Waddup, you guys. Sorry I haven't been uploading as quick as usual. *insert yet another lame excuse here* But here's a new chapter.
Hope you guys enjoy it! :DDD
*Unedited
________________________________
Hate Me, Love Me:
Chapter Ten: The Knowledge of Kissing and its Bases
I stared at my laptop, unable to type what I wanted to know.
Google was used for everything and Google may have the answers. I was too embarrassed to go to the bookstore and browse through the ‘…For Dummies’ bookshelves and have Margaret, the owner of the bookstore, ask me what I’m doing in that section and not in my usual aisles. I had been humiliated once, I don’t want to go through that again if some of the people that go to the same school were there to witness me looking through a book about kissing.
Instead, I was in my room with a cup of orange soda drinking from a crazy straw and wearing a Boba Fett helmet. Why? I was afraid to be searching this up.
Biting my lower lip, I began to type in the Google search bar timidly.
What are the bases of kissing?, I typed in, shuddering a little as I heard Kat’s voice echo in my mind.
Next time, we’ll go to second base…
I eyed my closed door for a moment, my heart hammering in my chest as I imagined a scenario of my brother bursting through the door with a knowing glint in his eyes as if he knew what I would be searching for. It may sound absurd that I would think of such a thing but I was being paranoid, afraid that I would get caught searching this.
Get a grip, Mabel, I scolded myself, watching the arrow icon on the ‘Search’ button.
“You could do this,” I whispered, closing my eyes as I clicked ’Search’.
I was expecting alarms to sound off and the house to screech out ’Red Alert’ but again, I was being paranoid. I opened my eyes and saw the millions of result Google had found me. Hesitantly, I clicked the first result that led me to Urban Dictionary that almost made me sputter out my soda inside my helmet.
Sexual Bases.
My eyes felt like they were going to fall out of their sockets as I stared at those words. A sound came from me almost like a whine/groan before burying my face in my hands. I had no clue in anything sexual. Heck, I was being taught how to kiss by my brother’s best friend. I’ve seen movies where others kissed in which is led to sexual intercourse. I don’t think I was that brave to do anything sexual with Kat…
I froze.
Did I want to do anything sexual with her?
Forbidden images suddenly flooded into my mind as I vividly imagined Kat and I…in a bed…naked.
And…doing stuff.
I could feel my face hot and Boba Fett’s helmet didn’t help me. Shaking my head from those images, I began to read what these sexual bases were.
1. Sexual Bases
First Base: Kissing (including French, open mouth, or just a peck). Anything above the belt can also be included.
Second Base: Anything below the belt. (Fingering for girls or hand jobs for guys).
Woah. Woah. WOAH.
I pulled off my helmet and gawked at the screen. That’s second base?! That’s what’s going to happen between Kat and I whenever we meet again? The butterflies began to swarm in my stomach morphing into frantic crows as tingles erupted throughout my body. If Kat and I had done first base, she didn’t…touch me above the belt. How in the heck was I suppose to go through with it if I was a nervous mess whenever I’m with her?
The crush I have on her would make everything worse.
Maybe…
Maybe this wasn’t right. Maybe the bases were wrong. I don’t think the bases of kissing were equivalent to these bases. After all, these were sexual bases not kissing bases…right?
I groaned, gnawing on my bottom lip as I scrolled down a little to read the rest.
Third Base: When mouths are used below the belt. (Going down on a guy or girl; oral sex.)
Home Base: Having sex; fucking; intercourse; going “all the way”; etc.
I think I was biting down my bottom lip a little too roughly as I read the last two bases. It was getting worse and worse which led to graphic images of Kat and I…
Beet red, I closed the window and slammed my laptop closed.
Nope. Nope. Nope.
That has been too much research for today. I would not use the web for any similar information whatsoever. I have to find another source that have knowledge of this. Surely, it couldn’t be the same. If it was, I’m going to die of inexperience and embarrassed and have the earth swallow me up. It would be too much. Knowing Kat was a woman while I was still a teenage girl made the future of what’s going to happen between us feel…mischievous in a way.
A knock rapped on my door snapping me out of my thoughts and any further vivid scenarios of Kat and I.
“Come in,” I called out, relaxing myself against the headboard.
Ivan stepped into my room, his eyes taking in my clean and organized room apart from his where clothes were strewn on the floor and skateboard magazines were stacked in each corner of his room along with his collection of old boards he had, trunks, and wheels. Don’t get me started on his closet and under his bed.
“Hey, I was think of doing a barbeque,” he announced, glancing at me for a moment before reverting his attention back to our dad’s guitar still perched in its stand next to my book shelf.
