A/N
Do you want more Brendon/Matt content before the end of the book? I think in the next 10 chapters will be the end so I want to know if I need to pack a lot more BxM into the story?
Brendon
"He didn't rape me if that's what you're thinking." I hug the pillow tighter to my chest, unable to look at the alluring man sitting cross-legged in front of me. "Well not entirely." I buried my face in Matt's pillow, sniffing the strong sent of him. "I told him he could 'Make me feel blissful' as he told me." Tears prickled at my eyes but I hold them at bay.
"How old were you?" Matt asked.
"I was eight years old."
I watched Matthew's jaw clench. His balled his fists and bared his teeth at me. "That's fucking sick!" He hissed, eyes growing dark and not like earlier.
I scoffed and agreed.
"I didn't know what he meant, all he said was; 'don't worry, you little shit, it'll feel like the best thing ever.' I agreed because he never did anything nice to me so I thought it was a new start and I was petrified to say no." Matt probably thought I was a freak, agreeing to something like that. He probably thought I stupid, naive and foolish.
"That monster took advantage of you! When I see him I'll rip his fucking throat out-"
"You're too late. My father is dead, I would know," The hell, I just told Matt my biggest secret I have nothing to hide. "I'm the one who murdered him."
Matt's eyes grew wide, like he didn't expect me to be capable of murder.
"How?" I wasn't expecting that answer. I know Matt didn't want to pity me because he knew that isn't what I needed but I still could see the raw emotion in his hazel eyes, it made me shift in my spot.
"I ran him over with a car I stole. And before you judge me or ,fuck, before you kick me out after saying you never wanna see me again, you should know one more thing..." I sighed. I was really doing this. It felt good to rant about all this, the stuff that had been weighing me down my whole life. I was relived to get these secrets off my chest. "I'm an alcoholic like my father was."
Matthew looked at me for a moment, like he was wondering if I was kidding him. I wish I was.
All influenced by my late and not so great father.
"You're seriously an alcoholic?" I nodded. "Since when?" Again, he was asking the questions I didn't expect for him to care about.
"16 and cigarettes since 14." The shame in my voice was clear. "It help, you know, with everything going on, it took my mind off my father and his constant sex worker filled home and my mother battling with lung cancer." I was finding myself opening up about all my problems without really thinking twice about it. It was so easy to just sit here, hugging a pillow that was drenched in the sent of Matthew, spilling out every tormenting, horrid or simply fucked up memory like it was just a normal dally conversation between two pals.
Matt had asked me if my father did it again and I slowly and shamefully nodded.
"Every second Wednesday when his girlfriend was working a double at the strip bar a few blocks away." Matts face fell as did my stomach. I needed to continue speaking. I needed to tell him everything because if I didn't that would be one more thing to tear me up inside. "He'd call me into his room after dinner, I thought this was normal! I thought what he was doing to me until the age of 12 wasn't a crime but normal thing for fathers and sons to do together, and for us it was."
"I wanna hug you." Matt stated with sorrow eyes. His jaw was clenched in a hot way but his eyes were soft. I simply nodded and soon felt strong but lean arms engulf my small body.
His arms felt natural to be in, like I was made for the single purpose to fit against his chest perfectly. Like two puzzle pieces. I felt warm and safe with the limbs wrapping around me like a baby koala to its mother. I felt at home.
"You don't have to continue if you don't want to, kitten."
"No, no, I need to." Matt pressed his lips to my temple, lovingly.
"Whatever you need." I smile and nuzzled nose against his, acting like the kitten he referred to me as.
"It wasn't until I was twelve I saw the news on TV. A boy only three years older then me had raped his nine year old step sister.it was then I realised what my dad was doing to me, I had no idea. That night it was the second Wednesday so when he called me in I refused. He got made and kicked me out on the streets. I took refuge at my best friend Chloe's house. Her older brother Ricky got me into alcohol and cigarettes, he tried to get me into drugs too but that was one step to far for my liking. Ricky was only two years older then me and not horrible looking.
"Well we started dating but he overdosed three years into our relationship and Chloe and I had drifted apart once I got into cigarettes the year prior so once again I had no where to live. You're not going to like what I'm about tell you."
Matt growled like he knew what was coming.
"I sold my body so I could survive."
"You're right," Matt growled like a wolf. "I didn't like what you just told me." He pushed me face first into the mattress, again kissing my ass cheeks possessively. "Not one bit, kitten."
"It was the one thing I was good at."
"That's not true, though you are extremely talented if last night was anything to go by, kitten." I moan and jutted my butt up for more attention. "Not right now, kitten. Let's just relax." He spanked my ass firmly and pulled me up again. He pulled the covers over us and held me close. "Then later I can show you what happened last night?" He played with the short hair on the nape of my neck, pulling my head into his chest.
"I'd like that. I'd like that a lot."