Stephanie pulled herself awake, but even cutting the dream short didn’t stop the echoes in her head, her father’s voice calling her. Even two years later, after not hearing from anyone in the pack, she still hoped that they were safe and that she’d find them some day. It was Alexei she worried for. The little girl was mixed up in something she shouldn’t have to lose sleep over. Regret stirred uncomfortably in Stephanie’s stomach; she should have taken care of Alexei. Liam shouldn’t have had to take her. However, that’s what the situation forced, and Stephanie could only hope that they had gotten away safe.
It had been a while since she’d relived that night.
Stephanie yawned and stretched before getting out of bed. It was then that she realized that it was already Thursday, and not much time was left. That was the story of her life; there was never any time left. Something had to come to an end soon, and Stephanie knew that she’d end up moving on. If, by some miracle, she didn’t have to go by Sunday, she’d have to leave sooner or later. Something would force her to leave, as always.
Her lips pressed into a firm line as she shouldered her bag, having gotten ready to get to school, and headed out the door to school once again.
Carefully, Stephanie left out of the side door, keeping her cover for Miranda, the lady at the front desk. Sooner or later, someone would let slip that she wasn’t nineteen, but that was a problem for later.
As Stephanie was walking past the gates of the many white picket fence houses in town, one swung open, allowing Aaron to step out onto the pavement beside her. Stephanie looked up, surprised. She hadn’t passed anyone on the way to school before, which was strange on its own. Maybe she was late today.
Thanks to Stephanie’s orders in previous conversational attempts on the part of Aaron, silence descended between the two. Despite having created the uncomfortable quiet, Stephanie found that she missed their conversation- or arguments, as it were.
“I am allowed to walk the same way to school, aren’t I?” He questioned, glancing over at her, slight amusement teasing at the edge of his words.
“Yeah, you are.” Stephanie smiled, helpless to stop the easy relaxation she felt around the bright boy.
A grin appeared on Aaron’s face, and he slipped his hands into his pockets. They fell into a more companionable silence. “I wish Caroline would give you a chance,” He thought aloud, after a moment. “I mean, it’s so weird, how she treats you, compared to everyone else.”
Stephanie shrugged. “I’m an outsider,” She replied easily; glad that she could voice her thoughts directly with him. “You guys all grew up together, right?” When Steph noticed his nod, she carried on, “Then she’s bound to act strangely around me. People like me aren’t that easy to trust straight away.”
Aaron looked ahead, his head tilting slightly, thinking. “I never thought of it like that.”
“It’s easy to forget, and I may not be right, but that’s how I see it.”
Barely seconds later, the school rose up ahead of the pair, the lawn filled with students already. Thankfully, the novelty of her presence had worn out, just a little, compared to how it had been on the first day. Now what had people talking was Stephanie walking to school with Aaron. With a tired smile, Stephanie stopped and turned toward him.
“That’s my cue to leave.” She announced, glad for the short time they’d been able to talk.
“Alright,” Aaron answered, returning her smile before he waved and headed off to find Caroline.
Already, the day was looking up- all because she’d been able to talk to someone without reservation or feeling disconnected. Simple things were the most rewarding. It was just too bad that rules sometimes had to be broken for things to start getting better.
***
Warm rays of sun flowed through the freshly cleaned windows in Mr. Wilcox’s classroom. Though Stephanie was not near enough to one to get the full appreciation (or distraction) of it, the golden light affected her all the same. It induced peaceful laziness in her, right down to her bones. Such a uncomplicated thing of nature caught her attention in a winding river of gentle memories; before rough times and dark thoughts even seemed possible. Soon, she was gone with the current, submerged in thoughts of better days.
Dark sandy colored hair, catching the sun with its brilliant golden hues and deep, smiling green eyes. Laughter.
Stephanie was spilling over with contentment as she chased Liam through the field. Gorgeously green grass tickled their legs as they ran. Even Alexei had joined in, wobbling on her little two-year-old legs. The older kids slowed, allowing her to catch up. A gracious breeze brought cool air over from the mountains, providing respite from the midday sun.
Liam picked Alexei up and swung her around, her toddler giggles filling the air around them. Stephanie stopped, watching them. A smile, so big that it threatened to split her face in half, stretched her lips.
Everything was fresh, young and happy, just like life had been, back then. It felt like it would last forever, but all dreams came to an end eventually. Then all that was left were thin shadows of them.
“Miss Armstrong?” Mr. Wilcox repeated, jolting Stephanie out of her daydreaming.
“Yes Mr. Wilcox?” She replied, berating herself for letting her mind wander for so long.
“The class,” He began pointedly, eyebrows poised above his glasses. “Was discussing the theme of loneliness in the novel so far. Care to share your opinion?”
It wasn’t that difficult to wrack her brain for something to comment on. If nothing else, being alone was something Stephanie was well-versed in. “The nature of ranch-hand work in the 1930s was a generally lonely career in itself because it was temporary and people were constantly moving to look for new work.” She explained, taking care to keep her voice smooth and fluid. It was bad enough that everyone was looking at her. “There wasn’t much room for them to settle down or know people for long because of that.” Stephanie certainly knew what she was talking about, and it showed by the conviction in her voice. “In the novel, a lot of characters felt further isolated because of their physical characteristics. For example, Curley’s Wife was the only woman on the ranch and Crooks felt cut off because of his race.” It all sounded familiar even though it wasn’t outwardly obvious to humans that Stephanie was a totally different species to them.
