The only place where she could now live seemed to be back in England. Even if she had to face the abuse of the Duke, she was known there.
Cared for by Nora, Edward and Richard.
That was enough for her and in time, they could ease the pain deep in her heart.
At least, she hoped.
Completely numb, she stared down at the well. She didn't want to jump back but she didn't really think she had a choice. This wasn't home anymore. She didn't have a physical home, either. She hesitated, only for a moment; did jumping back in necessarily mean she would be taken back? What if the well had lost its powers, if that was what this was? What if it took her to a different timeline where there was no Duke? What did all of this mean?
Nalini found that she didn't want to know, nor did she care. She just wanted to leave this place behind. This country that she could no longer be in.
She pushed herself off the edge and into the freezing cold water, her muscles stiff. She didn't know if it would work again and she would go back, but she prayed it did. It was the first time she was praying to go back to where the Duke was. It was funny how life worked.
Pushing herself up from the water with a gasp, she managed to climb the short well and pull herself over.
It took a lot of upper body strength and it broke her nails in the most disgusting manner, blood all over her fingers. But she didn't care.
Mostly, she didn't feel the pain. She walked mindlessly under the rain, her feet taking her to someplace she didn't know. Since she only ever went places in the Duke's carriage, she didn't know where to go besides the well.
And there was no way she was going back to the well ever again. As her hair matted to her face and the rain ran down her face and into her mouth, her pace slackened. She wanted to drop onto the floor in front of everyone and bawl her eyes out.
Busy, almost frantic people, pushed past her to get away from the rain. The loud braying of horses trying to get away from the cold attack of droplets was an abrupt push back to her reality now. It seemed like the only option then was to sob.
An option to get rid of the pain that threatened to tear her heart apart.
"Miss Nalini?"
A familiar deep voice rang out in the silent night.
Nalini lifted her head up to see Edward holding onto the other side of the door, dressed as if he was going out.
She wanted to ask where he was going and if she was delaying him, but she couldn't find the strength within her to speak.
His concerned green eyes lit up in the dark atmosphere, peering into her own.
"Dear God, you are completely drenched!" he exclaimed, worry lines appearing between his eyebrows as he took in the state she was in.
Hearing the accent and different manner of speaking both relieved her and caused her stomach to stiffen. She didn't know what to do with herself.
Seemingly because she didn't say a word, Edward gently pushed her inside. Somehow she had walked to Edward's house, though in her mind she really didn't recall ever knowing the address. He clicked his fingers and immediately a maid rushed over and hurried her to the bathroom to get her a change of clothes and to dry her hair.
She wanted to dispute but she couldn't. She didn't care enough to. As she was brought down, Edward urged her to sit down on one of the seats.
"You came just in time, Miss Nalini! The Duke had come to search for your whereabouts and as you could see, I was getting ready to search for you." She said nothing.
He sat opposite her, leaning forward a little to encourage her to say something.
"Come, Miss Nalini, please share your thoughts. Your shaken state has worried me to a large extent."
Nalini confirmed by his distressed tone that he was in misery.
It comforted her pained heart a little, but it wasn't enough to soothe it.
She remained silent.
What she couldn't stand more wasn't just that she didn't exist, but also the fact that her parents weren't even together. She was glad they were alive, but they weren't together.
Alive together.
Being happy together as she knew and remembered them to be in her memories when she was younger. It killed her.
"Miss Nalini, whatever has happened has clearly upset you. We must get you to the Duke as he must be very concerned."
Edward got up to retrieve his coat but she got up, suddenly stopping him. She shook her head, tightly kept tears slowly trailing down causing Edward's frown to deepen. He trailed her features carefully, his lips tightening.
"Please, don't do that. I don't want to go back to him. I can't go back, he'll fire me," she whispered painfully.
Edward furrowed his eyebrows as if he didn't understand the way she was speaking.
"He will not."
"No, he will, Edward. He'll find someone else to take my position because I've disobeyed him so many times."
He smiled gently, easing her worries without so much as lifting a finger.
