A/N: hey guys, I hope you don't mind, but this chapter is a bit longer than the other ones. I should be updating again this week, stay tuned! xo
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"Hayley?" Michael called my name, and it tore me away from this trance I was in. "Are you alright?"
"I—I'm sorry, I was just thinking about work," I shamefully lied, as I took my pager out of my jacket's pocket. "As a doctor, I have to take this little thing with me wherever I go. I was just wondering if they found someone to replace Carl and I." That part was true, though.
"Which one of your coworkers Carl is?" he wonders.
"The pediatric surgeon? He is at the service, to be exact. He is my boss, my friend and my roommate," I explained, and Michael chuckled a little. "I know, this situation is quite weird, right?"
"I'm not judging you, but yeah it's quite funny that you have to live forty-four hours a day with your boss around," he chuckled again, as he turned on the right.
With that turn Michael took, it was easier for me to have a look at the amusement park. I could clearly see the rides in the distance, and I was quite taken aback by the size of it. I expected the amusement park to be a carousel and a couple of rides, but it was much more than this. There were rides everywhere, a cotton candy stand, bumper cars,... As I kept on walking, I saw the different names of the rides, and a smile decorated my face as I read them in my head: the Octopus, the Wave Swinger, the Super Slide, the Pirate Ship...
I stepped out of the golf cart, and walked quickly further into the park. I heard Michael laugh from behind me, as I kept looking at my surroundings. This place was magical. The more I discovered it, the more I could feel it, I could feel my inner child screaming with joy.
"Oh my God, there's a Ferris wheel!" I exclaimed, pointing it with my index finger, as if Michael didn't know it was there. I was getting excited at the sight of my favorite ride. "This is amazing."
"Isn't it?" Michael asked, as he was now next to me. "I'm proud of what I did with that place."
"You can be," I assured him, as I sighed with a newly found happiness. "It feels just like old times. I loved amusement parks when I was younger."
"When's the last time you visited one?"
"Back in the early eighties, I was on vacation in Florida with my parents. I'd say 1982?" I wondered, squinting my eyes as if it would help me think better.
"So it's been around ten years since you didn't go on a ride," Michael nodded his head slowly, touching his chin while looking at the ground. "It's time for you to discover again what it's like to have fun in an amusement park, then."
"Bu—"
"I know," Michael cut me off, but he gave me a sweet smile, walking closer to me. He looked right in my eyes, and it's like my whole body stopped working for a few seconds. All of my frustrations, doubts or fears just vanished away when he laid his eyes on me. "We're going to go to the movie theater to settle everything there for the children, but once we're done, we're going back there. There's no way you're leaving Neverland without going on the rides, Dr. Brit."
I was amazed by the different effects he could have on me without me being able to control them. His presence could trigger a visceral reaction within me, and put my mind upside-down with unanswered questions. On the opposite, Michael had the ability to make me feel like at that particular moment. I was carefree, thing I thought I wasn't capable of. I rarely felt that in my entire life, the sensation that everything was going to be just fine, without a doubt, which is quite ironic when I experienced the worst visions concerning his future.
Suddenly, I found myself getting shy. It happened a lot whenever I was talking to Michael, and I had to get used to this new me. I had never been the shy type, on the contrary, I loved to go and talk to people I didn't know, to make contact with them. I was a people's person, and this is one of the reason why I decided to become a doctor in the first place.
"Sounds like a plan," I nodded my eyes, as I pushed a strand of hair behind my ear. I had to fight the urge to cringe at myself. My body wasn't even listening to my brain anymore, as I couldn't even restrain myself from showing this type of signal that would tell Michael that I was shy and intimated.
"You're sooo easy to convince," he teased, giggling, and I rolled my eyes playfully at him. "Or I'm a really good persuader."
"Don't flatter yourself, I'm just weak when it comes to rides," I teased as well, and walked ahead from him towards the movie theater. I was glad to see that the real, sassy me, was showing up for once since I got there.
I turned around for a second, and stuck my tongue out at him. His eyes widened, and he put a hand over his mouth, faking to be shocked by my action, which caused me to smile widely at his silly self.
***
Michael gave me a quick tour of the premises, from the dance studio to the screening room and the theater. He told me how much he loved to spend time here, whether by himself or with a bunch of kids, to watch Disney movies. His collection blew my mind away.
We stopped in front of a door, not far from the entrance of the main room. When Michael opened it, I realized that the room was made especially for very sick children. There was a long glass wall in front of the hospital beds for the children to be able to watch the movie from there. I turned around to the spot where Michael was, and I gave him a sincere and thankful smile.
