I look myself in the mirror. My fingers trace the bags under my eyes.
Last night was strangely the best nights sleep I've had in a long time. Just being close to Brad again was so comforting and I felt so content.
I woke up early and went to the toilet. James didn't come back to the dorm last night but it didn't matter because Brad and I slept in his bed as close together as we could possibly as though it was the last night we're going to see each other. I really hope it isn't.
Knowing how bad he was coping with the break up really struck me and I felt so awful about myself because I never thought about how he felt or how he was dealing with himself. I was so caught up in how I felt.
With a quiet sigh, I spin on my heel and open the bathroom door to see Brad sat on the edge of his bed with his head in brad in his hands as he tugs in his hair with a frustrated sigh.
"Brad? What's wrong?" I ask quietly as I move closer to him, and his head snaps up as he lets out a sigh of relief. I sit next to him on the bed, my hand slowly rubbing circles on his back.
"I thought you'd left," he whispers back pulling me closer. I climb on to his lap so that a leg is on either side of him, holding him closely to me with my hands on his cheeks.
I brush my nose against him, closing my eyes, "I'm not gonna leave you alone ever again, Brad."
"Don't make a promise you can't keep," he shakes his head, his hands on my waist and his thumbs circling lightly on my waist. "I've been alone my whole life and I'm not expecting you to change that, baby."
"It doesn't have to stay like that," I counter, opening my eyes and shifting my head away from his slightly. His eyes never left my face. "I'm not going to leave you, okay? I love you."
He closes his eyes with a small smile tracing his lips, "I love you, too. You don't know how nice it is to hear you say that."
"I love you," I repeat, pressing a light kiss to his lips. "I love you."
"I'm so sorry I ruined everything," a sigh escapes his lips. "I made the one person I love think that I used them. I'm so fucking stupid."
"It's fine," I press a kiss to his cheeks, his nose, his lips. "You're new to this. You didn't know what else to say in that situation and we both know you messed up but it's fine now. I forgive you."
He smiles in relief and I just hold him close, then. I hold him close because his touch is calming and something that I had missed. I hold him close because I realise now that anything could happen that could stop us from being together and I want to treasure every moment with him. I hold him close because I can.
We don't move for a long time, we just sit there close together, occasionally kissing and eventually we end up laying on Brad's bed again, our heads resting on the pillows.
One of my hands was underneath me while the other traces small circles on Brad's cheeks as his eyes bore into mine.
"I've got my final exam on Monday," he says quietly. "It's the practical one, the one where people can come and watch. Do you wanna come and watch me?"
"Of course I will," I smile softly, pressing a kiss to his lips and he moves me closer to him so that my head is resting on his chest. "What time is it?"
"Twelve," he replies immediately. "I, uh, I wrote some songs while we were on break. I think I'm gonna perform one of them at the exam."
"What's it called?" I ask him.
"Worry," he tells me. "I wrote quite a few songs while we were on our break, actually."
"Sing me one?"
"No," he laughs awkwardly. "I don't wanna move, I'm comfortable here."
"Okay," I shrug, taking his hands in mine. "I don't mind staying here all weekend, cuddled up with you."
"Good," he whispers, pulling me up so that I'm sat on top of him and I laugh as he sits up. He doesn't say anything, do anything, his eyes just looking over my face.
"What are you doing?" I ask, brushing my hands through his hair.
"I just wanna stare at your face all weekend. I missed it," he admits and I press a kiss to his lips. We were being so sentimental and I didn't mind at all.
His hands were on my waist as our lips moved in sync. His touch was firm yet gentle, something Brad had mastered overtime. He pulled me closer and closer and my arms wrapped around his neck as I take in every sensation shooting through my body. Only he could make me feel like this.
My hands slow reach towards the shirt he was wearing it, going to tug it off but he quickly moved his lips away. I frown, shuffling off of him, hurt by the minor rejection.
"No," he shakes his head. "I can't have sex with you. I don't deserve it after these past few weeks."
I sigh, pressing a kiss to his lips and climbing off of his lap, "I already told you that I forgive you. Stop blaming yourself, please. It'll ruin you."
"How can I not blame myself when it is my fault?" He counters. "I was an idiot, I said stupid shit and then I lost you because of it."
"And you've got me back again," I say back, my voice as gentle as his hold on my hand. "Because I've forgiven you, and now you need to forgive yourself."
He shakes his head, "Margo, you're too good for me."
I smile stretches on to my face as he presses a kiss to my nose, my cheek, my lips. He continues to pepper kisses over my face until I let out a giggle and he moves away.
"Thank you."
"For what?"
"Forgiving me. Being here with me right now. Everything before and for everything that's going to come afterwards."
I run my fingers through his hair as he leans above me, his hands on my waist, "I love you."
"I love you, too."
♡
"Babe," Brad whispers, waking me up. I groan and turn away from him but he only chuckles. "Babe, you need to wake up. We're going out today."
"I don't want to. The bed's too comfortable," I mumble back and I wait for a response but there isn't one. I frown and turn to see Brad but he's already lifting me up out of bed. "Put me down you bafoon!"
"I told you that you had to get up so I'm forcing you out of bed," he announces, putting me on the floor and standing me in front of him. He was already dressed, his hair done and his shoes on. "I went and got you some clothes from your dorm. Now get a shower, we've got half an hour before we leave."
"I hate you," I mutter under my breath and he grins, pressing a kiss to my lips. "I'm serious! Don't kiss me."
"Your loss," he smirks as I walk past. He slaps my arse and I try and shoot him a glare but we both end up laughing. "Hurry up, babe."
"It's too early to be up this early."
"It's one in the afternoon."
"Is it?"
"No, I lied," Brad drawls sarcastically and I flip him the middle finger before grabbing my clothes and changing in the bathroom after I've had a shower. I do my hair and slip on my shoes before joining Brad shin.
"Are you ready to go?"
"Where are we even going?" I answer with another question while I grab his varsity jacket that he owns. He puts his arm over my shoulder comfortably as we exit the dorm and he locks it before turning away to leave.
"I just wanted to get out of the dorm," he shrugs. "I thought we could just go to town and have something to eat? Walk around?"
"I don't mind," I smile as I take his hand that's dangling off of my shoulder into my hand nearest to his and press a kiss to it. "As long as I'm with you."
We don't say anything on the way down. We just stay silent and enjoy each other's presence because it was satisfying and comforting. After our long few weeks, it's was perfect.
unedited.