"The Duke will do no such thing, I assure you. I shall have a talk with him so he understands that you were in no good state of mind when doing what you did."
He placed a gentle hand over hers and peered into her eyes, his face softening at the pained expression on Nalini's face.
"It'll be all right, Miss Nalini, do not worry."
Without another word, he went to guide her out the front door when Landon came through the front door.
He took off his hat and placed it on a small table beside the door.
Upon laying eyes on Nalini, his eyes glinted mischievously and almost dangerously. His lips curved up into an amused grin.
"My, oh my, if it isn't the infamous Miss Chandhy?"
He then looked at Edward who had stiffened beside her, his hold on her back tightening slightly.
"And where is it you think of taking her, dear brother? Might you need some accompaniment? Or perhaps I could be of use and take her myself?"
Edward's face took on a more serious expression, as did the tone of his voice as he said, "I am perfectly capable of escorting Miss Nalini myself but I appreciate your offer nevertheless."
"What's with the formal manner of speaking, brother?" he mocked.
As Landon stalked closer towards Nalini, she stiffened and unintentionally stepped closer towards Edward.
He leaned forward, his lips near her ear. Edward tried to intervene but he held up his hand and shot a venomous, threatening look towards him.
He then looked at Nalini again.
"If you ever feel as if that employer of yours is not treating you right, then you should come straight to me. I reside not too far from here, you see, and I even visit my dear brother on weekends. I shall make sure you are treated as a lady should be treated," he said, with a smirk.
Nalini gulped and shook her head stiffly, staring at the front door in an attempt to not try and hit the haughty man.
He clicked his tongue in irritation.
"My, you're a quiet one aren't you? And here I was, hoping there would be some signs of the witty, fiery woman I had seen just the other day."
With a sigh, he bowed his head a little, flashing his pearly whites at her. "Yet, I still seem drawn to you..."
Without another word, just a sly glance, he casually walked deeper into the house, removing his coat and disappearing behind another door.
If she was shaken up before, she was more so now. Edward let out an aggravated sigh beside her and looking up, his teeth were clenched tightly together.
"Do forget about his insolence. He may be my brother but he is not a very good man," he said, quickly guiding her to the carriage as if trying to get away from there.
She wasn't complaining, if anything, she couldn't be any gladder than she was then.
The ride there was silent, though Edward tried to include her in conversations, after everything, she just wasn't in the mood.
Edward seemed to catch on because he stopped trying, but kept glancing over to make sure she was all right.
That or he was afraid she was going to jump out of the carriage, but either way, she was glad he cared about her.
As they arrived at the manor, her heart caught in her throat and she began to quiver, unintentionally.
This had been the millionth time she had run away and there was no way he was going to let her off the hook this time.
She just had a gut feeling about that.
"Come," Edward urged, softly.
He offered her a gentle smile, one that was successful in comforting her. The door was opened by the man that usually did, and his eyes widened upon seeing her.
He ushered them in and quickly stepped aside as Edward strode towards the Duke's study. Nalini gulped and her heart echoed in her ears as they neared.
Edward knocked on the door, resulting in silence.
That was until a dark, angry 'Come in' rumbled from behind the closed door.
Walking in, the Duke sat at his chair, looking through a bunch of papers. His fixed and calculated stare disappeared as Edward walked in.
The Duke leaned back against his chair, casually resting one leg on the other, his black trousers tightening against his legs.
For some reason, he looked more than a little angry and it both scared and confused her.
"Mr Phillips," he greeted blandly in acknowledgement, inclining his head. For some reason, the hatred in his eyes didn't dissolve, even when looking at Edward. "What brings you here?"
"Mr Bradford." Edward inclined his head in return, ignoring the obvious fury that was resonating from the Duke. "You had come to my residence seeking Miss Nalini. Fortunately, I have found her but she's in a very bad state, I must say. She refused to speak a word."
Nalini poked her head out from behind Edward; The Duke's cold eyes immediately turned colder upon laying eyes on her. His blue eyes always turned dark when he was mad, and right then, they were midnight black as they narrowed dangerously into slits.
