When he almost reach the peak, Jimin went slower but he thrusted his cock hard onto her flesh. He pulled out again and looked at his hard and reddened cock just in front of her entrance, then pushed it again very hard inside her hole. He did that several times until he rocks her hole quickly again before reach his peak, making Sana's scream filled the room.
"I really love you,"Jimin whispered whilst giving pecks all over Sana's face after they reached their peak. Jimin in the end, didn't really cum inside her womb. His warm and white liquid filled the long haired girl's torso whom panting hard after she had sex with him. Sana failed to notice the tears that Jimin shed. But Jimin didn't failed to notice Sana's shady, empty and lifeless gaze.
*Save Me*
I really love you. But as time goes by, I started to hate myself.
That guy stared at Jimin with hate. Yeah, always like that since Jimin could remember for the very first time. However, right now the hatred seems planted too deep. While walking down the stairs, Presdir Park didn't break his eyes contact with Jimin. As if he burned Jimin with his gaze, really not his father – yeah, he indeed not his biological father- and Jimin could only smile sadly.
"I swear I will destroy Minatozaki's family until the root, Park Jimin. Remember your position in this world,"he said with tone full of emphasize.
"Father...ah, no. Presdir, I will cancel all of our cooperation with companies and diplomat in US,"Jimin smiled, swallowing his bitterness.
"In the end, they only trust me,"
Presdir Park's body got tensed on his feet. Yeah, Jimin had already became a very amazing person lately. The cooperation he gained in US not because Park Group is East Asian's biggest business kingdom but because they trust Jimin. They liked Jimin's integrity and wanted to work with him. Presdir Park should have known that. No, he indeed knew. Mr. Kim always reported every event to him. How San Fransisco's diplomat wanted to meet Jimin or how Jimin succeed to make the mine and oil businessmans in US got blown up by his achievement. Everything was reached by Jimin for Park Group, only Jimin who succeed and able to get that in this young age. He already surpassed his step father.
"You have expelled my mother from this family,"Jimin looked at Presdir Park with flashing eyes.
"Now, prepare to wait for you to get rid from this family and mother will comeback to her throne again,"
"And before that will happen, you will see Sana crying over her parents,"Presdir Park said expressionless. Plain and always heartless.
Jimin clenched his fists very hard.
"We'll see,"Jimin said with determination.
"Park Jimin!!! Remember why you were born!"
"I was born, to be Park Jimin who's able to protect the people he loves. Right?"Jimin stopped and turned around to look at Presdir Park again with teary eyes.
"Hahahaha! You're kidding. Do you realize, to give birth of you Jihyun was suffering how much? And I've killed my heart, Park Jimin. There's no love in this world, everything is about position and dignity. I really will destroy that slut's family business!"
"SANA IS NOT A SLUT AND SHE'S EXTRAORDINARY COMPARING TO YOU!!!!"Jimin lost his patience and screamed his lungs out.
"She will be a promising doctor. Everyone put their hopes on her. She's so valuable for medical world! She's not a person who doesn't match this family. No. Even us, this family, I don't deserve her!"Jimin resumed his walk and left that room with tears couldn't be hold anymore.
Outside, Jimin leaned his back on the pillar. Looking up to the cloudy sky. Day by day he felt like he couldn't take it anymore. With all of his might he tried to protect Sana, with all of his might Sana also protects his feelings by killing her heart. Everything felt so wrong.
In this point, Jimin couldn't take anymore.
"Oppa...please.................................,"
"Tzuyu....,"
Tzuyu's image before the death angel picked that amazing girl up was flashing in Jimin's mind again.
Jimin sat down weakly as the rain started to pouring down soaking the earth. Under the roof which protecting him, Jimin felt the rain also soaking his body. A young girl with black white lacy dress stood not far in front of Jimin, on the road with umbrella shielding her body from the rain. The girl as if didn't look at where her feet stepped and fell down when she walked. Jimin was stunned and quickly dashed down the rain to help her.
"I feel my love is crying again...and today his heart is darker than ever,"tears were streaming down from the eyes without light of the girl with doll alike face. Jimin was taken aback upon hearing her voice. The voice he has always been recognized.
"No...don't tell me...,"the girl suddenly got startled and jolted away from Jimin's grip but Jimin held her shoulder.
"You...Jimin Oppa?"she asked lowly. Jimin once again could only got speechless when he realized the girl before his eyes right now is blind.
"Are you...that person?"
"Why you're appearing just now?"Jimin shook Yuqi's shoulder quiet hard. Yuqi bit her bottom lip. Never she expected that Jimin actually stands in front of her. She could feel Jimin is crying, grieving or in bliss but she couldn't notice where's Jimin's presence. And now she got stuck. Finally she made Jimin found her.
"Me...who?"Yuqi asked trying to hide her identity.
"You're the person who sent me those dolls right?!"Jimin shrieked. Yuqi could only stare at the darkness. Her dimmed gaze filled by the same great sorrow.
When Yuqi smiled with tears are brimming in her eyes, whether it was the rain drop or tears which soaking Jimin's cheek.
"Oppa, I only want Oppa to live in the world which can make you happy,"
Jimin's knees lost their strength until he couldn't bear his weight anymore. Jimin kneeled down in front of Yuqi. Crying hardly. Never he felt this hurt when someone sincerely wanted him to be happy. He didn't recognize who's the girl standing before his eyes right now except those dolls and her voice. But because of her warmth and sincere heart, Jimin broke into tears. Jimin cried really hard. Until finally Yuqi kneeled down in front of him, pulled Jimin into her embrace and let him cry until he got exhausted under the rain pour that evening.
The biggest sacrifice is not when we let go of our love, to reach their happiness. But when we release our suffering self to be happy, to reach a new happiness. What is called with live is to be a human completely. Crying, getting hurt, losing, angry, hating, happy are the part of life itself. And the most valuable one is when we already experienced all of them, and one day saying, "I'm this alive,"
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Hi guys... I'm sorry for late update. I got a lot things to do in real life. Also I'm sorry if there's a lot of typos & grammar error ...I didn't really check it, I'm sleepy & tired rn. I hope I can receive many comments from you guys 💖