I don't even know how much time I've spent just rolling around in my bed. This has got to be some sort of record. I remember it was still Thursday night when I changed into a shirt and boxers, but I wouldn't be surprised if the sun came out in a matter of minutes.
After the first half hour, I decided to get up and read a few pages of the book I got assigned to read for my minor Lit class, I had about 150 pages left to read. I was sure I'd fall asleep out of pure boredom after like ten pages.
I ended up finishing the entire book. Then I went to bed to try and fall asleep again, but after forty minutes of tossing and turning like a fish out of water, I got up again. This time I decided to start the essay on the book that I'd read, it had to have at least 2.000 words, our professor told us. I figured, I definitely couldn't finish it in one night, but it would at least wear me out.
Now here I am, lying in bed with my laptop, proofreading the 3.441 word long essay for the fifth time. I think it's time I seriously consider asking Seth for sleeping pills.
My head falls backwards against the headboard, and I take a deep breath as I close the laptop without shutting it down, hell, I didn't even close the file. I dint even save it. And it concerns me that I don't give a damn about it.
I run a hand through my hair, pushing the laptop to the side so I could lie down again. I didn't bother checking the time while my computes was on, but I think I have about two hours to sleep before getting up for school.
Just as I'd laid my head on my pillow, I hear vibrating coming from my end table, and open my eyes to send a murderous look its way. It's probably around six in the morning, who would want to fuck with me now?
I reach out for my phone, and the question I've asked myself earlier seems stupid now as I read the name that's written on the screen. There's really no one else who would decide to text me at 4:31 in the morning.
By the way, six and a half hours. Six and a half hours I have wasted trying to fall asleep by doing things. That's definitely a record.
From: Angel
i'm sorry.
I breathe out a puff of air, and sit up so my back is against the board behind me. It's nearly dawn, why did I think her message would make any sense?
To: Angel
what for?
From: Angel
for making you leave on saturday.
Another sigh leaves my lips; at least it's starting to make some sense.
To: Angel
nothing to be sorry about.
From: Angel
i just panicked. i didn't want you to see me like that
To: Angel
i can tell why
From: Angel
no, not because i looked like shit, i knew you'd get worried and i didn't want you to.
To: Angel
i'm always going to worry about you.
From: Angel
i know. and i don't want you to
Well, if I got injured in any way, I know I'd want her to worry about me. Purely because it's me that's hurt, and I would want that to mean something to her. Even though we obviously feel different about the whole thing.
To: Angel
you never tell me anything, of course i'm gonna worry about every damn thing.
From: Angel
but you don't have to, honestly. there's nothing that i can't handle by myself and i feel bad when you're worried for nothing
I shake my head as I stare at the bright screen of my phone, barely fighting the urge to throw it at a wall. She just doesn't get it, does she?
To: Angel
it's not nothing when you're getting hurt god dammit why do you not understand
From: Angel
i know what it looks like, but i know what i'm doing ok? i'm not ten
Scratching the back of my neck, I purse my lips, and look around; she'd tell me if it was something serious, right? Not even necessarily me, but someone, anyone, she'd speak about it, wouldn't she?
To: Angel
yeah, you're right. no ten year olds arse is as stubborn as yours
At least the conversation is going a different way now.
From: Angel
why did 'arse' just make me laugh
To: Angel
because you're an arsehole
From: Angel
alright, i deserve that. is there a possibility that you aren't as angry anymore?
It feels weird when I think about it now, but in a way, I've expected this. I expected her to hide things from me, and the reason I got upset is because it's been going on for longer that I would have wanted it to. And the mature thing to do now would be to explain that to her, and then we finally might make some progress here.
To: Angel
no. i hate you
From: Angel
i'll take that as a yes then
To: Angel
fuck you
From: Angel
that reminds me, do you want to come to my place tomorrow?
To: Angel
how did 'fuck you' remind you to invite me over
To: Angel
nevermind. i figured it out
From: Angel
hahah don't get too excited, i just want to see you. and talk to you. and it's friday so you can come right after school.
Is it just me or does something bad happen whenever she wants to 'see me'?
To: Angel
are you sure you want me there?
From: Angel
i always want you here. even when i don't.
From: Angel
do you want to be here though?
What a question, I think to myself as I snort and shake my head. I type a reply back, not even bothering to answer her question properly.