They never strayed from hers as Edward spoke once again and she could feel herself trembling at the intensity of his gaze. Even though she looked away, she could feel the holes he was burning through her head.
The Duke tilted his head mockingly. She could see the rage in his eyes and heard the bass in his voice as he spoke, "There's no need to worry, Mr Phillips. I know exactly what I am to do."
Edward bowed his head and Nalini stared at the side of his head with wide, desperate eyes. How did he not understand that the Duke was being sarcastic? Edward, oblivious to her urging gaze, offered her a gentle smile.
He held her hand and kissed it, softly, surprising her more than anything. "This is quite improper as you have no gloves but I was deeply worried. Now that you are in good hands, I need not fret unnecessarily. I hope you will get better quite soon and I will visit you shortly, Miss Nalini. I am glad you came to me."
Nalini couldn't help but smile at his kindness and almost cried all over again at his gesture. She nodded her head.
"Thank you," was the only thing she could manage, but it seemed to be enough because his smile brightened, lighting up his whole face.
It was after Edward's presence was gone that the tension in the room was felt once again and the anger in the room began to choke her. Now she regretted not running after Edward, and she even contemplated doing it now...but it was too late.
She stared at her muddy shoes from the rain and the small stems of grass stuck to it, refusing to look up despite knowing that the Duke's rage-filled eyes were on her. "I see you are on a first-name basis with Mr Phillips," he said in an accusatory tone. "And a kiss on the hand? Quite intimate, I'd say."
She twiddled with her fingers. "It wasn't intimate. He was just being polite. I don't think this is wrong if it was him that gave me permission to call him by his given name."
He scoffed mockingly and she could feel that she was in for another lecture.
"Oh, it is not wrong at all. No, what is wrong is that you run off again after I specifically warned you not to. You sneak out as if you are entitled to do so, for hours might I add, and return as you see fit. This is not appropriate behaviour and I have told you many times of the consequences that arise from doing such things."
"I had to go," she said, her voice trembling.
"Pardon?" he boomed, his deep voice filled with fury.
"I had to go," she said more loudly.
A pause filled the room before he spoke again, almost sarcastically as if he knew the answer.
"Had someone forced you to go? Were you threatened in some way? Was your life in any danger?"
The Duke tilted his head to the side in a mocking manner, eyes glinting with impatience as he stared at her. Nalini slowly shook her head, ashamed.
"Then you did not have to do anything!" he yelled, slamming his hand down on the desk in absolute rage.
She could hear the pure anger in his voice and through the heavy breaths that left him. For the first time, in front of the Duke, tears spilled over her cheeks. She sniffled and just shook her head over and over.
"Please stop," she whispered, choking on her words due to tears.
There was silence.
"Come," the Duke demanded with a frustrated sigh, his voice still harsh and ringing out with authority. Though embarrassed, she lifted her head up to see him motion with a finger to go to him.
He raised an eyebrow when she refused to move.
"Come and sit down." Annoyance radiated from his tone. She took slow steps before seating herself down on the velvet chair in front of him. A few seconds ticked by in silence as she tried to rid her cheeks of prickly hot tears streaming down endlessly.
Nalini watched as his face softened slightly, his eyes trailing her features carefully. He leaned forward, folding his hands on the desk in front of him.
"Tell me what happened."
Nalini shook her head and whispered, "I can't, Your Grace."
The softness in his face left him almost immediately and he impaled her with his hard gaze.
"Mr Phillips said you were in a bad state and as I am your employer, you are my responsibility. So I do not think you have a choice in the matter."
She shook her head again causing the Duke to take a sharp intake of breath in irritation. Nalini raised her head to see him massage the bridge of his nose, his blue eyes no longer on her face as it was shut tightly.
"You are testing my patience, woman. It was not a question, it was a demand," he snapped, his voice getting angrier by the minute.
With a seemingly composed sigh, he tried again. "What occurred whilst you were gone, Miss Chandhy?" he asked slowly as if she was a child.
Nalini stared at a point on his chest until he snapped his fingers at her. She looked up immediately, her eyes blurry with tears and as soon as she looked at him, she broke down instantly.
