I yawned, running my hand over my face. I looked out my car window and looked at Dalta's motel room door. Penny walked out of the room staring at the ground and frowning. She looked at me. "Hey." I quickly got out of my car. "Is she mad at me?"
Penny shrugged. "Why don't you go ask her yourself? I was just bringing her some clothes." She walked over to her room. I sighed then walked towards Dalta's room. I knocked on her door.
"Penny, I said I was...," she opened the door, and looked up at me, "fine."
"Can we talk?"
She looked down then stepped back so I could come inside. I took a deep breath then walked into the room. "Are you mad at me?"
She ignored me walking over to the made bed.
"You make up motel beds?"
She rolled her eyes. "Look. I'm about to take a shower. And that requires taking off my clothes. I know how you get around my boy body-"
"What?" I scoffed. "Dalta, last night had nothing to do with what you look like."
"Everything has something to do with what I look like." She wrapped a shoelace around her hair and tied a knot.
"You tie your hair up with shoe laces?"
"Scrunchies always pop."
I snickered and stared at her. The sun from the window behind me peaked through the curtains, drawing in line down Dalta's face and highlighting the brown in her eye. It took my breath away and made me feel as if I was drowning. There was something odd about having that feeling... It wasn't regular...like a crush. It makes you wonder if maybe...just maybe, this person is your soulmate. Not just because of the way they look, but the way they make you feel...like you could fix the hunger crisis in Africa...win every world war...bring world peace. But what makes it even more insane is how helpless it makes you feel at the same time...like you could melt into the floor...like you could lay down in a bed of flowers and do nothing...like you could look at them and do nothing for the rest of your life.
"Dalta," I gasped, feeling my face fill up with fire. "I love..." The air sucked out of my lung.
She grabbed her clothes, acting as if I wasn't saying what I was about to say. I don't blame her. I wasn't going to say it. I knew I wasn't. I couldn't. Her legs pulled her into the bathroom and she shut the door. I walked over to the bed and sat down.
"There's nothing wrong with your body." I stared at the door and shook my head. "You look completely normal to me... I didn't sleep with you because... I respect you. You're not that kind of person."
"How do you know who I am?" She said from the bathroom. I heard the water turn on.
"I know you. And I want you to be happy because you deserve it. Aren't you happy we didn't do anything last night?"
She went silent.
"Dalta-"
"I'm not happy. I want to get it over with so I could stop thinking about it. Everyone makes it such a big deal about it-"
I chuckled. "It's better if you wait."
"You didn't. How would you know?"
I sighed. "Dalta, I regret it. Every day, I see Taylor and I regret everything-"
"But that's different. I'm different. You actually like me...You do like me, right?"
My jaw dropped to speak. No words came out.
"I'm sorry... I sound like I'm gas-lighting you-"
"Dalta, if you think that sleeping with you is my way of proving to you that I like you, then you don't know me at all. Or how relationships work." "And maybe you aren't really ready."
"I just... My parents are the only two people I've seen love each other for like...forever. Penny's parents got a divorce and remarried, Betty's dad beat her mother, and your dad died."
I bowed my head.
"Most of the married people in our town have tons of money, like Chad and Taylor's parents and they're never at home because all they do is work-"
"Are you trying to say that love doesn't exist?"
"No, I'm saying that...these days, no one's in it for love. Everybody leaves-"
"I would never do that."
"How would you know?"
I gulped. "Dalta, I...I love- God," I covered my face. "Why is this so hard to say?"
"What?"
I laid back on the bed. "If we don't work out, you'll feel guilty that it was me. You'll meet the person you want to spend the rest of your life with and then realize you should've waited. That's what my mother told me happened to her and I regret Taylor. It could be different for you. But...I wouldn't take chances."
"Who says I'll find that person? And what if...you're that person?"
"Dee, we're in high school. This could just a crush or something."
She scoffed. "So, I'm just some crush-"
"No." I stared at the ceiling. The shower turned off. "You're everything to me. I think...I don't think."
"Got that right-"
"No. Let me say this. While the words are flowing, don't interrupt me."
"Wow...okay."
"I..." I sighed. "I love...I love you." I chuckled. I'd said it.
She went quiet. Everything went quiet. I could hear my heart beat in my head. I tapped my chest waiting for her to say something.
"Aren't you going to say something?" My eyes darted around the ceiling. "Like...we barely know each other or that I sound stupid...or that you at least love me back?"
She didn't say anything. I furrowed my brows and sat up turning towards the bathroom. Dalta stood in her towel by the doorway. She was staring at me with a frown.
"What's...," I gulped, "what's wrong?"