To: Angel
i'll come at around four, okay?
From: Angel
okay.
I feel like I needed this to happen so I could finally go to sleep.
*******
"Are you even listening to me?" I wince in my seat, as Seth's voice becomes about ten times louder than three seconds ago. I slide my hands from my face to my hair, looking at him from between my wrists.
"I am," I lie, "I'm just really tired. So sorry for the lack of response."
To my surprise, Seth lets it slide and just looks down at his toasted sandwich, picking at the crust of it. "Did you hear from her? You know, since Saturday?" He asks awkwardly; meddling, or just asking about his friends' relationships has never been his cup of tea. Sure, he'd tease the guys – mostly me, of course – about the girls that we like, but it never went past that.
"Yeah, she texted me last night," I tell him shortly. "I'm gonna see her today."
He nods, and leans back in his chair. "That's good, right?"
"I hope so," I chuckle, to hide how nauseous I feel about seeing her. Not in a bad way, of course, I just don't know what to expect after last time. "She invited me to her place."
"Oh," Seth says, the tone of his voice killing all of the tension between us. "Maybe she wants to make it up to you." I forgot to mention; besides teasing, making sexual innuendos is another thing he likes doing when the topic is relationships.
"I doubt it," I say, with a small smile. "That's too predictable for her."
"Well, you never know," He shrugs, and I shake my head; he's just not going to drop it. "She might open the door in a French maid costume, and then spank you with her duster."
I blink at him a couple of times, wondering how in the world can he be so calm while I'm trying not to piss myself laughing. "Kinks aren't really my thing, but thanks for that image," I say through a light laugh, rubbing my eyes again. I might just ask her to take a nap on her sofa.
"Anytime." He winks at me and I shake my head again; what a fucktard. I'm so lucky to have him as my friend.
"Niall?" I look up to my left, having to blink a few times to make sure I'm not hallucinating. This is the person that called me, right? "Hi." Looks like she is.
"Hi, Leanne." I clear my throat, giving her a smile, hoping that I don't have any ketchup around my mouth from that sandwich Seth bought for both of us. She smiles back too, glancing at Seth as if not being happy that he's here too.
"You know what?" He starts, as if on cue, and picks his backpack up from the end of the table. "I just remembered I have a thing to do. I'll catch up with you later."
He pats me on the back as he scurries past me, and I'm regretting that I said I'm lucky to have him as my friend. I look over to my left again, to see Leanne already sat next to me. "Hi," I say stupidly, again. "What brings you here?"
"Uh, I wanted to talk to you." She gives me another tight smile, clutching an envelope of some sort in her hands.
"About what?" I take my can of Arizona from the table, turning to her again. I haven't really seen her at all, since she gave me a piece of her mind about a month ago. And I still don't know if I'd done the right thing by fucking up our 'relationship' back then.
"Well, I've been thinking," She tells me, licking her lips, her voice a pitch higher. "I'm- I'm just gonna go straight to the point, alright?"
I raise my eyebrows, giving her a small nod. "You know, I... I want you in my life." She pauses, looking for a reaction of some sort, but I don't really know how to react to that. "As a friend."
"Oh," I say, kind of breathing out the word, but then frown at her. "How come?"
"I just can't help thinking, we were really good friends, before we tried to turn that friendship into something that obviously wouldn't have worked," She rambles, smiling a little in the end. "You know, we used to study together, go to class together, have coffee together, and I, I miss that."
I shift in my seat, nodding a few slow times. "Okay."
"Is 'okay' really all you have to say?"
I chuckle as her voice becomes monotone, only one of her eyebrows raised at me. "No, I feel the same. You were my only nerd friend that actually liked talking about nerdy things."
"Thanks," She presses her lips in a tight line, smiling at me, even thought that 'thanks' was obviously sarcastic. "So... coffee after class? We'll talk about comic books and arcade games."
"No, I'm actually busy today," I tell her, and grin when she rolls her eyes. "As appealing as that sounds, I'm honestly busy. We can go out tomorrow, I can make it up to you."
I'm completely sure that Seth would have a comment if he'd heard me say that. "Alright, that sounds good," Leanne sighs, looking down at her envelope again. "Well, here you go."
