Summary: Tsuna didn't think there would be much of a difference between the days he had the chance to blow out birthday candles. Of course, with Reborn involved in the mix this year, he shouldn't be surprised to be proven wrong after all.
A/N: So, I may have forgotten of Tsuna and Reborn's birthday. I'm sorry, Reborn. Saturdays are busy days, so I whipped out this quick one-shot of Tsuna's birthday. If it was any longer, it wouldn't have made it...
If there are any grammar or mistakes, I'm sorry -- I'll come back and edit it properly, later, but please enjoy this fortieth one-shot of this story!
• • •
The darkness of the living room was warded off from the light of a small candle, and Tsuna hovers over it, watching the flickering flame carefully on the table. He didn't dare to breathe too heavily, terrified that one strong exhale would leave him in the darkness. Instead, his eyes slowly move towards the clock, all too aware of how late it was. Nearing midnight, his mom had already gone to bed, and his day had been uneventful. Average. But this time, it was going to be different.
The bleakness of the room terrifies him to his bones, but this was his idea. To celebrate. To remind himself that everyone deserves to be happy, no matter how short-lived it was. No matter how useless and no-good they really were.
Tsuna parts open his mouth. The soft breath he exhales while doing so makes the candle flicker dangerously, as if it was about to go out, but it stays alight, to much of his relief; he didn't think he would have the courage to light the candle again with the lighter. Swallowing, he tries to part open his mouth again, singing softly after seeing the candle continue to burn.
"Happy birthday to you," he sings, too soft for anyone else but him to hear. It didn't matter either way; he was alone, so never was any chance for anyone to hear him. "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, Tsuna, happy --" he chokes, and watches as the candle nearly flicker out. He takes a deep breath, composing himself. "Happy... happy birthday to you."
The words wobble and he wants to turn his head away from the candle, if only to wipe his eyes, but it's not safe. He has to do it now -- it wouldn't be his birthday for any longer if he dawdled and did nothing.
"You're turning nine today. Congratulations," he says to himself, but the words don't quite come out right; they're wonky and sound weird to his ears like he's underwater, but he closes his eyes, feeling pathetic as tears stream down from them.
He can see the cupcake before him, small and tiny and worth every yen of his allowance. At least, that's what he keeps telling to himself. It was worth the orange icing perfectly done, better than any birthday cake. It was worth the yen, over the cake he and his mom could've celebrated together with. It was worth the candle he rummaged out from the drawers, feeling hopeless as he couldn't do anything right.
Meeting the cupcake and the candle at eye-level, he decides to blow it out until he realizes that he hadn't made his wish yet. Swallowing the lump in his throat, Tsuna ignores the tears now flowing freely from his eyes.
"I wish," he says, his eyes fluttering before the candle. The possibilities were endless. He could wish for anything. Anyone. So he hesitates. He never knew what he wanted -- just what everyone else wanted from him. "I wish... for friends."
With the words left in the open, Tsuna suddenly feels the need to justify his desire, even if it was just to himself.
"Friends that... that stay by my side forever, that remember my birthday and that... that care," Tsuna stumbles, his voice cracking. "Friends... friends that stay friends with me."
The following silence nearly chokes him from his own loneliness. Why wasn't he good enough? Wishing for something that everyone else could have. He could've wished for anything, and he asked for the most basic thing.
Tsuna blows out the candle and in the absence of light, the darkness swallows him whole.
The clock strikes twelve, and every tick of a second after reminds him of a ticking timer to his next birthday. His next birthday, which was going to be forgotten yet again.
Tucking his chin to his chest, Tsuna hugs his knees and doesn't let go.
• • •
"Happy birthday, Reborn," Tsuna says, ducking his head. Embarrassed, he thrusts out his badly wrapped gift, which was probably as bad as the gift inside. "Thank you for everything you've done. Congratulations on turning two!"
Reborn stares back and takes it wordlessly, which only makes Tsuna worry. Without his usual remark, he didn't know what his tutor was thinking.
Cheeks red from embarrassment, Tsuna quickly decides to duck out before he opens it, unwilling to be punished, should Reborn hate his gift. Not like it was expected, but Tsuna rather not risk a throbbing head in class. It wasn't the best gift -- refusing to use his hands just for fighting, Tsuna had decided to do something useful with them if he truly was dexterous. Just a bunch of paper flowers -- a dark pink rose for thankfulness, and a bunch of roses in full bloom to represent to represent gratitude.