She didn't like it when he treated her like a child, but she didn't have the strength to fight him. It hurt even more at the fact that she couldn't tell anyone here without sounding like a crazy woman. As she cried, she still continued to shake her head as the tears endlessly began to stream down.
"I-I-I can't do this anymore, Your Grace. Please just find someone else in my place. Please," she sobbed, bending her head down so that he couldn't see her face.
Once again silence filled the room before a huge sigh erupted from the man opposite her.
"Alright, Miss Chandhy. Stop your crying, you have managed to give me a headache."
He rubbed his temples as he gazed at her, the rage and anger from before had disappeared in a matter of seconds. She sniffled as she gently swiped at her cheeks.
"I'm sorry, Your Grace. I'll take my leave." She stood up to leave.
He looked at her and leaned forward more, displeasure evident in his posture. "Excuse me?"
"I said I'm leaving. As in I quit, Your Grace." She hated the way her lips and voice wobbled.
At her announcement, the Duke leaned back slowly and simply observed her. Even without words, he managed to rile her up in the scariest ways.
He calmly took the glass of whiskey resting on his table and took a swallow, looking at her over the glass. "And where do you think you will go?" The Duke asked, calmly as he stared at her impassively.
The quiet in his words were worse than when he was yelling at her. She shifted from one leg to another, feeling uncomfortable.
"As far as I know, you have no immediate family."
"I'll find a place," she answered, curtly. "I refuse to stay here any longer." He set down the glass so hard, the contents sloshing furiously over the top.
Nalini jumped as the Duke stared at her, his gaze unsettling and the silence uncomfortable. His eyes narrowed, irritation seeping into his features yet again.
"I do not think so," he stated in a hard voice.
"Pardon?"
"You are not leaving."
"But that's my choice to make, Your Grace. And...I disobeyed you. I have no manners and I irritate you, don't I?"
"Let me tell you that you have no choice in this matter," he spoke coldly. His eyes then flashed with brief amusement. "But I agree; you do not know what manners are, you have been insufferable from the very start and I cannot stand you."
Nalini frowned, her gut feeling as though someone had kicked her there multiple times. She had imagined him to refute what she had said and at least reassure her a little bit.
"Your Grace, that was completely un—" She was cut off by the Duke raising his hand to silence her.
"However," he continued, staring at her with steely eyes. "Richard is immensely attached to you, unlike any other governess I have employed so I cannot let you leave. So, from henceforth on, considering you continually disregard me, you will be closely monitored. You can expect no less."
She was shocked. The man hated her but when she wanted to leave, he wouldn't even let her. Nalini shook her head saying, " I still can't remain here, I'm sorry."
The Duke stared at her, keeping her rooted to the ground. She bunched up her fists and her legs twitched. She had to leave. She just had to. She didn't know where, but she had to go out and do something. She felt as if she was going to go crazy if she didn't.
After counting down from three in her head, Nalini immediately bolted for the door. However, like a superhero, he made it there first in two easy strides. He towered over her, his palm flattened against the door as he glared down at her.
Nalini slowly backed away, wariness etched across her face. The Duke crossed his arms over his massive chest as he leaned against the door and regarded her carefully. "I do not know what happened out there," he said, surprisingly softly. "But I do not wish for you to leave. I will make sure you do not overstep your boundaries again but there is no wish on my part to terminate your employment."
"You don't need to lie, Your Gr—"
His face became serious again. "It is not a lie," he said, sternly.
Nalini stared up at him, wide-eyed. He stared back at her, impassively.
"You infuriate me to no end but you are useful. I am willing to apologi—"
"No, Your Grace."
If anything, she couldn't let him do that. It would only be him forcing himself to do so.
"You don't owe me an apology. You're the Duke of Birmingham and I'm a mere servant, after all. I'll do what you want and stay," she said, with no emotion.
Without another word, she left the room, only wanting to go to her room and cry herself to sleep at what happened back home. She nearly scoffed at herself.
Maybe the Duke was right after all. Maybe she was just a hopeless child.