I frown, slowly taking the white object from her as she hands it to me. "What's this?"
"Those are two tickets," She starts slowly, "For a 5SOS gig."
"What the hell is a 5SOS?"
"5 Seconds Of Summer, remember?" She pulls her phone out, and I nod in realization, seeing the four names on her green phone case. "I thought you'd decline my friendship offer, so I was gonna bribe you with those. And now it would be stupid if I kept them for myself."
I nod firmly, flipping the envelop in my hands. She even cared enough to put them in an envelope. Aw. "Well, thanks. That's really nice of you."
"I'm guessing you're still seeing that girl?" She leans her head to the left, and it takes me a second to remember that she knows about Angel.
"Yeah, I am. Sort of. Nothing exclusive."
"Well, anyway, you can take her to the gig," She smiles. "She looked like someone who would go crazy at a concert."
I chuckle, and place the tickets on the table in front of me. "Are they any similar to The 1975?"
She scrunches her nose and shrugs, "I've heard of them, but never really bothered to listen to them."
"Yeah," I mumble, "Me neither. But she really likes them, so..."
Leanne nods, picking her bag up as she starts getting up. Oh thank God. "Well, I'll see you around, alright?"
"Yeah. Tomorrow. You have my number." She giggles as I stumble over my words, and gives me a small wave before leaving. I look over at the envelope on the table; whatever happens today, I'm definitely going to use them as an excuse to see Angel again.
*******
The wooden door opens, and I can't fight back a smile; since Seth had gotten that image of the very girl standing in front of me wearing a maid costume, I find it funny that she's wearing her usual black skinny jeans and an oversized, white AC/DC shirt. It must be really warm in her apartment, based on her choice of clothing.
Although the reason I'm really smiling, is because her face looks normal; it took me a few seconds to notice that she's wearing make-up, but at least her eyes and lips look normal.
"Hi," She interrupts my thoughts, leaning against the door frame, giving me the smallest of smiles. "You're here."
"Yeah," I breathe out; the stairs really wore me out. And I might have to ask someone for a good orthopedist. "Can I come in?"
Angel nods, taking a step back, the wooden floor creaking under her bare feet. "Do you want anything to drink?" She asks as she closes the door, walking toward the kitchen.
"A beer would be-"
"No."
I chuckle to myself, leaning against the frame of the door that leads to the kitchen, like she did a minute ago. "Do you have any Coke?" I say as I walk into the room, standing beside her to look in her fridge too. She bends over at my question, her body at a right angle as she takes another look.
"Uh, well, I have Pepsi. And Cherry Coke, if you'd like. I had Coke Zero until last week, then I forgot- Niall?" I only avert my eyes to hers when she stands up, a skeptical look in her eyes. "Did you even hear anything of what I've said?"
"Hm?" I say stupidly, shrugging as she cracks a smile. "Yeah, 'course I did."
"Yeah," She mocks me, leaning her body on her right leg as she watches me. "Of course you did. I saw what you were looking at."
"Well, in my defense, how can I not?" I shrug again, a little relieved when she laughs lightly. "Now bend over and look at the soda again, I wasn't done looking."
She laughs harder and bends over again – only for a couple of seconds this time. "Here you go," She practically drops a Cherry Coke in my hands, and I give her a tight smile as she walks out of the room. I deserve that, given that she'd literally just caught me ogling at her ass.
"Thanks," I mumble, opening the can, and following her out. She's sitting on the sofa in the middle of the room when I walk into the living room, and I sit next to her too, after I take my backpack off and toss it on the ground.
"Do you know if there's anything interesting on TV?" Angel asks, flipping the channels, barely even looking at me. Instead of asking her if the only reason she'd called me over was so we'd watch TV, I look at the clock on the wall.
"Well, a rerun of last night's episode of Dawson's Creek started at four," I say slowly, my voice low, and I can see her smile as she turns her head to me, even though I'm still looking at the clock.
"Dawson's Creek, really?" She says, turning her attention to the TV again, which gives me a chance to look down at her. "That's a surprise. I took you more as a person who would watch The Big Bang Theory."
"Oh, I love The Big Bang Theory," I comment as I look at the TV myself, having her chuckle again. "I just can't remember when it's on." After a few moments of just staring at whatever that's on, I furrow my eyebrows, and look down at Angel again. "Did you really call me only so we'd watch television?"