So, without another word, Tsuna bolts. When Yamamoto and Gokudera see him and wave, Tsuna yells an apology as he runs past, hoping that he'll have a good enough head start. Reborn always uses unconventional methods to arrive earlier than he did, but over the course of the time he spent training him, Tsuna's become rather quick on his feet.
Hearing footsteps behind him, he twists his head to look behind him, seeing his best friends racing to catch up. In spite of himself and what was going to come when he got home, he throws his head back and laughs.
It might have been the best idea he'd ever have, deciding to give his gift to the hitman in the morning. It was worth all the time he spent avoiding his watchful gaze, all the sleepless nights and tortuous study nights as a result.
After all, a badly made gift with good intentions was better than no gift at all, wasn't it? Tsuna thinks with a bittersweet smile.
(He ensures that the smile is wiped off his face when they arrive at the school, panting and exhausted but happy.)
(Tsuna can't remember the last time he had this much fun running to school.)
• • •
Autumn, Tsuna decides, is a great season to be born in. His penchant for hoodies isn't as apparent in the season since it was sweater weather. The leaves turn to beautiful colours, the air can be just crisp enough to see your breath at times, and you could play with your friends without getting overheated from the sun trying to burn you alive.
He secretly wishes he could stay outside for just a little longer, but with his friends, some priorities have to be made.
Opening the door for them just to relish every second outside, he trails behind them as he arrives inside his house, calling, "We're home."
"Welcome home!" Nana calls back; to her, everyone is family.
The three teens lift their heads, smelling something delicious. Simultaneously, they decide to investigate, and Tsuna pokes his head through the doorway of the kitchen, watching his mom cook while humming. At a rather frightening speed, actually.
"Is there a special occasion happening here?" Gokudera inquires politely.
"Ah, yes, it's Reborn's birthday today," Nana says. Immediately, the teen's face pales.
"Gokudera?" Tsuna asks, worried. He watches as Gokudera buries his face into his hands.
"I forgot," he mumbles, and Tsuna has to lean in closer to hear him clearly. "I forgot that it was Reborn-san's birthday! I'm a failure! I don't deserve to be your right-hand man if I can't even pay my respects to Reborn-san!"
"No, no, Gokudera!" Tsuna says, horrified. He waves his hands. "You're my best friend first and foremost, and even if you don't have any gifts for him, y-you can always give him your sentiments."
"Haha, don't worry, I forgot too!" Yamamoto says cheerfully, slinging an arm around Gokudera. Gokudera doesn't react, which tells them the weight of the situation. Exchanging a look with Yamamoto, Tsuna steps forward and Yamamoto unslings his arm, standing beside him.
"Hey, we can tell him together," Tsuna says, poking his arm. A childish gesture, but he feels oddly giddy at doing something someone his age might be doing. Ah, this mafia thing might have infected him more than he initially thought.
Hearing his words, Gokudera lifts his head, his eyes shining with tears. "Really?"
"Of course," Tsuna smiles.
"That's what friends are for!" Yamamoto agrees.
A prickle runs across his body and Tsuna turns to see Nana watching them, her cooking momentarily stopped. She hides a smile behind her hand, her eyes glittering with amusement and some shine screaming the words "ah, youth" in them.
"We -- we should go," Tsuna says, feeling his cheeks redden. He gestures for his best friends to follow outside the kitchen and towards the stairs when something screams at him. He screeches his feet into a stop, his friends pushing him in their confusion at his sudden pause, their momentum nearly having him running into Fuuta.
"Ah! Sorry, Tsuna-nii!" The child apologizes.
"No need," Tsuna waves off, crouching down to check if he was injured. "I'm sorry I wasn't looking. I just... had to go." It feels awful to give such an excuse, but he really should've known better than to walk out of the kitchen like that when there were others living here. Speaking of others...
"Hey Fuuta, where's Lambo and I-Pin?"
Fuuta stiffens before he waves his hands. "Nothing! They're, uh, just playing around. You don't have to check on them! I just had to get some stuff for them!"
Tsuna's mouth twists, knowing all too well that he was lying; he could tell even if he didn't have his Hyper Intuition ringing warning bells of a liar. But at the same time, there was no malice, no malevolent feeling either. Should he just let it go?
Even as he internally fights himself on the matter, he already knows the answer. He sighs, giving Fuuta a pat on his shoulders as he straightens. "If you say so," he smiles. If Fuuta was guilty, he would surely confess here and then, but he gives him a relieved smile instead.