“Today?” I was confused as to why he wanted to make a barbeque on a Wednesday.
“No, not today. Probably on Friday or Saturday. I still gotta see. We haven’t used the grill in a long time and it’s just there in the back porch rusting away. What do you think?”
A barbeque meant he was going to have people over. His friends that usually hangs out with and it’s going to be the same results as his party. We would have to clean up after them and probably witness a few people pass out from all the alcohol they drank. But Ivan had seemed on edge lately plus, he’s taking care of the bills, the mortgage, and his skate shop. He needed to relax every now and then. I wouldn’t want my brother to lose his fun side and be conquered with work and stress.
“Sure,” I shrugged.
His eyes widened in shock as if he expected me to throw a fit of how there’s going to be people invading my space. “Really? You feel comfortable with people coming over?”
“Well, you did throw a party last time. I think I survived for another.”
Ivan smiled, coming closer to me and ruffled my hair which I slapped his hand away. “Thanks, sis. I’ll owe you.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
Ivan began to walk out of my room but suddenly stopped. The next moment he surprised me by launching himself to me and wrapping his arms around me. I was confused at this sudden act of brotherly love. It was awkward for us to show any affection towards each other especially me who would blush at any sign of affection. Ivan was my older brother who has the responsibility in protecting me as well as raising me. After a few minutes that passed, I return his hug, wrapping my arms around his torso.
I didn’t care for the reason as to why he was suddenly hugging me. All I cared was that Ivan was here with me. I don’t know what I will do without him.
“We’re going to be okay, Mabel,” he whispered, confusing me even more. “We’re going to be okay.”
We continued to hug each other for a little more until he pulled back, smiling at me before walking out of my room leaving me in a confused mess. What did he mean by that? Was he saying that mainly to himself to reassure him that we’ll in fact be okay?
Weren’t we okay already?
~*~
“Please don’t be mad,” was the first thing I heard when I got out of my AP Calculus class.
Shirley and Celeste were standing in front of me, holding my hand in theirs as their eyes were pleading with me not to get upset over what they had to say. To say I was confused would be an understatement. Beneath that confusion lurked the fear over what these two girls could have possibly done. I didn’t want to let my imagination run wild and frighten me even more. So, instead, I walked to my locker with them behind me.
“What did you guys do?” I asked them once I got to my locker.
I glanced at Shirley to see her biting on her bottom lip and looking away from me before I diverted my eyes to Celeste who was anxiously playing with her ponytail. They did something they knew I wouldn’t like. They were feeling the guilt of having it to do it behind my back.
I sighed, focusing back to opening my locker.
I didn’t have enough time to force them to spit it out. I had English next and I’ll be damned to get there late. I never had a tardy and I will allow today to have one. If Shirley and Celeste didn’t want to tell me then okay. They could tell me after school. Knowing them, their little shenanigan probably occurred during Lunch when they left me alone. I didn’t want to eat at the cafeteria to see Evelyn and Riley. After what happened, I was afraid to see them. Especially Evelyn. She was the one to cause harm on Gladys. Who knows what she’ll do to me when I blurt out as to why she would hurt her.
I quickly grabbed my English book and tossed my Calculus book inside my locker before closing it. I looked at the two girls who still remained silent. “You could tell me after school. Right now, I’m heading to English.”
Before I could turn around and head to my English class, Shirley stopped me.
She gave me an apologizing smile, “Like I said before, please don’t get mad. We’re only trying to step out of your bubble little by little. Both Celeste and I thought that to help you become a little social was to go on a date. So, we arranged a date for you.”
“You WHAT?!”
Celeste waved her hands, dismissively, “It’s nothing bad, I assure you. He’s a cool guy and you guys would look perfect together. He’s friendly and nice - he’s basically the whole package you look for in a guy.”
I was stunned to say the least.
I never would have thought that Shirley and Celeste would arranged a date for me let alone with someone I don’t know and they do. It was a blind date and I was afraid of even saying yes to it because after they saw my reaction, they held proud grins over their accomplishment. The fear that was hidden beneath the confusion I had earlier was now tenfold, destroying the confusion as I stood there, frightened. I never went on a date and Shirley and Celeste were cruel friends.
Why couldn’t they just take me to a party instead? Why a blind date?
Not waiting for my answer, they dragged me to my English class still stunned and told me to wait for them after class so they can tell me when this date would occur and where. I was afraid to even hear more of this date. They thought they would help me become a little more social but I have been social. Far more social than I would ever think. I kissed an older woman far many times. I had a crush on her and I was afraid to see her again because it might lead to second base and I could not let that happen.