“Anything else?” Mr. Wilcox prompted; the beginning’s of respect showing in his face.
“The town George and Lennie arrive in is called ‘Soledad’, which means loneliness. The characters are literally surrounded by loneliness.” Just like me. Stephanie added, casting a quick glance to Daniel, who hadn’t paid any attention to her during the lesson. She rested her chin on the heel of her hand and looked forward as Mr. Wilcox proceeded with the lesson.
Stephanie was getting tired. The same thing happened everyday: a run in with Aaron, having Daniel change his attitude toward her everyday, worrying about money, struggling to keep up with homework and understanding school… it was making her want a change, something that wasn’t in the cards.
What that was, she didn’t know.
***
After English, Stephanie felt a difference in the air. She couldn’t pin point what it was, or what had caused it, but it was absolutely there. As she looked around at the students in the hallways, she realized that even the humans could feel it, and that put her on edge.
Impulsively, her gait slowed. Her eyes swept along the rows of lockers, sensitively searching for the source of the change.
It was a feeling of tautness in the atmosphere, as if pressure was building on the school from all sides- or stretching the bonds between people. That was a better description. Carefully, Stephanie broadened her senses, letting them cast out for the discrepancy within the student body.
Immediately, she was bombarded with the emotions of the people flooding the corridors.
Disbelief. Irritation. Anger. Disappointment.
The sentiment that hit her hardest was easy to trace back to the owner. Caroline. A sour mixture of two stronger emotions overshadowed the unconcealed fury in her: fear and panic.
Emotion circulating the hallway like that was dangerous, Stephanie knew, and most of it did not come from Aaron and Caroline. It was easy to recognize what was going on there. As a pack species, it would be disgraceful to miss the reasoning behind the unrest.
The Alphas were disagreeing beyond forgiveness.
In the eyes of the pack, the loner was the cause.
***
Stephanie’s stomach was painfully empty at the end of the day, but she couldn’t satisfy it with much more than a few sips of water. She should have saved money for longer, stayed where she had been for a few more months. You didn’t though, she reminded herself, you left, and now you have to deal with that. Her stomach panged with hunger and the energy had long drained from her empty veins, content to torture her if she wouldn’t give it what it wanted.
It would eventually become a problem, choosing money over food, although either way she’d end up hungry and without shelter at some point. The only choice she had was food now, or keeping her head above water now. Despite the fact that ‘money wasn’t everything’ it indeed dictated life for everyone. In the end, in this life at least, money was what kept people fed and clothed. That was a fact. Without it, Stephanie wouldn’t have the slightest chance at survival, and that’s all she could afford to aim for.
Her head swam for a moment and Stephanie stopped walking for a second, letting her head clear. Instead of going back to the hotel, she sauntered over to the oak tree outside of school and sat down at the bench there. Going from one room to another all day everyday was boring and had left her starved for the company of nature.
Finishing off her Math and English assignments was already a feat that declared war on Stephanie’s worn out attention span. Being distracted by the closed off feeling of a room would further aggravate her dwindling concentration levels. Pulling the necessary books out of her bag, Stephanie crossed her legs and laid her notebook across her lap.
A gentle, teasing breeze flitted against her skin and through her hair, calming her instantly. Stephanie’s breathing leveled out and deepened, allowing better oxygen flow to her brain. The tension in her body drained out of her muscles and cast away with the wind.
Minutes passed as Stephanie waded through each math problem, attempting to wrap her head around concepts that she just didn’t understand. Who had the time for math, anyway, when they were on the run? The only math she used daily was the account she had in her head for what little money she had left. Wasn’t that proof enough that math was made to make trouble?
This lifestyle had put Stephanie in an impossible position in her studies. She definitely couldn’t say that she had kept up well, nor could she fabricate suitable excuses for her poor understanding of all things school-related. Two years looking after herself had not done wonders for her grades. It was only her determination and basic understanding of subjects that carried her through to passing point. Secretly, she wished that she could be better.
“What’re you still doing out here?” Kirsten asked as she exited the building, turning to stride toward Stephanie.
“Trying to finish homework before I go home.” Stephanie replied, shrugging lightly.
Kirsten didn’t pay any mind to the implied request for quiet. “Did you hear?”
“Hear what?” Stephanie mumbled, eyes still on her lined page of equations and formulas.
“Caroline and Aaron broke up.”
The earlier rigidity in Stephanie’s shoulders reappeared, much faster than it had managed to dissipate. “Why?” She asked, making an effort to sound casual but interested, though she was sure it sounded more strangled than it was supposed to.
Kirsten grew suspiciously quiet, shrugging slightly before hopping back off the bench. “I have to get home now, but I’ll see you tomorrow?”
Stephanie looked up from her homework, giving Kirsten a tight smile. “Yeah, I’ll be here.”
Kirsten waved and bounded away, energy putting the pep in her step.
This town was not as easy to fit into as Stephanie had originally thought. Minimal drama didn’t seem to be an option.