"Yes! See you around, Tsuna-nii!" Fuuta says, grinning back and hurrying away.
"Be careful; you shouldn't run inside!" Tsuna calls after him. He turns back to Gokudera and Yamamoto, both of whom had watched the interaction in complete silence. He tilts his head. "Is something wrong?"
"Nothing, Tenth!" Gokudera replies instantly.
"We're just glad you warmed up to them," Yamamoto explains with an easy grin. "All the friends you made during the mafia game -- you've become closer with them. Happier." The baseball player shrugs his shoulders in a way one could interpret it as a stretch or an addition to the reply.
"Really? I'm just glad I met you guys," Tsuna says. He stares at where Fuuta had vanished, a smile still on his face. "I really like to think that we're like family now. All of us."
Strangely, there's no immediate reply like he expected. Tsuna turns to them, confused at the lack of an answer (and admittedly, feeling embarrassed that the words had slipped out of his mouth unattended) when Reborn whacks him on the head. Tsuna goes down easily and he looks up accusingly at Reborn, who shows no shame at all for his actions. As per usual.
"I got tired of waiting, Dame-Tsuna," Reborn says offhandedly.
"But we were just about to go!" He protests.
"Not fast enough," the hitman says, giving him a cheeky smirk from his place on top of the furniture.
Tsuna doesn't dare to grumble under his breath, his eyes widening when he sees a hand in front of him. His gaze follows up to meet its owner, and he sees Yamamoto's kind eyes first, before seeing an irritated Gokudera in the background.
"Thank you," Tsuna says as he accepts the hand. Yamamoto waves it off.
"It's the least I can do since you're helping us," Yamamoto says, giving Tsuna a wink. He's rather good at it, since Tsuna lacks subtlety in any actions that need stealth and some kind of discreet sign. It wasn't ideal for a to-be mafia boss, as much as he denied it, and Reborn gave him spartan training to fix the problem. Except that in the end, he'll still be Tsuna outside of all this crazy mafia stuff he was getting dragged back into each time.
"Right," he says. Eying his friends, they all simultaneously bow to Reborn, chorusing the same words in unison.
"Happy birthday Reborn! Please continue to take care of us from now on!" With his face to the ground, Tsuna grins. They hadn't planned this at all, but since he wasn't alone, it wasn't as bad as the first time he had told him the sentiment.
They straighten from their bow and Reborn stares at them. Was he surprised? Shocked? Thankful? Tsuna couldn't tell with his poker face, and before there was any replay, Bianchi arrives, wiping the atmosphere away with her suggestion to Reborn trying out her cake.
"Aniki!" Gokudera gasps, but it wasn't about his problem with his half-sister. No, she was wearing her goggles -- what they were all worried about was the edibility of the cake emitting purple fumes; a trademark of Bianchi's poison cooking.
"Sorry, but I can't eat cake. I'm only two years old," Reborn says, holding up two fingers.
Liar! Tsuna's mind shouts, but Bianchi looks disappointed, having to believe him completely. To be completely honest, Tsuna had said the age earlier this morning, but it was impossible for a baby to speak and they all knew it.
Unexpectedly, Nana sticks her head out from her side of the doorway. "Bianchi, you can't give it to Reborn yet! We have to finish dinner first!"
Tsuna silently hopes his mom's cooking would counteract the poison in Bianchi's. Or better yet, if she could unlearn the skill and switch between the two when the time came where it was absolutely necessary to whip poisoned food at a person. As Bianchi sighs at the loss of an opportunity, Reborn smirks.
Instantly, his guard is up, hoping that Reborn wouldn't say the words he thinks he was going to say.
"Don't worry Bianchi, Tsuna and his Guardians will finish the cake in my stead," Reborn reassures. Instead of looking reassured, Bianchi appears murderous and glares at them.
"It'll be a pleasure," she says, and Tsuna has to wonder why they're the target of her rage -- though he could understand the feeling of being rejected -- when the words register.
"Wait, everyone else is coming?!" He says incredulously.
"Of course! It's my birthday after all," Reborn replies.
"Argh, Reborn!" Tsuna whines. "You aren't having the game again this year, are you?"
"Tsuna, the game was pretty fun," Yamamoto says. He seems to forget that Tsuna nearly died the last time they played it. He glances at Gokudera for some much-needed support, but the silver-haired teen seems conflicted, so he decides to leave it be.
"...I'm going to help Kaa-san. Maybe watch over Lambo, I-Pin and Fuuta for me?" He asks. "If it isn't too much," he adds, for good measure.