During the entire English class, I couldn’t - for the life of me - concentrate. All I could think of was why I had friends like Shirley and Celeste. And why in the heck didn’t I say no to them and ending these nerves to come to an end rather be a frenzy mess. Was this a way that the stars are punishing me for locking myself in my room everyday? Probably. The notes Mrs. Stanton wrote on the whiteboard hardly made sense to me and I absentmindedly wrote them down. Whatever she taught the class couldn’t be fully registered as I kept thinking of this blind date.
Suddenly, the bell rung and I gaped at the clock, bewilderedly.
How could the class have ended already? Was this another plan of Shirley and Celeste’s to toy with the school’s schedule just to finally tell me the rest of the details? I quickly shook that thought away knowing Shirley and Celeste couldn’t have made that brilliant plan when they had their crushes in their classes. I shoved all my things into my bag and dragged myself out of class where I saw my two friends beaming. They quickly latched their arms in mine and began leading me outside of the school, following the crowd of students to the exit of the building. I wasn’t really anticipating for this moment but I had no other choice.
“You don’t have to look scared, Mabel,” Shirley chuckled.
“Easy for you to say,” I muttered. “You’re not the one going on a blind date.”
“You’ll enjoy yourself, though,” Celeste grinned, giddily. “Plus, we’ll be there but not joining in the date. We’ll be like your supervisors. If it goes wrong, we’ll rescue you and do whatever you would like to do after. Does that sound good to you?”
It did sound good to me.
Knowing Shirley and Celeste would be there made this blind date sound less frightening. I sighed, agreeing to that and we continued to walk down the steps and made our way to my usual route of my house. As I listened to Shirley and Celeste continue their usual banter of boys, the urge to ask them was clawing its way up my throat. A question that has been burning my mind along with my throat. I couldn’t Google anymore information because I was afraid of what else the internet would show me.
So, I took a deep breath and said, “Do you guys know what second base is?”
It was like time stopped and the whole world turned their attention on me. Shirley and Celeste’s heads snapped towards me so fast, I worried they would get whiplash. Their eyes were burning me, curiosity flowing with them as they slowed down their pace.
I shouldn’t have said that, I thought as I looked at my friends with dread washing through me.
“Why do you ask that?” Shirley asked, arching an eyebrow.
“Have you been kissing someone without telling us, Mabel?” Celeste’s voice grew louder with each word.
I flinched and bit my bottom lip.
I would have thought that this would be the most frightening moment of my life but it wasn’t. The stars were truly being cruel to me because just ahead of us walked a familiar woman with a few people around her. A woman that invaded my thoughts every day and night.
“Uh…” My voice trailed off, stupidly, as my eyes were trained on the tattooed beauty approaching us.
Those amber eyes that were looking down on the floor glanced up and met mine. Her lips twitching into a half smirk. She was beautiful with her black hair whipping back and her stride more dominant than the others. She had her hands deep within the pockets of her leather jacket and she wore a black crop top revealing more tattoos inking her stomach and waist.
Shirley and Celeste must have realized I wasn’t paying attention to them anymore and saw who caught my eyes. They began to talk again but I couldn’t hear them when Kat has not only invaded my thoughts but my senses as well. She was a siren calling out to me and I couldn’t help but drool over her. I didn’t care if Shirley and Celeste saw me drooling over her. Kat was gorgeous in her own tattooed and dominant way.
As she grew closer, my cheeks began to get redder. A glint flashed in her eyes and I couldn’t help but look away towards the people behind. I saw a few familiar faces from the other night and Riley and Evelyn was amongst them as well. Evelyn’s eyes narrowed on me before glancing at the two girls beside me. Riley did the same thing making feel more guilty for some reason. Maybe because I didn’t listen to them and rather let my own selfishness of not wanting to be alone get the best of me.
“…fucking bitch!”
My head snapped towards the voice and I gasped along with Shirley and Celeste towards Josh who suddenly appeared out of nowhere and rammed his fist against Kat’s face.
“Kat!” I cried out, unlatching my arms from Shirley and Celeste and rushed towards Kat who was cradling her face with her hand, glaring at Josh.
Her friends were supporting her, not letting her fall back and allow the opportunity for Josh to pounce on her and give her more than one punch. I don’t know why seeing her confronted made me go on instinct and make sure she was okay. My mind wasn’t fully connected with my body, giving the chance for my body to do whatever it like. But it seemed this time I should have stayed with Shirley and Celeste because when Josh saw me, he smirked cruelly at me.
“Well,” he looked back at Kat, taking a step closer to me, “she would even us out, wouldn’t she, Kat?”
Before I knew it, Josh raised his fist at me and the next thing I knew was hearing my name being cried out and threats being yelled.