"Thank you... for them, I mean."
"I just want the sickest children to have the chance to see Neverland if they have to leave this world," he let me know with an obvious sadness, and I felt a slight tingling sensation in my chest at his words. "Last year I—," he started, but stopped abruptly. He sat on one of the hospital beds, and sighed heavily. "Last year, I lost one of my friend to AIDS. We tried so hard—we tried so hard to help him. Whenever he was around here, I made sure to do everything I could for him, and I am ready to put the same effort I put into making Ryan's life better with every single kid that walk through Neverland's gates."
"Ryan? Are you talking about Ryan White?" I wondered, as the story of the boy rang a bell to me.
"That'd be him. I imagine you've heard of his story?"
"Of course I did, it was all over the news. I'm so sorry for your loss, Michael, I didn't know he was a friend of yours," I sincerely told him.
"Thank you," he forced a little smile, as he played with his hands on his lap. "He's in a better place now. God is taking care of him," he declared with a faint smile, but it wasn't able to erase the sadness in his eyes.
"He is," I verified, fighting the urge to rub his shoulder for comfort. "Ryan's situation has been one of the reasons why I chose to do this job. I wanted to help sick kids like him to try to give them a better life."
"That's why I admire you," Michael said, as he turned his head to look deep into my eyes. I could read the sincerity in them. "You have to deal with children who are in pain every single day, but you don't let your feelings get in your way, and give your all to cure them. I... I saw Ryan many times through his life, and every time I got to see him, I ended up crying because it was too painful for me to see him in such pain."
"But you stayed, you didn't run away life many people around him did. You made his life a little bit brighter while it was a living hell, Michael," I said in a gentle voice. "You did everything you could for Ryan, and he knew it. I'm sure about it."
"Thank you," he quietly said, as he addressed me a toothless smile. "I'm sorry I ruined the mood, I—"
"No, no! Don't apologize, you didn't ruin anything," I reassured yet again, as I stood up from the bed. "How about we start arranging this room?" I switched topic, as I noticed and felt how tough it was for Michael to talk about it.
Ryan had been gone for a year, so I figured it was still fresh in his memory. We talked a lot about it around the hospital, since we had to deal with hemophiliac kids like Ryan. His story touched a lot of people around the country, and the little boy used this to travel and do disease prevention.
"Sounds like a good idea," he gave me a happier smile this time, while his deep brown doe eyes seemed to be darkened by the pain he felt inside.
***
It took Michael and I a whole hour to unpack every single box there was in the room. Each boxes contained different medical equipment that could be useful for the sickest children coming over there. I was quite moved to see how much effort and money Michael gave for the children. He gave them more than just medical attention, he gave them a chance to be treated the same way as the ones who are able to walk or eat by themselves, to realize many of their dreams by being at Neverland.
"What's that?" Michael curiously asked me from across the room, holding the tube of the electronic spirometer that was just next to him. The innocence in his behavior and body language made me smile.
"It's a spirometer," I explained, as I made my way up to him. "It's a machine that measures the volume of air inspired and expired by the lungs. It measures ventilation, but also the movement of air into and out of the lungs, and like this, it can demonstrate if something is wrong with the patient or not. That thing her," I pointed to the device next to Michael, "it's a 'spirogram', and it will identify if the ventilation is abnormal: whether it is obstructive, or restrictive."
Michael nodded slowly, watching the machine with insistence, "it's amazing. People who invented that are geniuses."
"They started to work on this invention during the seventeenth century, and it got better and better as centuries went by. I'm pretty sure that this will evolve again before the twentieth century, the medical field never ceases to evolve, and it's something that blow my mind because it feels like the human brain has no lim—" I stopped talking when I realized that my talking was way quicker than it used to be. This happened whenever I got amazed by something, or when I talked about something I loved. "I—I'm sorry," I simply said, blushing as I felt embarrassed.
"What are you apologizing for? I was delighted to see how passionate you are about your job and everything that goes with it," Michael reassured, frowning a little as he examined my demeanor closely. "Don't feel embarrassed, there's nothing to be embarrassed about here."
"I still have old reflexes," I explained, as I rubbed my forehead a little. "I used to keep my mouth shut about all of this. People used to tell me it was boring. Well, except my family. My parents were always very supportive."
"I don't see what's boring about learning new things. I love when I am taught things," he told me, as he put the spirometer's tube down. "Do your parents work in the medical field as well?"
"My father, yes. He used to be a dentist, and my mother was his secretary. He opened his own office when I was ten years old, and my mother decided to stop her job as a paralegal to work with him."