"No Tenth! You can leave it to us!" Gokudera straightens, snapping out of his conflicted state.
"We can handle it, Tsuna," Yamamoto grins.
"Thank you," Tsuna says, smiling. He's glad to have such amazing friends.
Turning towards the kitchen, Tsuna's smile fades slightly, taking a turn for the bittersweet. He's worried, but he shouldn't be, not at all.
They'll remember, Tsuna tells himself. Even if it was just one person, it'll be enough. Just so he wasn't alone again.
"Kaa-san, do you need help with anything?" Tsuna asks, stepping closer to his mom. She's like a machine: quick and perfect, and for a brief second, he wonders why he even asked.
Nana smiles. "You can help set up the plates. Give the special occasion one to Reborn, won't you, Tsu-kun?"
Oh, so the birthday plate. Tsuna nods, gathering the plates and smiling. He forgot they had one, since they never seemed to use it...
• • •
They watch Tsuna move out of earshot before turning to the hitman.
"Reborn-san, why do you have paper flowers with you?"
"Yeah, they look pretty good! Do you know who did them?"
"Quiet down, and I'll tell you, since Dame-Tsuna won't say it himself..."
• • •
As Reborn had promised, all his friends arrive in good time, before all the food is properly set on the table. When Tsuna had begun unconsciously drifting towards the new arrivals, Nana shooed him off, telling him that she had it all under control and he had done enough.
"It's clear to see you want to see them, so go, Tsu-kun," she says with a slight shove.
"Thank you," Tsuna says, trying not to show how eager he was to greet them. It wasn't like he had ever felt it before -- there was a certain energy humming in the air, the way his Flames were calling, wanting a response from the others' to feel them rather than first see them.
As he came to a stop before the entryway, he gazed at the circle his friends had formed, their backs to him. The only exception was Hibari, standing to the side with his eyes closed. It was obvious to see that they didn't want anyone to listen in. Quieting his calling Flames, Tsuna knocked on the wall, gathering their attention immediately.
"Hey, are you guys going to have dinner?" He asks, smiling at them.
"Just discussing something, Tsuna!" Yamamoto says. Gokudera scowls and elbows him in the ribs. Tsuna winces, seeing how hard the jab must have been, but the baseball player doesn't even flinch.
"It's nothing to worry about, Tenth!" Gokudera says.
He pauses, thinking of the situation he was with Fuuta not even fifteen -- maybe twenty -- minutes ago. It wouldn't be fair if he discriminated his friends, would it? They always had the best intentions at heart.
So Tsuna lets the matter go, gesturing his friends to come with I'm to the kitchen.
"Food's nearly ready. Come and sit down," he says, turning away. There's a slight throb to his heart, but it's just a reminder that everyone has secrets, and he doesn't need to know every single one of them.
His friends follow, thanking him for inviting them to his house.
"It was very kind you, Sawada!" Ryohei says sincerely.
"Thank you, Bossu," Chrome says, her eye twinkling.
Hibari follows, trailing behind begrudgingly. Probably forced to come, Tsuna thinks. If ever had a birthday party, he wouldn't force anyone to come. Not that -- not that anyone would, would they?
"It's nothing since Reborn invited you guys," Tsuna says, trying to lighten his voice, and tells them to take a seat while he helps Nana bring the food out. They sit without any argument -- strange, but he lets it slide, smiling softly as his mom thanks him. "Is Kyoko and Haru not coming? We have room for more."
Ryohei shakes his head. "Girl's night out," he says sagely.
Tsuna does nothing more but raises an eyebrow, setting a plate of food down. "I see. But Chrome wasn't invited?"
"I wanted to be here," Chrome says quietly.
"I'm glad you are."
Chrome smiles at him and Tsuna is shooed to his seat by Nana: "You've already helped so much, Tsu-kun. We're just about ready, give me a few seconds."
As he sits, he gazes around, looking at all the familiar faces. Gokudera by his right, Yamamoto by his left. Chrome and Ryohei sit at the same side of the table, Ryohei sitting on Gokudera's right and Chrome on Yamamoto's left. He hadn't expected that Hibari would show, from where he was sitting at the far end, but there were quite a few faces missing for the large table, bought previously with their allowance saved up for it.
"Where are Lambo, I-Pin, and Fuuta?" He inquires, knowing that Bianchi had her own thing going on and preferred distance. Possibly creating the perfect gift for Reborn? He didn't know, since her love went to no bounds.