Her eyes met the floor. "I- uh...I didn't think you would...I never thought anyone would love me. Gosh." She threw her arm up. "Otis, you don't even know me. You think you do, but you don't."
"We talked about this Saturday night. I listed the reasons why I liked you. You can't tell me I don't know you-"
"You talked about this girl you made up in your head, the me you see. I'm not as sweet as you think and I'm not as kind and I am very, very dumb... How are you so sure you love me?"
My jaw nearly hit the floor. "I'm very sure... And I'm beginning to hate that I am."
"Otis "
"No." I shook my head. "You didn't expect me to love you? Then why are we dating?"
"I just explained it to you-"
"Explain it again!" I shouted.
Dalta flinched. "I... I don't know. You're this guy who... You're not the kind of guy I'd bring home to my parents. You have to admit that-"
I sighed, running my fingers through my hair. "Are you kidding me?"
"Come on. You didn't really think... I told you that this didn't make any sense. That I wasn't ready-"
"Fine." I folded my arms. "But you decided to say yes. So, what did you expect out of this? That's all I need to know."
"I don't know. Penny told me things would be fine. She told me to tell you how I felt. I really like you but...we're not right together. You deserve better and I guess I wanted to feel loved for a while. At least until you got back your common sense."
I chuckled slapping my forehead. "Well, I'm freaking crazier now than I was before. My common sense is long gone."
She bowed her head, tears running down her cheeks.
I hated myself. I felt sorry for her. I wanted to hug her and tell her that I was sorry that I was being harsh but none of what we had was real to her. To her, I was an idiot who fell for her. I shook my head.
"We're just kids-"
"No! You're the kid. You're stuck in this bubble and you don't care about your future that's why we're in this mess. You're self-destructive just like everybody says you are!"
She looked at me with furrowed brows.
"And to think that I did all of this for you. I drove us out here for you-"
"I told you to bring us back home. I could've looked for Betty on my own-"
"You don't have a license-"
"Penny would take me."
"She only came because she was worried about you."
"About me? Why would she be worried about me if I'm with you-"
"BECAUSE YOU'RE GOING TO JAIL!"
She froze. "W...-what are you talking about?"
"Peter went through with the robbery."
"B...-but I told Ethan to call it off...He said he did."
"Well, he lied to you."
She looked at the floor with wide eyes.
"And then on the way home, Peter went over to Betty's to get some of her things to bring her and when he got there...something happened between him and her dad... And Peter beat him half to death."
Dalta put her hand on her forehead. She shook her head, then covered her eyes. "This is too much."
"And I was worried so I dropped everything and drove you out here to protect you-"
"You do know-"
"That's kidnapping? Yeah, I know-"
"My parents." She looked at me. "They're probably calling the police-"
"They think you ran away with me."
She furrowed her brows. "My mother would never believe that."
"You're right. They think you ran away with me and Penny. They think we're looking for Betty."
She stared at me.
"And so does my mother and Penny's. Todd's parents trust him enough so they think he's at school right now."
She glared at me. "How could you-"
"How could I what? How could I prevent you from getting hurt? You wanna go back home? Let's go back home. We'll tell our parents we were being morons."
"You're the moron-"
"You're not so smart yourself."
She sighed. "I shouldn't have called you that. I'm sorry."
I rolled my eyes then stared at her. "I can't." I shook my head then turned around to walk away.
"Otis?" She said my name softly.
At the sound of her voice, my legs betrayed me and stopped moving. I looked at the ceiling then turned to her.
"What are we going to do now?"
"It's all up to you. I'm about to get directions to another motel; the second one Betty stayed at. If you wanna go home and get locked up, be my guest. I'll cry a few months, maybe a week. But I'll get over it."
Her face began to knot. "I'm sorry," she began to cry.
"Like you said," I shrugged, "you're not worth it." I froze at my words. I shouldn't have said them. They were thoughts before they came of my mouth...thoughts I didn't mean. But the ANGER... She infuriated me.
I quickly stormed out of the room and made my way back to my car. I got inside and slammed the door then slouched in my seat. I chuckled and shook my head trying to pretend I was okay...that I didn't care. But my eyes began to sting and lips started to curve downwards. She was using me. She was using me because she didn't think I would like her. I didn't expect us to get anywhere either but...things were becoming clear to me. Dalta didn't want love. She wanted to have a boyfriend like everyone else. Because Dalta could never think for herself. And I still had that odd feeling...but it changed. I wanted to melt into the floor...die in a world war...lay in a rose bush during a tornado. I felt helpless...worthless...less angry and more sad.
I felt something tickle my cheek and quickly wiped it. I looked at my finger. It was a tear. I was crying. I was crying over Dalta. I rolled my eyes. "Idiot."