"He used to? Is he retired now?"
"He—," I trailed off, as I was preparing the words I dreaded to come out of my mouth. "He passed away."
"Oh—Hayley, I am so, so sorry," Michael sincerely apologized, as the same look as earlier came back on his face. "I didn't mean to—"
"It's okay Michael, you couldn't know, don't worry," I slightly smiled to try to reassure him. He was really feeling bad about this. "I uh—I lost both of my parents."
As soon as the words left my mouth, tears welled up in Michael's eyes, and this sight alone broke my heart into a million pieces. I felt guilty to put him in that state, not only because my pain was mixing with his and made me feel incredibly sad inside, but also because the sight of him smiling was way too precious to be replaced by the sight of this sorrowful expression he had on.
"B—Both?" he whispered, and I simply nodded in response. "I—I can't imagine how horrible this must had been, and I know that nothing will take your pain away," he stopped and sighed heavily, "but know that I am incredibly sorry for your loss, Hayley."
"Thank you," I softly said, as I looked down at my hands. "It's been seven years now, but it's still hard to talk about it."
"I won't ask you to talk about it unless you don't want to. I want you to be comfortable around me, Hayley. If I say something that makes you uneasy or uncomfortable, just tell me. I know I can be curious at times, and it may make me look intrusive," he announced, and I could tell he was slightly embarrassed as his voice seemed to be higher.
"You're not making me uncomfortable, on the contrary. It's easy to talk about this kind of things with you," I admitted sincerely, and a smile appeared on his face. "But if you ever say something that makes me uneasy, I'll let you know for sure, and I hope you'll do the same."
"You can count on that."
***
"So, everything seems to be in place," I said, as I put my hands on my hips to take a look at the work we accomplished for the last three hours. "I put all of the basic medical equipments in the first drawer, you know, like the stethoscope, the exam lights, the blood pressure monitor, and so on... Those are the first things you use when a patient comes in, so they need to be easy to reach in case of emergency," I explained to Michael, and he nodded as he listened carefully to everything I was saying. "Then I made sure to adjust the machines, now there are all functional. There's a security button on each and every one of them. It looks like this one," I showed him the one on the defibrillator's side. "The gas supply system is functional as well, your medical crew will have to put whatever gas the kid needs in it when the time is right, but apart from this, it's working."
"Speaking of this," Michael said, as he scratched the top of his head. "I don't have any medical crew just yet. I mean, the kids come from different foundations, and these foundations have a medical staff, but they're not much and they're not actual doctors. Do you think I should hire my own crew? I've been thinking about this for a while now."
"I think it could be a good thing," I honestly told him. "Having people here when kids are over can definitely a good thing, and it would make the children and their families feel safe if they know they have doctors and nurses around them in case of emergency."
"You're right," he nodded his head while watching the floor for a couple of seconds. "Do... Do you think you could help me interview people? I don't want to abuse your kindness or anything, but I don't know much about this field and what makes a good doctor, or how to recognize a real one."
"You knew I was a good one, though. How?" I curiously asked with a little smile, as I noticed Michael's cheeks' color changing into a light pink.
"I don't know, it was easy for me to see how much you love your job when I saw you interact with the kids. I guess that's how I knew you were a good doctor."
"See? You already know one thing that makes someone a good doctor: they must be devoted to their job."
"Will you help me find out what are the other things that make someone a good doctor by helping me with the interviews?" he sweetly asked me.
"If my schedule allows it, I will," I smiled at him, and naturally put my hand on his upper arm.
And I regretted it right away.
"Shit," I cursed under my breath in a barely audible whisper, as I felt it was happening again, but this time with much more force than the last time it happened earlier during the day.
Michael was in front of me, calling my name, but the more images came flooding my mind, the more he became blurry. His voice became nothing but an echo at some point, and the more I tried to hold on to it to try not to succumb to the visions, the stronger they hit me, making me weaker, dragging me to a sea of pain.
As I cup my head in my hands and close my eyes from the horrible pain I was in, there he was. Michael was surrounded with kids once again in the same spot we both were, in the movie theater. His smile could easily let me know how happy he was at that moment but quickly, another image hit, almost like a flash. Policemen were in a kind of playroom, and they seemed to be looking for something in there. They were violently turning the room upside down, and just seeing that made me sick to my stomach for some reasons.
"Don't treat me like a criminal, because I am innocent," was the last thing I clearly heard before all I could see was pitch black, and all I could hear was a frightening, yet liberating silence.