His friends give varying degrees of "I don't know" and Tsuna is about to stand, saying, "I'll go get them," when Gokudera abruptly stands, raising his hands.
"No!" He says. "I'll get them," he follows up quickly, bowing and escaping the room. Tsuna's brow wrinkles as he's gently pulled down and back to his sat by Yamamoto.
"Did -- did I do something?" He asks, and Yamamoto shakes his head.
"You didn't," he says. "Gokudera is just very kind."
Tsuna nods, but there's just something off. Something his friends aren't telling him, something he's being left out by everyone. He's suspicious, but he has no right to be.
They wouldn't remember. Would they? The thought makes his stomach churn in what he thinks is apprehension, but from the way his friends act and move, Tsuna pushes the thought away.
• • •
Dinner comes and goes easily, and unsurprisingly, Reborn has an announcement to make. Silently, Tsuna hopes it's not another one of his games, since he would rather not die, but knowing Reborn -- and knowing that he wouldn't know what he was thinking was... not fun, to say the least. His palms felt clammy when they really shouldn't have been.
It's just a birthday speech, he tells himself. There's nothing wrong with a birthday speech.
The room quiets when Reborn begins to speak, but while it was expected for him to make a speech, what was unexpected were the words coming out of his mouth.
"Today, I turn two," Reborn says, making a show of putting up two fingers. Tsuna tries not to screech the lies, but it isn't hard, with him biting his lower lip in apprehension hard enough his skin may break. "But tomorrow, it's Tsuna's birthday, so we'll postpone this celebration to tomorrow. And everyone will come, of course." An underlying threat is beneath the words for those absent, but that's not what Tsuna is focusing on.
The words repeat in his brain as Tsuna stares with his mouth parted open, the silence enveloping the room as Reborn turns to stare directly at him.
"Mafia bosses shouldn't be surprised, Tsuna," Reborn says. "I'm the world's greatest hitman; did you really think I would forget?"
"N-no." He has a hard time moving his mouth the way he wants to. "I just didn't think --" He swallows, ignoring the sting in his eyes. "I just didn't think you'd be the world's greatest tutor, too."
Reborn just lowers the fedora over his eyes, revealing the paper flowers he had given him this morning, tucked within the band. It seems so obvious, the fact he didn't notice is slightly jarring. But compared to this surprise, it was nothing at all.
All at once, his family and friends -- no, his family, all turn to him, and they smile.
"We'll be there, Tenth!" Gokudera says. "I'll get you the greatest birthday gift ever!"
"Yeah, so don't worry, we'll celebrate your birthday right!"
"It'll be the EXTREMEST birthday!" Ryohei laughs. "Kyoko and Haru will be there too!"
"I'm glad we'll be celebrating together, Bossu," Chrome says.
"I'll tolerate crowding this once, herbivore," Hibari tells him with a glare.
Tsuna shakes his head, his lips breaking into a smile. "There are so many things you can give me, but this... this is the best gift I can ever have, right here." His voice cracks between the words, making them more vulnerable than he ever could've thought. Then, he ducks his head down to his hands and cries, feeling a warmth blossom within him as his family crowds around, reaching out to comfort him.
• • •
Tomorrow, they would host a birthday party with no shenanigans. There would be a beautiful orange-frosted birthday cake, which belonged to him, presented by the children. The large words Happy Birthday! would be written on it, with bright candles, made by his own mom, who would kiss his forehead and whisper a soft apology. She would tell him that she baked it with all her love, and for all those years she had unfortunately forgotten. She would tell him that she would never forget.
(Later, his friends would tell him his eyes were brighter than any candle when Nana lit the candles before him, shining and as bright as a bonfire).
Tsuna would close his eyes and hold his breath. Then, he would blow with his next wish hidden by the cheers of everyone invited in his room.
The candles went out, and instead of an awaiting darkness and oblivion, he was surrounded with the warmth of his family in the bright and cheery atmosphere of the living room. They would present him with gifts, despite his words yesterday. Lambo, I-Pin and Fuuta would give him the card they had been working on in secret. Gokudera with a photo album and Yamamoto with a camera. Chrome with a chain, Ryohei with a ring. Bianchi would supply him with clothes, and Nana would give him a locket. Reborn would give him a journal, knowing of his nightmares. All their gifts connected, in some way, all the way back to him.
But it was the blown-out candles before him, reminding him of his birthday wish, years ago. He'd think of his wish fondly, like a distant memory. Then, he would realize:
Wishes do come true.