She sighs, and lifts her hand in the air to mute the TV. "No. Obviously not," She says, shifting so both her legs are on the couch, and looks down at her fidgeting hands. Oh, this doesn't sound promising. "I kind of, wanted you-"
"Wait," I cut her off, having her look up at me as I reach for my backpack. "Before you say anything, I..." I pause, until I've gotten the envelope out. "I have two tickets for this gig, it's on Wednesday, and starts at 7:30."
Angel blinks a couple of times, a confused look on her face while a nervous one is on mine. "So... now you can say whatever you wanted to say, but just so you know, you still have to see me on Wednesday."
The look in her eyes soften, only for a moment or so. "Alright," She nods, "As I was saying, I wanted you... to tell me why."
I furrow my eyebrows this time, completely lost; I was expecting something like 'I wanted you to show yourself out of my life', after all. "Why... what?"
"Why do you care this much?" She finally cracks, sounding like she's just said the words she's been dying to say for years. "You, I've... I've never had someone like you in my life, and it's just, it's confusing."
I smile at her frustration, and shake my head as an answer. "I like you. That's it, it's that simple."
"Yeah, but why?" She asks again, her tone making me laugh. "It's obvious that I'm not the kind of person you would-"
"Exactly," I interrupt her, before she could go on with this nonsense. "You're not the kind of person I would... date, be friends with, or even talk to. That's what makes everything so interesting, the fact that you're nothing like anyone I've met before."
She raises her eyebrows at my simple explanation, and I can tell she's fighting a smile. "I've just... never had a guy care for me as much as you do," She tells me quietly.
"You know what?" I begin as I leave the envelope next to my can of Coke, and scoot closer to Angel. "I've never really cared for a girl as much as I care about you."
It's not like I've never had a girlfriend; and it's not like I've never had a relationship that lasted more than just a few months. And even though she isn't my girlfriend, nor have we been seeing each other for that long, I know that forgetting about her would be the hardest thing I'd have to do.
To my slight surprise, Angel narrows her eyes at me, and looks like she's inspecting my face. "And... you're okay with me hiding things from you?"
"No, of course not. That kills me. But it's also the only downside of this," I gesture between us, "And I'm not gonna throw everything away because you can't open up to me yet."
She cracks another smile at my words, smiling for the first time after what feels like hours. "I like how you used 'yet' there."
"Yeah, me too," I nod in agreement, "I like it too. Gives me hope."
Angel's smile widens, and she leans up to give me a kiss that I wasn't expecting, but was sure as hell hoping for. It starts out slow, but then she puts her hand on the back of my neck, pulling me down to her, her fingers slipping into my hair. I groan quietly as she tugs at my hair, feeling her smile in satisfaction into our kiss. She bites my lower lip lightly, pulling away a bit so she could kiss me at a different angle, my lip still between her teeth.
This is insane, this is absolutely insane, her kisses are insane and they're driving me insane. It's borderline addictive and I don't know what I'd do if one day I had to live without this, without her; I'd probably go insane all the way.
Much sooner than I would have wanted her to, she pulls away, and just stares at me for a few moments, our faces barely three inches apart. She has this cocky, triumphant expression on her face, while I don't know if I look like I just won a million dollars, or like I'm gonna pass out any moment now. I feel like both, that's for sure.
"Jesus Christ," I breathe out, putting and end to our little staring contest – which she'd obviously won – and turn my head away from hers so that I can breathe properly. "You kiss like this is our last day on Earth."
Even when I'm not looking at her, I can tell that she's got that smirk on her face. "I don't kiss any other way, Niall."
She leans up again, pressing her satan lips against my cheek. "That's another little thing to give you hope." She smiles and shifts closer to me, laying her head on my chest and looking at the TV, like nothing had just happened. I keep watching the side of her head, biting the inside of my cheek so I'd keep my mouth shut. And somehow, I manage to succeed at that.
But in all honesty, I have never been as tempted to tell a person I'm in love with them as I am now.
*******
it's four in the morning and i can barely remember the names of the characters. i'll also dedicate the chapter to someone tomorrow but please, vote and comment! and tell me what you think of everything so far! i'm so excited for the next chapter omg i can't wait for you guys to read it :D i love you all so much x